


Louder Than Words

by Amalgam000



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Endgame, Post-Season/Series Finale, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-07-13 14:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 107,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16019558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amalgam000/pseuds/Amalgam000
Summary: Chakotay’s past as a Maquis catches up to him after Voyager returns to the Alpha Quadrant, prompting Kathryn to do everything in her power to help him. Some actions do speak louder than words…Meanwhile, Seven sets out on a mission of her own: finding the Borg Resistance.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This all started with a simple and innocuous premise: what would happen if Starfleet had not pardoned the Maquis aboard Voyager upon their return to Earth? Simple enough, right? So I thought. But then the characters took over, and they had a lot of things to feel and say… One page led to another and, well, here we are, with another novel-length story.
> 
> Pairing: This story is Janeway/Chakotay-centric, but I really liked Seven’s relationship with Axum in Unimatrix 0, so this story revisits this relationship. That said, since C/7 is the hand the writers dealt us at the end of the series, the first few chapters also deal with that and work as a kind of “fix-it” where Janeway, Chakotay and Seven deal with the repercussions of Voyager’s return to Earth. So keep in mind that if there is some mention of C/7, it’s ultimately with the view of benefitting a Janeway/Chakotay romance. So just bear with me! 
> 
> Without further ado, settle down in your favorite chair, grab a drink of your favorite poison, and I hope you enjoy!

PART I: THE EDGE OF FREEDOM

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

_There is no refuge from memory and remorse in this world. The spirits of our foolish deeds haunt us, with or without repentance._ ~ Gilbert Parker

 

The air was an invigorating kind of cold. A thin layer of icy snow covered the ground and crunched beneath Kathryn’s feet, but the howling wind had long cleared the sky of any lingering clouds. The setting sun cast its orange light against the pink, red and rusty colored cliffs and bluffs that seemed to hover above the horizon in the distance, giving the illusion of a powerful, all-consuming blaze.

Kathryn took a moment to take in the beauty of this awe-inspiring and uncompromising place; the rocky hills of snow-covered bushes, the high rises of the buffs and plateaus in the distance. She breathed in the crisp air sweetened by the scent of pine-like trees nearby.

As she stood there, in the place that Chakotay had once called home, she thought she could conceive an entirely new side of him, a part she had only glimpsed once, a long time ago, when shared quarantine had brought them closer. Being here, it suddenly made sense to her: why all those years ago, before they had met, he had been ready to give up his Starfleet ambitions, betray the Federation, and even give his life for a fight that she hadn’t truly understood until she had met him. It had been to honor his people, his father. To protect _this_ place, the people who lived there, and the history of hardship, forced removal – and ultimately resilience and community – that it represented.

And recently, this history had entangled Cardassians, Federation colonists and Maquis into a bloody and dirty conflict. There were no outward signs of it, but Kathryn knew that not all scars were on the surface: some of them were carried within.

“Captain, do you read me?”

Kathryn startled at the sound of her combadge. “I read you loud and clear, Tom.”

“I’m in position, and ready when you are.”

“Give me a few minutes.”

“Understood.”

She flipped up the collar of her jacket, fighting the cold-induced shiver that rippled through her as she turned to face the building that stood behind her. It was a simple house, inviting, but simple, built in a style that reminded Kathryn of square adobe dwellings that, once upon a time, had covered the southwest region of the United States. It looked so… real. And welcoming. Nothing like the drab walls and corridors of her new Starfleet quarters in San Francisco. _Couldn’t Starfleet have come up with something a little bit more cheerful?_

Kathryn shook herself and walked to the door. Uncertain about how her presence here would be received, she had to let out a steadying breath before she knocked.

It took a moment before the door swung open, and Kathryn had to redirect her gaze downward to look at the dark-eyed boy of 8 or 9 who had opened the door. He stared at Kathryn for a moment – his wide eyes reflecting a mix of curiosity and suspicion.

“Hello,” Kathryn greeted smilingly.

When he didn’t reply, Kathryn bowed at the waist slightly to be at eye-level with him. It didn’t escape her notice when he took a small step back at the sight of the Starfleet insignia on her coat. Considering that neither the Federation nor Starfleet had a great reputation in these parts of the quadrant, Kathryn mentally kicked herself for wearing her uniform down here. It could be taken as an affront, and that was the last thing she wanted. She raised her hands in a defensive gesture. “I’m not going to hurt you, young man. I’m here to see-”

“Nim, how many times do I have to tell you this is not the time for your friends to come ov-”

The woman’s voice faltered when she appeared behind the boy, and met Kathryn’s eyes in a mix of surprise and suspicion. Kathryn straightened up as the woman told the boy to go back inside, to which he complied reluctantly.

“Please forgive my intrusion,” Kathryn said as she raised her hands non-threateningly. “Are you Takayla?” She studied the dark-haired woman, searching for any resemblance, any hint in her features that she was the one she had come to see. Even though the younger woman’s eyes were lighter-colored – hazel – and her face was more slender, more delicate, there was definitely something in her expression and the twist of her mouth that couldn’t deny the kinship.

The woman, about the same height as Kathryn, held up her chin and gave a stern nod. “You are. What can I do for you?” Her tone was suspicious and defiant, but Kathryn sensed a real curiosity in the way her eyes studied her face.

“I’m Captain Kathryn Janeway. I’m here about your brother-”

The younger woman paled, her hand gripping the doorframe for support. “Don’t tell me he’s…”

“Oh no!” Kathryn was quick to reassure her, mortified by the misunderstanding. She just couldn’t stop making faux pas today, first with the uniform and now with her poor choice of words! “Chakotay is alive and well.”

“Oh thanks be to the ancestors!” Takayla, Chakotay’s sister, replied on a relieved sigh. She shook herself after a second and tightened her cardigan around herself against the cold. “It’s cold out, you'd better come inside.”

Kathryn nodded gratefully; her feet had already started to feel a pinch from the icy temperatures.

They walked into the warmth of the kitchen area, and Takayla offered to make some coffee, which Kathryn gratefully accepted as she glanced around with a mix of curiosity and private delight. The house had all of the niceties of 24th-century technology, but Kathryn loved the way Takayla had an actual fire going in the fireplace. Paper books filled a wall-covering bookshelf in a living room area, and patterned rugs covered the rust-colored floor tiles. As comfortable and at ease as Chakotay was on a starship, it was easy to imagine him growing up in a house like this – cozy, warm.

Like him.

Takayla’s voice brought Kathryn back to her mission here. “Janeway, you said?”

“That’s right.”

“Of course! Sorry, I was too stunned to make the connection right away,” Takayla nodded, her back to Kathryn, as she prepared the beverages. “Chak has told me about you in his messages over the last couple of years – far and in between as they were. I must say I’ve been quite curious to meet you.” She turned to face her and while a part of Kathryn was still trying to wrap her brain around Chakotay as ‘Chak,’ she found herself at the receiving end of a clever and searching gaze. The resemblance struck Kathryn again, this time in the curious – knowing – glint in the woman’s eyes. Takayla leaned back against the counter and crossed her arms. “But that can wait for now. I don’t mean to be impolite, but why are you here today, and without my brother?”

Kathryn nodded. “Takayla, Chakotay needs your help. It’s why I’m here.”

Takayla’s expression darkened into a frown, but she continued to hold Kathryn’s gaze. “With what?”

“I’m afraid his Maquis past has finally caught up to him. He’s…” Kathryn had to swallow the sudden lump in her throat. “He’s been arrested. He’s to stand trial in a few days.” Kathryn cleared her throat when her voice cracked despite her best intentions to stay composed. “I was hoping you could point me to someone you trust, to represent him in a Starfleet court of law. Now I understand that you are a counselor yourself, and I would ask you, but it would probably be a conflict of interest-”

Takayla handed the cup of coffee to Kathryn. “Not according to Starfleet regulations 4800.2a.”

Kathryn blinked in surprise as she took the offered mug. “What do you mean?”

“It stipulates that ‘Starfleet will allow the defendant to be represented according to the laws of the said defendant’s natal world, if it is so decided by the aforementioned defendant.’ And here, on our world, it is entirely the defendant’s choice to determine who will speak on their behalf.” She gave a small shrug at Kathryn’s impressed stare. “I was trained at a Federation university.”

If Kathryn hadn’t been convinced before that Takayla herself would be an appropriate choice to represent Chakotay, she was now. B’Elanna had been right about her. She only hoped that Chakotay would forgive her for this. Kathryn leaned over the table to meet Takayla’s gaze, her expression earnest. “Will you do it?”

“Did he send you?”

Kathryn was a little taken aback by the question. It suddenly occurred to her that she actually knew very little of Chakotay’s current relationship with her – all he had ever told her had been about their childhood – and it suddenly dawned on her that she could be opening an entirely different can of worms by being here – when he’d expressly told her it might not be a good idea. The last thing she wanted to do was insert herself into Chakotay’s family business. But Kathryn needed someone she could trust, and B’Elanna had had nothing but good things to say about Takayla. Besides, she’d come this far. “No. As a matter of fact he doesn’t know I’m here. Will this affect your decision?”

Takayla ‘hmmed’ in response, her gaze still scrutinizing Kathryn’s expression with a mix of curiosity and something akin to mischief. “I’ll do it,” Takayla declared eventually, and Kathryn released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “What are they charging him with?”

Kathryn held her breath. “Treason.”

oooOooo

 

Ta ta taaaa…! ;-)

 


	2. Chapter 2

_Several days before_

Chakotay sat in his quarters aboard Voyager, a cup of hot herbal tea warming one of his hands, while the other kept the pages of his book opened for him to read.

With all the excitement and chaos of their miraculous escape from the Delta Quadrant (including the full-fledged celebration in the mess hall a few hours before), he was too wired to sleep. They still had a couple of more days to travel through the Alpha Quadrant before Voyager finally returned to Earth after its seven-year journey, and too many thoughts swirled around in his head. He'd hoped that the silence of his quarters would help him gather his thoughts, and quiet the inexplicable agitation he’d felt since their return. Reading was proving useless, though; every time he read a few sentences, he eventually realized that he hadn’t processed one word, and had to start over.

The disquiet, a kind of instinctual dread, that he felt was unfathomable and wholly unexpected. It was almost like their return – instead of fulfilling him with joy or relief – had left him empty. Lost. And he couldn’t fathom why. Was he mourning the loss of a concrete goal, of the feeling of being part of something extraordinary, something grander than himself? Maybe. After all, with its return to Federation territory, Voyager would become a starship like all the others, and its crew would be integrated into Starfleet – like Borg drones into their Collective. Where did that leave _him_? Until a few days ago, he’d never truly let himself dream about what he would do if they ever made it back. He’d always been more of a ‘live in the moment’ kind of man, and in fact, he’d often reminded Kathryn that accepting one’s fate could be as healthy as refusing to give up. But now he found himself blindsided by his own lack of imagination. Would he keep exploring the galaxy alongside Kathryn and the rest of Voyager's crew? It felt like the natural thing to do. He had made a home on Voyager and with the crew, and he couldn’t picture himself doing anything else.

And then there was the next big question: what would it mean for the future of his still unfolding relationship with Seven? Where did _he_ want it to go?

 _And what about Kathryn?_ A little voice in his head whispered, adding to his disquiet.

A few hours ago, he had given Kathryn his birthday present, a pocket watch he had replicated years ago but had never found the right moment to give to her. _This_ , their return home on the day of her birthday, seemed like the perfect occasion. She had been moved by the thought and the symbolism, when he told her the story of Captain Cray, a nineteenth-century British Navy officer who had returned his crew home months after everyone believed them dead. But there had been something subdued and sad in her expression too. And it was only after the conversation turned to Seven, and his relationship with her, that he got a hint as to its cause. The look of utter dismay she had desperately tried to hide continued to haunt him.

_"So it's true, then. You two are…"_

Chakotay had taken in a deep breath. _"We're dating, yes."_

She had barely flinched at this confirmation of what she had already figured out, but after a long second she'd blinked quickly and turned around to sweep her eyes around the people gathered in the mess hall for the party. _"I see."_

Chakotay had frowned at her reaction, taken aback despite the little voice in his head that told him he'd known, deep down, that she probably wouldn’t jump for joy when she found out. But it couldn't be because she cared about him in that way, so, why? _"I see this upsets you. Why?"_ He'd asked bluntly at her reaction. A long time ago, he had promised her that he would always strive to lighten her burden, and if he had failed her in some way, he needed to know.

She'd quickly recovered, and had made up something about her reaction being one of concern for two members of her crew. But Chakotay knew her too well to believe a word of it, or to be fooled by her attempt at putting up a wall around her emotions. It had been useless anyway, since it had done nothing to hide from him her shock and a brief flash of hurt.

They'd been interrupted by B'Elanna's entrance with Miral and Tom, but he could recognize an attempt at a dodge when he saw one, and Kathryn had just sidestepped around the truth with as much subtlety as a boxing novice did around a punch. Hiding her emotions had never been her forte.

But what was even more troubling was how much her reaction had confused _him_. It had made him doubt certain things that he had taken for granted, such as his commitment to his new relationship with Seven, or even the nature of Kathryn’s affection for him. Because as the years had gone on, he had convinced himself that she only saw him as a friend and would never allow herself to feel anything beyond that. But what if he had been wrong? What if she was better at hiding her emotions than he’d thought?

God what if he’d been wrong…

Now, hours later, the thought continued to wreak havoc amid his emotions, and he didn’t know what to think.

Distracted as he was with these thoughts as he pretended to read, his combadge startled him when it suddenly beeped. Tuvok’s voice resounded with a simple command: “Commander Chakotay to the Captain’s ready room.”

Curious about why Kathryn and Tuvok would want to meet with him at this time, Chakotay marked the page in his book (whatever good it did him since he'd have to start over anyway), straightened his uniform, and took one last sip of tea before making his way to the bridge.

As he stepped out of the turbolift, he was surprised to find Tuvok standing at his usual post rather than in the captain’s ready room, and Chakotay frowned as he walked the short distance to chime the doorbell to the captain’s ready room.

The door slid open and Chakotay stepped in. And stopped dead in his tracks. The lights were dimmed, and he stood still while his eyes adjusted to the darkness. The captain’s desk was deserted. Whipping his head around, he frowned anxiously at the sight that greeted him: the captain was sitting on the couch by the large window, almost completely in shadows. She was holding her head in her hands, her fingers digging into her hair, and a tumbler of amber liquid stood in place of the usual coffee mug on the table next to her knee.

Unable to control the wave of concern that engulfed him at finding her looking so dejected, Chakotay took one step toward her, wishing for all the world that he could reach out to comfort her in some way. He hadn’t seen her look so anguished in a long, long time. It never failed to make his heart give a painful lurch.

“Captain?” He asked, his voice sounding loud in the quiet of the room.

She didn’t move, not even to acknowledge his presence, but when she spoke her voice was low and raw. “Are you done packing?”

Chakotay frowned in confusion. “Almost,” he replied while he apprehensively stepped closer.

Suddenly she straightened, sliding her hands from her face. Her expression was pained and hard, her lips pinched together. Her eyes met his, and Chakotay was startled by the harrowed look on her face. The painful grip around his heart clutched tighter. He briefly wondered whether this was about Seven, but quickly dismissed the thought. As upset as she had seemed earlier, this was a whole new level of anguish.

She sprang to her feet and grabbed her tumbler on the way, making the ice rattle against the glass, and walked aimlessly a few steps past him. Chakotay spun on his heels to follow her movement with his eyes.

“Good,” she replied, “because we’re dropping you off on the nearest inhabitable planet. From there you should be able to find transportation to take you to your home planet, if that’s where you want to go, though it would probably make it too easy to find you if you went there first-”

He was so focused on trying to decipher her tone and demeanor that he almost missed what she was actually saying. When his brain caught up to her words, he frowned in confusion. Drop him off? What in the world…? “Captain, what are you talking about?”

She stopped her pacing in front of him and raised her eyes to meet his. “I just received a communiqué from Starfleet Command,” she spoke slowly, her voice low-pitched, as if every word was painful. “The Starfleet Justice Inquirer General has put out an arrest warrant on the former Maquis in my crew. Should you be delivered to Starfleet, you are all to be court-martialed. For treason. Needless to say, they’re expecting me to comply and turn you all in.”

There was a long moment of silence as Chakotay’s brain processed 'court-martialed’ and 'treason,' the shock stunning him into immobility.

Kathryn started pacing again, her anger lending a dangerous edge to her tone. “Can you believe that? As if I would deliver you all on a silver platter! I’m _not_ going to let that happen, Chakotay! I’ve spent the last hour trying to find a way around this, but there’s nothing…”

His own swelling shock caused him to tune out the rest of her rant, like a buzzing in his ear. Could the Federation really come after them now? True, ever since Kathryn had shared Admiral Hayes’s request for information on the status of the Maquis among her crew, he’d been worried about what would happen once – _if –_ they returned to the Alpha Quadrant. But it had all seemed so far ahead, then… And he’d actually believed that the response he and Kathryn had composed together, detailing all of the good deeds of the concerned crewmen and women, had been enough to sway Starfleet that they were no longer a threat. At the worst, he’d imagined facing some complications in his future professional life, or in his acceptance within Starfleet circles, but nothing so drastic as treason charges and the risk of imprisonment.

The sense of constant alertness and urgency that he had felt as a Maquis, as the captain of a ship which had to ceaselessly evade both Federation and Cardassian forces, made an unwelcome return, coiling his gut into a painful knot. Was he to revert to the man he had been before he’d met Kathryn Janeway? That angry, restless man who’d wanted nothing more than to get lost in the fight?

At last Kathryn’s words – her desperate plans for his escape – reached his brain and the sound of it helped him overcome his own anger and shock. This was obviously her fear and guilt talking, but if she let him and the other Maquis escape the way she was describing, _she_ would be prosecuted for dereliction of duty, or worse! He wasn’t about to let that happen! The situation was dire enough without adding _that_ to his conscience. How cruel it was of Starfleet to ask one of their best captains to turn in her own people! Way to repay her exemplary service!

“No, Kathryn, stop!” He interrupted by stepping in front of her to have her meet his eyes. “I am _not_ going to spend the rest of my life like some fugitive, running away from Starfleet! You know as well as I do I’m not that man anymore! And I sure as hell won’t let B’Elanna and the others go through that either!”

“They want you all for _treason_ , Chakotay. Do you realize what that means?”

Chakotay straightened with a defeated sigh. “Prison for life. Yes, I’m aware. We wouldn’t be the first Maquis to suffer that fate.” The faces of his few friends currently held by the Federation, the last few survivors of the Maquis, sprang to his mind. Was he to share their fate, then? Had he been arrogant to consider himself above reprimand, just because he’d served Kathryn and Voyager as a Starfleet officer these last few years?

Apparently. How shortsighted and complacent his overconfidence had made him…

Kathryn shook her head, her own anger making her voice raw. “I can’t let you, and B’Elanna, and the others, throw your lives away for a part of your lives you gave up years ago! It’s insane!”

“It’s a long cry from what I imagined my return home would be like, to say the least…” he conceded, briefly. “But you know as well as I do that running away is not going to achieve anything.”

Her eyes met his and Chakotay held her gaze, unrelenting, for a long moment, hoping to make his point through sheer stubbornness. After what felt like a long minute, she broke the contact, and shook her head dejectedly. Her voice had lost its angry edge when she spoke, leaving it cracking. “Seven years ago I was sent to retrieve you and bring you to justice, but now… Now all I can think about is helping you escape it.”

She was now standing right in front of him, her head tilted back to meet his eyes. Her anger had made way to grief, and Chakotay couldn’t help a shaky breath from escaping his lips at her expression.

“And that’s… incredibly generous of you, Kathryn. It means a lot to me.” He inhaled and met her eyes again. “But I’m not going to run away from this, and I sure as hell won’t put you in the awkward situation of putting us under arrest. I’m going to turn myself in. Right now. It’s the only way.”

“The only way to do what, exactly?” She countered, but then her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You’re hoping that this gesture of good faith might give you a bargaining chip to ask for the others’ charges to be dropped. That’s quite a gamble.”

Chakotay nodded, not surprised that she had read his intentions, placing his hands on his hips out of habit. “I know. But I have to take the chance.”

She threw him an exasperated – and somewhat vexed – glance. “Sacrificing yourself for the others! Honestly I can’t decide whether that’s a stupid or heroic thing to do.”

Chakotay rubbed his face. “Well, if you have another solution – one that doesn’t involve dumping me on the nearest planet – I’m all ears!”

She stared at him for a long time, frowning as she considered her options. But then she shook her head sadly, deflated. “I’m so sorry, Chakotay.”

He swallowed with difficulty, suddenly choking on his own emotions and the raw pain he saw in her eyes. “I know you are.” He’d actually preferred her anger to this vulnerability. “But right now I don’t need you to be sorry, I need you to do what you do best, and think of the crew. I need you to support my decision, no matter how much you hate the idea. I need to know I have your support.”

She blinked, as if surprised that he would have to ask. “You do have it. Always.”

Chakotay held her gaze. He shook himself after a little voice in his head told him he’d let himself linger. He cleared his throat. “Look, let’s not tell the others before I’ve spoken to the Justice Inquirer to discuss the conditions of my surrender. Let them enjoy their return home for as long as possible.”

“What about Seven?”

Chakotay’s mind froze for a moment.

The impact that this would have on Seven hadn’t even crossed his mind until now. But, _of course,_ this would affect her as well. And that was… That was something he could never ask her to go through. She didn’t deserve to get caught in tangles of his own making.

He shook his head, suddenly self-conscious under Kathryn’s scrutiny. All he could do was answer as honestly as he could. “I don’t know! I don’t know. I can’t think about this right now.”

Her gaze didn’t waver, but her voice took a quiet quality. “Alright.”

It was his turn to pace, pushing his uneasiness and guilt aside. He chuckled humorlessly. “You know what the irony is? My joining the Maquis didn’t have anything to do with Starfleet! I did it because I felt it was the right thing to do, to protect my home, my family, and to honor my father’s memory. And the truth is: I would do it all over again if I had the chance. And if Starfleet disagrees, then I’m willing to face the consequences.”

“Well, maybe you should avoid saying that in front of the jury…” Kathryn replied wryly.

“If the jury is too stupid to recognize right from wrong then-” He stopped himself and gave Kathryn an apologetic look. “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head to dismiss it, but then something shifted in her expression, and he immediately recognized it. Purpose. Hope. Her tone turned conspiratorial, eager, when she spoke. “Well, you’re right about one thing: you’ll have a right to a trial. We can fight this, Chakotay! Juries can be swayed by strong arguments. This could work to our advantage, if we plan it carefully.” Her eyes held a new glint of determination, and Chakotay marveled at the way it lit up her eyes, kindling fires of willful zeal. His heart swelled, knowing that he had in her a formidable ally, in addition to a friend. But, he reminded himself, he couldn't let her be a part of this, it was too big of a risk! He refused to get her tainted by association.

"Kathryn, I can't possibly ask you to-"

"Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence, Commander."

Chakotay held her stare for a long moment, but then released a small involuntary smile. He knew that look all too well – there was no way in hell he would be able to change her mind about this. And deep down, he was grateful. Even though he didn’t actually speak, she must have seen his reluctant agreement in his expression because her face lit up with purpose. "Now, we need to figure out exactly how we can make this play in our favor."

He sighed in annoyance. “This all feels so… political. Why can’t it just be about common sense?”

Her wry smile widened. “Because – as Tuvok would be more than happy to remind us – our species is nonsensical most of the time, no matter how much we try to convince ourselves otherwise. So what do you say Commander? Shall we show them what happens to those who mess with my crew?”

Chakotay couldn’t help but smile a little. “You _are_ a force to be reckoned with, Kathryn.”

“Damn right I am.”

For the first time since walking into this office, he let a tiny little flame of hope burn somewhere hidden in his heart. Though there was no doubt that it was Kathryn alone who bore the torch. “In this case, might I suggest we begin by replacing whatever it is you’ve been drinking with your usual poison?”

She gave a small snort as her eyes fell on the tumbler in her hand. Her free hand patted his chest gratefully on her way to her desk. “Yes. Please. Any chance I can convince you to make it Irish?” She said as she threw him a teasing glance. It was still just a shadow of her usual teasing expression, but Chakotay would take it any day over the anguish he’d found her in earlier.

“No.”

She scoffed and ordered the computer to turn on the lights to their full intensity. Chakotay blinked as his eyes adjusted.

“Tell me Chakotay, how is it that, even when you’re the one under fire, you’re still the reasonable one?”

He couldn’t help falling into their usual banter mode. Yes, this was good; this air of normalcy was exactly what they both needed right now. He would cling to it like a drowning man to a life jacket. He threw her a sly grin as he walked to the replicator. “I guess it’s just _one_ of my many mysteries. Computer: two coffee orders. One black. The other with one milk and two sugars.”

Her overly dramatic groan of disgust gave him just the extra strength he needed to keep his head above water for just a little longer.

oooOooo

“I have to admit, Seven, I still have my doubts about the wisdom of this…endeavor.”

Seven glanced at the Doctor. He was scanning the regeneration alcove with the same attention and frown of concern he would commit to a living patient. Icheb stood by him, looking in on the tricorder data over the Doctor’s shoulder with undisguised interest.

“I understand the incentive,” the Doctor went on, “but the technology behind the synaptic transceiver from the future is well beyond anything we’ve ever seen. Even you. And we only had access to it for a short period of time. We have no way of knowing what the integration of a retrofitted version to your alcove will do to your cortical node.”

After ensuring that all the parts were integrated and connected to the alcove panel, Seven walked back to the main console. “Your concerns are duly noted,” she replied as her fingers slid over the consoles to make the necessary adjustments. “However, Icheb and I have run multiple simulations to ensure that the risk to myself is minimal. And the captain has already given her approval.”

That did not appear to assuage his concerns. His frown deepened instead. “Well, the captain’s relationship with the Borg is hardly what I would call objective.”

“I assure you, she was not easily convinced, especially now that Voyager has returned to the Alpha Quadrant. But she, as you say, _understands the incentive_. This is the most efficient method of gathering data on how much our destruction of the Borg unicomplex has impacted the Collective. If a new queen has emerged, or if they are preparing to retaliate, it is in everyone’s best interests that we know. The integration of the future transceiver technology to my alcove will, I believe, allow me to tap into the Collective’s neurolink undetected.”

The Doctor pursed his lips. “Still, I would feel more comfortable if I were to be present when you first attempt this…experiment.”

Seven returned her gaze to him. “I agree. This is precisely why I have asked you here now. We’re ready to test it.”

The Doctor exhaled uneasily, staring for a moment between Seven and Icheb. “Alright. At least wear this monitor so that I can keep an eye on your brain activity.”

“As you wish.”

Once Seven was standing in her alcove and Icheb had taken her place at the console, the Doctor placed the monitor on her temple. He stepped back and Seven drew in a long breath.

“Good luck,” the Doctor said.

She gave a curt nod and closed her eyes, emptying her mind of any thought or doubt.

The connection to the alcove felt familiar and Seven relaxed into this state of being, opening her mind. Soon her breathing slowed and deepened, her consciousness slowly fading to nothingness – she was falling into her regeneration cycle, but this was not what she wanted to accomplish. Her conscious mind fought it; was the transceiver not functioning properly? She could not understand where they may have gone wrong. Perhaps in the-

She felt a surge of electricity, not enough to cause pain, but a slight jolt. She wondered if perhaps she had spoken out loud, and Icheb had made necessary adjustments to the alcove. But whatever the cause, the jolt had caused her mind to feel sharper, wider, more open. It was a peculiar sensation.

And suddenly she heard something. It was faint and disjointed. It sounded like words, but she could not quite make them out. She focused, attempting to open her mind even wider, to reach further. The words continued uninterrupted, somewhat stronger, but still unintelligible and disjointed. She could hear one voice; was that the Collective? No, the Collective’s voice was made up of a multitude. These voices were unique, incoherent. Different voices and languages stopped and rose up again in a chaotic conversation.

Just as Seven felt as though she were on the brink of understanding parts of it, her mind flashed with an image of-

Seven inhaled sharply. Before she knew it she was back in the alcove, both the Doctor and Icheb staring at her with concern.

“Well??” The Doctor asked.

Seven stepped down from the alcove and realized she was shaking from the strain of concentration. The Doctor started scanning her when she had to lean against the console. “The transceiver appears to be functioning. There were voices, and I saw images. I am uncertain why, or how, but those images originated from Species 8472."

“Species 8472? Why? How is that possible?"

"We must tell the captain," Icheb added.

Seven shook her head. “Let’s not alarm her prematurely. We don’t have sufficient information to properly apprise her of my discovery and its implications. We must gather more data."

Before they could counter, she took in a breath and stepped back into the alcove.


	3. Interlude

“I have to confess, Captain, I have a lot of questions,” Takayla started as she took the tea that Kathryn handed to her. “Why did you take the trouble to come all the way from Earth to my home? A simple communication could have had the same result.”

It had taken a few hours to organize, but Takayla and her son Nimkotay (Nim, for short) were finally settled in the cargo hold of the shuttle for the trip to Earth. So far the boy had been quiet, but curious, if a little awestruck with Tom and Starfleet-issued shuttle. Kathryn couldn’t help but project a little bit of his uncle in his dark eyes and hair that stood straight up on his head. Takayla had made no mention of the boy’s father, and though Kathryn was curious, she had refrained from asking. Nim was now keeping Tom company in the cockpit, while Kathryn and Takayla met in the back to discuss the trial.

In spite of Kathryn’s effort to make conversation and draw out Chakotay’s sister, Takayla had remained reserved and sardonic throughout their preparations and boarding, so her opening up at last felt like progress – though Kathryn knew she had little to do with it.

It was hard to believe how different from Chakotay Takayla was in that respect. Chakotay had always been easy to talk to. His open-mindedness, his sense of humor, and his intellectual curiosity made him an engaging conversationalist. He could be blunt at times, but only because he disliked misunderstandings and innuendos, and Kathryn actually admired that kind of straightforwardness, especially in an officer. It was probably one of the reasons Kathryn had trusted him almost instantly – but also why they'd butted heads so strongly when he disagreed with one of her decisions.

Takayla, on the other hand… Kathryn felt a kind of anger in the younger woman, a bitterness that had Kathryn burning with curiosity. Where did it come from? Was she always like this, or was it brought on by the fact that she had been called upon to deal with Starfleet – which, clearly, she disapproved of? But Kathryn curbed her curiosity. This was Chakotay’s family, and she respected his privacy too much to pry, especially since he hadn’t exactly agreed that Kathryn come here in the first place. In fact, the twinge of self-righteous guilt that reminded her that she’d gone without his approval was enough to convince her to keep the rest of her interventions to the minimum. A kind of prime directive, she told herself.

“Well,” Kathryn started in response to Takayla’s question, “since we had never met before, and considering the delicate nature of the matter at hand, I figured our chances at collaborating would be higher if I came in person.”

Takayla nodded, but her gaze remained scrutinizing. Kathryn wasn’t usually prone to fidgeting under other people’s stares, but Takayla’s was almost _knowing._ It threw her off.

“I applaud you for your sensitivity, Captain. Chances are, I would have skipped your call if you hadn’t bothered to come in person. Where I’m from it’s considered rude to contact someone without a prior face-to-face introduction.”

“Ruder than just showing up unannounced?” Kathryn asked with a curious smile.

“As strange as that may sound to you, yes.” Takayla took a sip of her tea. “But tell me, why aren’t you getting one of those Starfleet representatives whose purpose in life is to do exactly what you’re asking me to do? Someone who would be more qualified?”

Kathryn blew on the steam rising from her coffee before taking a sip while she considered Takayla’s question, debating with herself how much she should divulge of her suspicions. But if she wanted Takayla to help, she needed to be completely upfront with her.

“Let’s just say, my trust in Starfleet is not exactly absolute at the moment.”

Takayla leaned back in her chair, holding her teacup as if to warm her hands, as she gazed at Kathryn curiously. “You surprise me, Captain.”

“How so?”

Takayla shrugged slightly. “A Federation captain whose life is so indoctrinated by Starfleet protocols and values… I can’t help but wonder what could have shaken your trust in your dear Starfleet, and exactly what you’re willing to do to help my brother… The Federation won’t let him go easily because of what he represents. You must know that.”

Something in her tone was provoking, testing, and Kathryn willfully fought the unease that tightened her stomach. She was once again struck with the feeling that Takayla could see right through her, and see all of the feelings that Kathryn had spent years pretending weren’t there. On the positive side, if she showed the same shrewdness in court, the prosecution didn’t stand a chance.

“Well, one thing that you should know about me Takayla,” Kathryn replied, meeting her eyes squarely, “is that I don’t give up easily either. I’ve always promised my crew that I would bring them home, and though in your brother’s case there’s been a slight delay, I still intend on keeping that promise.” She stood to her feet. “We should get to work. I brought the relevant regulations, as well as a few case files from other Maquis trials that I could get access to on short notice. I’ll go get them. We don’t have much time to prepare a defense.”

“Captain,” Takayla called just as Kathryn was about to go through the bulkhead. She stopped to look back at her. Her apprehension must have shown on her face, because Takayla stood to her feet, tugging on her fingers with uncharacteristic nervousness. “I know I can come off as…antagonistic… at times. It’s nothing personal, I just-…” She hesitated for a moment, as if she couldn’t quite put her emotions into words. But then she shook her head dismissively and the ensuing dimpled smile was strangely familiar. Her gaze was earnest and Kathryn relaxed for the first time since knowing her. “My brother is lucky to have you. Knowing him, he’s probably too thick-headed to realize just how much.”

Takayla's words rang a familiar bell in Kathryn's mind. She vaguely remembered saying similar words to B'Elanna a long time ago… She now knew exactly what B'Elanna had been trying to tell her then: it wasn't that Chakotay was lucky to have them, but the other way around. _They_ were the ones who were lucky to know him, and to call him a friend. She appreciated what it must have cost Takayla to say this, however, so Kathryn gave her a lopsided grin. “Drink up that tea, we have work to do.”

For the first time, Takayla’s answering grin was heartfelt and genuine, brightening her face and revealing how pretty she was when she smiled. For the first time, Kathryn thought that coming to get her might not have been such a bad idea after all.

oooOooo

 


	4. Chapter 4

Harry threw a furtive glance at the door to the captain’s ready room from where he stood at his tactical station. The captain and the commander had been in there for nearly two hours and had yet to resurface, not even for a peep.

“What do you think’s going on?” He asked out loud. “I’ve rarely seen the captain look so upset.”

“If and when whatever it is becomes our concern,” Tuvok replied calmly from his own console, “they will inform us. For now, I would suggest refraining from idle speculation and concentrating on your task.”

“We’re back in the Alpha Quadrant,” Tom countered from the helm, still basking from the glow of the novelty of fatherhood, “what could go wrong now that wouldn’t just feel like a walk in the park compared to some of the things we dealt with in the Delta Quadrant?”

Harry glared at him. “Tom, I swear, if you jinx us, I’m going to make you pay!”

Tom chuckled. “Yeah? And do what?”

“Gentlemen,” Tuvok admonished, “dangerously close to idle _speculation_.”

Harry sighed and returned to his analysis of the sensors.

oooOooo

“Well, are you ready?”

Chakotay took in a deep breath and straightened his uniform. His breath caught in his throat when Kathryn stepped closer to straighten the pip on his collar, her fingers accidentally touching the skin of his neck. The shiver that ran through him was beyond his control, and he made a point of staring straight ahead. When she was done, she stepped back to meet his eyes.

“As I’ll ever be,” he said on a long exhale, though the working of his jaw probably belied his anxiety.

Kathryn nodded, holding his gaze a second longer, before she stepped aside and moved to her desk. Over the last couple of hours, they had brainstormed about possible tactics, things he should mention in his surrender call, and rhetorical strategies to avoid. Once they had gone over every angle they could think of, they had both stood, as if by common accord that it was time.

Chakotay now followed her and stood behind her as she ordered a communication be opened with Admiral Andrew Larks, the Starfleet Justice Inquirer General.

It wasn’t the ancient, dull man that Chakotay had imagined who answered the call, but an outrageously young- and sleepy-looking aide.

“I need to speak with Admiral Larks,” Kathryn commanded without preamble.

“Captain, it’s the middle of the night, the admiral is asl-”

“Wake him up,” Kathryn countered ruthlessly. “Tell him Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay wish to speak with him. Right away.”

The aide sighed disapprovingly. “I’ll see what I can do. Please hold while I patch you through.”

The feed was interrupted for a moment and Chakotay glanced at the top of Kathryn’s head from where he stood behind her chair. “You know,” he started with a sarcastic half-smile, a mask to hide his actual agitation, “my odds of succeeding might have been higher if we hadn’t pulled the man responsible for my future freedom from the warmth of his bed.”

Kathryn threw him a wry grin of her own as she twisted around to glance up at him – it was tense and not altogether sincere, but they were still keeping up the appearance of normalcy, as if by tacit agreement. “On the contrary, this is all part of the plan. He’ll be too sleepy to know what hit him.”

He barely had time to acknowledge her rebuke before the feed activated again. Chakotay cleared his throat as he straightened, throwing back his shoulders and clasping his hands together behind his back.

“Well, Captain, this better be as good as my aide made it sound.” A man, relatively younger and rather more unremarkable than Chakotay had imagined, appeared on the screen: round faced, salt and pepper hair, eyes rather close together. Admiral Andrew Larks. The Justice Inquirer General.

Chakotay had never met him before, yet there was something in the admiral’s eye that had all of Chakotay’s instincts flaring up in warning. _He was not to be trusted._ The man’s expression betrayed his annoyance at being pulled from his bed, but it was the underlying eagerness and cunning in his eyes that had Chakotay’s insides coil uneasily. He recognized that kind of hungry look from having seen it too often on the battlefield, and his entire being suddenly revolted at the thought of giving in to _that_ man. He almost backed out right then, his fight or flight instinct swelling up in his gut. But he _had_ to see this through. For the others. He had no choice but to go through with the plan, and leave his freedom in this man’s hands.

“Admiral Larks,” Kathryn started, “I’m here in company of Commander Chakotay.”

“So I see.”

Chakotay stepped fully in front of the monitor, in so doing subtly getting Kathryn to step aside and away from view. “Admiral, my apologies for disturbing your sleep. But I thought you would want to hear me as soon as possible. Who knows,” he added with a quick smirk, “our talk might even sweeten your dreams for the rest of the night.”

Admiral Larks’ eyebrows rose in surprise, though it seemed to work to Chakotay’s advantage because he smirked in kind. “Well, I’m all ears.”

Kathryn’s eyes had widened at the taunt, a warning to be careful, but Chakotay kept his eyes focused on the monitor. “I’m here to discuss the conditions of my surrender.”

Larks chuckled humorlessly. “What makes you think you’re in any position to negotiate for anything, Chakotay?”

Larks’ lack of deference in addressing him wasn’t lost on either him or Kathryn, if he could judge by the way her expression turned into barely repressed affront.

“I know my intelligence file doesn’t quite do me justice,” Chakotay quipped with a furtive look at Kathryn – though he reminded himself that, as far as she knew, she had never uttered those words. “But still, I admit I’m a little insulted that you would think me _stupid_ , Admiral. We both know that Voyager is scheduled to return to Earth in less than two days. Our crew will be welcomed home by both the civilian population and Starfleet officers like the heroes that they are. It will be a celebration, a toast to Starfleet’s lofty ambitions as an institution. The admiralty really doesn’t want the bad publicity that would inevitably follow the arrest of a young woman who gave birth just a couple of days ago – the wife of Admiral Paris’ son, I might add – or all of those who have served Voyager and Captain Janeway in an exemplary fashion over the last seven years. So I think you’ll hear what I have to say. Admiral.”

No one appreciated being blackmailed, and Chakotay hated using the tactic, hated using B’Elanna’s situation to help his case, but it seemed to work. Larks narrowed his eyes but gestured for him to go on, albeit reluctantly. “Fine. Let’s hear it.”

“Actually it’s fairly simple. I have only one condition: I will surrender, effecting immediately, and await my trial without making a fuss, without causing any trouble for you or Starfleet. In exchange, all charges against the other former Maquis on Voyager will be dropped, and they will be allowed to retain the ranks that Captain Janeway has granted them, if they so desire. I’m sending you the list of those crewmen and women now. If you agree to those terms, you are going to sign it, here and now, so that Captain Janeway witnesses it as a legally binding document.”

Larks had his poker face on and it was impossible to know what he was thinking. All Chakotay could tell was that he seemed to debate Chakotay’s proposal, his fingers tapping restlessly but leisurely against the surface of his desk. After a few seconds that felt like an eternity, Larks gave a stern nod.

“I agree to your terms, Mr. Chakotay.”

Chakotay let out a silent sigh in relief, but he kept his expression neutral.

“Captain Janeway can attest to my applying my signature to your list,” the admiral added formally as he signed the document directly on the monitor it had been sent to.

“Thank you. Please return the signed document, so that Captain Janeway can have a copy. For her personal records, of course.”

The admiral threw him an annoyed glance, but pressed the necessary buttons on his console, and soon enough Kathryn’s console beeped with the incoming transmission.

“It’s done,” Larks stated as he carelessly tossed his pen onto his desk before he leaned back. “Captain, I trust you to abide by the conditions stipulated by Mr. Chakotay and strip him of whatever rank you had granted him when he joined your crew. When you get to Earth, a representative of my office will beam on board to escort Mr. Chakotay to our facility, where he will be detained for the duration of his trial. In the meantime, he is to be placed under arrest without bail. I leave it to you to decide the methods of said arrest.”

Chakotay took a step back, allowing Kathryn to return within the frame of the monitor. The scope of what he’d just done – what he’d just given up, what he was forcing Kathryn to do, suddenly hit him full force, burning a large hole in his heart, leaving him with an ashy taste in his mouth. He had to grit his teeth against the sudden nausea that rippled through him.

“I understand, Admiral,” Kathryn said softly.

Larks gave another, final nod, before cutting the feed.

Chakotay stood staring at the darkened monitor long after the man’s smirking face had disappeared, trying to come to grips with the consequences of the bargain he’d just struck. Even though he tried reminding himself that it was the right thing, that it was not over, that he could yet live as a free man if the trial took the right direction, right here right now, it all felt incredibly irrevocable. Final.

He was a prisoner. Voyager, the ship that had been his home, was now his prison; and Kathryn, his formidable captain and closest friend, his jailer.

But at least the others were free. That had to count for something.

“Well, then,” Kathryn said softly eventually, her whisper breaking the silence in the room.

Chakotay swallowed with difficulty as he turned to face her. It was obvious in her expression that she was struggling at least as much as he was to regain some composure. He cleared his throat. “Any last-minute requests for things you’d like me to do as your First Officer? Reprimand an unruly crewman, perhaps? Order Engineering to perform a comprehensive warp core diagnostic?” Though his tone was light, his heart was heavy, and he knew she wasn’t fooled.

She shook her head. “No. Tuvok will be more than able to take care of those.”

“Right.”

“But I want you to know that, for the other things – your friendship, your support… Well, in those things you’re irreplaceable to me. I can’t imagine finally returning to Earth, and not having you by my side out there,” she said with a nod towards the bridge. “You deserve that honor as much as anyone else on this ship, if not more so than most. And I’m deeply sorry, and ashamed, that Starfleet Command, that my peers, are too blind to their prejudices to see that right now. So I want you to know that I’ll do everything in my power to show them what a huge mistake they’re making, and to make sure that what I’m about to do is not permanent.”

Before he could respond, before he could tell her it had been a privilege to serve under her, she stepped closer and looked into his eyes. “Commander Chakotay, by order of the Starfleet Justice Inquirer General, I hereby strip you of your rank, and of all the privileges, honor, and virtues that are endowed therein.” She reached up and unclipped the pip off his collar, and Chakotay felt the small sound like a slap. “Furthermore, in accordance with the conditions of your surrender, you are confined to your quarters for the remainder of our journey, until a representative of the Justice Inquirer’s office escorts you to another facility.” She lowered her eyes and hung her head. “Dismissed.”

Chakotay swallowed with difficulty at the pain and shame that overtook him. He wasn’t ashamed of what he’d done, or even his past with the Maquis, but he _was_ ashamed of putting Kathryn through this.

After a moment, he shook himself and stepped around her toward the door. At least she hadn’t ordered him escorted by security or sent him to the brig, and he was grateful for the gesture, a sign of her trust in him.

“Chakotay.”

He stopped and half-turned to look back at her. She hadn’t moved from the spot and she was still staring at his pips in the palm of her hand. “What?”

“I’ll inform the crew now.”

“Right. Thank you. Can I ask for one favor?”

She looked up at that and gave a brief nod.

“I know you’ll find the right words to convey how much it pains me not to share the last leg of our journey with the crew, but… could you also tell them that I don’t want to be disturbed? I might no longer be a commander, but I still have my pride. And I couldn’t bear anyone’s pity right now.”

She shook her head. “If I know this crew, I doubt very much _pity_ is the feeling that's going to go around. I would say a healthy mix of outrage and compassion is more likely. I wouldn’t rule out a mutiny either, for letting you go through with this. But I’ll tell them.”

He wanted to smile at her quip, but he was physically incapable of it. The air of normalcy was now beyond his coping capabilities. So he gave her a nod instead. “Thank you.”

And on that, he walked out onto the bridge of Voyager for the last time.

oooOooo

Seven briskly made her way to the Captain’s quarters. In her final leg of its journey, Voyager was operating on its night crew, so Seven encountered few other crewmembers as she traveled the meandering corridors.

After Seven had first intercepted the images she believed were communications from Species 8472, she had returned to the alcove multiple times, but with no success at establishing a two-way communication. She had intercepted several more images, however, mostly a suite of cosmological phenomena: galaxies, star clusters, pulsars, exoplanets. Seven had quickly realized what it meant: it was a star chart. Though she had catalogued millions of stars in Astrometrics, the arrangement of those particular stellar phenomena had been unfamiliar to her. She had focused on them in order to imprint the map into her memory as to replicate it later and ask the computer to identify the location they appeared to display.

However several questions remained: why did Species 8472 send those out on a Borg frequency? Could it be possible that Axum, or part of his Resistance movement in the Beta Quadrant, had succeeded in enlisting Species 8472 and they were using the link to communicate about meeting coordinates?

Another possibility, as the Doctor had pointed out, was simply that Axum had failed, and that Species 8472 had merely coopted the frequency that the Collective had used for their neurolink. But to what end? As a telepathic species, Species 8472 had no use of such communication. Moreover, this hypothesis made little sense when considering the voices Seven had heard. They had spoken in speech patterns typical of humanoid life forms — that was what had made her believe she had heard the Resistance in the first place.

She had spent the last several hours working with Icheb on improving the transceiver in an attempt to make the device create a feedback signal that would not only increase its reach, but also allow them to triangulate where it was exactly that the bulk of the communications originated from. They’d had mixed degrees of success.

After several hours, she had relieved the Doctor of his monitoring duty, and had sent Icheb to his regeneration alcove. Seven was reluctant to regenerate herself. While she would not admit it, she dreaded the moment she would be left alone with her thoughts. So she had decided to alert the captain of her progress instead.

She chimed the doorbell to the captain’s quarters. It took several seconds before it opened, and for a moment Seven worried that the captain had been sleeping. However when the door opened, the captain appeared fully awake, despite the robe that suggested she was dressed for the night.

“Forgive the intrusion, Captain.”

Surprise, and a small amount of apprehension, registered on the captain’s expression. “Seven! Is there something I can do for you?”

“I have something I need to speak with you about. It is rather important.”

“Well then, come in. Would you like some tea? Coffee?”

Seven followed her in and went to stand in the lounging area. In one sweep of the room, she immediately noticed several PADDs scattered on every surface, and many more on the small coffee table in the lounging area. “No, you are busy, I will not stay long.”

Captain Janeway gave her a glance as she went to grab a cup she had left on the coffee table. “I’ve been looking through old Maquis files,” she explained before she sat herself down on the sofa with a sigh and crossed her legs. “Have you seen Chakotay?” She asked before taking a sip from what Seven assumed was some form of caffeinated beverage. Unwise if the captain wished to find any sleep.

Seven inhaled, unconsciously squaring her shoulders as she did so. “Only briefly. He asked to be left alone.”

Seven had learned of Chakotay’s arrest with the rest of the crew: through the captain’s ship-wide announcement. _Dear friends, believe me when I stress how much I regret tainting our joyous return home with bad news,_ the captain had said _. However, I must inform you that, as of oh-five-hundred this morning, Mr. Chakotay has turned himself in to the Starfleet Justice Inquirer’s Office in response to an outstanding warrant for his arrest. Chakotay is to stand trial for his past actions as a Maquis when we reach Earth. This is a shock to us all, but he asks me to tell you how much he regrets not having the joy of joining you in the final leg of our journey…_

Confused and surprised in equal measure, Seven had looked up from the console and exchanged a startled look with the Doctor. “Go!” He’d told her.

After asking the computer for Chakotay’s location, Seven had made her way to his quarters – not realizing at the time that they served the function of the brig – more concerned about this unforeseen circumstance than she cared to admit. The presence of two security officers posted outside his room increased her concern. However, Chakotay had barely opened the door before he had told her that he wished to be left alone. Instead of wasting her time with him, he had said, she should keep working on her own project, and leave him to deal with this himself. This had done little to help her understand his motivations for his surrender, but she had granted his wish.

But now the captain’s gaze shot to her in surprise before her expression lapsed into something akin to sympathy. “Well, I’m sure he just needs some time to come to grips with the situation himself.”

“Perhaps.” Seven exhaled. “I confess I am uncertain as to what I must do. I don’t know what he expects of me.”

Captain Janeway gave a sigh, which, accompanied by the slight tilt of her head, was meant to be sympathetic. “I’m sure he only expects you to understand. And to give him the space he needs.”

“But how can I understand if he will not speak to me?” She snapped, almost surprising herself with the strength of her anger. She had kept it carefully compartmentalized until now. “His actions are more like those of a Borg drone than a human; what good is individuality if he is to sacrifice his individuality for this… Maquis… collective? For a collective that no longer exists, even?”

The captain frowned, and, irritated with herself for this outburst, Seven inhaled and straightened. “But that’s irrelevant. It’s not what I came to speak to you about.”

The captain’s frown deepened, but she nodded. “What is it?”

“Earlier today I made my first attempt at connecting to the Collective frequency through our version of Admiral Janeway’s synaptic transceiver.”

The captain stood to her feet, looking suddenly wary of Seven’s results. “And?”

“I have picked up some… activity. However the transceiver is not powerful enough for me to ascertain the specific nature of the communications. I believe, however, that the signal may originate from the Resistance movement that we started within Unimatrix 0.”

“The Resistance? What makes you say that?”

“The voices… they were… discordant. Not of one mind.”

“I see.”

“There is more.”

“I’m listening.”

“I believe Species 8472 is involved.”

“How?”

“I am uncertain. But, Captain, when I last connected with Unimatrix 0, my…friend, Axum, mentioned that he would try to gain aid from Species 8472. I believe he may have succeeded.”

Captain Janeway gave her a skeptical, warning glance. “I hate to say it, Seven, but how can you be sure that this is not just wishful thinking? Or some malfunction? The integration of the technology with the alcove may be flawed, and-”

“Captain,” Seven interrupted, “it is not wishful thinking. Over the last few hours I have connected multiple times with the link. And though I have not been able to decipher the signal or to communicate, what I have experienced is real. And if this is indeed the Resistance, I consider it my duty to find them, and assist them in defeating the Borg once and for all.”

The surprise in Janeway’s expression quickly shifted into a more neutral expression. She started pacing. “If we were still in the Delta Quadrant, I wouldn’t think twice about giving you all the resources you need to dig deeper. But now that we’re back in Federation territory, I can’t just go where I please, or do what I want without first discussing it with my superiors.”

“I had not considered that. It must be cumbersome for you.”

The captain brushed this aside with a gesture of her hand, and went on. “Besides, even if I wanted to deploy Voyager for this, right now I’m duty-bound to deliver Chakotay to Earth for his trial. And it wouldn't be fair to the crew either, to snatch Earth away when it’s finally within their reach.”

Seven heard the veiled reprimand and acknowledged it, feeling duly chastised. “Of course.”

“But,” the captain went on, “I promise I’ll discuss your discovery with Starfleet Command. In the meantime, I authorize you to pursue this experiment, and gather additional data on whoever is at the end of the line.”

Seven frowned in confusion. “What line are you referring to?”

The captain almost smiled. “An old Earth technology joke. You should ask Tom to tell you all about 20th-century telephones, one day.”

“I will.”

Seven turned to leave but Janeway stopped her just before she reached the door. “Seven? About Chakotay…”

Seven half-turned to face her.

Her expression was sympathetic again. “Just give it time.”

Seven steeled herself. “We will reach Earth in a matter of hours. There is no time left to give.” She let out a frustrated sigh. “Captain, I… I am aware that what Chakotay has done is honorable. A part of me admires him for it, for the selflessness he has demonstrated. And yet…” She sighed again. “And yet… I can’t help but feel…”

“Angry?” The captain suggested when Seven struggled.

She raised her chin. “Disappointed.”

The captain frowned in aggravation as she studied Seven’s expression. After a moment she nodded. “Keep me posted on your progress.”

With a quick nod, Seven opened the door, and walked out.

oooOooo

Ensign Mea Tagashi was running late for work. This morning had been a succession of one small catastrophe after another, the latest of which had completely ruined her uniform just as she was about to leave for her shift. She’d had to change quickly, and so it was with unusual edginess that she entered the Justice Inquirer General building, and took the turbolift to her office on the top floor.

She had barely set foot into her office when her combadge came to life. "Ensign Tagashi to Admiral Larks’ office."

Mea startled and looked at the time again — she was only late by a few minutes, how could he possibly know? And more to the point, why would the Justice Inquirer General himself care? Straightening her uniform and squaring her shoulders, she did as was instructed. She met with the admiral's aide on the way, Ensign Mike Montmorency, who handed her a PADD before he ushered her in.

“Stay in the back until told otherwise,” he’d told her in a whisper before he’d all but pushed her in.

Since she had been assigned as a representative of this office several months ago, it wasn’t the first time that Mea had entered this room, yet she was still struck by the grand austerity of it. Admiral Larks was sitting at his desk by the large window offering an unequaled view of the San Francisco skyline and Bay. He was engaged in a conversation with a younger Starfleet officer, whom Mea recognized as Captain Stedvak, the admiral’s son. There were quite a few rumors as to why they did not share the same surname; apparently the reality was almost too simple to satisfy conspiracy theorists, namely that Stedvak was Larks’ stepson. This was further evidenced by the lack of phenotypic resemblance between the two men: where the stepfather was dark-haired (though it was increasingly salt-and-pepper), the son was of slightly lighter coloring with a mop of curly hair; where the father was round of face and body, the son was tall and slender. Even though she had often crossed paths with the admiral’s son, she didn’t know much about him, except that he had recently been promoted to the rank of captain. But had yet to be assigned to a ship. Mea tried not to pay attention to gossip, but apparently this lack of command had ruffled the admiral’s feathers so much that he had had to beg the admiralty to give his son a chance.

They were now in the middle of a hushed but animated conversation, so Mea tried to make herself as small as possible while she observed them from under her eyelashes.

At last the admiral dismissed Captain Stedvak, who exited the room with an expression that Mea could only characterize as one of eagerness.

"Ensign Tagashi, come in. I have an assignment for you."

Mea walked forward and stood in front of the desk to take the PADD he was handing out to her.

"You may have heard, Voyager is returning to us at last."

"Yes, sir." In fact, Mea had avidly followed the news thread about Voyager’s adventures since they had made contact with Starfleet, a few years before. She had been absolutely thrilled when she had learned that they had finally made it back to the Alpha Quadrant. Her aunt Sulak had often reprimanded her enthusiasm, but to think of everything that Voyager’s crew had seen, all of the different species they had encountered…! What she wouldn’t give to meet the crew and walk through those bulkheads!

“They have on board a Maquis renegade called Chakotay,” Admiral Larks continued, “who has officially surrendered himself to this office. He is currently confined on Voyager. Your assignment is to retrieve him as soon as Voyager arrives at the orbital docking station, and to bring him into custody."

Mea stared for a long second. Given her lack of field experience, this was wholly unexpected and, with the amount of respect she had for the Voyager crew, it was strange to be sent on an errand that would antagonize those she admired. What a twisted way to get her wish granted! Her feelings had never come into conflict with her duty before. _Your human emotions will be your demise, Mea!_ Her aunt’s voice in her head reminded her. "Yes, sir."

"Take two security officers with you. You never know how these bloodthirsty brutes of Maquis are going to react. He gave me his word that he wouldn’t make any trouble, but I’d be a fool to trust a self-proclaimed Maquis, wouldn't you agree?"

"Um," Mea hesitated, more than uncomfortable with the language the admiral was using. His question was apparently rhetorical, however, as he didn’t wait for her response.

"If we’re lucky, he will be the last of their kind we ever have to deal with," he went on. Mea couldn’t quite tell if the admiral actually believed the rhetoric he was spouting. One thing was for sure, though, she was instantly suspicious of such unbridled derision. And horrified that a Starfleet officer, the _Justice Inquirer General,_ could talk of people in such a way to a junior officer. From what she understood, the Maquis had been desperate and angry, but nothing that would warrant this level of disdain, especially from a Starfleet officer.

"You have your orders, Ensign. All the details are on the PADD. Dismissed."

Mea gave a curt nod and exited the office. She blew out a sigh as she returned to her own office. From a young age, her father had taught her to follow her instinct and pay close attention to behavioral cues and physiological details, and she had noticed the same strange eagerness in the admiral’s demeanor that she had witnessed in his son, like a cat getting ready to pounce on the proverbial canary. But why her assignment to retrieve Mr. Chakotay procured them both such glee, she couldn’t quite understand.

She would, though. She would.

oooOooo

 


	5. Interlude

In the backroom of the shuttle, Kathryn tried to focus on the writing on her PADD. While on any other day she would have little trouble getting through the jargon-filled Federation legislation, at the moment she just could not focus.

Takayla didn’t appear to have this problem. She was leaning against her elbow, distractedly running her index finger along her temple as she read, dark brows furrowed. The resemblance struck Kathryn again. It wasn’t in the shape of her features, but in the overall expressions, the tiny little facial movements that spoke of a shared household as much as it did of a shared ancestry.

This observation inevitably led Kathryn’s thoughts to Chakotay, who was at this very moment sitting in his cell in the Justice Inquirer General’s building at Starfleet Command. What was he thinking about? Did he regret his decision to turn himself in? The demand for his arrest and his decision to surrender to help the others had certainly hit _her_ hard. That was a euphemism: it had completely turned her homecoming upside down. She didn’t blame him for it – neither of them had truly prepared for that eventuality because they’d always believed they would have years to prepare. Not hours.

So, for someone who had fulfilled the most impossible of missions – getting Voyager back to the Alpha Quadrant – Kathryn had had a rather terrible time of the first few days after their return to Sector 001.

To begin with, their escape from the Borg had left her exhausted, raw and emotional. And once the reality of it had started to sink in, the initial sense of relief and exhilaration had soon become tainted with a strange guilt over the sacrifice of her older alter ego. Not only was it a peculiar thing to face one’s mortality and future in the way she had, but Admiral Janeway’s words about Chakotay and Seven had echoed in her mind long after she had uttered them, like the broken record she had heard in a museum once. _Her husband._ Could it be true? It had sounded so preposterous at the time, and yet, it had been that improbability that had worried Kathryn. No one could have made this up. No, it had to be true. She had known that the only way the song would stop is if she actually confronted it. In other words, if she spoke to Chakotay about it.

But it had only been hours later, amidst the first improvised celebrations on board, that she’d found the courage to broach the subject with Chakotay. For a few minutes, his thoughtful present of a replica pocket watch, and the pleasure he’d expressed at giving it to her, had seemed to belie her suspicions. But still, she’d had to know. She’d apprehended the conversation with a degree that had surprised even her. It had been a tense and awkward (but luckily, short) conversation.

The party had been in full swing in the mess hall, and they had just finished a round of toasts to their safe return and to the crew, when she and Chakotay had somehow converged together at an empty table. Kathryn had found her moment.

_"I haven't seen Seven around this evening_ ," she'd asked innocently as she’d made a point of looking around the room.

Chakotay had taken a sip from his glass. _"No, me neither. My guess is she's working on her alcove."_

Kathryn had nodded knowingly _. "Ah yes, she's told me all about her new project to tap into what’s left of the Collective’s neurolink."_ After a moment of her fiddling with the rim of her glass, she’d dived in. _"We’ve never seriously talked about it. Chakotay, what are_ your _plans for the future?"_

Chakotay had shaken his head, his smile still reflecting the daze that they had all found themselves in upon their return. _"I hardly know. I guess I'll have to see what my options are first."_

_"I rather thought you’d want to join Seven in her quest to hunt down the rest of the Collective!"_ She'd made sure that her tone was light, teasing and small-talk quality. But her voice had cracked slightly despite her best attempt, and Chakotay’s eyes had flickered to her briefly before he cast down his gaze.

After a second of his staring into his glass, as if the bubbles there would inspire him to find the right words, he’d cleared his throat and met her eyes. _"Well, I can't say that we've planned that far ahead but… I suppose it is a possibility."_

‘We’…

Kathryn had felt the blood drain from her face as it had dawned on her: Admiral Janeway had been right. How in the world had she not seen the signs? How he'd been dodging their meals together lately, how he'd suddenly always had other plans… Kathryn had been unable to do anything except stare at him, stunned and breathless, as if she'd been punched in the stomach. _"So it's true, then. You two are…"_ She'd faltered, physically unable to say the words.

Chakotay had taken in a deep breath, but met her eyes directly. _"We're dating, yes."_

She'd had to look away then, surprised at the depth of the pain that descended on her heart. And wanting nothing else but to hide it from him. From herself. _"I see."_

She'd almost laughed derisively when he said, with genuine confusion: _"I see this upsets you. Why?"_

Kathryn had closed her eyes against the sting, and forced a smile to her face. When she'd turned towards him again, she felt somewhat in control. She'd taken a sip from her glass and given a small shrug. _"Oh, no I'm just… surprised. And concerned as your captain. I wouldn't want either of you to get hurt."_

She couldn't tell him the truth, not when she had barely just realized it herself. Not now that she was apparently too late. What was that saying again? _You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone?_ She’d never realized how true it was until that very moment.

So she'd hid behind her rank. Just like she always did.

It had only been hours later, when Kathryn was alone in her quarters and finding solace in a warm bath, that she could finally stop hiding how much the truth had hurt. And it had hurt with an intensity she had not expected. She wanted to be happy for them – that’s what a true friend would feel – but, as much as she’d tried to wrap her head around the idea of _them_ , she couldn’t find it in her heart to overcome the surprise and the shock. And she felt betrayed. She had no right to, not after she’d spent the last seven years drawing a clear line between herself and Chakotay, but despite her every attempt at rationalizing her emotions, the pain that still rippled through her at times was stark and visceral, beyond her control.

And not too long after that, she’d gotten the communiqué from Starfleet about the Maquis, and Chakotay had sacrificed himself to save them. And he’d been placed under arrest. _By her orders._

The crew’s reaction had been as expected: outrage at the injustice, anger at Chakotay for taking on this burden upon himself, and in some cases anger at Kathryn herself for letting him do it. She had struggled to keep her composure as crewmember after crewmember (and in particular the former Maquis) had stopped by her ready room to make a formal complaint, but she couldn’t blame them for their reactions. In fact, she had been just as heartbroken and angry as the rest of them. No matter how much of a brave face she had put up to convince him that it wasn't over, to get him to hope that not all was lost, on the inside she’d felt adrift, as if she’d lost her tether. Her anchor.

Because every time she had pictured their homecoming, Chakotay had been standing by her in the tableau, in one way or another. She couldn’t imagine going through Voyager’s return home without him, or accept the changes that would befall them all without his sound advice and steadfast companionship. His absence on the bridge had already left a large vacuum, and Kathryn had more than once turned to tell him something only to find Tuvok in his seat. And though she was extremely fond of Tuvok, his sense of humor left a lot to be desired compared to Chakotay’s...

But the truth was, she just couldn’t imagine a future without Chakotay by her side.

And suddenly she had lost him twice over: first to Seven, and then to Starfleet.

But that’s also when she had vowed to herself that she would do everything in her power to help him; plead, grovel, bargain. Whatever it took to get him out of this mess, and to allow him to lead the life he deserved, with the person he wanted to spend it with, no matter how painful his choice might be for her.

Takayla straightened and stretched her neck, bringing Kathryn out of her reverie. Kathryn stood to her feet to get them both some coffee refills.

“How long have you been practicing law, Takayla?” Kathryn asked conversationally. They could both use a little break – and Kathryn definitely needed a break from her thoughts.

Takayla threw Kathryn a crooked smile. “My father would probably say all my life – I was one of those kids who was always policing around, and ratting out the cheaters. _Born with a gavel,_ my father always used to say. Let’s just say the other kids weren’t too keen on hanging out with me.”

Kathryn smiled at the image.

“My brother,” Takayla pressed on as she rose to her feet to join Kathryn by the replicator, “he would always protect me. Even when I snitched on him. We had very different aspirations, he and I, and we often butted heads. I dreamed of justice; he dreamed of freedom – including being free from the rules and customs of our people. We made an unsolvable philosophical paradox for our parents, who just wanted us to dream of happiness.” She trailed off, her expression losing its focus, becoming distant. Lightyears away.

“At least you fulfilled _your_ dreams,” Kathryn said eventually and Takayla returned her attention to the present moment.

“I suppose I have. Even though the older I get, the more I understand that what our parents wanted for us was infinitely worthier and more precious. I learned that the hard way,” she added more quietly. She shook herself and raised her cup in thanks. “I’m going to go check up on Nim.”

oooOooo

 


	6. Chapter 6

“Ah-koo-chee-moya. As we travel closer to the bones of my ancestors, I seek the wisdom of my father so that it may help me find the strength and courage to face the darkness and uncertainty that await me. Speak to me, Father. Speak to me in my dreams.”

Eyes closed, mind focused and sharp, Chakotay suddenly felt transported from the carpeted floor of his quarters to the rocky ground of Ah-ka-ee Mo-ah-te, the bluff overlooking his mother’s home that his people called “The Hawk’s Wing.” The sunset casted its orange light all around Chakotay as he sat, cross-legged, on top of the bluff, a warm and fragrant breeze brushing against his skin. The illusion was so realistic, he suddenly felt a deep longing to physically experience those things. The familiar view of his childhood home was breathtaking. The breeze swayed the grass and grains below like waves, and the air smelled earthy and peppery. Chakotay felt calmness settle over him as if the soft breeze against his skin covered him with a blanket of peace. It was ironic that as a youth all he had ever wanted was to get away from it all.

“Well, son, you find yourself in a fine pickle.”

Chakotay’s head snapped to his right and he smiled softly when he found Kolopak sitting next to him, smiling fondly at him.

Chakotay replied in kind. He was always moved when he felt this connection with his father's spirit. “I admit, I’m not quite sure how to get out of this one, Father.” He sighed. “I told Kathryn I was ready to fight in court, and I _am_ willing to face the consequences of my actions, but what I haven’t told anyone is that… it scares me, Father.”

“Well, you have much to lose, and therefore much to fear. Our people have always fought to keep our independence and our freedom. You would not be our son if you didn’t balk at the thought of losing the futures you have been dreaming of. Of losing that very freedom to dream.”

“But what should I do? Where can I find the strength to face what is coming?”

Kolopak considered this for a moment, recasting his gaze toward the setting sun. “It seems to me you already know the answer: trust your instincts.”

“I think you might have more confidence in my instincts than I do at the moment. You show your bias old man.”

Kolopak responded to Chakotay’s taunt with a teasing smile. “Well, that’s what fathers do. My advice, Son, is this: if you find your confidence wavering, draw from the confidence that those around you have in you. Let them share your burden. Do not think that you can do this alone. Because the one who stands alone will only reap failure.”

Chakotay sighed. As a youth those clichés had always made him roll his eyes. But now he forced himself to pay close attention. Was Kolopak referring to his reluctance to let Kathryn help him? Because if he’d listened to himself, he’d have rather left them all out of it, to spare them the trouble and the pain. He would rather take it all upon his shoulders, and allow them the happy ending they deserved, than to ask them to share this burden. In fact, that was the whole point of his surrender. But when Kathryn Janeway set her mind to something, he might as soon try to move a mountain than try to change her mind.

“I have a second piece of advice,” Kolopak continued, interrupting Chakotay’s thoughts. “You ask me where to find the strength to face what awaits you. Find the strength _here_ ,” he added with a broad gesture encompassing the valley and house below, “in the place you were born. Look. Listen.”

“What should I listen for?”

Kolopak gave a mysterious smile and patted Chakotay’s shoulder gently. “You’ll know it when you hear it.”

Chakotay redirected his gaze to the valley and sunset, instinctively knowing that the image of his father’s spirit had vanished as suddenly as it had appeared. There was a sound coming from below, from the house: laughter, a child’s laughter, light as a bell, but it was being superseded by another insisting sound, one that his corporeal senses were picking up.

He knew he was losing the vision, so he focused on the direction of the laughter, and, far below, near the house, he saw a young girl running along with an older boy. He would know that young girl anywhere. He remembered the day she was born, so small in their mother’s arms. He’d been a boy of 10, yet even then he’d felt this indescribable need to protect her from the world. But why would his father show Takayla to him now? What role was she to play in this chapter of his story?

The other sound made itself more insistent in his conscious mind, and he forced himself to come back, to leave the vision and return to the bleak reality of his quarters. He suddenly felt his limbs, the blood pumping through his veins and could hear his heart beat. He felt calmer than before, though his father’s cryptic comments had been more confusing than anything else.

At last the other sound – the door chime, he now realized – rang again. Chakotay sighed before standing to his feet to open the door. He’d already had to turn Seven and a few others away — admittedly not without some guilt. He’d never realized until then how often people actually disobeyed the captain’s orders.

This time it was B’Elanna who stood on the other side of the door, a familiar look of determination and indignation in her eyes, looking a little tired but otherwise recovered from her giving birth to her daughter. He let out a long sigh, bracing himself for an outburst. “B’Elanna, I thought I’d made myself clear: I don’t want to be disturbed.”

B’Elanna held his gaze, arms crossed over her chest. “Oh you’ve made yourself perfectly clear. But I’m not going to let you wallow in self-pity. You’ve been at it for hours already. It’s enough.”

“B’Elanna-”

His warning fell on deaf ears as she physically pushed her way past him. “Look, Chakotay, I didn’t actually come here to tell you what a big mistake you’re making.”

Chakotay frowned tiredly as he followed her back inside, and picked up his bundle and other items from the floor. “Really,” he replied skeptically.

“No. Even though you _are_ making a mistake. A big one. But actually, I came here to tell you… well, thank you. For doing what you did for me. For Miral. For all of us.”

Chakotay’s eyes shot to her. How had she…?

“The captain told me about the deal you made,” she explained. “So, I just wanted to say that I’m grateful. Among other things,” she added with a glare that told him anger might well be what she was really feeling at that moment.

Chakotay straightened and sent her a look. “Thank you for saying so. But you shouldn’t feel like you owe me anything. It was my duty, as your former captain. I only did what I had to do.”

“Bullshit.”

Chakotay rubbed his forehead tiredly again. He wasn’t in the mood for a fight. He let himself lean back against the desk and crossed his arms.

“Chakotay, this whole situation, it’s so… unfair! And it makes me so…very… _angry_!” She went on, cranking herself up even as she spoke, and Chakotay nodded to himself. _There_ was the outburst. “What are you going to do about it?”

“What do you mean?”

“How are you going to fight it? Have you and the captain come up with a defense strategy?”

“We’ve discussed some options, but… nothing concrete yet.” The vision he had just experienced, about his sister and his childhood home, flashed through his mind. “I wonder…” Chakotay started, the words coming out of his mouth before he realized that he did not want to talk about it yet.

There was, of course, no chance in hell that B’Elanna would let it go. “What?” She slowly went to stand next to him, imitating his position.

“Before you came in, I went on a vision quest and saw my father. He showed me my sister, when she was a little girl.”

B’Elanna’s frown mirrored his. “What do you think it means?”

“I don’t know. It can’t be a coincidence, given Takayla’s choice of a profession.”

B’Elanna’s expression brightened. “That’s right! You’re thinking of asking her to represent you?”

“I don’t know. It’s the only way I can think of to interpret my vision. But we didn’t exactly part on good terms. We exchanged some messages over the last couple of years, but I’m not sure she ever forgave me for what happened to-"

Kathryn’s voice over the ship-wide communication interrupted him. “Attention all personnel, this is Captain Janeway speaking. There’s quite a sight to be seen ahead of us. I suggest you find a window and take it in. We’re home.”

Chakotay exchanged a look with B’Elanna, who reached out to squeeze his forearm briefly. Even though he would probably be able to see Earth if he leaned into the window of his quarters, Chakotay had no wish to do so at the moment, and B’Elanna seemed to understand.

“You should go,” he told her. “Go celebrate with Tom and your daughter. I’m sure the representative of the Inquirer’s office will be here soon to escort me anyway. I should finish packing the rest of my things before they get here.”

B’Elanna’s gaze stayed on his face for a moment longer, until at last she nodded and stood to her feet. “Don’t give up, Chakotay. You did this for us, we’ll fight for you. This is not over.”

With one final nod, she turned on her heels and walked to the door. The sound of cheers and celebrations drifted from the corridors when the door slid open to let B’Elanna through, and Chakotay nodded to himself. They’d made it.

_You did it, Kathryn_.

The door slid closed, muffling out the cheers until it was just him and the quiet of his quarters.

oooOooo

The search engine in Astrometrics was functioning at full capacity, yet Seven could not help but betray her impatience with a sigh. The computer had so far narrowed down the possibilities of the star chart she had seen in Species 8472’s thoughts to the Beta Quadrant, but this Seven had already suspected, given her intuition that Axum was somehow involved in this. She longed for a more definitive result. At the moment the computer was working on narrowing down the possibilities even further, but the task was rendered more difficult by the Federation’s patchy star charts of that quadrant. There was nothing Seven could do but wait. The captain had requested her presence on the bridge for the final approach to the Earth’s orbital docking station, but Seven found herself reluctant to leave her current post. In any case she still had several minutes before she would have to go.

She found that patience was a virtue she had little of. Icheb was still working on improving the transceiver on her alcove, and Seven was grateful for his relentless commitment. Like Seven, he seemed to show little curiosity about the planet Earth.

_“Are you not curious to see this Earth that everyone has been so eager to return to?_ ” Seven had asked him earlier.

Icheb had given a small shrug. _“I have studied the planet and all of its geophysical attributes in depth from the Astrometrics lab, so I do not feel like I need to see it. I would rather continue working on this project while I can.”_

_“What do you mean, while you can?”_ Seven had asked with sudden apprehension.

_“I mean before I officially leave Voyager to transfer to the Academy.”_

Seven’s smile had faltered but she’d attempted not to let her sudden rush of emotions betray her. _“Of course. Very well. Carry on.”_

Admittedly the realization that Icheb would soon be leaving for Earth himself had struck Seven harder than she had anticipated. Voyager’s return home had certainly brought little comfort to her. Instead, it seemed to take away all those she had grown to care about, and made the future she had never truly contemplated remarkably bleak.

_What are you really running away from?_

Unbidden, her mind went back to the conversation she’d had with the Doctor just as she was leaving to come to the Astrometrics Lab.

_“Why are you in such a hurry?”_ He had asked.

_“I don’t understand.”_

_“I mean, why are you so determined to make contact with the Resistance right now? What are you running away from?”_

Seven had stood a little taller, trying to ignore the unease that the question prompted. _“I do not see what you mean. Making contact with the Resistance would provide us with the necessary intelligence to plan our next action against the Borg.”_

The Doctor had been annoyingly persistent _. “But as far as we know, the Borg are not hot on our heels, and the nearest ones are probably millions of lightyears away. It’s rather unlikely that Starfleet will want to go out looking for them, unless they become a real threat again. So, I’m back to my original question: what are you really running from?”_

Seven frowned when she caught his meaning. _“You believe my… urgency… arises from Chakotay’s situation. You are wrong.”_

_“Am I? Seven, you will have to learn to deal with this. Running away is not going to make you feel better.”_

Seven had drawn in an annoyed breath. _“Whatever I may be feeling about Chakotay's actions, it is irrelevant to my current enterprise, I assure you. Why would it not be? It’s now clear to me that we were ill-suited.”_

The Doctor had nodded triumphantly, and Seven suspected she had been manipulated into admitting emotions she’d had no desire to acknowledge, even to herself.

_“Whereas someone like Mr. Axum,”_ he had completed for her, _“a Borg drone with whom you had a connection for years, would be much better suited for you.”_

_“Your words, Doctor.”_

As much as she hated to admit it, some of the Doctor’s assumptions had been correct; not those about Chakotay, but about Axum. When she had first heard the voices over the neurolink, and realized that it might well be the Resistance, her thoughts – and, figuratively, her heart – had immediately jumped to thoughts of her…friend…from Unimatrix 0, and of the way she had felt in his presence. Exhilarated, happy…Alive. The thought of actually reconnecting with him was powerful, insistent. So much so that it felt as though the need burned a metaphorical hole in her stomach.

As much as she cared for Chakotay, she realized now that she could never quite relate to him, or even desire him, in the same way. It appeared that the circumstances – his arrest, her experiment with the alcove, Voyager’s return to Earth – would send them on different paths from now on. Though it saddened her, the pain was shallow and easily processed.

“Seven.”

Seven startled out of her thoughts and turned to find Commander Tuvok standing at the entrance of the lab, a PADD in his hand.

“Commander,” she greeted as Tuvok stepped closer. “Are you here on behalf of the captain? If so it is unnecessary, I was about to go to the bridge.”

“No,” he replied as he stepped next to the holographic projections while the computer performed the algorithms Seven had programed. “I’m here to ask about your regeneration alcoves. I am in the process of preparing Voyager for our arrival, and all of the crew’s personal effects are ready to transfer, with the exception of yours. Have you given some thought as to where and how the alcoves will be moved?”

Seven kept her eyes on the projections. “No. For now there is no point in it, since I suspect I will be leaving again soon.”

She felt Tuvok’s assessing gaze on her face but she kept her attention on the console. “The captain has informed me of your plan to join the Borg Resistance if you succeed in locating them. It is a bold plan. Though it is risky, I can see a certain logic in it.”

Seven threw him a glance. There was little point in telling him that logic had in fact little to do with her motives in this case, even though she had refused to admit it at first. It was instinct, and longing. Two sentiments she wouldn’t have comprehended just a few years ago. “Hopefully Starfleet Command will as well.”

He raised an eyebrow. “It is my experience that Starfleet Command would have difficulty letting such an opportunity to defeat the Borg pass by. However,” he countered calmly, “such travel would likely entail a long-term expedition, and after what Voyager has gone through, there are some among Starfleet who might be reluctant to undertake such an endeavor. Captain Janeway included. You must realize what you would be asking of such a crew. Especially if you were hoping that _Voyager_ would be deployed.”

Seven was aware, so she let out a small sigh. “Yes. That is why I am willing to set out on my own, if necessary.”

“I see. You would be missed.”

She looked at him, surprised at the compliment. She and Tuvok had interacted but little of late, but she had always felt an affinity toward him, and his ideals of logic and rational thought. When she had first been separated from the Collective, _he_ had made the most sense to her. “Thank you.”

He gave a curt nod and started stepping away. Just as he was about to leave, the computer beeped with its result at last, and Tuvok retraced his steps, as if conditioned to pay attention to the sound.

“We have a location,” Seven stated as she stared at the projections and used the console to zoom in to the area of the galaxy it pointed to.

Tuvok studied it carefully for a moment. "That area of the Beta Quadrant is not well known by the Federation. And it _is_ a long way from Earth.”

Seven nodded as she input the data to calculate how long it would take for a warp-capable vessel to reach the area. Her heart sank as if filled with heavy stones instead of biological tissue and blood. “It would take approximately 45 years to reach it.”

“By that time any battle that is now raging will likely be long terminated.”

“Yes,” Seven agreed as she swallowed the sudden constriction she felt in her throat.

“Inform me should you reconsider transferring the alcoves,” Tuvok said before he left.

Seven stood for a moment, staring at the star map, feeling uncharacteristically and momentarily discouraged. 45 years…

With one last look at the map, Seven turned on her heels and made her way to the bridge.

oooOooo

Ensign Mea Tagashi stared up at the monitor, all too aware of the curious technicians gathered behind her. Contrary to herself, who had been ordered here to plan for her transport to Voyager, _they_ had taken a moment off from their duty in order to watch remotely as the starship completed its docking procedures to Earth’s orbital station. Voyager was impressive, and Mea couldn’t stop her heart from pounding in trepidation. She was ordered to board the ship as soon as possible, so she forced herself not to let the onlookers’ excitement rattle her. She had a job to do.

The lieutenant at the console met her eyes and Mea nodded. He opened communication with the ship. After a moment, he looked back at her.

“You have a go, Ensign.”

Mea nodded formally before gesturing to her security officers to follow her to the transporter room. The transfer went smoothly, and seconds later, Mea found herself standing on Voyager’s transporter platform. The room looked like the others Mea had seen over the course of her short career, but she couldn’t help but look around slowly, trying to commit all of the tiniest details to her memory.

Just as they were all about to step down, a woman stepped into the room. Even if Mea had missed the pips on her collar, there could be no mistaking the authority in the way she held herself. Captain Janeway.

“Ensign,” the captain greeted with a nod. Her tone was not particularly amicable, but it wasn’t hostile either.

Mea remembered her manners and gave a formal nod. “Captain Janeway, I’m Ensign Tagashi. I’m here to escort Mr. Chakotay to the Starfleet Justice Inquirer General’s Office.”

“I’m aware,” the captain replied, pursing her lips unhappily for a moment. “I’ll take you to him.”

They walked in silence for a moment, and Mea was glad of the opportunity to take in her surroundings. Eventually, she reminded herself why she was here, and returned her attention to her companion. “Captain, please know that I take absolutely no pleasure in doing this. I have a tremendous respect for you and your crew." She knew saying such a thing was not appropriate, but she couldn’t _not_ say it, not when she was _here,_ on Voyager.

The captain threw her a surprised glance. "I appreciate you saying so, Ensign."

Mea gave her a rueful look. "That said, I _am_ under orders to collect all of the prisoner’s logs and reports."

The captain sighed. “I expected as much. You’ll have access to it all. We have nothing to…” Both her words and her steps faltered when they came around a corner, and found dozens of crewmembers gathered there, lining the walls in a never-ending queue. Mea noticed a couple with a small baby, a tall blonde woman with a Borg implant – the infamous Seven of Nine – and a couple more dozens of uniforms. They just stood quietly. Watching, waiting. Mea noticed the security officers reaching for their phasers at the sight, but she stopped them with her hand. These people were here to pay their respect, she realized, not to start a mob.

The captain blinked quickly before she chimed the door to their left. A man she recognized as Mr. Chakotay, the one she was here for, was standing on the other side, ready. He met the captain’s eyes first, briefly, before he purposefully shifted his gaze to Mea’s.

“I’m ready,” he said. He was wearing civilian clothing, and Mea’s first impression was that he had nothing of the thoughtless brutes described by her superior.

“Are you aware of your rights, Mr. Chakotay?” Mea asked, as per usual, as she handcuffed his wrists.

“I am,” he confirmed.

Mea nodded and gestured for him to precede her. The two security officers flanked his sides.

As soon as he fully stepped out of his quarters and he noticed the crowd, he stopped and swallowed with apparent difficulty. Mea noticed how he glanced askance at the captain, but she moved her head in a gesture that was halfway between a shrug and a headshake. Mea was touched by the crew’s gesture, and Mr. Chakotay’s reaction, but she felt the nervousness build up in the security officers, so she quietly urged him to keep going from where she stood behind him. The last thing she wanted was for this to degenerate into a violent situation.

He took in a deep breath, then started walking. He suddenly stopped again when he was just barely past the woman Mea had identified as Seven of Nine. His stopping was so sudden, Mea almost collided with his back. He tipped his head in the woman’s direction, not quite meeting her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Seven of Nine barely moved. “As am I.”

“Sir, we need to keep going,” Mea instructed quietly, but with a level of authority that surprised even her.

Chakotay seemed to hesitate for one second before he started walking again. Mea herself had to swallow the rise of emotion in her throat as crewmember after crewmember gave a formal nod as Chakotay passed them by. He held his chin high, and when they finally made it back to the transporter room, he stepped onto the platform without delay. She had never seen anything of the kind, and she wondered about this crew, and what they had gone through together. Only the most extreme of perils and circumstances could have fostered such a sense of loyalty.

Mea mentally sighed in relief when she followed him up the transporter platform at last, and took the spot next to him. From here, she couldn’t help but witness the intense look that passed between the prisoner and Captain Janeway, who had followed them all the way here.

Even as Mea said “Energize,” their gaze didn’t break, but just before the transporter activated, Chakotay gave a small nod.

And then they were gone.

oooOooo

Seven decided to use the time before the crew would disembark to the docking station to regenerate, thereby firmly shutting out the sudden helplessness that had filled her mind at Chakotay’s heartfelt _I’m sorry_. It had been difficult to see him taken away in such a fashion. She had sensed her sorrow and indignation had been shared by every member of the crew present – Lieutenant Torres, Tom Paris, Ensign Kim, even Captain Janeway – and it had been difficult to stand idly by while their friend was taken away. Adding to this her discovery of the Resistance’s far-away location, it was enough to challenge even her usual cool-headedness.

As she made her way to the alcoves, she was acutely aware of the bustling energy on board as the crew now readied themselves to transfer down to the docking station, in time for the (first of likely several) welcoming celebrations. A short quarantine on the station was apparently a necessary step before the crew could meet their loved ones on the surface, and Starfleet Command had proposed a celebration to help quench the crew’s impatience. But once the quarantine would be lifted, Seven might very well end up being the only one on Voyager. She felt a foreboding emptiness at the thought. Was this loneliness to be her sole companion for the next 45 years, if she decided to go ahead with her plan?

She stepped into her alcove and immediately relaxed into her regeneration cycle. No – not regeneration, the synaptic transceiver took over before she could recall that it was still connected to her alcove. She could pull out, but she decided to try it one last time before truly regenerating.

She focused on the connection, and soon enough she could hear far-away voices, many speaking over the others, as if there were multiple conversations occurring at the same time. It reminded Seven of the mess hall at lunch time.

One voice caught her attention. Not because of the voice, but because of the words.

It was speaking her name. Her human name.

“Annika…” It called faintly, “Annika is that you?”

Seven startled, so much so that she almost broke the neurolink, but she composed herself before this could happen. While it had been just over a year since she had heard his voice, she could recognize his inflection, and the way he said her name. _Axum_. How was it possible that he’d found her? Detected her?

“I am Annika. State your designation,” she replied within her mind, deciding that the need for cautiousness outgrew her desire to communicate with him.

“It _is_ you!” the voice, which sounded extraordinarily like his, seemed relieved, awed. “Korok said he had glimpsed your mind previously, but I hardly dared to-”

“State your designation,” Seven repeated sternly in an attempt to dampen the swelling sensation of hope in her ribcage.

“You don’t remember me… I am Axum.”

Seven let out a breath. “I remember you, Axum,” she replied, her voice softer.

Axum let out a small burst of laughter. “I hardly believe it… How…?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Seven replied, her reluctance to trust his voice fading with each passing second. It could only be him! “I was not aware that I could be detected on this frequency.”

“Honestly, I’m not certain… But we’ve been sending out signals to the area of the galaxy you call the Alpha Quadrant for some time now, hoping that one day you would make it there and hear us.”

“I heard you,” she whispered.

She could almost picture his smile. “There’s so much I want to tell you, Annika! But I feel the link loosening.”

Seven felt a rising panic in her chest as she realized that he spoke the truth. No, not yet! “Yes, I have only been able to sustain the link for a few minutes at a time so far.”

“The Resistance, Annika, I was successful, because of you! I am no longer Borg. You must join us!” He entreated quickly as his voice became fainter.

“How?” Seven almost shouted out loud, determined to reach him across the vastness of space.

“Species 8472, they have a way to-”

The connection was terminated and Seven almost stumbled out of her alcove with the suddenness of it. She was breathing fast, and she could feel her heart pounding within her chest. The helplessness within her had metamorphosed into a powerful longing, a tugging of her veins, to reconnect. The force it exerted was relentless. She took a moment to compose herself, and then she went back, all thoughts of regeneration forgotten.

She connected easily. “Axum?” She asked as soon as she was back.

“Annika!” He sounded relieved, and Seven wished that Unimatrix 0 had not been destroyed, if only to see his face.

“We don’t have much time. What about Species 8472?”

“They have a way of traveling across space in the fraction of what it takes for a starship. Even faster than the Borg transwarp. We have been using their help in coordinating our efforts and to find Borg cubes.”

“How?”

“It’s hard to explain… they are accessing an alternative dimension. Outside of our known space-time.”

Seven frowned. She had heard of such things theorized, but had never experienced anything of the kind herself. However, Species 8472 lived in a fluidic space, parallel to their own, so it was theoretically possible that they could manipulate space-time as humans understood it. Her own personal aversion for this species made her particularly doubtful, and yet, she had witnessed for herself how they had appeared to communicate with the Resistance with mind-images.

“It’s easier if they show you…” Axum replied, and Seven tensed. “Don’t be scared. Open your mind, Annika, and let them show you.”

oooOooo


	7. Interlude

Takayla and Kathryn had been at it for a few hours, both reading from their respective PADDs and exchanging ideas here and there. Throughout this process, Chakotay, of course, remained on the back of Kathryn’s mind – a reminder of what she was doing this for, a driving force, a symbol of what regret truly looked like.

She was starting to feel a headache build behind her eyes, and for a moment she gave in and leaned back to rub her temples. Her lack of decent sleep over the last few days (weeks? months? years?) was starting to catch up to her. As if finally liberated from constraint, her mind immediately jumped back to the day Chakotay had been arrested.

After Chakotay had been transported down to the surface, it had taken a moment before Kathryn could regroup and fight the helpless tears that had started to pool in her eyes. Standing in the transporter room, she had stared into the empty space that Chakotay had occupied only seconds before for a long moment, until she’d forced herself not to let her imagination picture him as he was taken away to a cell, or forced to change into a prison uniform. She’d shaken herself, and had asked Tuvok to meet her in her ready room.

When Kathryn reached the bridge, Tuvok had been in the middle of briefing three of his security officers on the disembarking safety protocols. Kathryn had met his eyes and he gave a brief nod, before finishing his conversation and following Kathryn into her ready room. Once inside he’d waited for her to speak with his typical patient expression.

Kathryn had walked to her desk and back toward Tuvok again, crossing her arms over her chest as she paced distractedly. _“As my newly appointed First Officer – and my friend – I need to ask something of you, Tuvok.”_

_“If it is in my power, I will gladly do it, Captain. As I’m sure you know.”_

Kathryn had nodded, still feeling rattled by the recent events. She’d forced herself to get her act together _. “I know you’ve asked for some personal leave in order to go see your family, and get treatment for your condition.”_

_“Indeed,”_ he’d nodded, his expression as expectant as a Vulcan could display.

Kathryn had nodded again. _“I’m aware I’m asking a lot, Tuvok, but I was hoping that you would be willing to postpone this trip for a week or so.”_

_“May I ask for what purpose?”_

Kathryn had moved again, as if she was unable to think while standing still. As if her emotions would catch up to her if she stopped moving. Tuvok had followed her quietly with his eyes. _“I need you to look after Voyager and the crew while I take care of this mess.”_

His frown had deepened, but there had been no need for him to ask what mess she was talking about. _“As you wish, Captain.”_

_“Thank you.”_ She’d walked to sit at her desk and leaned back to look up at him. _“I’ve put in a request for personal leave for a few weeks, and it’s been granted. So your priority is to make sure that the crew’s return to Earth goes smoothly why I get to the bottom of Chakotay’s arrest.”_

_“I will gladly do so, Captain.”_

Kathryn had studied him for a moment. He still hadn’t moved from his original spot, patiently waiting. Because in the course of all these years working with her, he knew better than (almost) anyone when she had something weighing on her mind. He knew better than to assume her silence meant he was dismissed. _“What do you make of all this, Tuvok? Of Chakotay’s surrender?”_ She’d asked at last. She’d been curious to hear his opinion, to hear how a purely logical being would analyze this whole situation.

He’d considered it for a moment. _“While I am not surprised that Starfleet took action against the Maquis, I confess I was caught off guard by the severity of the charges against them – it seems exaggerated in light of the time elapsed since those crewmembers were Maquis. That is not to say, however, that I don’t understand the need for Starfleet to demonstrate that militia and vigilantes are not an appropriate response to conflict.”_

Kathryn had stared at him. _“Do you really believe that?”_

Tuvok had raised an eyebrow. “ _I’m rather surprised that you no longer seem to, Captain.”_

Kathryn had sprung to her feet again and stepped around her desk to walk closer _. “You’re right, I used to believe that. I still do. But the case of the Maquis feels different… Now that I know Chakotay and the others, I can understand why they acted the way they did. Why Chakotay joined in the first place. Who are we to condemn a man for defending his home?”_

Tuvok had tilted his head. _“Forgive me for saying so, Captain, but Chakotay has always been aware that there would be consequences for his actions, should he ever get caught.”_ He gave a small sigh. _“That said, it does not follow that I personally wish it so. Even when I served on his ship under false pretense, I quickly recognized in him a man of both honor and principle. My admiration for such qualities has only grown since.”_

Kathryn had given a wry smile. _“High praise indeed, coming from you.”_ Her smiled had faded as she returned to the task at hand. _“Thank you, Commander. I’ll inform the docking station officers that they should refer to you about unloading Voyager and all other logistical issues.”_

While in the past her conversations with Tuvok had always helped her gain a clearer understanding of any given issues, in this case it had done nothing to reassure her. Instead, it had troubled her. It had made it starkly clear to her that her emotions came in the way of her judgment where the Maquis, and particularly Chakotay, were concerned.

This, she reminded herself, was why captains avoided close personal relationships with members of their crew.

The irony wasn’t lost on her – she had spent years ignoring the tug she felt every time Chakotay smiled at her, convincing herself that she only felt friendship, that he could never trouble her in that way (despite numerous signs to the contrary). And yet here she was: as emotionally entangled and confused as if they’d had a torrid affair from day one. If she had known that this was where she would end up, with her having all the feelings but none of the rewards of a relationship, would she have taken a chance with him after she’d received Mark’s letter letting her know he had gotten married? The letter that had set her free from their engagement?

She could still recall Chakotay’s expression, that day she had told him about Mark’s letter and how she’d been using her fiancé as a safety net not to get involved with anyone else. _You don’t have that safety net anymore,_ Chakotay had told her _. You’re hardly alone, and to my way of thinking, there’s still plenty of time._ Had he been talking about himself? Had she been that willfully oblivious to his signaling? He might as well have jumped up and down and screamed “I am here!” and she would probably have missed it, so convinced was she that a relationship with him was out of the realm of possibility.

Kathryn was engrossed with these troubling thoughts when Tom and Nimkotay walked into the cargo hold on the shuttle. The two of them were carrying trays with various food items. The distraction was more than welcome and Kathryn smiled.

“We thought you might be hungry,” Nimkotay said with a quick glance at Tom, and Kathryn’s smile brightened at the seriousness on his face, and Tom’s approving nod. Clearly, the boy took his responsibility of being Tom’s assistant very seriously.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, gentlemen, I’m starving!” Kathryn exclaimed as she and Takayla moved their files to make room for Tom and Nim – and their trays.

“So am I,” Takayla added as she ruffled Nim’s hair, “thank you.”

“How is your copilot doing on his first day, Tom?” Kathryn asked with a teasing smile in Nim’s direction as they all grabbed their plates and settled to eat.

“Fantastic!” Tom replied with a boyish grin of his own. He was going to be a great father, Kathryn thought as she watched the conspiratorial glance he exchanged with Nim. “He’s made himself so useful, you might just have to give him an officer’s commission right here and now, Captain!”

Nim chuckled with glee and though his mother smiled with the rest of them, Kathryn noticed the way Takayla tensed at the thought of her son as a Starfleet officer. Kathryn wished she knew where Takayla’s mistrust came from, if only to assuage some of her animosity – was it because of Starfleet’s role in the establishment of the Cardassian treaty? Or did she have other reasons to dislike Starfleet?

Even though Kathryn herself had some doubts about the integrity of _some_ people within the institution at the moment, she still believed in Starfleet itself, in the values of unity and discovery that it strove for. It was hard to understand sometimes how anyone could not want to pursue such ideals.

“What’s our ETA, Tom?” Kathryn asked to change the subject.

“I’d say we have another 6-7 hours to go. How are things going here?”

Kathryn looked at Takayla. In truth Kathryn had been so distracted that she’d been of little help.

“I’m still playing catch-up reviewing the Federation legislation relevant to this case, but I’m working on it,” Takayla replied, her brows furrowed together. “Actually,” she said as she turned to Kathryn, “after we’re done eating, I'd like to take a look at the testimonies of the former Maquis in your crew, the ones you said you compiled when Starfleet asked you about them. I'll need to be as familiar with them as with the regulations, since they'll help me decide whom to call as witnesses."

“Who are you thinking of calling to the stand?” Tom asked. “I’d be happy to testify, if you need me. Chakotay and I might not have gotten along at first, but I’ve grown to respect him over the years. And we both had very different ideas of what it meant to be a Maquis. I joined because I was a selfish brat bent on self-destruction. He joined because he’s just too damn honorable for his own good.”

Takayla nodded as she chewed on her food, her lips twitching upward briefly. “Thank you, Tom. I appreciate your offer, I’ll give it some thought. For now the only one I know for certain I’ll want to call, aside from you, Captain, is B’Elanna.”

Tom leaned in curiously. “How _do_ you know B’Elanna?”

"She was one of Chakotay's first recruits, we met on a few occasions, when Chak organized training sessions on my home planet," Takayla replied.

After Kathryn exchanged a quick glance with Tom, she took up the obvious follow-up question. "Were _you_ ever a Maquis, then?"

Takayla huffed a humorless chuckle. "No."

"Why not?" Tom asked curiously.

Her brows furrowed together and she raised her chin defiantly, much like she had when Kathryn had first met her. Kathryn was starting to recognize the gesture as a form of defense mechanism. "It cost me too many people I cared about."

Kathryn watched her closely. “And there is nothing just or fair in a conflict like the Cardassian war,” she stated and Takayla’s gaze shot to her. As if she was surprised that someone like Kathryn could understand her.

“Precisely.”

A beeping sound from the communications console in the main compartment distracted them and Kathryn gestured for Tom to remain seated as she rose to her feet to go answer it. She went to sit at the helm to open the communication.

It was a live audio feed. “Captain Janeway,” Admiral Hayes’s voice greeted after she answered, “please forgive the intrusion, I know you’re on an errand of a… personal… nature,” he said cryptically, though he knew full well where Kathryn was, since she’d had to ask Starfleet permission to use a shuttle for this trip. The admiral had not been particularly surprised when she’d told him of her plan to get a legal representative from Chakotay’s home planet, since he was the one who had given her the idea in the first place.

The conversation had happened a few hours after Voyager’s docking to the orbital station. Kathryn had marched into Admiral Hayes’ temporary ready room. He had been expecting her.

_“Captain Janeway, Kathryn, welcome ho-”_

_“We need to talk, Admiral,”_ Kathryn had said as the door slid closed behind her.

Admiral Hayes had raised a surprised eyebrow only for one or two seconds before he sighed. _“I assume you want to talk about that First Officer of yours, Chakotay.”_

_“You know I am!”_

_“Take a seat, Kathryn.”_ The suggestion was polite, but the tone had brooked no argument.

Kathryn had hesitated for a short moment, but then sat down and rubbed her forehead. _“I apologize, sir, you know I mean no disrespect toward you. But this… this is preposterous! I can’t just stand by and see a good officer get dragged down in the mud, or worse, get sentenced to life in prison!”_

Hayes looked empathetic. _“I understand. Your loyalty does you credit, Captain. Coffee? Tea? Something stronger, perhaps?”_ He suggested, his tone facetious.

Kathryn had shaken her head, feeling suddenly bone tired. Deflated. Not even caffeine would be helpful at this point.

_“From what I understand, Kathryn,”_ Admiral Hayes had started as he poured himself some coffee before he returned behind his desk, _“Mr. Chakotay turned himself in.”_

_“Yes, but only because he saw it as the only way to keep the others from getting arrested as well. He’s made no confession.”_ Though Kathryn had no doubt that, if asked, Chakotay would tell the truth: that he had joined the Maquis because that’s what had felt right, and that he still felt like it had been the right thing to do. This was why his arrest was so dangerous, and why it came down to her to make sure he didn’t throw his life away on principle.

Admiral Hayes had frowned as he took a sip from his cup. _“Don’t take me wrong, Captain, I think what he did is admirable, and I’m sorry to see an officer of his caliber stripped of rank. But you know as well as I do that Starfleet is in a delicate situation where the Maquis are concerned. They threatened the stability of the treaty, and as such, the Federation considers those individuals who left to join the movement as traitors. There’s no statute of limitation on treason.”_

Kathryn had nodded dejectedly, but then frowned. _“I’ve been wondering about this… Where did the push to uphold the warrant originate? After all, it wouldn’t have been out of the realm of possibility to grant official pardons to the former Maquis on my crew – to me, they were pardoned the moment we joined forces. So where did the push for court martial come from?”_

The admiral had considered it. “ _Well, to be honest I’m not entirely sure. It was voted upon by the admiralty as part of a larger session regarding the demilitarized zone, but I don’t know who put it on the agenda. It wasn’t a unanimous vote, but it was a majority vote.”_

_“I see.”_

Hayes had frowned in consideration. _“But now that you mention it, I_ was _rather surprised that the motion passed. From what I had gathered from discussing with my peers before the vote took place, those in favor of pardoning the Maquis on Voyager should have had the majority. Most of us shared your sentiment. So I’m not certain what happened. Though I suppose it is possible that some changed their minds during the discussion.”_

Kathryn had nodded, taking in this information. What could have swayed those votes? She could still recall Admiral Larks’ gleeful expression at the thought of arresting Chakotay. What kind of power did that man have? _“What can you tell me about Admiral Larks?”_

Hayes had given a small sigh before taking another sip from his mug. _“I don’t know him well, but I understand him to be competent as a Justice Inquirer General.”_

_“How tempting it would be to make a ‘JIG’ joke, right now,”_ Kathryn had interjected with a cynical eyebrow raise.

Hayes had let out a brief, acknowledging chuckle. _“I’m told he’s generally competent, but he’s been no friend to the Maquis.”_

Kathryn’s eyes had narrowed at this. _“Why? Some personal ties to the conflict?”_

Hayes had shaken his head. _“That’s information I don’t have.”_

Kathryn had decided then that she would have to look into this. Maybe she could delegate. No doubt B’Elanna would be willing to help.

_“Could he be behind vote? Could he have pushed for it to be on the agenda?”_ She’d pressed.

Hayes had frowned. _“I suppose he could, he does have influence among the admiralty. And it would be within his jurisdiction to pursue the Maquis, especially those with a Starfleet background. But pardon my asking, Captain, but what difference does it make? The result is the same: your officer will have to stand trial.”_

Kathryn had sighed as she sank back into the chair. _“I know._ _But Chakotay doesn’t deserve to be imprisoned, or sent to a penal colony, or whatever sentence a judge will decide on a whim! He’s a decent man, kind, wise and spiritual, and I couldn’t-”_ She’d stopped herself when she realized the Admiral was staring at her with newfound interest. A knowing glint in his eyes.

Kathryn had felt a rush of blood to her cheeks as she realized how passionately she had defended Chakotay just then.

_“I appreciate what you’re saying, Kathryn.”_ He’d sighed. _“I’ve read most of your logs over the past year, and I’ve read all of the good deeds you mentioned in my earlier request for information on the Maquis in your crew. I agree with you. But it’s out of my hands.”_

Of course she understood that, and yet she just couldn’t shake the feeling that the JIG, Admiral Larks, was not to be trusted. But maybe she was just being paranoid. She’d cleared her throat and stood to her feet. _“Well, I thank you for your time, Admiral. I apologize again for barging in.”_

Hayes had nodded, eyes still watching her carefully. _“Captain,”_ he stopped her when she was about to leave the room. _“Wasn’t there another matter you wanted to discuss? Your communication mentioned something about the Borg?”_

Kathryn had closed her eyes. How could she have forgotten about her promise to Seven that she would vouch for her project? _“Right.”_ She’d spun back around and returned to her seat.

_“Before we get into that,”_ Hayes had said as he moved to sit in the chair next to hers, leaning forward to better look at her. _“Larks is the one who will be assigning a legal representative to defend Mr. Chakotay.”_

_“Yes…?”_

_“I’m merely pointing out that it is within Chakotay’s right to provide his own counselor. Should the one provided prove unsuitable.”_

Kathryn’s eyes had widened in understanding. _“Thank you, Admiral.”_

_“Now, about those Borg…”_

The rest of the meeting had been about Seven’s project, but the admiral’s counsel had stuck in her mind, and she was grateful for his input. So now she smiled as she replied to his audio greeting. “That’s quite alright, Admiral,” Kathryn said. “I’m on my way back to Earth now. What can I do for you?”

“Well, your return is excellent timing! I think you’ll like what I have to say: I’m calling to discuss promotions.”

Kathryn blinked in surprise and shifted in her seat with newfound interest. “Promotions!” With everything that was happening, promotions had been relegated way to the back of her mind, but this was a happy distraction from everything else. And a healthy reminder of the good that returning home would bring. For the last few days, she’d been elbow deep in the negative.

“That’s right. Now, you’ve made some recommendations in your final report, and I wanted to let you know that five of those promotions will be granted over the next few days, and the six others will be awarded over the course of the next few months, as things settle down.”

“That’s wonderful news, Admiral!” Her pride in her crew swelled in her chest and she grinned, even though the admiral’s call was audio only, and he couldn’t see her reaction.

“The admiralty has been discussing organizing a special ceremony to not only promote those five officers, but also as a way to celebrate your crew’s safe return and, of course, honor the memory of those who did not return with you.”

“That sounds like a lovely idea, Admiral,” Kathryn replied.

“There is one more person we would like to promote on this occasion – one deserving officer that is not on your list.”

Kathryn frowned curiously. “Who? Of course I’m willing to consider anyone I might have overlooked.” Had she missed anyone? Of course she probably had – so many members of her crew were deserving, but she’d had to make choices and-

“I’m talking about _you_ , Kathryn.”

Kathryn blinked, stunned into speechlessness.

“Captain Janeway, are you still there?”

This shook her out of her surprise. “Yes, I’m here. Admiral, are you… forgive me, is Starfleet Command offering me a promotion to Rear Admiral?”

“We are.” He sighed when she fell silent again. “I know you’re an explorer right down to your bones, Kathryn, you take after your father that way, but the admiralty feels that over the last seven years you have demonstrated time and time again what a capable and resourceful officer you are. The truth is we could use someone like you in the admiralty, and on the Council for Exploration.”

Kathryn took a second to let this sink in. She was flattered and thrilled, of course, but another part of her was skeptical, and uneasy about considering a promotion when, just a few days before, she’d stripped her closest friend of his rank on behalf of Starfleet. “Forgive my skepticism, Admiral, I’m grateful for the admiralty’s consideration, but, isn’t the timing of this offer a little… off?”

“I’m not sure what you mean, Kathryn, but if it will reassure you, let me say that the simple fact is: the admiralty just needs someone with your leadership skills and your experience. Someone who’s not afraid to do what’s right, and to think outside the box in order to do it.”

Kathryn nodded to herself as she considered it. “Thank you, Admiral. I’m flattered, but-”

“Just think on it for a few days, Kathryn.”

“Alright, I can do that. Thank you, Admiral.”

“Why don’t we discuss this over some coffee when you get back? Nothing formal, but it would give me an opportunity to answer any questions you might have about the promotion. And we can discuss the plans for the celebration then as well.”

“Of course, I’d be happy to.”

“Very well. Let’s plan on meeting when you get back, then. Safe travels, Captain, and I will see you soon.”

Kathryn nodded and stared into space as thoughts rushed through her mind. “Thanks,” she replied distractedly, not realizing that the communication had already been ended a few moments before.

oooOooo


	8. Chapter 8

Seven paced the space in front of the Borg alcoves impatiently, wondering what was taking the captain so long.

She was still reeling from everything she had learned from Axum and Species 8472, and she was impatient to transmit her knowledge to the captain. Seven had summoned her over an hour ago, and had had to find various tasks to keep herself occupied while she waited. Luckily, the ongoing processing of Voyager had provided her with the task of helping some of the crew inventory the contents of the cargo bays. Neelix had left many things behind, including food items, and Seven could not help but feel a pang at the thought of her friend. His absence had left a strange void.

At last Captain Janeway turned the corner and walked into Cargo Bay Two. “Well, Seven, I’m here, what have you got?” She asked as she came to an abrupt halt at the main alcove console, carrying with her a wisp of air.

“Thank you for coming, Captain, I realize this is a busy time for you.” The process of transferring the crew to the docking station was already underway, and Janeway herself had just returned from the docking station where she had met with Admiral Hayes and some other Starfleet officials.

“What is it?” The captain pressed with an acknowledging nod. She appeared out of breath and distracted, as if she had somewhere else she would rather be. Seven had an intuition that the somewhere in question was the Justice Inquirer General brig.

“I am happy to report that I have made contact with the Borg Resistance.”

The captain huffed out a breath in surprise. “You have? You’re certain it was the Resistance?”

“The modifications Icheb and I have made to the transceiver were successful.” Seven frowned. “I am still uncertain as to how it happened. However, I have made contact with Axum.”

The captain’s brows rose, and Seven couldn’t tell if it was from amusement, doubt or apprehension. “Axum,” she repeated.

“From Unimatrix 0.”

The captain nodded almost imperceptibly. “I remember him.” She leaned her elbows on the console with unfeigned curiosity. “What did he say?”

Seven related the bulk of her conversation with Axum, ignoring the captain’s knowing expression, but quickly moved on to what she had learned from her telepathic connection with a member of Species 8472. “They have shown me how they can manipulate our space-time to transport matter from one location to another. However, the process is taxing of their resources and energy, and they have strict stipulations regarding when and how this process is to be used. According to Axum, and my own telepathic exchange with a member of Species 8472, they are willing to make use of this technology for us if Starfleet is willing to join the fight against the Borg Collective. A show of good faith, as it were.”

The captain raised a sarcastic eyebrow. “Couldn’t Species 8472 have told us they had this ability when we last met? It would have saved us the spectacular headache of dealing with a version of myself from the future.”

“As I said, the process is taxing and they have strict policies-”

Janeway raised her hand to stop her as she nodded. “I heard you.”

“Doesn’t this improve our odds of a successful endeavor?” Seven prompted. “More importantly, it would mean that a starship could travel there and back in an instant, ridding Starfleet of the issues surrounding launching another long-term expedition.”

Janeway pushed herself off of the console. “True. Well, Seven, you have done a remarkable thing here. I’ll inform the admiralty of this new development – when I spoke to Hayes earlier he was interested in meeting with you to discuss some options. I’m sure this will only increase Starfleet Command’s interest. I’ll keep you posted about a time for this meeting.”

On that she spun on her heels and left, and Seven stared after her for several seconds, stunned that she would leave it at that. The conversation felt unfinished, and yet the captain was already turning around the corner.

Seven walked after Janeway and caught up in the corridor. "Captain!"

Janeway paused and turned on her heels. "Was there something else?"

Seven frowned. "I don’t understand. You have always been eager to help the Resistance before. Why aren't you more eager now? Now that we actually have a chance at defeating the Borg once and for all?"

Janeway shook her head apologetically as she retraced her steps to shorten the distance between them. "I'm sorry, Seven, I think what you're trying to achieve is truly remarkable. But the truth is, I'm not the one you need to convince anymore."

Seven’s frown deepened. "Perhaps not. However your opinion matters to me regardless."

The captain's expression softened, and she reached out to touch her upper arm. "I'm excited for you, Seven, I know you shared a special connection with the drones from Unimatrix 0, and I know how important this mission is for you. But it would be irresponsible of me to set out on a new, possibly long-term journey, now. In fact, I’ve just been granted some personal leave.”

Seven frowned. “How long will you be away?”

“I don’t know. Two to four weeks, probably. However long it takes to help Chakotay out of this mess.”

“I see.”

The captain gave her an apologetic smile before pulling back her hand and stepping away.

"Captain!” Seven called again, with an intuition about the motives behind the captain’s desire to stay near Earth. “When you see him, tell Chakotay that… Tell him that I wish him well."

Janeway’s expression was one of guarded curiosity. "How do you know that's where I'm going?"

"A reasonable assumption.”

Janeway gave a small smile, though there was an emotion behind it that Seven could not quite decipher. "I'll tell him."

Seven gave a nod, and returned to her alcove.

ooooOoooo

The temporary cell Chakotay had been assigned was just slightly larger than Voyager’s brig. Most of the small space was taken up by the bed, a small desk and a chair. Luckily the lavatory was enclosed within its own small room, and included a sonic shower. His cell was surrounded by three others, but they were all empty.

Too bad, he told himself wryly, he’d been looking forward to conversing with some fellow criminals.

Chakotay had only been in there five hours twenty-two minutes so far, but he was already going stir crazy. He found himself pacing restlessly (he could cross from one side of the room to the other in four steps, he’d found), unable to stop himself from wondering what his crewmates and friends were doing at that exact moment. He had heard something about some kind of welcoming celebration aboard the docking station, so he assumed most of them were there, marveling at the fact that Kathryn had truly seen them through and brought them home.

What was she doing right now, he wondered? Was she toasting the crew’s safe return with Starfleet’s finest? She certainly deserved it, the recognition, the reward of seeing her crew safe and happy. She had never given up, and he admired her all the more for it. He found genuine (if somewhat bittersweet) pleasure in picturing them celebrating, making plans for the future. Such thoughts helped remind him that he had truly done the right thing by bargaining away his freedom for the others.

Had Seven been able to interface her alcove with the synaptic transceiver at last? Part of him felt guilty for not giving her any kind of explanation for his actions. She deserved better than to be brushed aside, but hopefully one day she would see that it was for the best. He was only doing what was best for them both, even if that meant breaking his promise to her.

What did that say about his commitment to her that he’d let her go so easily, at the first hint of difficulty, while he couldn’t bring himself to do the same for Kathryn? Somehow it didn’t seem fair, to either of them.

His first instinct had been to keep Kathryn at bay too – to not let her partake in his shame, for her own good, much like he’d done with Seven. And yet, Kathryn would not leave, even when given the chance. He wasn't sure if it was her personal strand of stubbornness, her Starfleet values that no one should be left behind, or their friendship that made her refuse to let him go, but he was touched and annoyed in equal measure by her refusal to let him deal with this on his own.

He couldn’t help but compare her stubborn determination to stick by him no matter what, with Seven’s apparent indifference. It wasn’t fair to compare – he knew Seven was anything but indifferent – and he reprimanded himself for doing so. But at the same time, a part of him was relieved, because it was unequivocal proof that what he and Seven had felt for each other had not been love. Or at least, not the kind he aspired to, or wished for Seven.

The hissing of the cellblock’s door sliding open caught Chakotay’s ear, and soon enough the young ensign who had escorted him off Voyager appeared on the other side of the force field that closed off Chakotay’s cell.

“Mr. Chakotay,” Ensign Tagashi greeted, her voice kind in spite of her solemn bearing, “can I get you anything while you wait for your legal representative? They should be here soon.”

Chakotay studied her. She was young, but her calm demeanor made her look older, wiser. It was subtle, but it looked to him as though she might have some Vulcan heritage. He wondered if one had to have a special ability to control one’s emotions to work for the Justice Inquirer General. “No, thanks.”

“Have you been told about what to expect while you await your trial?”

“Yeah.” Meals three times a day, scheduled meetings with a legal representative provided by Starfleet and one hour of exercise every day. He could write and send messages whenever he wanted to if he so desired. He didn’t. Though he supposed he’d have to tell Takayla eventually.

“Very well,” Ensign Tagashi replied as she took her turn observing him. Just as she was about to turn on her heels, she stopped herself, and looked at him curiously. “Can I ask you something, sir?"

Chakotay wondered whether her 'sir' was the Starfleet kind, used to address a senior officer, or the polite kind, used to address a stranger. Either way he was surprised by the amount of respect she infused into the word. "Of course. Hopefully I can answer."

"What made you decide to join Captain Janeway's crew, all those years ago?"

Chakotay couldn't help staring at her in surprise. Apparently she knew about Voyager's history, and that told him she took her duty seriously enough to go beyond her assignments. He looked at her with renewed interest.

"Instinct. With a little help from my spirit guide. And,” he added with a crooked smile, “a little help from Captain Janeway. She can be rather persuasive." He smiled sadly to himself as he remembered those early days, how easily she had charmed him with her determination, her childlike enthusiasm for scientific discoveries, and her fairness when it came to dealing with his crew. Especially after she had recognized B’Elanna’s value as an engineer.

Tagashi nodded as she studied him a while longer. "Do you regret it? Would you rather have kept your ship if you could have?"

Chakotay put his hands on his hips out of habit. "No. I don’t regret my actions that day. And even if I did, I’ve always found it more useful to think in terms of George Bernard Shaw’s philosophy: ‘We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.’ Wouldn’t you agree?"

She considered it solemnly for a moment before she gave a nod. “I would.”

“Actually, Ensign, there is one thing you could get me, if the offer still stands,” he said after a moment.

“Yes?”

“Some books would be appreciated.”

“Books?”

He gave a small smile. “To read. I need something to do or I’ll go out of my mind.”

“Oh yes, of course. I’ll see what I can do.” She gave a curt, embarrassed nod, and left the way she came.

Chakotay sat down on his bed with a sigh. Having nothing else to do, he lay down on his back to stare at the ceiling. It was a bland grey, just as colorless as everything else Starfleet minds ever decorated. _Couldn’t Starfleet have come up with something more cheerful?_ _Like polka dots?_ He smiled sadly at the recollection before he let his thoughts return to his comrades and friends, trying to picture what they must be doing. Kathryn in particular was a recurring star in his thoughts. It was like the silence of his cell continually spoke of her, taunting him with questions and regrets.

“A little ensign told me you were in need of some reading material.”

There was no mistaking that voice, that drawl. Kathryn! Chakotay sprang to his feet so quickly the motion made him lightheaded.

As if summoned by his thoughts, he found her standing on the other side of the force field, looking at him with a sad half smile. She looked tired, and her dismay at seeing him behind virtual bars was written all over her face. He wished more than anything that he could do something to take it away, and replace it with the joy she should be feeling at stepping back on Earth ground for the first time in seven years.

“I thought you’d still be on the docking station, I didn’t think the crew’s transfer would go this quickly,” he commented.

“I made my escape as soon as I could. I brought you some of your things. Ensign Tagashi told me it was alright for you to have them.”

Chakotay’s heart swelled when she pulled out his medicine bundle from the bag she was carrying, and a book.

“This better be a book that’s going to last me for a while,” he commented drily, raising a sarcastic eyebrow to hide how moved he was by her thoughtfulness.

She replied with a caustic smile of her own as she held the book up to show him the cover.

“The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri,” he read out loud, at once recognizing her well-used copy of The Inferno. The gesture, and the symbolism of her letting him borrow this book again, made it impossible for him to swallow the sudden lump in his throat.

“Seemed appropriate, given your current situation,” she replied with a wry smile, and Chakotay snorted, relieved to diffuse the sudden heaviness of his heart.

She gestured for the security officer who stood by to come and open the force field. The officer punched the control panel and a hole opened in the middle of the field. Kathryn handed Chakotay the items and he took them, taking a second to squeeze her palms gratefully. Her eyes met his briefly before she pulled back her hands. Once the force field reintegrated, she stepped closer so that she could lower her voice.

“Have you met your legal representative yet?” She asked with concern.

“No, not yet.”

She looked around, as if to make sure that no one was listening. Chakotay would have thought it amusing under different circumstances. “I have to confess, Chakotay, I don’t like this.”

“Neither do I, but I thought we’d already gone over this,” Chakotay replied, fully serious again, and ready to go for Round 2 if need be.

“I’ve been speaking to Admiral Hayes and a couple of other people at Starfleet Command, and no one seems to know where the push to uphold the warrant to arrest the Maquis on Voyager came from.”

“So?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “I feel as though there’s something wrong here, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

Chakotay frowned at this. He’d always been a strong believer in intuition, and Kathryn’s was usually spot on. “Okay, so… what does that mean, exactly?”

“I don’t know. But I would feel more comfortable if I were present when you meet your legal representative. Admiral Hayes mentioned that you have a right to request your own counselor, if the one provided isn’t suitable. I’m thinking we should use whatever time we have before your trial to find you someone outside of the system. Just in case this turns out to be more of a circus than a legal procedure.”

Chakotay frowned curiously. “What do you mean?”

She shook her head again. “I don’t know. Again, it’s just a hunch.” She let a derisive smile touch her lips as she rubbed her forehead wearily. “Or maybe I’m just being paranoid.”

Chakotay’s curiosity only grew at this; what did she know that he didn’t? He could still remember how his instincts had flared up when he’d first seen Admiral Larks, and maybe Kathryn had sensed something as well.

“My point is,” she resumed, “we need to find someone trustworthy to represent you at the trial.”

“There is someone I know.”

Kathryn latched onto it, her eyes widening with undisguised hope. “Who?”

“Captain Kathryn Janeway.”

She startled and stared at him, eyes wide. “I’m touched to have your vote of confidence that I could do this, Chakotay, but – and I mean this with the utmost respect – are you out of your mind?”

“I don’t think so. Who better to talk on my behalf than the person who knows me best? Who better than the captain I served under these last seven years?”

She stared at him a while longer, considering, but then she shook her head. “No. You know I’ll testify on your behalf, but I think I’m more help to you if I’m not directly involved. That way I can investigate outside of the usual channels. If I can find out who was pushing to have the Maquis punished- what?” She asked when she noticed his smile.

Chakotay shook his head, still smiling. “I didn’t know you had such a fondness for detective work.”

She replied in kind. “Only in this particular case. I’ve already requested some personal leave to work on this.”

That surprised him, that she would put her duty aside for him. He refused to let himself think about the implications. “What about Voyager?”

“It’ll be fine for a few weeks.” She gazed at him for a moment with an expression he knew meant she had more to say, but wasn’t sure how to broach the subject.

“What?” He asked to save her the trouble.

“Before I transported off the docking station, I ran into B’Elanna, and she mentioned your sister, Takayla. She said she’s some sort of a defense attorney on your home world.”

Chakotay let out a long sigh, shaking his head. “I wish B’Elanna hadn’t told you that.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t ask Takayla to represent me. We’re… not that close right now. We need to find someone else.”

He could tell that Kathryn had about a thousand questions, but Chakotay didn’t really want to talk about any of it right now. So he changed the subject. “So, what am I missing up there?” He asked as he went to place the bundle and the book carefully onto the small desk.

It took a second for Kathryn to accept the change of topic, but in the end she didn’t push the issue. “There’s a bit of a party on the docking station, but I think it’s just a decoy to ensure that the crew won’t riot against being forced to remain on board as long as they need to, when they’re so close to being home they can practically smell the ozone.”

Chakotay nodded, unable to keep his wistfulness from tainting his smile. Kathryn went on.

“What else? Well, Seven’s hellbent on sending Voyager on to its new mission to join the Borg Resistance! She’s had some success with retroengineering the transceiver and contacting her old friends from Unimatrix 0, and I’m afraid it’s going to her head.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

She blinked, as if his words had literally shocked her. “I admit, I’m surprised you think so."

Chakotay gave a small shrug. “I mean it. Seven is exactly where she needs to be, doing what she does best. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

There was a long beat of a suddenly heavy silence as the surprise in her gaze shifted into something else that he couldn’t quite identify, something insistent and deep.

“Wouldn’t you?” She breathed, her words just loud enough to make it to his ears, her gaze intent. Before he could respond, or truly grasp what it was that she was asking, she shook herself and returned to her wry tone. “Well, part of me wishes she would do it on someone else’s ship. We just got back, I think the crew should be able to enjoy it before we set off to hunt down Borg again!”

His ears still ringing from her breathless comment and the raw emotion in her tone, Chakotay returned to stand directly in front of her, the force field the only thing standing between them. In his mind, the answer to her question was _yes, he_ would _have it another way,_ but probably not in the way she was thinking.

Because a part of him was relieved to realize that his relationship with Seven couldn’t go on. And even though the honorable part of him balked at that, as he stared into Kathryn’s eyes he was reminded just _where_ that relief came from. It came from that hidden room in his heart where Kathryn had made herself at home years ago. A squatter that he never truly wanted to get rid of. For a while he’d believed her gone, but now he realized he had only pulled a curtain around that little room to hide her from view. She had never left. He knew it as clear as day that his heart had been hers practically from the moment she’d entreated him to join her crew.

Despite her light tone, her expression was somewhere between entreating him to forget her slip and some kind of apprehensive curiosity. He frowned and shifted on his feet as he placed his hands on his hips.

“Kathryn, you know I’m not one to run around the bush, so let me save you the trouble of saying whatever it is that’s burning on your tongue right now: this… thing… with Seven,” his frown deepened at the inadequacy of his words and he shook his head, “well, we never got to the point where it was even worth labeling. In fact, what I’m trying to say, is that we never really got to a point where we were anything more than two people dating. It was probably doomed to fail from the start. I see that clearer than ever, now.”

She was still watching him intently, her expression guarded, and it unnerved him that he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. After what felt like an eternity, she gave a small, validating, nod. “Why? Why was it doomed?”

If she had asked him this question in a universe where he wasn’t behind bars and facing life in prison, he would have told her the truth. No matter if she didn’t return his feelings. Consequences be damned. But now, under these circumstances, he couldn’t – wouldn’t – do that to her. His realization came too late. He couldn’t find it in himself to ask of Kathryn what he’d refused to ask of Seven – to wait for him. It would be selfish and cruel for him to do so, even if she didn’t return his feelings.

Chakotay was saved from coming up with an answer when the cellblock doors opened and loud footsteps echoed down the corridor, distracting both of them. Kathryn took a subtle step back just before the intruders appeared in Chakotay’s line of sight.

His legal representative was here, and he wasn’t alone.

oooOooo

Mea walked in step with Lieutenant Commander Piosa, Mr. Chakotay’s assigned legal representative, while Admiral Larks himself brought up the rear. Part of her had been surprised that _Piosa,_ of all of the legal representatives working for the Justice Inquirer’s Office, had been assigned to this case, since his strength was in interplanetary economic law. If you wanted someone to deal with fraudulent Ferengi, he was your officer of choice, but he would not necessarily have been Mea’s choice for treason charges.

However, her surprise passed quickly when she recalled the way Admiral Larks had spoken of the Maquis. Clearly he had made little effort to assign a decent defense counselor. And that had stirred something in her, it had awoken a powerful need to rectify such unjust treatment. This was not the Starfleet that she loved and admired. Mea didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but was it possible that Admiral Larks actually meant to sabotage Mr. Chakotay’s chances of a fair hearing? Her aunt’s voice echoed in her head – as it usually did when she wondered about the depths of human emotions, including her own – and reminded her that, _of course_ , it was possible. But why? Mea didn’t believe Larks was hot-headed enough (even by human standards) to do something like this unless there was more to gain from it. But what could it be? What possible motive could he have to treat Mr. Chakotay this way? Monetary gains had not been an issue on Earth for centuries. It _could_ be advantageous in other Federation-controlled worlds, but…

As their group walked through the cellblock doors and stepped into the corridor leading to Mr. Chakotay’s cell, Mea immediately noticed Captain Janeway take a guilty step away from the force field, and the flustered confusion in both Janeway’s and Chakotay’s expressions. She cursed her timing, clearly they had interrupted a private conversation of some importance. It wasn’t Mea’s place to speculate as to the nature of Mr. Chakotay’s relationship with Captain Janeway, but the quality of their friendship was noticeable even to a stranger – she had seen it even in the first moments aboard Voyager. And just now, that startled step backwards of Janeway’s had been eloquent. Though in all fairness, Mea seemed to be the only one to have noticed among her party.

When they came level with Chakotay and Janeway, Commander Piosa introduced himself and Mea took a step back. It was her duty to be present for such meetings – it was a formality that she had to comply with – and though usually she found them rather tedious, this one was of some interest.

Admiral Larks soon stepped forward to reintroduce himself, and Mea observed the exchange with interest. The way Larks, Chakotay, and even Janeway, held themselves spoke volumes about their respective impressions of the other. Where the Voyager officers stood with calm resolution, straight-backed and chins held high, the admiral’s demeanor was subtly overbearing. To Mea’s trained eye, the glint in his eyes and the way he held himself spoke of some triumph, and of the same eagerness she had witnessed in his expression before. But there was something else too, underneath it all. There was a well-concealed, deeply-rooted fear, a _panic_ , almost, that had Mea burn with curiosity. What was it about this particular prisoner that unsettled him so? It strengthened her resolve to get to the bottom of it.

"I have to confess," the admiral was saying, his tone sarcastic, "I’m surprised that the both of you actually followed through with your orders."

Janeway inhaled slowly, tiredly. "We’re all Starfleet officers."

"Well, not anymore," Larks replied with the ghost of a smile.

Before Captain Janeway had a chance to counter, Mr. Chakotay raised his chin and leveled a cool glare at the admiral. "I’m sure you didn’t come all the way down here _only_ to gloat, Admiral, so speak your mind so that my counselor and I can get on with our _private_ session."

Larks shifted on his feet, his smile looking a little forced now, and the fear spilled through the cracks slightly. He smoothed down the front of his uniform. “I just came to welcome you to our humble facilities. And to say, ‘I look forward to seeing you in court.’"

“Will you be part of the proceedings, then?” Captain Janeway asked lightly, though her expression was apprehensive.

Larks smiled again. “As a matter of fact, I am, Captain. I will be prosecuting this case myself.”

Mea’s eyes widened. Though it was not unprecedented, in all the months she had served at the Justice Inquirer’s Office, Admiral Larks had never prosecuted a case himself.

Captain Janeway looked startled, but the notion didn’t seem to trouble Chakotay. “Well, in this case, I will see you in court, Admiral,” he replied while he held the admiral’s stare. It lasted for a few long seconds until the admiral turned to Captain Janeway. "Well, I hope you enjoy your personal leave, Captain.”

He was about to leave when Janeway’s voice interrupted, her eyebrows raised high. “News travels faster at Starfleet Command than it does aboard my ship! How did you know I was taking personal leave?”

The admiral’s overbearing mask cracked a little more at the suspicion behind Captain Janeway’s question. “Well, it’s like you said: news travel fast. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll see you both again soon.” He turned on his heels and walked away and through the cellblock doors.

Mea released the breath she hadn’t known she was holding.

“Well…” Commander Piosa mumbled uncomfortably, shifting on his feet and clearing his throat at the palpable tension that the admiral had left in his wake.

Chakotay returned his attention to Captain Janeway and they shared a look. "I’m beginning to understand what you meant…” He straightened. “Captain,” he said more formally for Piosa’s benefit, “I know you have other things to do – that search you mentioned before? It seems to be of some urgency, now.”

“I agree,” Janeway said as she gazed worriedly in the direction the admiral had just left. She returned her attention to Chakotay and he gave her a small smile.

“Thank you for the book."

A kind of understanding seemed to pass between them and the captain nodded. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Chakotay nodded, and then looked straight at Mea. She straightened instinctively. "Ensign Tagashi, would you be so good as to escort Captain Janeway?"

Mea was as surprised by the request as Janeway appeared to be. "Of course. Captain?"

The captain threw one last frowning look at Chakotay before she turned to Mea. "Lead the way, Ensign."

As they made their way away from the cells, Janeway shook her head in frustration. "That man clearly has something up his sleeve…" She muttered as they passed the cellblock doors and stepped into the short staircase leading to ground level.

"Yes, I know," Mea replied, assuming she was speaking of Admiral Larks.

Janeway stopped and it took a second for Mea to realize that she was no longer next to her. "What?"

"What?" Mea repeated in confusion.

"What did you say?"

Mea felt flustered and for once she just could not hide it. "I apologize, Captain, I thought you were talking to me, I-" She shook her head in embarrassment. ‘ _Of course you weren't talking to me_ ,’ she chided herself.

Janeway's expression turned into a mix of amused cynicism and intense curiosity. "But you agreed with me. What do you know? And does Chakotay know you know…" she added to herself as she threw a look over her shoulder toward the cellblock doors.

Mea shook her head. "I'm sorry, I don't actually know anything for certain. It's just a hunch. Well, a hunch based on empirical observations of the admiral's behavior and language over the last few days. I've never known him to be so..."

“What?”

Mea shook her head. “Interested. As in, clearly, he has some vested interests in seeing Mr. Chakotay punished. But I don’t know what those interests could be.”

Captain Janeway placed a hand on Mea’s shoulder and gave her a grateful smile. “Thank you, Ensign. That confirms my own intuitions.” She stepped away and resumed making her way towards the hall, but Mea shook herself out of her star-struck immobility and called her to a stop.

“Wait, Captain,” she started as she caught up to her so that she could lower her voice. “I’d like to help, if I can. I’m not in a position to confront the admiral, but I know there’s something wrong here, and I’ve always believed that my duty is about doing the right thing.”

Janeway’s grateful smile softened into a gentler expression. “Thank you, Ensign, but this whole thing has already cost this good officer his rank,” she said with a nod towards the cellblocks, “I wouldn’t want you to risk yours. I know he wouldn’t want that either.”

Before Mea could reply that she would rather lose this job and uphold Starfleet’s values of justice and honor than do nothing and save her own skin, the captain spoke again. “But there is one thing you can do, Ensign.”

“Of course.”

“I’m going away for a few days, can you keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn’t lose hope?”

It was unexpectedly personal, and Mea startled, but she gave a determined nod. “I believe I can manage that, Captain.”

Janeway gave her another grateful smile before she turned on her heels and went on her way.

oooOooo

 


	9. Interlude

" _’Starfleet Regulations T934.A statute 2.4. In times of war, circumstantial evidence must be proven beyond lawful doubt before said evidence may be considered valid…'_ " Kathryn read out loud. "Could this help us?"

Takayla considered it while she took another sip of coffee. "It could, depending on what types of evidence the prosecution will present. However, they don’t really _need_ circumstantial evidence to demonstrate that Chakotay was in fact a Maquis since he’s confessed to that himself. We’ll have to play it more broadly – question the idea of treason itself."

Kathryn nodded to herself as she processed this. She still found herself distracted from her conversation with Admiral Hayes – especially the promotion part. In her mind, she’d always assumed that she would climb the Starfleet echelons all the way to the admiralty one day. After all she had never lacked ambition. But never could she have imagined it happening so fast. She didn’t feel ready, and yet… it was more tempting than she would have imagined. A promotion would give her opportunities the likes of which she had never known, for leadership and command, but also for pushing forward ambitious exploratory programs.

More importantly, it would give her a sense of purpose. She now realized that in accomplishing her mission of bringing Voyager home, she had lost her purpose, her driving force, her own personal thrusters. For now this need for having something meaningful to do was fulfilled by her quest to free Chakotay. But, once they succeeded… But was she ready to give up exploration? Had the last seven years spent trying to get back home satisfied her curiosity about the inner workings of the universe? Of course not, but right now the thought of being sedentary for a while sounded incredibly appealing. Maybe a promotion would give her new things to look forward to, new challenges, other kinds of motivation.

She wished she could discuss it with Chakotay, as she normally would. She was so used to his presence, his counsel, it struck her suddenly just how much she missed him. It was like a clamped fist around her lungs, constricting her breathing. She hadn’t seen him since that day she had left to find his sister, and she worried about him. Hopefully Ensign Tagashi would find a way to keep his morale up.

That day, after leaving Chakotay with Lieutenant Commander Piosa, his appointed representative, Kathryn had made her way back to Starfleet Headquarters on autopilot, her mind too busy swirling with echoes of recent bribes of conversation and images of Chakotay standing behind that force field in that prison uniform – like an animal in the zoological gardens of old – to take in the fact that she was _on Earth._ Would she ever be in a position where she could _appreciate_ the fact that their journey was actually over?

_Yes, she would. When Chakotay was set free._

The urgency of finding Chakotay a decent representative (especially after learning of Admiral Larks’ personal involvement in the prosecution) had only solidified her determination to seek out his sister, despite Chakotay’s reservations. So she had quickly transported back to the station in order to ask Tom to pilot a shuttle to Chakotay’s home colony. She’d also wanted to make sure that her crew was settled before she left. She trusted Tuvok to take care of everything, and to see to it that the transfer of the crew went smoothly, but she wanted to check in on his progress regardless, and make sure that her people were comfortable.

Almost as soon as she had set foot aboard the docking station, however, she was summoned to a meeting with Admirals Hayes, Paris, Avuyasha, and a few other interested parties, to discuss the situation with the Borg, and Seven’s plan to go out looking for the Resistance. Slightly annoyed by the delay, Kathryn had arrived at the meeting room at the same time as Seven.

“It appears you were correct in assuming that Starfleet would be unable to resist the opportunity to defeat the Borg once and for all,” Seven told Kathryn as they had walked inside and taken a seat at the large table.

“So it would seem.”

The admirals were already seated and conversing together – Hayes had glanced at Kathryn and given her a quick acknowledging nod before returning to this conversation. Kathryn’s gaze had wandered around the room, taking in the people around the table, resting for a moment on Admiral Paris. She’d briefly wondered whether Tom had reunited with his father, before moving on to the other side of the table. Many of the officers looked somewhat familiar, but there had been a few new faces. Including the wiry captain with unruly curls who had taken a seat next to her, giving her a nod by way of greeting. Kathryn and Seven were the only ones from Voyager.

Admiral Avuyasha had called the meeting to a start, briefly relating the meeting’s objectives: to make a decision regarding a chance to defeat the Borg. She had then passed the metaphorical microphone to Seven. With her typical aplomb, Seven had told them about her work with the transceiver, her communication with Mr. Axum, and more importantly, Species 8472’s willingness to use their (quasi)instantaneous transportation capabilities to take Federation starships to the fight. Kathryn had been surprised to see that Seven had come prepared, with a little show and tell on the Beta Quadrant and the status of the Borg.

That was when Avuyasha had turned to Kathryn. “Captain Janeway, it is our understanding that you have made substantial improvements to Voyager specifically designed to prepare for encounters with the Borg, am I correct?”

Kathryn couldn’t help the tug of apprehension from tightening her stomach. “That’s right.” She told them about the improvements, including those that her future self had made.

“It follows that Voyager would be the best starship to send on such a mission,” Avuyasha had concluded and Kathryn had frowned uneasily, uncrossing her legs to lean her elbows on the table.

“Normally I would agree, and even volunteer,” she had replied, “but Admiral, I have just been granted some personal leave, and I believe my crew should have at least some time with their loved ones before being deployed again. I realize that this is an important mission – a shifting balance against the Borg notwithstanding, it might prove pivotal in establishing an alliance with Species 8472. However, the timing-”

Admiral Avuyasha had raised her hand to interrupt. “Yes, we understand your predicament, Captain. And under ideal circumstances, _you_ would of course be the best candidate to lead this mission. Why with your experience with Voyager, the Borg _and_ Species 8472. However,” she paused heavily, “I’m certain you can also see how the admiralty might consider this a matter of some urgency. And considering the importance of this mission, which you have just emphasized yourself, we,” he said with a look at her fellow admirals, “summoned you all here because we would like to pursue Miss Seven of Nine’s plan as soon as possible. To that end,” she went on, her gaze returning to Kathryn’s, “we are giving temporary command of Voyager to Captain Simon Stedvak, effecting as soon as you begin your leave,” the admiral concluded with a nod toward Kathryn’s neighbor with unruly hair.

Kathryn had followed her gaze to the man himself, who couldn’t quite stop a brief triumphant smirk from flashing across his face before he’d hidden it by taking a sip from his coffee. Avuyasha had continued the meeting, asking the attendants to help unravel the logistics of this endeavor, but Kathryn had been unable to keep herself from staring at Stedvak for several seconds, as if she could gage the man from his expressions only. He was handsome enough, and she could only glimpse excitement and eagerness in the way his lips twitched as if he was fighting hard against the urge to smile. Kathryn chose to attribute it to this being his first command. She herself had been unable to hide her eagerness when she had first been given command of Voyager. After a moment, she had shaken herself and exchanged a look with Seven, whose apparent apprehension no doubt reflected Kathryn’s. However Seven had recovered quickly, and before Kathryn had known it, the former drone had been sharing her detailed plan of action with the attendants.

Not an hour had passed before the plan was approved, and the mission had a go.

Out of respect for Kathryn’s crew, it was decided that a temporary contingent would be assigned to Voyager to fill in all of the necessary positions, unless original crewmembers declined the leave that had been offered to them, and volunteered to join in. The invitation was sent immediately to the entirety of Kathryn’s crew.

As the meeting had concluded, Kathryn had felt strangely bereft. It felt as though the rug had been pulled from under her, and there had been nothing she could do about it. Rationally, she understood the admirals’ decision, and had she been in the admiral’s chair, she might have done the same. Nevertheless, it felt very much like she had just gambled Voyager, and lost. But, as much as her heart revolted at the idea that another captain would be taking Voyager to fight the Borg (to fight _her_ fight), Kathryn reminded herself that it was a consequence of _her_ doing. By taking personal leave to help Chakotay even though she knew Seven was working on this project, she had decided what her priorities were.

After the meeting, Captain Stedvak had followed her out of the room, and they made proper introductions. They’d made small talk as they made their way to the mess hall as Kathryn was in dire need of some coffee. If only for comfort. Kathryn’s first impression was that Captain Simon Stedvak was rather unremarkable – be it in intelligence or personality – hardly the kind of captain she would have chosen for Voyager. He lacked the spunk and energy of her own style, or the quiet wisdom of Chakotay’s, or the open-mindedness and desire to learn of junior officers like Harry Kim. Instead, he struck her as someone who was used to having things handed to him. Even his appearance gave her clues as to his character, for instance how the carefully planned unruliness of his hair spoke of a certain kind of vanity, or how his eyes betrayed more than simple eagerness, but a kind of glee or even triumph. It was at that moment, as they exchanged pleasantries over coffee, that Kathryn had decided that she didn’t like him. But, she had to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Is this your first command?” Kathryn had asked.

“It is. Any tips?”

Kathryn had given a faint smile. “Trust your crew, respect the ship… and don’t get flung to a different quadrant of the galaxy by a Caretaker.”

“Ha, of course, I’ll try to remember that,” he’d said as he’d ordered the replicator for some pastry for himself. “Any advice on how to deal with Seven of Nine?”

That had made Kathryn’s eyes flicker back to him. While she was slightly concerned for Seven’s welfare, she also knew that Seven could take care of herself. In fact, Kathryn felt a stab of satisfaction at the thought that Seven might not take kindly to having to work with a crew of strangers. Part of her wished the former drone would not make it easy for this man. It was petty, but as Chakotay had told her once, she wasn’t always a reasonable woman. “She’s not Starfleet,” she had told him, “but she will respect your authority if you show her due respect and consideration.”

He’d smiled, the kind of smile that some people might find charming but to Kathryn looked sleazy, before he’d raised his coffee cup in thanks. “Thank you Captain. I should go get ready.”

Kathryn had nodded and watched him go for a moment, unable to quench the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. At that moment she had almost called him back – called them _all_ back – to tell them she had changed her mind, that _no one_ would take Voyager but herself. But then a fleeting memory of Chakotay behind the force field had flashed through her mind. No, she had made her decision, she couldn’t let Chakotay down just because her ego had been bruised. Who was vain now? So all she could do now was hope that Stedvak would not put Seven and Voyager in unnecessary danger.

With renewed conviction about her need to get Chakotay back and soon, she’d found Tom and B’Elanna chatting with the Doctor just outside of the station’s sickbay, Tom gently swaying Miral in his arms as they conversed.

“They’re taking our ship?” Tom had complained disdainfully when they had spotted Kathryn approaching.

Kathryn had closed her eyes briefly to stop the complaint. “Believe me, I don’t like it either. But Voyager _is_ the best asset against the Borg that Starfleet has at the moment. I’m surprised you two aren’t jumping in on the action.”

The couple had exchanged a look. “Honestly, we considered it. But we decided we should stick around for the time being,” Tom replied as his hand caressed Miral’s hair, the protective gesture almost unconscious.

“How’s Chakotay holding up?” B’Elanna had asked, a concerned frown on her face.

“It’s hard to tell, you know how he is,” Kathryn had replied, glad for the reminder. Voyager was out of her hands, she needed to focus on helping Chakotay in any way she could, now.

“Having been there myself,” Tom had added as he’d swayed gently side-to-side for Miral’s sake, “I know all too well what he must be going through. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“Actually, that’s exactly why I’m here.” Tom had frowned in curious interest. “I need a pilot for a few days. I realize this is not ideal timing with the baby, and the transfer to Earth, not to mention the move to new quarters and-”

Tom and B’Elanna had exchanged a look while she spoke, something passing between them, before Tom returned his attention to Kathryn. “Say no more, Captain. I’m happy to help.”

“I have to stick around here,” B’Elanna had said, “I’ve been asked to brief Starfleet Command on some of our engineering improvements and discuss their implementation to other starships, otherwise Miral and I would join you.”

“Is there anything _I_ can do, Captain?” The Doctor had asked with genuine concern and Kathryn had gazed at him in surprise.

“I thought you would be excited to return to your post on Voyager, Doctor?”

He had seemed taken aback. “Well, I didn’t realize I had a choice in the matter, Captain.”

Kathryn’s smile had softened. “You’re a part of my crew, Doctor, as such you have the same liberty as anyone else. You have a right to some personal downtime if that’s what you want. You’ve certainly earned it.”

“Well,” he had replied, “I’m grateful, Captain. But even though I will be among a crew of usurpers, I think I should go with Seven, if only to keep an eye on things on your behalf.”

Kathryn had bitten back a grin. “I would be immensely grateful. I’m not sure I fully trust this new captain with my ship. Not to mention that Seven has been a little hot-headed about the whole thing.”

“Of course,” he’d replied solemnly. “I’ll do my best to represent your interests, Captain. I will make a point of asking myself daily, ‘what would Captain Janeway do’?”

Kathryn had given him a grateful nod, still trying to hold back her smile, as the Doctor had nodded his farewell and transferred away instantaneously.

“Where are we going?” Tom had asked.

“To find Chakotay a competent defense attorney.”

“Who do you have in mind?” B’Elanna had asked.

Kathryn had hesitated for a moment, once again realizing that Chakotay might not like her doing this. “I’m following your recommendation, B’Elanna.”

B’Elanna’s lips had quirked up. “You’re going to get Takayla?” She’d bitten back a grin. “Knowing the two of you, now that’s a meeting I would pay to see…”

Kathryn had ignored B’Elanna’s quip for now. “B’Elanna, I might have a job for you, if you’re interested. It’s not what you had in mind – you won’t be busting anyone out of jail – but I need you to do some research. About Admiral Larks, and any possible ties to the Maquis conflict. There’s a young ensign at the JIG’s office, Ensign Tagashi, who might be able and willing to help.”

B’Elanna had jumped in on the occasion, and on that, Tom and Kathryn had parted to prepare for their journey to Chakotay’s home planet.

All in all they had made good time to reach their destination. On the way Tom had been courteous enough not to ask too many questions, and when he did make conversation, it was small talk, meant to take her mind off things. They’d discussed Seven’s mission, and Kathryn’s doubts about Captain Stedvak’s competence, and what some of the crew members would be doing with their down time. But despite the light conversation, she had been unable to keep her mind from wandering. Sometimes it would go to Voyager, but most often her thoughts would take her back to that moment, back in the jail, with the force field and years of silence between her and Chakotay. As much as she worried about Voyager, _this_ was what she always returned to.

_It was doomed to fail from the start._

Perhaps if they had been able to finish this conversation, these words wouldn’t have tormented her so much. What had Chakotay been trying to tell her? That his relationship with Seven was over? He’d actually looked completely sincere when he told her that he considered Seven to be where she should be – back on Voyager, _away from him._

And Kathryn didn’t understand any of it.

She didn’t understand how Seven would not want to do everything in her power to help Chakotay – because that was pretty much all _she_ could think about.

She didn’t understand how Chakotay seemed utterly nonplussed by Seven’s lack of interest – because such indifference would have been unacceptable to _her_.

In fact, this whole relationship – from start to finish – made no sense to her.

Apparently her mind and her heart worked differently than theirs. Because, even though she tried to keep a strong hold over emotions that could interfere with her sense of duty, such as love and lust, she had always felt things keenly. She didn’t give her heart easily, but when she did, she gave it all – no half measures. And she’d assumed Chakotay was the same. Maybe what he’d been trying to tell her was that his relationship with Seven had been so recent and new that they’d never grown to develop a real attachment. But even though she drew some satisfaction from this, it didn’t do much to alleviate the sting.

It made her wonder… Had it been arrogance that had led her to believe that his feelings for her had been deep enough to persist despite the lines of duty that stood between them? Or had it been vanity? Wishful thinking? Whatever it was, she was certainly paying the price for it now.

Realizing that she’d let her thoughts drift again, Kathryn shook herself, and returned her attention to the present moment, sitting across the table from Takayla. Kathryn had momentarily felt re-energized by the food and the call with Admiral Hayes, but now her headache was making an unwelcome return. She pulled her knees up to prop her heels against the chair next to her as she reached up to dig her fingers into her hair. "Any luck on your side?"

Takayla shook her head as she grabbed one of the PADDs from the table. "This one was a prisoner of war, held by the Cardassians for a few weeks until the Federation traded their own prisoners for him. He was charged with treason almost right away, and he is now working his sentence on a penal colony.” She took another PADD. “This woman surrendered after the massacre of the Maquis at Polmas Prime, she was one of the few survivors, and was sentenced to life in prison." Takayla sighed as she leaned back into her chair with a sigh. "I'm afraid it doesn't bode well for my brother."

"Well, I'm not giving up.”

Takayla gave a faint smile. "Chak told me once that you were determined. But I confess, it still surprises me, the lengths you would go to help him."

"Why? Because I'm Starfleet?" Kathryn asked distractedly as she stretched and rubbed her neck muscles.

"No. Because he said you didn't return his feelings."

Kathryn froze.

The rush of conflicting emotions hit her all at once: surprise that Chakotay had spoken about her — about _them_ — to his sister; incredulity that Takayla could bring it up so abruptly; bittersweet pleasure that Chakotay _had_ once spoken of having feelings for her (so it hadn’t all been in her mind, then!); dismay that Chakotay had so completely misunderstood the nature of her own feelings for him…

But, a little voice in her head countered, wasn't that what she'd always wanted? After all, she'd always upheld the line between them, and though deep down she'd cherished the depth of their friendship, the rational part of her had known that, as long as he was under her command, nothing could happen between them. And while he remained unattainable, he was safe. He was safe to talk to, safe to befriend, and safe to confide in.

But boy, had that backfired!

The more she'd gotten to know him and the more she'd confided in him, the harder it had been for her to ignore just how important he was becoming to her. What he came to mean to her. And that had scared her. And so, she'd made the boundaries on each side of the line even starker, she'd kept him at arm’s length until they both believed that this distance was the closest they could ever get. And finding out about his relationship with Seven had made her realize just how well it had worked. While she hadn't been paying attention, while she'd neglected to show how much she cared for him because of her own self-righteousness, he had moved on, leaving her behind, stuck and afraid to get out of the comfort zone they had established over the years.

So, really, all of this was _her_ doing.

It was about time she admitted that to herself.

With this realization, the secret bitterness she had felt towards Chakotay faded, leaving behind only a painful kind of longing, and confusion.

When she finally looked up again, Kathryn realized that Takayla had long moved on, oblivious to Kathryn's rush of emotions. "…we'll have to keep looking for loopholes," she was saying, "what if we changed tactics?"

Kathryn shook herself mentally. _Concentrate!_ "Alright."

Something in her voice must have betrayed her lack of attention because Takayla frowned in concern. "Captain, did you hear what I said?"

"Actually, no, I didn’t.” She let her feet fall to the floor and she leaned closer over the table. “Let me backtrack for a second. When did Chakotay tell you that?"

Takayla's expression was confused for a moment, but then cleared when she realized what Kathryn was referring to. "Maybe four, five months ago. I’m not sure. We’d been exchanging communications for a while by then.”

So recently…

"I see.” Was that the moment he’d decided to really move on and start a relationship with Seven? She racked her brain trying to remember what had happened around that time that would have prompted him to share those thoughts with his sister. The whole thing with the holograms of Fair Haven? Jaffen? She couldn’t remember.

Takayla shifted when she noticed how much this was affecting Kathryn. "Captain, I apologize. I should never have blurted this out. I didn't think it would come as a surprise to you. But I was wrong. And now I see _he_ was wrong too."

Kathryn looked down, unable to confirm or deny. "Well. It’s alright." She forced a smile to her lips.

Takayla nodded. "So, how about that change in tactics?"

Kathryn nodded eagerly, happy for the change of topic. "What do you have in mind?"

They were interrupted by Tom's voice over the comms. "Captain, we are approaching the solar system. We'll reach Earth in a couple of hours."

Kathryn nodded. "Thanks, Tom." She shared a look with Takayla. "Better go back to work."

oooOooo

 


	10. Chapter 10

“…that’s when I realized that, much to my chagrin, it was high time that I switched from EMH to Emergency Command Hologram and retake control of the bridge! As uncertain as I was, I, of course, rose the challenge.”

Seven had a sudden urge to roll her eyes as she approached the small collective of young medical officers currently surrounding the Doctor, who appeared more than happy to share stories of his own accomplishments aboard Voyager. And from what she heard, embellish them as well.

Earth’s orbital docking station was vast, and it accommodated a larger contingent than Seven had anticipated, especially now that the new temporary Voyager crew was starting to arrive. As a result, the large hall where the welcoming celebration was taking place was nearly full with Starfleet uniforms, most of them belonging to strangers.

“I didn’t realize EMHs were programed to do that!” One of the admirers exclaimed.

“Oh yes, although, it must be said that I _have_ expanded quite beyond my original program over the years.”

“Doctor,” Seven interrupted.

The Doctor threw her an annoyed glance over his shoulder. “Just a moment, Seven, I'm in the middle of a story-”

“Doctor, _now_.”

The Doctor heaved a deep apologetic sigh directed at his audience. “Well, I suppose I’ll have to finish this later. Excuse me. Seven, that was rude!”

“I apologize. I require your assistance.”

“What, now? We’re in the middle of the welcoming party, can’t it wait?”

Seven was more than aware of this fact. She felt very uncomfortable in this gathering. Everywhere she turned she felt eyes on her, and whispers and hushed conversations seemed to follow her wherever she went. Her crewmates appeared to rejoice in the chance to socialize and celebrate their long-awaited return to Earth – even if none of them except the captain had actually set foot on the planet yet – but Seven found herself wandering alone, bribes of conversation floating to her ears as she passed by. Even Icheb was engrossed in a conversation with Harry Kim and three young female officers. She was glad for her friends, but the need to reconnect with what she knew, with those who would understand her best, had never been stronger than at this moment. Especially now that Starfleet Command had consented to send Voyager to rendezvous at the coordinates Species 8472 had shared with Seven. The desire to see Axum again created an insistent tug inside her that she struggled to ignore.

Perhaps the Doctor had been correct in his assumption after all – perhaps she _was_ attempting to run away from something. Except it was not her feelings for Chakotay that she was looking to get away from – no, those had been processed and compartmentalized with more ease than she had anticipated – but rather the unease she felt at the thought of Voyager’s being _home_. And, for her, the sudden loss of purpose that it entailed. She would not admit it out loud, however.

Chakotay would probably encourage her to think about it differently – that maybe running away from something did not mean that she wasn’t also running _towards_ something else. This thought assuaged some of her unease.

“I require your presence on Voyager to anticipate any harmful effects of the subatomic disturbances the crew will experience during the transphasic displacement to the Beta Quadrant,” she told the Doctor.

The Doctor gave her an appalled look. “I thought the Species 8472 you talked to assured us that it was safe!”

“They have. However Starfleet Command has requested that we anticipate problems nonetheless.”

“Well, I suppose that’s wise. But can’t it wait for a couple of hours? We’re not due to depart until tomorrow. Besides, this reception would be a wonderful opportunity for you, Seven, to test out everything you’ve learned about social interactions and the niceties of human conversation.”

Seven was about to reply that she had learned quite sufficiently recently, when Tuvok’s voice called for her attention. “Seven!”

Seven turned around and greeted the commander with a nod. He was accompanied by two men that Seven recognized from the earlier briefing as Admiral Hayes and Captain Stedvak. Captain Janeway’s replacement.

“Please forgive the intrusion,” Admiral Hayes started politely. “We haven’t officially met. I’m Admiral Hayes.” The admiral extended his hand with a small, kind smile, and Seven shook it in the way the Doctor had taught her, long ago now. (Remember, Seven, you don’t want to crush your interlocutor’s hand, this is about greeting one another…). “I’m sure you remember Captain Stedvak? He will be taking Voyager to the Beta Quadrant while Captain Janeway is on leave.”

Seven took the opportunity to assess this captain, and leveled a scanning gaze at him. When he met her eyes, his first instinct was to give her an overly friendly smile, but Seven’s indifferent expression soon put an end to it, and he shook himself before he looked away.

That in itself told Seven many things about him, including his lack of command experience, and the fact that he was easily intimidated. For an instant she resented Captain Janeway’s timing for deciding to take personal leave now. Of course she understood _why_ , but Seven had never realized until then the extent to which she had taken Janeway’s competence and leadership for granted.

“Is Voyager the only vessel you are sending?” The Doctor asked the admiral, unaware of the silent exchange.

“As a matter of fact, it’s not. Captain Uang will also be accompanying Voyager with the starship Aspire. At the moment that’s all we can afford to send so far away.”

“While two starships for a two-week duration are not sufficient to ensure victory, I’m sure it will be an adequate start,” Seven replied.

“That’s certainly our hope,” Admiral Hayes agreed with a nod.

“Has anyone of the original Voyager crew decided to join our endeavor?” Seven asked. She noticed that Icheb was now making his way toward her, and Seven nodded him over subtly.

It was Captain Stedvak who replied after clearing his throat. “A few. None of the bridge officers, unfortunately. Although I suppose that’s a good thing – I won’t have to contend with a crew used to dealing with another captain.”

“My understanding is that you’ll have a number of security officers and two or three engineers from the original crew, present company excepted,” the admiral added with a look at the Doctor, ignoring the captain’s comment. “The rest of the crew decided to accept the offered leave to spend some time reuniting with their loved ones.”

“I for one regret that I will not be able to join you,” Tuvok joined in. “However I dare not delay my return to Vulcan any longer.”

By then Icheb had joined them and Seven promptly introduced him to the officers. Admiral Hayes greeted him warmly, stating that he had heard great things about him from Captain Janeway, making the adolescent square his shoulders with a mix of pride and embarrassment.

“Icheb has been essential to my endeavor,” Seven said for Captain Stedvak’s benefit, “I was hoping that you would grant him permission to join us on this mission before he officially transfers to the Academy.”

Stedvak shook his head, and gave an incredulous chuckle, making the contents of his glass swirl dangerously to the edge. Was it possible that he was inebriated? “Are you serious? We can’t take a kid with us – he’ll only be in our way.”

Icheb flushed furiously and Seven felt her anger swell like a wave. “Icheb is exceptional in more ways than one,” Seven retorted, trying to control her temper, “and I might even suggest that he is much more qualified than you are!” She threw at him with a disdainful look at the captain’s wine glass.

Admiral Hayes raised his hand between them as if to stop them from coming to blows, but Seven didn’t budge from her stare. “Now now,” he cajoled. “Let’s not lose our heads here. Icheb, I know you show exceptional potential, but I believe Captain Janeway has arranged for you to join your classmates at the Academy as soon as you are ready to transfer to Earth.”

Icheb glanced at Seven before nodding. “Of course. I look forward to it, Admiral.”

The admiral nodded. “Good.” He returned his attention to Seven and Stedvak, who were still assessing each other stubbornly. “As for you two, I suggest you learn to get along. Otherwise this is going to be a very long two weeks.”

Instead of replying, Seven held the captain’s stare a little bit longer before she turned her attention to the admiral and Icheb. “If you’ll excuse us, the Doctor and I have some work to do on Voyager.”

The next day, Seven decided to use the two hours free from duty to visit Chakotay while Voyager and Aspire went through a final check-up and inventory before they left for the rendezvous point. She realized now that the only thing that had kept her from seeing him until then had been her own reluctance and fear that he would begrudge her for leaving. But now that her departure was imminent, she felt a confidence in her decision that made her prior reluctance appear unfounded. Childish, even. So it was with a poised frame of mind that she decided to stop postponing the inevitable.

She was granted special permission to transport to Earth so long as a Starfleet officer accompanied her – and Seven chose not to care that Starfleet didn’t seem to trust her completely. They would learn to do so in time, just as the Voyager crew had.

It was still early morning in San Francisco when Seven was finally directed through the cellblock doors. She made her way to the only cell that was presently occupied. Chakotay was already awake, and was currently sitting on the floor with his eyes closed in front of his medicine bundle, his hands clutching the piece of technology he used for vision quests. Seven was reluctant to disturb him, but he seemed to sense her presence before she could speak. In fact, he didn’t startle when he opened his eyes, but instead quietly rose to his feet after gently closing the bundle again.

“Hi,” he said quietly as he stepped closer, his eyes studying her closely.

Seven gave a brief acknowledging nod, uncertain how to comport herself in such circumstances.

“I didn’t think you’d come down here,” he said after a moment. Seven wondered if he meant Earth’s surface or the basement of the Justice Inquirer General building.

“I can’t stay long,” she swallowed, “I’ve come to say goodbye.”

Quite unexpectedly he smiled slightly. “Starfleet has approved your mission?”

“You know of it.”

“Ka- Captain Janeway mentioned you had succeeded in contacting the Resistance last time I saw her. I think that’s great.” Seven briefly wondered if he had almost referred to the Captain by her first name, and, if so, why he had stopped himself. “Have you heard from her?” He asked, his tone doing little to hide a genuine curiosity and concern for the captain’s welfare. Based on what she knew of human romantic love, it should probably be strange that she didn’t feel any of the jealousy she had heard so much about. And yet, in light of her recent realization about Axum, it seemed more of a sign that leaving was the right thing to do.

“No. I only know that she left in a shuttle with Lieutenant Paris yesterday afternoon. She didn’t say where she was going.”

He nodded. After a moment of silence, he shifted on his feet. “I’m glad you’re here. I haven’t really apologized properly, or given you an explanation for the way I acted after my surrender…”

Seven shook her head to dismiss his apology. “Do not concern yourself. Although I didn’t understand at the time, I believe I do now.”

He held her gaze. “Still, I want you to know that… I really _am_ sorry. If I had known that this was going to be the way things turned out, I wouldn’t have allowed any of this to happen,” he said, and Seven realized she understood his meaning despite his lack of precision.

“Perhaps I wouldn’t have either. Though, all things considered, I do no regret it either.”

Seven took the opportunity of his small crooked smile to let her gaze wander to their surroundings and Chakotay’s cell. “I’m sorry that I won’t be here for the trial.”

He shook his head as if to dismiss the notion. “No, the last thing I want is for you to concern yourself with me. If _this_ has taught me anything, it’s that, if you have a whole future ahead of you, you should make the most of it while you can. Don’t let me, or anyone else, hold you back, Annika.”

Seven tilted her head. “Even so, I wish I could be here, as your friend.”

He gave a quiet sigh but his expression remained calm, almost relieved. “Thank you. That means a lot to me. But I think we both know that your place isn’t here, and certainly not _down_ here,” he added with a glance around his cell. “It’s out there. Fighting the Borg. With your friend Axum, if that’s what you want.”

Seven frowned curiously. “You know about Axum? About my previous personal relationship with him?”

He gave a brief nod. “The captain told me about him after we had to destroy Unimatrix 0. I hope you won’t begrudge her for telling me. She was just proud of you for acknowledging having that kind of human connection with another person.” He paused and gave her a gentle smile. “You’ve come a long way, Annika.”

His compliment reassured her that he truly didn’t blame her for leaving. For leaving _him._ For leaving them all. Even if it was only temporary.

“Thank you. I should go,” she said as she looked toward the cellblock doors. “I doubt our _new captain_ would look kindly to my being late.” She couldn’t quite keep the disdain from seeping through her tone.

“What new captain?” Chakotay asked, frowning.

“Starfleet has assigned Captain Stedvak to replace Captain Janeway while she is on leave.”

“I see,” he replied, his frown deepening. “I didn’t think they would send Voyager,” he added to himself.

Seven inhaled slowly. “I confess, I am loathe to work with him.”

He recovered and raised a teasing eyebrow. “Not a favorite of yours, then?”

“Far from it. Let me just say that Captain Janeway will be sorely missed. But I know this has been hard on her as well.” She took in another deep breath. “I really must be on my way.”

He nodded. “Good luck. Bring me back a souvenir from the Beta Quadrant.”

Seven smiled faintly, recognizing his attempt at humor. But then she met his gaze earnestly. “Good luck to you, Chakotay. I wish I could be of help to you, but I have no doubt that the captain is much better suited to the task.”

One corner of his mouth quirked up a little higher than the other. “I’ll see you when you get back. Take care, Annika.”

She nodded. “And you.”

And with one last look she left, feeling as if an immense weight had been lifted off her shoulders. That, she realized, had been the weight of her guilt.

And now she was free of it.

ooooOoooo

The last few days had passed quickly for Mea. She’d tried to visit Mr. Chakotay as often as her duty permitted, but she’d had reports to produce, and a new assignment had taken her away from the office for an entire day. Add to that the assignments for her night class at university on 23rd-century legal history, which had kept her away from the cellblocks for two afternoons in a row. However she could not forget Captain Janeway’s request to make sure that this particular prisoner didn’t lose hope, and she always took her duty seriously.

In the end she had decided to keep him busy with Starfleet regulations that she believed would relate to his case directly or indirectly, and books. A lot of books. Despite his jokes of ‘just how long do you think I’ll be here for?’ or ‘I don’t think I read quite as fast as you would like me to,’ he seemed to appreciate her efforts.

“Why are you being so kind to me?” He’d asked her once, after she brought him a paper copy of Shakespeare’s Hamlet she’d found in the archives.

Mea had been unwilling to divulge Captain Janeway’s request, or to admit her own long-lasting admiration of the Voyager crew, so she had merely shrugged.

On other occasions, Mea had just sat with him. Sometimes they would speak: he was able to coax some personal stories out of her, stories about her background, her hopes, her ambitions to further her studies, and how she’d been raised by her Vulcan aunt since age 14. Sometimes he took his turn and told her about Voyager and their adventures in the Delta Quadrant (those were her favorite stories). And sometimes they didn’t really say anything at all. Mea would bring her own reading material, and they’d both read on their respective side of the force field. The ghost of a smile on his lips told her he was pleased with the kind of basic companionship she was offering just by being there. She was aware that she was probably giving him too much attention not to be noticed, but the curious and empathetic part of her – the part she’d definitely inherited from her human father’s side – fed her desire to help him in what she perceived as an unjust situation. But what she had not anticipated was how easy it was to actually befriend him.

Several days after Chakotay’s arrest, she was called back to the admiral’s office. In light of her visits and suspicions, the request made her anxious. However, she was still determined to figure out what the admiral’s endgame was, so she told herself that this could be an opportunity.

The admiral was engaged in a conversation with someone on his computer monitor that Mea couldn’t see when Mike opened the door to let her in. Her ears picked up a fragmented piece of the admiral’s interlocutor’s words and she perked up at the topic, committing to memory everything that was said.

“… everything’s in place, but, Admiral, the chances that the captain will permanently relent the ship are slim. Especially being a favorite of the admiralty. It’s going to take some persuasion. Captain Stedvak really needs to not mess up this opportunity to show his worth. They handed it to him on a silver platter, and it was no easy feat to get him in that chair.”

Admiral Larks flicked his eyes to Mea as she entered, before returning his gaze to the monitor. “Well, I can’t tell Simon how to do his job where he’s going, but it so happens that persuasion is one of my most prized skills. Thank you for your input. We’ll finish this later.”

He terminated the communication and leaned back in his chair as he gestured Mea to walk closer.

“Ensign Tagashi,” he greeted agreeably. “Tell me, how is Mr. Chakotay faring down below?” He stood and used a pitcher from his desk to water a plant by the large window. By the looks of the dry browned leaves, it was about time.

Mea forced herself to keep her expression neutral, like her aunt’s, though she was still rattled by the bribe of conversation she had heard. She had learned that the admiral’s son had been assigned to Voyager for a mission with the Borg, but until now she had not really considered that it might all be part of the admiral’s endgame. _What was he after?_ It couldn’t be a coincidence that his son had been chosen to replace Captain Janeway. “He seems fine, Admiral. He hasn’t given us any trouble, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I heard he’s been getting a lot of gifts. From you.” His tone was still conversational, but Mea tensed at the pointed glare he gave her.

“Not gifts, sir. Books to keep him busy. I figure it’s the best way to keep him from planning mischief,” she added, surprised at how easily the lie came to her. Her Vulcan ancestors must be turning in their graves. “Isn’t that part of my duties, sir?”

He threw her a skeptical glance, but her neutral expression must have been convincing because he quickly moved on. “Fine. Let him keep the books. Also, do let him know that the date of his trial has been set. It’s on the 29th.”

Mea couldn’t quite hide her surprise. “Of this month?” That was the day after tomorrow… and Captain Janeway had still not returned. She schooled her expression before the admiral glanced at her again. “Very well, I’ll inform the prisoner.”

Mea hesitated and stood quietly for a moment. He looked at her when he sensed her hesitation. “Was there something else, Ensign?”

“Actually, yes sir. As you know, I am pursuing my legal studies at university while I serve this office, and I was hoping that you would grant me access to some of your old cases.”

Larks smiled, flattered by her interest, and the expression was genuine, if curious. “Any cases in particular?”

“I confess, given recent events, I have taken a new interest in better understanding the Federation’s relationship to militias, such as the Maquis movement.” He frowned, but not suspiciously so, so Mea pushed on. “After discussing this with my mentor, I have decided to explore the socio-political impetus for self-governing military entities in a post-state society. Treason cases are so rare, the few ones from the last few years would provide incredible datasets for this study.”

He stared at her for a moment, as if trying to figure out if she had an ulterior motive – or if anyone in their right minds could actually find this topic of interest. Mea kept her expression a mix of mild eagerness and apprehension.

After a moment he moved again and returned to sit behind his desk. “That sounds fascinating, Ensign. I hope you’ll let me read it when you’re done with your research.”

Mea let herself smile hopefully. “Does this mean I have access, sir?”

“You do. Ask Mike, he’ll give you the proper clearance.”

Mea let her smile widen. “Thank you, sir.”

He nodded. “Dismissed.”

Mea tried to contain her self-satisfied smile as she exited the office. A couple of days before, she had been contacted by Lieutenant Torres, the very same lieutenant who served as Chief Engineer on Voyager. She had asked Mea for anything she could find on Larks’ past and current career, especially anything regarding his dealings with the Maquis. Accessing those files would fit that description, while it would also provide Mea herself with a baseline to compare the admiral’s work over the last few years against his treatment of the Maquis, and to start to confirm or deny her hypothesis that his attitude was related to a personal matter. Her duplicitous behavior left a knot in her stomach, but, she reminded herself, this was for a cause worthier than her own personal feelings.

oooOooo

Far above Earth’s atmosphere, Seven took her position on the bridge of Voyager. She couldn’t help the ripple of excitement that coursed through her as the officer at the helm took her position.

“Alright, Lieutenant,” Captain Stedvak said from Janeway’s chair, “let’s get this show on the road.”

 

END PART I


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: With Kathryn’s return to Earth, the two parallel “timelines” are now converging…_

 

PART II: The Edge of Justice

_Stardate 54999.22 (May 28 th 2378)_

Chakotay’s head perked up from the pages of his book when he heard the telltale hissing sound of the cellblock doors opening, and he smirked to himself. “Ensign, if you’ve come to bring me one more book, I think I’m gonna need a larger cell,” he called as he returned his attention to Kathryn’s copy of The Inferno.

Really, he appreciated Tagashi’s efforts to get him actual paper copies of books since he preferred them to the digital or even holographic versions, but maybe she was taking his request a little _too_ seriously. She had brought him so many volumes Chakotay had run out of room on his desk. Besides, the Inferno was the one book he kept returning to, especially when he felt a little low, or wondered where the owner might be. Or when he simply missed her. Which meant he had read the whole thing once already while he’d been here, and now he was perusing his favorite passages to distract himself from thoughts that seemed to be growing more dismal by the day.

One particularly agreeable surprise had been to find Kathryn’s handwritten note tucked into the first pages of The Inferno. _We’ll get you through this circle of hell Chakotay,_ it read, _this is my new promise to you. And you know me well enough to know that I will not rest until I fulfill it. In the meantime, I hope Dante’s words bring you as much comfort as they’ve brought me over the years ~ Yours, Kathryn_

He’d reread it time and time again, until he’d convinced himself that Kathryn probably always dedicated such presents with ‘yours.’

“No books, today,” Tagashi replied, her voice telling him she was now standing in front of his cell. “Just some visitors.”

Chakotay looked over his shoulder and immediately sprang to his feet, his heart lurching in his chest at the sight that greeted him. “Kathryn! You’re back, where have you-” He was so entranced by the intent look in her eyes, he did a double take when he realized she wasn’t alone. He blinked in surprise, as if his eyes were deceiving him. “Takayla? What-”

Kathryn stopped him with a raised hand. “I know what you’re going to say, but please understand that I only followed my instincts, and my instincts told me your sister would be the best person to do this.”

Chakotay couldn’t help but flick his stare between Kathryn and his sister, stunned. So _this_ was what Kathryn had been doing, these last few days! He might be angry with her later, but at the moment he was too astonished to feel anything other than raw joy and relief. He and his sister had exchanged some strained communications over the last few years, and he’d messaged her as soon as Voyager escaped the Delta Quadrant, but the last time he’d seen her in person had been over eight years ago.

_You and your stupid Maquis can all go to hell! I hate you! I hate you…_

Chakotay shook himself from the memory of a grief-stricken, and very pregnant, Takayla, and now met his sister’s gaze with a mix of awe and apprehension. He was taken aback when he recognized guilt in the twist of her eyebrow. After a moment, she gave a small, tentative smile as she searched his face. “Chak,” she greeted.

“What-” He croaked again, voice thick with emotion, as he turned his attention back to Kathryn.

“We’ll leave you two to catch up,” she said gently with a glance towards Mea. “I’ll head upstairs to inform Mr. Piosa of the change of representation, and to make arrangements for a place for you and Nim to stay while you’re on Earth,” she added for Takayla’s benefit. Nimkotay was here too? This made the whole thing doubly surprising! How in the world had Kathryn managed to get Takayla to come, and with her son, no less?

While Chakotay recovered from his surprise, Mea gestured for the security officer to disengage the force field and Takayla stepped into Chakotay’s cell.

The force field went up again, and Kathryn threw them one last look before she left with Ensign Tagashi. Chakotay had wanted to speak to her, longed to, actually, but given this development, he understood why she had to leave – she wanted him to have this moment uninterrupted with his sister. More than that, she was giving him an opportunity to repair the breach that had estranged him from Takayla, and he was grateful. One more thing to thank her for.

To love her for. Not that he needed reasons. At this point his love for her was as immutable as the laws of the universe she held so dear. In retrospect it had been exceedingly naïve to think he could ever stop.

He turned his attention back to Takayla for a moment, studying her, trying to reconcile the features of this mature woman with his memories of her, and with the poor quality of the video feed they had exchanged over the last few years.

“You brought Nimkotay along?” Chakotay asked eventually.

Takayla nodded. “He’s staying with Tom and B’Elanna for the time being. We’re having dinner with them later tonight.”

Chakotay nodded, not quite able to stop staring at Takayla. She moved and dropped herself in his chair, her movements calculatingly nonchalant. At that moment, she looked exactly like her teenager self, and Chakotay almost grinned.

“She’s not what I imagined. Your Captain Janeway,” she started with a crooked smile as she leaned back, lifted her feet to the mattress of his bed and crossed her ankles, as if she was fifteen again and teasing him about his latest crush. As if the air between them wasn’t tense with too many unsaid apologies and grief. It was her words that grabbed his attention, though.

Over their communications of the last couple of years, he’d told Takayla and Nim stories about Voyager’s adventures and, of course, Kathryn had played a central part in his tales. But it was only shortly after his trip through the temporal anomaly that had fractured Voyager into various timelines that he’d shared his frustrations with Takayla. He still recalled how weary, and even a little angry – and maybe even a little drunk, after drinking that cider with the captain – he’d been that night he’d spilled everything out to his sister. The fact that the younger Kathryn had recognized their chemistry so quickly had made him realize just how comfortable his Kathryn had grown with the status quo. Too comfortable. While she’d told him about terrifying storms on the plains and lightning striking trees, he’d realized that _he_ no longer could be satisfied by his unrequited admiration. Kathryn certainly had never given him any reason to hope that she would one day be willing to challenge the way things stood between them. He’d even convinced himself that he would always remain “the best friend” in her eyes. It was only recently that his convictions had been shaken.

“What did you imagine?” He now asked as he nudged Takayla’s feet off the bed, making them hit the floor with a thud, and sat in their stead.

“A pedestal, for one. A very high one, stuck underneath her feet.”

Chakotay couldn’t help the snorting chuckle that escaped him at both the teasing and the image that she had put in his mind.

“But,” Takayla went on, still grinning wryly, as she grabbed a book from his desk to read the title, “I’m willing to acknowledge that she does have certain redeeming qualities that almost make up for her being Starfleet.”

“That’s high praise indeed.” Chakotay replied as he watched her put the book back. He sighed. “Takayla. I’m really glad you’re here, I feel like I’m still struggling to believe…” He shook his head in confusion. “Takayla, _why_ are you here?”

She tensed for a moment, but soon her lips quirked up into her trademark mischievous, dimpled smile – one he’d often been told they shared. This one didn’t reach her eyes, though. “I’m here to get you out of trouble, what else?”

“That’s not what I meant.” What he should have asked was: _why did you agree to do this?_

“I know.” Suddenly she was serious, and the air in the room turned heavy, like dark clouds gathering on the horizon.

Chakotay sighed again as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his thighs. “Takayla, you don’t owe me anything. If anything, I’m the one who owes you… Starting with the fact that I owe you an apology. Or at least an explanation.” He paused as he searched for the right words. “What happened that day, with Denk, I want you to know that-”

“Chakotay,” Takayla interrupted quickly as she straightened in her seat. The teenager was gone. “Let’s not talk about this right now. I’m not here to fight with you, or to reopen old wounds. I’m here to get you out of this mess. Because families-”

“Stick together,” Chakotay finished with her and they shared a smile. It was something their father had told them over and over again.

“And we don’t have much time to prepare,” she went on, “so we better get to work.”

Chakotay nodded, eyeing her closely. The determined glint in her eyes that reminded him so much of their mother was back. Their conversations over the last few years had barely been normal – shy, but mutual efforts toward repairing their relationship – so he was amazed that she had been able to get over her resentment and suspicion of Starfleet to come all the way out here _to help him_. There were no words to express his gratitude and admiration for such generosity. Another trait that reminded him of their mother.

“Alright, counselor,” he teased, “where should we start?”

“For starters, is this where you usually meet your representative?” She asked dubiously as she glanced around the cell.

“No, there’s a meeting room for that.”

“Well then.” Takayla jumped to her feet and walked to the force field, straightening her clothes and standing taller. “Guard! Please escort us to the meeting room, I have things to discuss with my client.” There was no refusing her queenly tone and Chakotay grinned at the way the security officer almost ran to disengage the force field. It was amazing, the way she’d transitioned from his impetuous kid sister to this strong, solid professional that now stood in her shoes.

“Of course, ma’am,” the security officer stuttered as he punched in the code.

Takayla threw Chakotay a glance over her shoulder. “Let’s go. And stop grinning like an idiot.”

oooOooo

“Are we there yet?”

Seven glanced up from her console. Captain Stedvak had just stepped onto the bridge from his ready room, and he now made his way to his chair. Seven watched him coolly from her post behind his chair. She was still not habituated to having strangers with her on the bridge – each time she looked up she expected to see the familiar faces of Ensign Kim, Lieutenant Paris, Commander Tuvok, and of course, Chakotay and Captain Janeway.

However Seven had always prided herself on her ability to adapt. And so she would. Seven was glad the Doctor had decided to join this mission. Knowing that he was in his sickbay, as per usual, made her feel a little less lonely.

Stedvak’s first officer, Commander Peres, stood to attention. “As a matter of fact Captain, we’re just reaching the rendezvous coordinates now.”

“Good,” Stedvak replied as he dropped himself into the captain’s chair. “Let’s slow down to half impulse. Transmit those orders to Uang. Let’s see what’s out there.”

“Aye Captain.”

The viewscreen came online and Seven looked up to assess the situation. The two Federation starships were just coming up to the verge of a twin star system harboring, among other things, two M-class planets. There was no sign of an alien vessel, let alone Species 8472’s presence in the system.

They waited for several seconds until the captain turned to Seven impatiently. “Well?”

Seven shrugged and-

The vision came abruptly, so suddenly it was painful and Seven crunched up her face against the pain, her hands going up to press against her temples. She had never communicated telepathically directly with Species 8472 before, not without the aid of her alcove – and in fact she hadn’t known it to be possible. In their previous encounters, they had always used an individual with telepathic abilities, such as Commander Tuvok. But just like that, a member of Species 8472 appeared in her mind, relaying instructions to her in a telepathic way that Seven couldn’t fathom, where language did not matter. They weren’t using words, merely transferring knowledge. It was peculiar, yet not so dissimilar to the way Borg drones assimilated information.

“They have arrived,” Seven announced as her eyes searched in vain for Species 8472’s vessel. “They require us to turn down all primary power. Electromagnetic fields could disrupt the field of transference and harm us or our ship systems.”

The captain stood to his feet to better face her, a worried frown on his face. “We turn off power, we’re sitting ducks.” There was more than mild concern in his voice, but Seven felt no sympathy for him. He had requested this assignment, had he not? He should be prepared for the consequences. No one had said this mission would be easy, or safe.

She sighed impatiently. “If Species 8472 wanted to harm us or our ships, they could do so regardless of our power status. Their technological prowess is well beyond the Federation’s.”

The captain rubbed his chin in indecision for a moment, before he dropped himself into his chair again. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” he mumbled before nodding to Commander Peres, who relayed the order ship-wide. Apparently the crew aboard Aspire had had similar instructions, as Seven noticed on the viewscreen how their companion ship’s lights and thrusters had gone dark. Both ships were now weightlessly drifting on the verge of the system - waiting.

The alien retreated from her mind and Seven let out a relieved breath. As they all watched, a singularity slowly opened ahead, and Seven observed with some satisfaction as Stedvak shifted uneasily at the sight. Fluidic space was now visible beyond the event horizon of the singularity, and soon an immense organic-looking vessel crossed the barrier. Species 8472. It stopped several hundreds of kilometers from the two Federation starships – but the bioship was so large that just a small portion of their hull completely filled the viewscreen. A beam shot out of the alien vessel and Voyager rocked when the beam hit its hull.

“I believe they are surrounding the ship with a protective sheen,” Seven stated, anticipating the question.

“Like a shield?” Captain Stedvak asked.

Seven hesitated. “A bubble would be a more appropriate metaphor. It will protect the ships from radiation and structural warping as we go through the process.”

He shifted in his seat uneasily again. After several minutes, the sheening process stopped, and the alien ship activated a second beam, a tractor beam.

“Prepare yourself-”

Without warning and before Seven could finish her sentence, the alien ship moved extraordinarily fast back toward fluidic space, both Voyager and Aspire in tow. The acceleration was such that Seven had to close her eyes – she held on to her console as best as she could. It only lasted for several seconds, but Seven was nonetheless relieved when the ships decelerated again. She immediately felt queasy, as if her innards were just catching up to the rest of her body. By the faint groans that filled the bridge, she was not the only one.

She quickly told herself to focus elsewhere. It would pass.

Judging by the view on the screen, they were now in fluidic space. The alien ship still held them in their tractor beam, and Seven could see Aspire in its strange yellowish bubble through the viewscreen, next to them.

“Engineering, what’s our status?” Stedvak asked after a moment. His face had grown a great deal paler.

“Nothing to report, Captain. We’re exactly as we were before,” the disembodied voice replied through the communication system.

As they spoke Seven’s gaze was drawn to the viewscreen again, where the bioship was opening a new singularity. She wondered how far they had traveled in a mere few seconds. Would this opening take them to the Beta Quadrant? To the Resistance? To Axum?

Seven swallowed against the sudden dryness of her mouth.

“Alright, here we go,” the captain warned this time, his hands clutching his armrests again. Seven had to admit, she envied him his seated position at this particular moment.

The rushing acceleration shook Voyager and its crew once again. The sensation lasted for longer this time, and Seven tried to clear her mind of the discomforts her body was experiencing – the headache, the queasiness in her stomach, the blood withdrawing from her head and extremities – to focus on searching for a new telepathic link. She wasn’t expecting one, but the exercise kept her mind busy.

And suddenly the sensations stopped and Seven was thrown forward against the console as all three ships lurched to a stop. Before she even had a chance to open her eyes and regain some composure, a hard blow rocked the ship, startling the bridge officers into surprised attention.

“What the hell…?” Captain Stedvak said numbly. Seven could not see his expression from where she stood, but she could imagine him blinking incomprehensibly.

It was Commander Peres who recovered first. “Get primary systems back on, NOW!”

“Captain, we were just hit by a Borg beam!” The crewwoman in tactical shouted, panic and confusion tainting her tone.

“What?” The captain asked, apparently still dazed.

Peres barely spared him a look as he pushed himself to his feet. “Red alert! Evasive maneuvers! Bring that viewscreen back online!” he bellowed.

When the screen came online again, Seven was shocked to realize that Species 8472 had dropped off the two starships right in the middle of a skirmish between three Borg cubes and five smaller, disparate starships.

Her breath caught in her throat.

The Resistance!

From the looks of the battle, it was not going particularly well for the Resistance vessels.

“Arm photon and transphasic torpedoes,” Peres ordered. “Fire.”

Seven barely heard him, her eyes were glued to the smaller ships buzzing around the Borg cubes like annoying insects. Right under her eyes, one of the Borg cubes suddenly exploded and she blinked against the brightness.

By then the captain appeared to have recovered. “Engineering, are the special torpedoes you and the Doctor prepared ready?”

It was the Doctor who replied. “They are, Captain. However I should warn you that infecting a transphasic torpedo with a Borg pathogen has never been tested before…”

“There’s no time like the present,” Stedvak interrupted, his expression now eager. “Fire at will.”

oooOooo

After she left Chakotay with his sister, Kathryn decided to make a much-needed stop at her new quarters at Starfleet HQ before her appointment with Admiral Hayes and the dinner with Tom and B’Elanna. She had a few hours before either of those things, and she was in dire need of a change of clothes, a shower, and some food – and not necessarily in that order. She also needed to check for any communications on her comlink to make sure that she hadn’t missed anything vital over the last few days. She figured that if anything urgent had happened, someone would have contacted her or Admiral Hayes would have told her, but still, she wanted to make sure.

Chakotay hadn’t seemed too upset with her for going behind his back to get his sister involved. Well, she supposed there was still time for some anger to simmer once he overcame his surprise. However it would be worth it – even if, heaven forbid, Takayla couldn’t help Chakotay in the end – it would be worth it, if only for having seen the happiness in Chakotay’s expression when he saw Takayla. Because her first glimpse of him had been worrying: Chakotay had looked tired and resigned, if not downright sullen. But seeing his sister appeared to galvanize him. Good. He couldn’t give up, not now when they might actually have a chance of getting him out of this. Ensign Tagashi had told her that the date of Chakotay’s trial had been set to start in less than 24 (Earth) hours. A ruthless kind of panic had gripped Kathryn by the gut and refused to let go ever since. But at this point there wasn’t much she herself could do, except give Takayla all the help and resources she needed.

In her new quarters, the piles of boxes containing her personal effects had been delivered in her absence, and Kathryn looked in dismay at the quantity of them scattered around the room. She was too tired to do anything with them at the moment, and she suddenly found herself missing the comforts and the familiarity of her Voyager quarters. Well, there was no point in lingering on that right now.

She skimmed through the boxes quickly to get the basics – clothing, personal hygiene items – before going for the shower. On her way, she activated the audio of the missed communications stored on her comlink so she could listen to them while she undressed and showered.

“Stardate 54990.41 _._ Captain,” Kathryn paused from removing her jacket when she recognized Tuvok’s matter-of-fact tone. “I know you have left on a shuttle earlier this afternoon, but I thought it might be of interest to you to know that Voyager has been processed and readied for its new commission. Furthermore, the transfer of our crew, data and cargo to the docking station went without major issues.” Kathryn returned to divesting herself and she stepped into the shower as she listened to him detailing his actions and minor problems he had encountered. After a long and precise listing of his verifications, he finished his report with: “Since Captain Stedvak has taken over the command of Voyager, my current duty appears to end here. Please inform me as to any further matter that you need me to attend to. I hope your endeavor has proven fruitful. Tuvok out.”

By the time Tuvok trailed off, Kathryn was out of the shower, and dressed with a fresh uniform. She was styling her hair when the next message started.

It was a joint message from Seven and the Doctor, apprising her of their journey to the rendezvous coordinates. At the time of their message, they had been scheduled to make contact with Species 8472 the next day, so this was their last chance to report to her (as per Kathryn’s request) before they left for the Beta Quadrant and got too far for communication. Seven was as succinct as ever in her description, though Kathryn could tell she shared her own dislike of the younger captain. The Doctor, however, had no such qualms, and he was much more generous with his complaints of Stedvak and some of his crew.

Kathryn was still shaking her head at the Doctor’s dramatic tales when the next message started.

“Katie, honey, your sister and I are so happy that you are safely returned to us at last, we were just so worried!” _Mom._ Kathryn found herself smiling as she listened to the message, which was so wonderfully ordinary that Kathryn almost choked on the rise of a tearful lump in her throat. “I know we spoke a few of days ago, but I just wanted you to know, we are making arrangements to meet you in San Francisco as soon as your sister’s crazy schedule permits. You know how she is. We’ve missed you so much, honey! You know, as I grow older, I realize that nothing could make me happier than having my two daughters with me! Well, I’m rambling, and I’m sure you’re very busy. So we’ll let you know our itinerary from Indiana soon! Love you, honey!”

Kathryn was still smiling fondly when the next message started. “Kathryn, this is Mark. Johnson. I, um…” Kathryn’s smile fell, and she dropped herself on the edge of the bed in shock at the sound of the familiar timbre of his voice. “I’m not contacting you to make this awkward, but I just wanted to let you know that, well, that I’m relived to hear you’re safe, and back among us. I swear Mollie still misses you, and I’m sure she’d love to see you again. And I would too, of course. I know we can’t go back in time, but I hope that you at least can find it in your heart to still consider me a friend. That’s all, so… I wish you the best, Kath. Only the best. Bye.”

Kathryn huffed out a breath, unsure how to feel about this one. She had moved on from Mark, gradually but surely over the years, but it was unsettling to hear his voice after all these years. Maybe she should return his call, so they could both get the closure they needed. The closure they deserved. Not now, though, she had too much on her mind (and on her plate) to even think about him at the moment.

“Kathryn,” Kathryn’s attention snapped to the next communication when she recognized Chakotay’s voice. She’d always liked the way he said her name, but this particular utterance, the way the ‘thr’ slid off his tongue as her name came out on a breath, sent a shiver down her spine. He had to have recorded that message only one or two days ago, and she couldn’t stop herself from imagining him recording this from the JIG’s cellblocks. She found herself clutching the hairbrush she was still holding tightly against her chest as she stood to her feet and made her way slowly to the computer, as if attracted by a siren call.

Chakotay’s voice spoke on. “I’ve been told I can send communications if the receiver has been vetted beforehand, and apparently you pass the test. It helps to have friends in high places.” There was humor and teasing in his voice, and Kathryn smiled shakily. “Well, it’s been a few days since you left, so I’m just wondering where you are, and how your search is going. B’Elanna and Miral stopped by yesterday, but they refused to tell me anything. Miral was especially tight-lipped about it. Seven stopped by too, just before she left, but she didn’t know where you were either. And Ensign Tagashi keeps bringing me books, I think she’s trying to keep my mind off things. But anyway… I guess, what I’m trying to say is that… I hope you’re okay, and… I miss you.” The tugging she felt in her chest increased at the way he spoke the last part, as if he’d surprised even himself with the words. He cleared his throat. “I suppose, after spending all those years side by side on the bridge, it’s only to be expected, right? But anyway, they have a date for my trial. It feels like they’re trying to rush it. Maybe your gut feelings about something being amiss are right after all. So,” he sighed. “I don’t know how this is going to go, or even if you’ll be back before it starts. But I want you to know that, whatever happens, I will always be indebted to you, for giving me a second chance, for letting me find peace within myself, and most of all, for allowing me to become your friend. I wish-”, he stopped himself before letting out an audible sigh. “Well, I hope I’ll see you soon.”

Kathryn took a moment to collect her thoughts – and her feelings – from the rollercoaster of emotions these few messages had kindled. But she couldn’t let herself be distracted. So she used her anxieties and her determination to summon some strength, for Chakotay’s sake.

With renewed determination, she pushed herself off her chair and got some coffee from the replicator. The day was still young, and there was still plenty to do before her scheduled coffee meeting with Admiral Hayes later that afternoon. She unpacked some of the most pressing items from the boxes and crates, left a message on her mother’s comlink telling her that she was looking forward to her visit.

Once that was done, her next task was to get in touch with Tuvok and free him of the temporary responsibilities she had bestowed upon him. It was about time she sent him home to his family, he more than deserved it! She called him through her combadge, and was relieved to hear from him that he had not left for Vulcan yet. She went to meet him in his temporary quarters and stayed for about an hour.

By the time she left Tuvok to his travel planning, it was almost time for her meeting with Admiral Hayes. The main point for this meeting was to discuss the plans for the official welcoming and promotion ceremony. They also talked about the promotion that the admiralty had offered her, and Kathryn was able to get answers to some of her questions.

Not very long into the discussion, the topic veered inevitably toward the upcoming trial, Admiral Larks, and Kathryn’s unshakable suspicions that his motives in his pursuit of Chakotay were not entirely righteous.

That’s when Hayes decided to drop the bombshell.

“Of course,” he told her matter-of-factly, “with his son currently occupying your captain’s chair on Voyager, it’s not outside the realm of possibility that Larks might be trying to use Chakotay’s trial as leverage to obtain something from you. Possibly Voyager herself. Despite the Starfleet uniform, he’s a politician through and through.”

It took Kathryn a full two seconds to process the words. “Wait. Simon Stedvak is Admiral Larks’ son?”

Hayes seemed surprised that she hadn’t known. “Stepson, actually.”

Stedvak’s triumphant smirk flashed through her mind. Was his appointment somehow connected to Chakotay’s trial and his father’s apparent desire to see Chakotay punished? If so, how did the two relate to each other? Kathryn rubbed her forehead in suddenly intense worry. Not only about Chakotay’s trial, but about Seven, and Voyager. She leaned forward to meet Hayes’s eyes. “Admiral, you _knew_ of my suspicions about Larks, why would you agree to let Stedvak take my ship?” She asked, not caring that her sudden fear made her voice tremble.

“Because we needed a last-minute replacement for you, and he was one of the few ranked captains available on such short notice. He wasn’t my personal choice, but as you know my voice was only one of several.”

Kathryn let out a shaky sigh as she leaned back into her chair. Something suddenly occurred to her. She leaned forward again to meet Hayes’ eyes. “Admiral, please tell me that this promotion you’re offering me has nothing to do with this. Please tell me that if I had accepted it when you first offered it… that Captain Stedvak was not the one who was going to be assigned to Voyager. Because if that’s the case, I can’t accept this promotion. I can’t give up Voyager to someone I don’t believe is worthy of what she’s been through.”

Admiral Hayes sighed in sympathy. “The idea for the promotion came from _me_ Kathryn. I assure you, it was never meant as a way to undercut you, or take you away from your ship. It was only meant as a show of confidence in your ability to lead, and as a way to reward your determination and resourcefulness while you were in the Delta Quadrant. As for your intended replacement, I was hoping to get suggestions from you. Stedvak’s candidacy was never on the table for any permanent command. At least not in my book.”

Kathryn stared into his eyes as he spoke, trying to determine if he spoke the truth, if she could trust him. He held her gaze steadily and Kathryn found she had no reason to mistrust him now. Not after everything he’d done to help her so far. He might be a little naïve, for not seeing what was clearly happening around him – or for not wanting to – but that didn’t mean she couldn’t trust him.

He sighed. “That said, you might be onto something with Larks’ motives. Unless you win this case, Kathryn, you might have a very difficult choice to make.”

“But why? And why Voyager? Starfleet has hundreds of starships, why would he want this one?”

Hayes gave a small shrug. “Well, my guess is it wouldn’t be for himself, of course, but for Simon. Voyager has some unique technology. And more importantly, symbolic capital. His son would gain prestige and respect. Two things that Larks seems to desire more than anything else.”

“So much for Starfleet moral high ground,” Kathryn muttered disdainfully. She had to resist the urge to jump to her feet to pace, and instead dug her fingers into her hair. “With this suspicion, isn’t there anything you can do to stop the trial? Withdraw the charges?”

Hayes shook his head apologetically. “I’m afraid that wouldn’t even be ground enough for the admiralty to intervene in the Justice Inquirer General’s affairs – and I’m talking about the institution, here. After all, even if Larks is the one who encouraged the admirals to press charges against the Maquis, there _was_ a vote. So, unless you can prove corruption, professional misconduct, dereliction of duty, or any other criminal acts in the eyes of Starfleet’s judicial system, I don’t have the authority to intervene.”

Kathryn left the admiral soon after that, mind racing, still rattled from the conversation. By then it was time to meet up with Takayla and accompany her to Tom and B’Elanna’s new quarters for dinner. So Kathryn made her way back to the JIG’s buildings, thoughts scrambling through her mind as she walked through the familiar streets. She hadn’t heard from B’Elanna, and she was now impatient to learn if the lieutenant had found out anything about Larks that could help them figure out what the hell was going on, or if there was any connection between him and the Maquis – or if he was just doing it for his son’s benefit.

Weren’t sons usually the ones trying to prove themselves to their fathers, and not the other way around?

_Prestige and respect. Two things that Larks seems to desire more than anything else._ What if Larks wasn’t really doing it for his son, but for himself? For his own reputation? While Kathryn hated to base judgment on first impressions, Stedvak had impressed her as lazy, as someone who was used to being handed what they wanted without working for it. And Seven’s and the Doctor’s testimonies only seemed to reaffirm that. Was Larks ashamed of Stedvak for not having his own ship? A sudden rage swelled up in her at the thought – if Larks was prosecuting Chakotay just because he was ashamed of his stepson… She couldn’t even finish the thought, it was too maddening.

Anger made her walk with newfound determination as Kathryn passed through the JIG main doors. Ensign Tagashi’s shift had ended earlier, so Kathryn made her way through the security and the cellblock doors down to Chakotay’s cell on her own. She nodded to the security officer standing in his usual corner – he had become something of a familiar fixture.

It was quiet in the block – _the quiet before the storm,_ Kathryn thought _–_ and when she stepped in front of Chakotay’s cell, he was sitting at his desk with his back to her, his head in his hands. There was no sign of Takayla. Seeing him like this only fueled her anger, but almost immediately it was replaced with a deep swell of protectiveness and affection. She decided to hold on to those emotions instead, and keep her anger for later, for when she would confront Larks. Because there was no way she wouldn’t confront him. There was no way she could let Chakotay go through all this without at least making sure that it was for the right reason. If there was even such a thing anymore.

“Chakotay,” Kathryn called softly, but her voice still echoed loudly in the quiet of the corridor.

Chakotay startled and he swiveled in his chair. He looked exhausted, even more so than he had in the morning, his hair flatter than usual and a beginning of stubble darkening his jaw, but his expression brightened when he saw her. He stood to his feet and came to stand before her, hands on his hips. His lips quirked into a tired smile. Kathryn felt her pulse accelerate at the sight. After the revelations of earlier – and the stress of the last few days – she wanted nothing else than to be able to touch him, to lean against him and feel his arms around her, strong and – she would expect – somehow familiar. The thought shocked her; she couldn’t remember ever being this _aware_ of him before, or of needing him to comfort her in such a way.

Maybe she was just finally ready to _let him._

“Where’s Takayla?” She asked curiously.

“She went to get some coffee.”

“How are you holding up?”

He inhaled before releasing the air slowly. “I’m fine. To be honest I’m getting to the point where I just want to get it over with. It’s the not knowing, the hope, that’s the hardest to bear.” He shrugged it off before returning his earnest gaze to her. “Takayla told me everything you did to get her here, and to help me.” He paused, his eyes boring into hers. “Thank you.”

Kathryn sighed, raising her hand to touch him but stopping when she remembered there was a force field between them. “I only wish I could do more.”

He shook his head. “Are you kidding? You’ve done more for me than anyone else ever has. You’ve done more for me than I probably deserve. I don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance to repay you.”

Kathryn tried to infuse as much determination in her voice when she answered. She had never expected him to repay her anything, but she knew he wouldn’t accept that. “You will.”

He gave a faint smile and Kathryn’s heart lifted a little.

“How are _you_ holding up?”

“Me?” Kathryn blinked, though she shouldn’t be surprised at his ability to see through her – to see that something was bothering her.

“I saw Seven before she left,” he explained, “she stopped by and told me what was happening. With Voyager. And its new captain.”

Kathryn shook her head dismissively. The last thing she wanted was to add to his burden by telling him of her discovery about Stedvak’s connection to Larks, and possibly to his case. He would find out eventually, but at the moment Kathryn was still too raw to be able to talk about it. Even with him. “Oh I’m fine. It’s only temporary.” As the words left her mouth, she realized she meant them.

She wasn’t ready to give up Voyager just yet. She wasn’t ready to give up her captain’s chair. Not yet.

Chakotay gazed at her for a little longer, as if trying to read her mind, but then he shifted, briefly tugging on his earlobe in a familiar gesture. “By the way, I got your note,” he said. “In the book.” He didn’t say anything else about it, but the acknowledgment in itself seemed to convey much more than anything else. He understood, then, what she had meant by it.

“And I got your message,” she replied with a raised eyebrow. “Actually,” she lowered her voice, “I’m glad I’ve caught you alone because…” Kathryn licked her lips, fighting the sudden dryness of her mouth and the mad rhythm of her heart as she searched his eyes. “Well, I’ve been meaning to say, I’ve missed you too. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve turned around, expecting to find you there. So you’d better not give up on getting out of here. Otherwise I’ll be talking to myself a lot, and that’s not gonna fly with my superiors.”

The moment was charged despite Kathryn’s joking, so she wasn’t surprised when he didn’t smile. “Kathryn,” he started hesitantly, “if I don’t get out of it – we have to prepare ourselves-”

Kathryn raised her hand to interrupt him. “I don’t want to hear it, Chakotay.”

He released a long breath, but didn’t push it. Their eyes locked again, and Kathryn was reminded of the last time they had stood like this, air charged. She was about a hair away from asking him what he’d meant when he’d mentioned his relationship with Seven being doomed to fail, when Takayla came through the cellblock doors. The smell of her coffee followed her through one second later, and Kathryn shared one last glance with Chakotay before she turned her attention to Takayla.

“Captain, I didn’t expect to find you here so early,” Takayla said when she spotted her.

“Actually, it’s past 7pm. I’m your designated guide. I’m here to take you to Tom and B’Elanna’s house for dinner.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize it was so late. Of course.” She checked her bag, as if to make sure she had everything she needed. “I’m ready when you are, Captain.” She turned to Chakotay. “I’ll see you tomorrow Chak. Try to get some rest. It’ll be alright, you’ll see.”

He nodded somberly before meeting Kathryn’s eyes again. Something passed between them and Kathryn gave a small nod as well. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

oooOooo


	12. Chapter 12

Voyager shook as the Borg weapon hit its mark.

“Shields at 59%!”

“Return fire!”

Seven watched as the last of Voyager’s infected torpedoes sped through space and hit the Cube. There was a localized explosion, and in matter of seconds the Cube was seized by strangely colored electric surges. And then it darkened, its power fluctuating one last time before it faded.

“Sir, the last of the Borg vessels has been incapacitated successfully.”

Captain Stedvak stood to his feet and rubbed his hands together as he looked up at the drifting Cubes and various debris floating around them. “Good. Let’s get a closer look at those Cubes. Maybe we can salvage some of their technology.”

The battle had raged for a couple of hours. Voyager had sustained some minor damage, but no one had been injured in the attacks. One of the Resistance vessels had been lost, however, and Seven was anxious to make contact with the Resistance to help search for survivors. And make sure that Axum had not been on board.

“Sir, we’re being hailed by one of the Resistance vessels.”

“On screen.”

“Federation vessel, we thank you for your assistance.” There was no mistaking the smiling eyes and mischievous expression. Axum. Seven recognized him at once, her heart leaping in relief and recognition. He appeared much as he had in Unimatrix 0, but for shorter hair and a number of remaining Borg implants on his face and skull – much like Seven herself, he was still carrying the reminders of his life as a drone. However the playful, slightly arrogant grin and matching eyes were unchanged. She felt her cheeks burn at the sight of him.

Axum went on, though she thought his expression brightened ever so slightly when he spotted her behind the captain. “As unorganized as the Borg have become since they lost their queen, each battle is still a struggle. I am Axum, commander of this Resistance cell.”

“Axum,” Stedvak acknowledged, “we’re happy to help.” It didn’t sound altogether sincere, but Axum didn’t seem to care. “We’re new to this resistance thing, how do you suggest we proceed?”

Axum nodded. “Our first priority is to search for survivors – from all camps. We try to save as many drones as possible so as to return them to their original form.”

“As do we,” Seven added. “In fact, our torpe-”

She stopped when Stedvak raised a hand to silence her. Seven frowned at him.

“Let’s just say that’s what we want as well,” he said cautiously. Seven understood his caution about divulging too much information about their weaponry, of course, but if they were going to do this, to defeat the Borg, they would have to be transparent with their allies about their technology and their objectives. “We’ll help you with the survivors.”

“Thank you. Meanwhile, may I suggest we meet face to face to discuss the next plan of action?”

“All in due time. For now, let’s scan for survivors,” Stedvak ordered.

“Forgive my presumption,” Axum interjected, “but I sense some reluctance, Captain. I understand your caution, of course. However Annika Hansen will be able to assuage any doubt as to our intentions, I’m sure.”

Stedvak leaned toward Peres, giving him a confused glance. “Who?” He whispered, but it was loud enough that Seven heard. She rolled her eyes – how could he not know that Annika Hansen was her human name? Had he not looked at the crew’s personnel files before embarking upon this mission?

Peres threw Seven a subtle embarrassed and apologetic glance over his shoulder. At least _he_ recognized the captain’s blunder. “He’s referring to Seven of Nine, sir.” Peres fully turned in his seat to look up at her. “You mentioned before that you were acquainted with some of the Resistance, and we _are_ here at your request. What do you think?”

“Only that we are wasting precious time debating this matter. We _are_ here to help the Resistance, so I suggest we go back to doing so. We will take every precaution, but I assure you that you have nothing to fear from Axum. A meeting can only benefit all of us.”

“Fine,” the captain agreed. “Axum, we’ll transport your party as soon as you are ready.”

Axum gave a nod before his expression turned into a bright smile. It was the genuine, boyish grin that had made her heart beat faster in Unimatrix 0, and it didn’t fail to do so now. “And may I be the first to say,” he added proudly, “welcome to the first interstellar Resistance against the Borg, Federation.”

oooOooo

B’Elanna’s return to Earth had been busy, to say the least. Between the transfer to their temporary quarters, seeing to her daughter’s needs, briefing Starfleet Command about Voyager’s improved tech, and attempting to dig up some of Admiral Larks’ history at the captain’s request, she had barely had a moment to unpack, let alone think about what the return to Earth meant for her family. Did she even want to keep her commission? She had to admit, she had loved being Chief Engineer, and she knew Tom loved being a pilot. But what about Miral? She wondered whether Captain Janeway would allow them to bring Miral on board, when the crew returned to Voyager after their leave was over, and the ship returned from Seven of Nine’s crusade.

Whenever she’d had a little respite, B’Elanna had worked on the captain’s assignment and sifted through the old Maquis records she had been able to get on short notice. Mission reports, casualty reports, personnel history. Those were hard to come by since the Maquis had been careful not to leave official traces or logs that could incriminate its members. But B’Elanna still had contacts. Even though most of her former comrades were either dead or in prison, there were still a few places she had been able to look and prod, with varying degrees of success. Add to that the bunch of JIG files about its dealings with the Maquis that Ensign Tagashi had provided her a couple of days before.

For B’Elanna, those files were proof that the captain’s instinct had been correct regarding Admiral Larks’ personal involvement with the Maquis. She wasn’t sure about the admiral’s motives yet, but he had personally prosecuted all but one of those cases, and that was probably because that trial had been held on Bajor. One particular sentence in the transcript from the first Maquis trial (if it could be called that) from a few years prior had sent B’Elanna on a trail that had eventually proven fruitful. The words were from (then Captain) Larks’ answers to the press about the trial: “Deep Space 9 is a breeding ground for scoundrels and rebels,” he had stated, “I wouldn’t get away from there fast enough.” Of course, this told them nothing about his relationship to the Maquis per se, _but_ it did place him on DS9 at some point – in a region of the quadrant where the Maquis had been particularly active in the early years. So B’Elanna had endeavored to find out whether his presence there had coincided with the Cardassian war. If so, she might be able to dig deeper and see if he had any kind of personal ties to the conflict – a casualty he would want revenge from, for example. Anything, really.

And _that,_ the scope of the possibilities, had definitely increased the degree of difficulty exponentially. There were so many “ifs” in Janeway’s theory, so many possibilities, it was a little crazy to imagine that B’Elanna would ever be able to find all of the necessary dots _and_ connect them together in a way that would discredit Larks or his motives for pursuing the Maquis, and legally bind him to drop the charges against Chakotay.

But she had refused to give up, not when Chakotay had sacrificed himself so that _she_ and all the others could be free. She had figured that even though she might not be able to find the information in time to stop the trial, any information might help in the long run; either to reduce Chakotay’s sentence or appeal if he lost, or even to make sure that other Maquis was ever brought to charges just because this one admiral had some personal incentive to see them punished (she had barely acknowledged that Chakotay may well be the last one).

B’Elanna had visited Chakotay at the JIG a couple of times, and she was worried about him. He’d looked fine – but then how could he possibly be fine? He’d sounded almost too accepting of his fate. He needed someone or something to remind him that he couldn’t just roll over and accept what was happening to him. Maybe the captain was right, and a good dose of Takayla was what he needed.

B’Elanna had been going through the very informative results of a search of DS9’s personnel roster for the last 10 years, connecting parameters like “Maquis” and “Larks,” when Tom had returned, Nimkotay in tow. She had never actually met Takayla’s son before that morning, but the resemblances to his parents, and even Chakotay, were striking. Tom’s return with their guest had meant that she’d had to put her research on hold for a few hours, just when she felt at the verge of a breakthrough. Tom had announced then that he had invited Takayla and the captain for an informal dinner later that evening, so they had spent most of the day unpacking and preparing the house for guests while Nim watched cartoons on Tom’s old television. After a few hours, when Tom reassured her that he had the dinner preparations under control, B’Elanna had returned to her research.

And just like that, the connections she had been searching for had appeared before her eyes, in a series of business transactions that had involved Larks when he had been posted on DS9.

Now, B’Elanna was helping Tom and Nim put on the final touches on the table when the doorbell rang.

Tom, with Miral in his arms, went to answer the door, and B’Elanna rearranged the table center quickly before following him. B’Elanna hadn’t seen Takayla in years, and her memories of her were of a funny, if quiet and idealistic, young woman about her own age, so she was a little surprised to find her solemn, and driven by a cold kind of determination. Well, after everything that had happened to her since B’Elanna had last seen her, and especially considering that her brother’s trial was scheduled to start the next day, B’Elanna couldn’t blame her.

They hugged briefly after Takayla made sure that Nim was okay. That’s when B’Elanna noticed Captain Janeway’s expression. She had rarely seen her look so unsettled. No, not unsettled. _Angry._ And scared. B’Elanna was taken aback, but Tom, of course, seemed to know what to do instinctively. He had always had good people instincts, yet B’Elanna was still amazed when he approached the captain and offered Miral to her. The effect of both the offer and the feel of the baby in the captain’s arms were immediate – the tenseness in the captain’s body and face relaxed a little as she gazed at Tom gratefully before looking down at Miral’s sleeping face.

B’Elanna was dying to apprise the captain of her findings regarding Larks’ past business transactions. However the topics of conversation remained light or tactical while Nim was in the room, as if by tacit accord. Over dinner Takayla described the process of the trial and what they should expect, but it was Tom and Nim who supplied most of the conversation. Nim described with excitement the cartoons he had watched in the morning (“it wasn’t like a holodeck program, Mom, the characters just interacted with each other, and I only had to watch! It was really weird!”), and Tom asked questions about Takayla’s background and growing up with Chakotay. _What was he like? Any good stories we could use as future leverage?_ B’Elanna and the captain had mostly listened to these conversations – the captain with unfeigned interest, if B’Elanna could judge by a kind of tender but distant expression on her face, as Takayla related anecdotes of child-Chakotay. The fact that Janeway was so uncharacteristically quiet spoke volumes about her distracted state of mind, though, and B’Elanna’s eagerness to tell her what she’d found only increased.

But it was only after dinner, once Nim went back to watching cartoons in the next room that B’Elanna and Janeway quickly gravitated together, and B’Elanna realized the captain had been just as eager to speak to _her._

“B’Elanna please tell me you-”

B’Elanna had anticipated her question. She handed her a PADD.

“What’s this?” The captain asked curiously, eagerly.

B’Elanna couldn’t quite contain her excited grin. “It’s not enough to stop the trial, but I think it _might_ still qualify as a belated birthday present for you, Captain.”

oooOooo

Mea hadn’t been at work 10 minutes when there was a rapt knock on her open door. She looked up to find one of the building’s security officers standing in the doorframe.

Mea frowned curiously. “What is it?”

“You have a visitor,” the man said with a strange look that Mea couldn’t quite decipher.

It was only when Captain Janeway appeared behind his shoulder that she understood his insistent and somewhat awed look – everyone knew who Captain Janeway was. Mea stood to her feet, giving him a dismissing nod.

“Captain!” She greeted as she fiddled with her PADD. “Is there something I can do for you? Is Mr. Chakotay alright?” The trial was scheduled to start at noon, so Mea was rather surprised to find the captain already here, hours ahead of the proceedings.

The captain looked exhausted but as determined as ever, her expression intent and unyielding. Even though Mea didn’t know her very well, deep and barely restrained anger seemed to be coming off of her in waves. “I’d like to have a word with Admiral Larks,” Janeway said, “can you arrange that?”

Mea nodded, doing her best to rein in her curiosity, and quickly pressed her combadge. “Ensign Tagashi to Lieutenant Montmorency.”

“Mike, here,” the admiral’s aide replied a moment later.

“I have Captain Janeway here, she requests a moment with the admiral.”

“I’m sorry, Mea, he’s preparing for the trial and he asked not to be disturbed.”

Mea met Janeway’s unyielding expression before returning her attention to the conversation. “I think he’ll want to take this meeting, Mike.”

There was a pause. “Alright, let me see what I can do.”

Mea nodded even though Mike couldn’t see it. She returned her attention to the captain, and realizing that they were both still standing, Mea invited her to sit, kicking herself for not doing so sooner.

But the captain merely shook her head. “Thank you Ensign, but I can’t sit still right now.”

Mea was a little surprised at this admission, but nodded. She didn’t dare sit either as she watched the captain start pacing in the small space of her office, one hand resting just below her ribcage, as if forcing the air in and out of her lungs.

“I’ve been meaning to thank you,” the captain started suddenly, interrupting her pacing to look at her. “You’ve been very kind to Chakotay, and very helpful to B’Elanna. Lieutenant Torres,” she corrected herself. “I hope that when this is all over we’ll get a chance to thank you properly.”

Mea dismissed the idea with a shake of the head. “Please, there’s no need, Captain. All I want is for Mr. Chakotay to get a fair trial – something the other Maquis survivors didn’t get, I recently found out. I’m still hoping for justice to prevail.”

She resumed her pacing, but one of the corners of the captain’s mouth quirked up wryly. “Sounds like you and Takayla would get along just fine… With the two of you together, the justice system would be taken to new standards!” The captain suddenly stopped her pacing again, and turned to Mea with a curious, if amused, expression. “Do you really want to do your thesis on the _socio-political impetus for self-governing military entities in a post-state society_?”

If Mea didn’t know any better, she would have thought she was being teased. By Captain Janeway. It was too strange to process. “How did you…?”

The captain gave a small shrug. “B’Elanna told me that’s how you convinced the admiral to give you access to certain files.”

“Oh.” Of course, she had told that story to Lieutenant Torres herself a few days ago. She had never imagined that this insignificant detail would travel. “Well, it is true, actually.”

Instead of the incredulous scoff that Mea was expecting, the captain gave a stern approving nod. “Good. I’d certainly like to read it when you’re done.”

Mea blinked in surprise, and felt her cheeks flush. “Of course, captain. I didn’t realize you had an interest in the topic.”

“Let’s just say it’s a recent development,” she replied wryly, making Mea smile at the subtle reference to Mr. Chakotay’s case. It struck Mea, how Janeway had a way of making people feel special, by pulling them in on secrets that only they could share and understand and smile about. This, Mea realized, was probably how she won the loyalties of her crew. Everyone sought validation and recognition, and Janeway was an expert at giving them just that.

“Lieutenant Montmorency to Ensign Tagashi.” Mea startled at the sound of the voice, and promptly pressed the combadge to reply. “Tagashi, here.”

“The admiral will see the captain now.”

The playful expression on the captain’s face vanished, and that somber determination returned. It was amazing to witness that transformation, from blue skies to dark, ominous clouds.

Mea moved around her desk to escort the captain to the admiral’s office. The admiral was sitting at his desk, head bent over some document. He barely had a chance to acknowledge their presence before the captain strode right up to his desk and splayed her hands flat on the surface so that she could lean over the desk menacingly.

“I know why you’re doing this,” she said, her voice low and dangerous.

Mea exchanged a startled look with Mike, but since neither of them had been dismissed (and neither of them apparently wanted to miss this), they remained where they were by the door.

If Admiral Larks was startled by the anger in the captain’s voice, he didn’t show it. He merely leaned back into his chair to better peer up at her.

“I’m doing this because it’s my _job_. I _am_ the Justice Inquirer General after all,” he replied calmly. But Mea noticed the way he almost imperceptibly pushed his chair back.

Janeway smiled humorlessly as she shook her head. “No, you’re doing this out of greed. And vanity.”

The admiral frowned, annoyed now. “I don’t know what you mean, Captain. And frankly, you’re crossing the line with your accusations. I’m almost tempted to throw you in the cell next to your traitor friend.”

“I’d like to see you try.” The captain’s tone was uncompromising. “I know what you lost at the hands of the Maquis. All that dilithium, all of those assets – the Maquis sure made a dent in that little commercial venture of yours when they blew up the mines. All this for credits and a bruised ego! I’ll never understand how some people cling to those ancient vices. If I had a say in this, Admiral, _you_ would be the one charged with treason, for turning your back on the Federation’s ideals.”

At this the admiral jumped to his feet and leaned over dangerously, imitating the captain’s posture – from Mea’s vantage point, only the desk between them kept them from coming to blows.

“Blackmailing an admiral, Captain? You’re on dangerous grounds.”

The captain blinked innocently. “Blackmail? Oh no, that’s not blackmail. _I_ would never steep so low. No, I’m just letting you know that I see through you, Admiral. Besides, if it hadn’t been true, wouldn’t you have accused me of defamation, rather than blackmail?”

“If I were you, I’d realize I’m way too far over my head for cheekiness, Captain.” Fear and anger were making the admiral’s voice crack slightly now. Both he and Janeway knew she had scored a point – she had tricked him into admitting to the veracity of her accusations.

But Janeway didn’t flinch at the admiral’s anger and veiled threat. Instead she tilted her head curiously, her gaze never wavering. “The only thing I haven’t quite figured out yet is what your son has to do with all of this. But let me reassure you,” she added, her tone returning to a dangerous drawl, “that if you were hoping to bargain Voyager for Chakotay’s freedom, tough luck. I will not be bullied or bought. Not by you, not by anyone.”

The admiral blinked, the color draining from his face.

Janeway was too clever to let her triumph show, but Mea couldn’t quite stop the gasp that escaped her at this revelation. So this had been what the admiral’s angle? To convince Janeway that the trial was so helpless she would want to cut a deal: give up Voyager to his son in exchange for Chakotay’s freedom? It was so convoluted, Mea could hardly accept it.

The admiral’s attention snapped to Mea and Mike at the sound of her gasp, and his pale face turned red with barely suppressed anger, appalled to realize what his subordinates had heard. “What the hell are you two still doing here?” He bellowed angrily.

Mea and Mike both opened their mouths to defend themselves, but at that moment Janeway straightened.

“Take it out on them all you want, Admiral, it’s not going to stop me and my associates from proving you wrong. Or from winning that case, fair and square. I’ll see you in court,” she added with a scornful look. And on that, she turned on her heels.

“I do wonder,” Larks called back, his voice now as syrupy as honey, “what your Maquis friend will think when he finds out _you_ had the power to set him free, here and now, yet you chose to walk away, out of sheer self-righteous, stubbornness.”

The captain’s steps faltered, and Mea knew immediately that Larks had struck a chord. Janeway closed her eyes painfully and inhaled. And then she squared her shoulders, and without even looking back toward the admiral, stormed out.

Mea and Mike quickly followed.

Mea was pretty sure she had just lost her job. But, boy had it been worth it!

ooooOoooo


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned in my notes when I posted the first chapter, in the following chapters I’m taking a lot of liberties with the history of the Maquis and Chakotay’s crew, which might fall outside canon. For instance, for the purpose of this story Chakotay’s home planet is located at the edge of Federation Space, but still on the Federation side of the border. So I hope you’ll indulge these small liberties as the backstory unfolds! 
> 
> A quick thanks to everyone still reading, and especially to all those who have reviewed so far, I really enjoy the comments, and I hope you continue enjoying the story! Without further ado…

**Chapter 13**

Kathryn took her seat in the front row, a couple of meters behind the defendant’s assigned seat. B’Elanna and Tom came to sit next to her, acknowledging her with matching somber expressions. Even though it had only been about two weeks since Miral’s birth, it was already strange to see them without her, though Kathryn understood how a babysitter might be a sensible alternative to bringing a newborn to court. Besides, according to Tom, the Wildmans had been more than happy to help.

One glance over her shoulder, and Kathryn quickly noticed that, even though she recognized a few of the admirals – including Hayes, Avuyasha and Paris – most of the people filling up the rows of benches of the courtroom were part of her crew, both former Maquis and Starfleet alike. Warmth suffused Kathryn’s heart at the sight, at this show of support. Ensign Kim was sitting with Nimkotay a few rows back, and Kathryn met their grim expression with an encouraging nod. She briefly wondered whether Mr. Kim had reunited with his parents at last.

Kathryn looked at the clock. 11:52. Eight minutes to go.

She couldn’t help but think back to her earlier confrontation with Admiral Larks. Unfortunately all of B’Elanna’s evidence concerning his motives was circumstantial: for many years he had profited from the exploitation of a dilithium mine near the border – though it wasn’t clear to what extent he had been involved in the ownership. Where this became interesting, though, was B’Elanna’s assertion that Larks’ mine could very well be one of the mines that the Val Jean, under Chakotay’s command, had destroyed in his attempt to restrain Cardassian access to dilithium, either through trade or raid. This suggested that Larks had a personal motive in seeking retribution against the Maquis, and Chakotay’s crew in particular. If the connection hadn’t been so flimsy and circumstantial, Kathryn would have appealed to Starfleet Command to do something more decisive than confronting him. Nevertheless, she knew she had destabilized Larks, and she couldn’t help the pang of satisfaction at the thought. It was good that Starfleet became aware – much like the people of the Delta Quadrant had – that _nobody_ messed with her crew without dealing with her first.

A part of her countered that Larks was likely to go at Chakotay even more fiercely now – maybe she should have kept her mouth shut and let him get overconfident.

But that would have gone against her every instinct.

Despite this small victory, Kathryn had left his office in a troubled frame of mind. He had scored a point, by taunting Kathryn with the fact that she was choosing Voyager over Chakotay’s freedom, and he had known it. It was a heart-tearing dilemma, and yet, Kathryn _wouldn’t_ be bullied or blackmailed, not for anything, not for anyone. Whether that was a fault she didn’t know, but Larks had been right. It may have very well cost Chakotay’s freedom.

Well, there was no point in fretting over that now, what was done was done. Besides, Kathryn had every confidence in Takayla, and she took comfort in the fact that they _could_ very well win this trial yet.

11:57.

B’Elanna’s thigh was bouncing up and down in a fast staccato next to Kathryn’s, and Kathryn gave her a pointed look. That’s all it took for B’Elanna to stop the movement, mouthing an apology, and Kathryn returned to her thoughts.

In truth she was just as nervous as B’Elanna, but she refused to let it show. She was Captain Kathryn Janeway, for heaven’s sake, the same woman who had survived the Delta Quadrant, who had brought her crew home, who had cheated death itself! The main difference was, here, in this courtroom, she was powerless. It was all out of her hands. And she _hated_ it.

At last there was some movement and Kathryn watched with a knotted stomach as Chakotay entered and was led to his seat, Takayla and Ensign Tagashi on either side of him.

Though she knew he saw her, his eyes intentionally avoided Kathryn’s before he turned and took his seat. Kathryn felt a small pang of anxiety at his evasive maneuver. _Don’t give up, Chakotay!_

Admiral Larks was the next one to walk into the room, and Kathryn noticed with some satisfaction that he avoided even looking in her direction. She was only sorry that he would miss the look of pure scorn that she had directed at him.

“All rise!”

At last the judge and the jury walked in to take their spots. Kathryn had met the judge, Captain Elena Harris, once, a long time ago, but she knew very little of her. However, B’Elanna had told her that she had not been part of any of the other “excuses for trials” (her words) that the Maquis had been subjected to. And from what Kathryn herself knew, she was a fair-minded judicial officer. Thank the higher powers that the Justice Inquirer General’s office wasn’t the one appointing the judges to specific cases.

After reminding everyone of the rules of engagement and explaining the charges leveled against Chakotay, Judge Harris invited the legal representatives to make their opening statements. Admiral Larks was first, and Kathryn pressed her hands together until her knuckles turned white when he rose to face the jury.

“The charge against the defendant is treason, one of the gravest offenses in the eyes of the Federation of Planets, and Starfleet. It’s so grave, in fact, that in most of our species’ history it was punishable by death. While we have evolved beyond such a sentence, the grievousness of the crime remains. Now, the defense will try to convince you that treason is too harsh an accusation, that as a Maquis, the defendant was only doing what he thought was right. But remember that the Maquis was but a group of armed outlaws willing to do anything to sabotage the Federation’s efforts to broker peace between the Cardassians and the Bajorans. The simple fact is, this man turned his back on his Starfleet duty as an officer to join a group of ruthless rogues. And in doing so, his actions and those of his so-called compatriots caused the death of countless Starfleet personnel, not forgetting countless of our allies. _Treason is treason_ , there is no higher moral ground to be found here.”

Takayla was next, so she stood, her expression grave but her voice calm. With her gentle dimpled smile and pretty features, she made all feel as though she was the sister or daughter they wish they had. There was a compelling aura to her when she stood in front of a crowd that wasn’t as obvious in private, where she tended to be more cynical. But now, there was in her an openness and vulnerability that was so carefully balanced with inner strength that it was almost impossible for the jury to look away from her. It was quite a sight.

“There is no doubt that the defendant _was_ a Maquis. He admits to it wholeheartedly and without shame or remorse; because his actions nine years ago were not directed at Starfleet or the Federation – two institutions that he respects, and admires for the value they place on freedom, discovery, and unity in difference. No, Chakotay left his promising career as a Starfleet officer because his home colony was under attack from the Cardassian military force, while the Federation, which should have protected them – decided to play politics instead. The prosecution will try to persuade you that treason is not about morality, that the regulations are clear when dealing with this offense. But I urge you to question this. To question not only the regulations themselves, but _why_ they exist, and whether they should apply to this man’s actions. Because, as you will see, Chakotay’s actions should not be considered as treasonous in the eyes of Starfleet, but patriotic.”

Kathryn let out a shaky breath as she watched Takayla return to her seat.

The prosecution called its first witness, a Starfleet commander who also taught legal theory at the Academy. By the frown on Ensign Tagashi’s expression, he was known to her, and Kathryn figured he might well be her thesis supervisor. It wasn’t all that surprising that the commander was asked to state Starfleet regulations pertaining to treasonous acts – it was all part of the prosecution strategy, a strategy Larks had apparently used in his other prosecutions of similar cases. _First, they’ll establish Chakotay’s participation in the Maquis as a treasonous act,_ Takayla’s voice echoed in her head from the night before. _Then they’ll show that Chakotay willfully engaged in those acts, thereby eliminating the benefit of the doubt. If he engaged in treasonous acts, he therefore must be a traitor._

_How will you rebuke that?_ Kathryn had asked worriedly as they, as well as B’Elanna and Tom, all leaned over the table, B’Elanna’s records and evidence covering the surface between them.

Takayla now rose to her feet again and questioned the commander as to when exactly these regulations had been established and why. In a clever play with logic that trampled even Larks’ objections, she was able to get the commander to admit that those regulations – while applicable to militias operating within Starfleet, may not actually be applicable to militias who claimed independence from the Federation.

“So in your expertise,” Takayla said, and Kathryn felt she was swinging for her _coup de grâce_ , “since the Maquis have never claimed to be operating within the Federation, do the regulations you just described apply?”

The commander looked at Takayla as if seeing her for the first time, dazed that she had been able to take them _both_ to this conclusion without actually leading his answers. “I suppose not.”

“Thank you, Commander.”

“Admiral?” The judge turned to Larks. He rose to his feet.

“One final question, Commander. You and your students have studied the Maquis and the evidence against them in great detail. Can you please tell the jury what kinds of weapons and ships the Maquis were using?”

“For the most part, the weapons were Starfleet-issued torpedoes and phasers. As to their ships, they came from various cultures of the Quadrant, many of which are part of the Federation. The defendant’s own Maquis raider, the Val Jean, was a repurposed Peregrine-class Starfleet courier vessel.”

“So, not that independent from the Federation. Thank you, Commander.”

The commander left the witness stand and Kathryn let out an uneasy breath as she shifted in her seat. Next up was B’Elanna, and both Kathryn and Tom gave her an encouraging nod as she made her way to the stand.

Admiral Larks walked up to her once everyone was settled. “Please state your name and rank for the record.”

“Lieutenant B’Elanna Torres. Chief Engineer on the starship Voyager.”

“Lieutenant, am I correct in stating that you, yourself, were a Maquis before you joined Voyager?”

B’Elanna swallowed uneasily, betraying her nervousness. Her eyes darted to Chakotay briefly before returning to Larks. With his back to her, Kathryn couldn’t see Chakotay’s expression. “That’s right. But given the circumstances of both the Val Jean and Voyager being stranded in the Delta Quadrant, Captain Janeway and Chakotay decided that our joint crew should operate under a Starfleet banner. Those of the few Val Jean Maquis who had survived the tetatryon beam were integrated into the crew and granted field commissions by Captain Janeway, based on their expertise.”

Larks nodded. “Right, right. Tell us, how do you know the defendant?”

B’Elanna stared at him, for the briefest moment betraying her surprise. “He was the captain of our Maquis ship,” she replied, as if it was too obvious to bother saying.

“Yes, but how did you _meet_?”

“He recruited me.”

“Into the Maquis. How?”

B’Elanna scoffed defensively. “What do you mean? He asked me if I wanted to join the fight, and I said yes.”

“What did he say to convince you? How did he appeal to you? Surely he didn’t approach just anyone with this question, otherwise I would wonder at the Maquis recruitment methods.” There was a faint snickering sound from an area of the courtroom where most of the faces were unfamiliar to Kathryn. She glared in that direction.

“What does that have to do with anything?” B’Elanna replied. Her defensiveness was concerning.

“Just answer the question, Lieutenant.”

She let out an annoyed sigh. “After I dropped out of Starfleet Academy, I was angry. Restless. I hated everyone and everything, and I thought the world hated me back. I didn’t know what to do. I traveled to the border, but I came across a Cardassian patrol, and they shot me down. I would have crashed if not for Chakotay and his crew. He saved my life. And even though he saw my anger, he was kind to me. He understood.”

“He preyed upon your vulnerability.”

“No! It wasn’t like that.”

“Your witness,” Larks stated, leaving B’Elanna open-mouthed.

Takayla quickly rose to her feet and approached B’Elanna. “Please continue, Lieutenant. If it wasn’t like that, how was it?”

B’Elanna gave an amazed shrug. “He saved me! Not just from dying in a crash, but… from self-destruction. I owe him. A lot. I’ve never told him that.” She turned her head to speak to Chakotay directly. “Somehow you were able to see through my anger, and see something worth saving. You showed me what it was like to have honor in battle – values I had rejected because at the time I hated my Klingon heritage. So…thank you.”

“Please focus on answering the questions, Lieutenant,” Judge Harris reprimanded, but Kathryn was already smiling, proud of B’Elanna for speaking up in such an open way. Chakotay had shifted to lean forward to rest his arms on the table in front of him, but Kathryn could only imagine his expression.

“Lieutenant, tell us about why Chakotay took the Val Jean to the Badlands, just before you were all sent to the Delta Quadrant.”

B’Elanna nodded. “We were pursued by the Cardassians. We had just made them a little angry,” she added with just the hint of a triumphant smile.

“How so?” Takayla pressed.

“Under Chakotay’s leadership, we had just rescued from the Cardassians’ clutches six people retained without due process-”

“Prisoners of war.”

“That’s right. Including four Federation and two Bajorans. They had been used as slave labor at a Cardassian dilithium refinery. The Cardassians were not happy to lose such valuable bargaining chips. Not mentioning free labor.”

Kathryn frowned curiously at this, as she leaned her elbows on her thigh with newfound interest. How had she never heard this story? Why hadn’t Chakotay, or Tuvok, told her? Not that it made any difference in the long run where she was concerned, but it might have swayed her early opinions of the Maquis as a whole.

“Objection!” Larks interrupted. “According to the treaty, no prisoners of war were unaccounted for. This is clearly a fabrication to make the defendant look more honorable!”

B’Elanna scoffed derisively. “None that the Federation was willing to acknowledge publicly,” she countered without waiting for authorization to speak. “Two of the prisoners were Bajorans, and we all know the Bajorans have suffered brutally at the hands of the Cardassians, with little help from the Federation.”

“What happened to them? The people you rescued?” Takayla pressed, bringing B’Elanna back on track, knowing that her comment might offend some of the Starfleet officers present.

“After we restored them to health, we dropped them off on the closest Federation planet that would be safe for them.”

“Objection!” Larks rose to his feet again. “If that’s true, why has there been no record of this…so-called rescue, Lieutenant?”

“I don’t know. As I’m sure you’re well aware, not all Maquis, or Starfleet, missions and transactions have left a record trail,” B’Elanna replied with a knowing glint in her eyes, and Kathryn almost smiled when Larks worked his jaw when he understood her innuendo. “But I do know that everyone who was on board at the time will vouch for the truth of this story, including Lieutenant Commander Tuvok. Unbeknownst to us, he had been placed in our midst to spy on us. If you don’t believe me, ask him.”

Takayla spoke up again. “I have one more question for you, Lieutenant. According to the Voyager crew log entries, including yours and Captain Janeway’s, there were a few moments at the beginning of your travels in the Delta Quadrant when a former Maquis member, named Seska, suggested a Maquis takeover of the ship. An insurrection. How did Chakotay handle this situation?”

Kathryn longed to stretch out her hand and squeeze Chakotay’s suddenly tense shoulders at the mention of Seska. Would he ever get over the shame he seemed to feel every time that woman was mentioned? She admired his sense of responsibility and even understood his injured pride, but it was about damn time that he learned to leave his guilt behind where Seska was concerned.

“Talk about a traitor…” B’Elanna snorted before she remembered herself. “Seska had been our friend on the Val Jean, and she did try to encourage a Maquis takeover multiple times after we joined forces with Voyager. Chakotay, however, always refused, he never even considered it. He always stood by Voyager, and by Captain Janeway. Eventually, we found out that Seska was actually a Cardassian passing herself as a Bajoran. When her cover was blown, she fled to join forces with the Kazon. She came back a few times to haunt us, and Chakotay especially. But Chakotay never, _never_ , knowingly betrayed Voyager and its crew. He just wouldn’t.”

Takayla returned to her seat and Kathryn held her breath as she redirected her gaze to Larks, wondering how he would use Seska against Chakotay. Heavens knew he had some material to use there. So she was surprised when he shook his head.

“No more questions, your honor.”

B’Elanna was dismissed, and Takayla spent the rest of the day calling up several former Maquis crewmembers. As she sat and listened, and learned, Kathryn finally understood how Takayla was using their personal stories – the ones they had shared with Chakotay and herself a few months before – to create a pattern about Chakotay’s behavior as a Maquis; namely that he had avoided confrontations with the Federation as much as he possibly could, and had never knowingly targeted civilians, a behavior that had often earned him reprimands from the more radical of his fellow Maquis.

When the court adjourned for the day, Kathryn was exhausted from the anxiety, but, she told herself as she assessed the evidence presented and points made throughout the day, in her book Takayla had won round one.

The hope inside her chest was pushing so hard to escape from her cautious grip, it was actually painful.

oooOooo

Much to Seven’s surprise, Axum didn’t transport alone. When he stepped down from the platform, he had a member of Species 8472 at his side, and another humanoid former drone that Seven recognized as belonging to Species 932.

The security officers immediately drew their phasers at the sight of them, but Seven lifted her hand to stop them. “Stand down.” The last thing they wanted was to sabotage their fragile relationship with Species 8472. She met Axum’s eyes when the security officers holstered their phasers, and he gave her a grateful nod. However it was his smile, born of genuine happiness at seeing her, that sent blood to her cheeks.

“Annika, it’s…a pleasure to finally meet you face to face,” he said as he bowed his head in greeting and stopped before he got to arm’s length distance.

“And you as well,” Seven replied as she studied him, part of her wondering how this individual could have such power over her – to make her heart pump blood faster through her veins, to take control of her thoughts – while another assessed the few remaining Borg implants and how they altered his features. She fought an uncharacteristic urge to fidget. She had never been good at this kind of interaction, and she feared she was making it awkward – which, of course, only seemed to make it worse. She cleared her throat. “I’ll take you to Captain Stedvak,” she said as she gestured for Axum’s party to follow her.

Axum fell in step with her, clasping his hands behind his back. “I confess I was surprised to find that Voyager has a new captain. Has Captain Janeway perished?” He asked with a grave frown.

“No, she is alive and well, merely… engaged elsewhere at present. She sends her regards.”

“Oh, that is a relief indeed! Please thank her when you next see her. We wouldn’t be here without her assistance.”

Seven nodded, acutely aware that their conversation fell under the category of what the Doctor referred to as _small talk._ Meaningless conversation. Inefficient. And yet, it felt necessary if they were to reacquaint themselves with one another. The paradox perplexed Seven and she frowned.

She threw a look at Axum’s companions over her shoulders. “You were actually able to convince Species 8472 to help you. Impressive. How did you proceed?”

He gave a small shrug. “With much honesty and even more caution, but in the end it wasn’t so very difficult. We took our plan and your pathogen to them, and asked them if they would be willing to help. They agreed.”

“That sounds almost too easy,” Seven replied under her breath.

“Well, it took a while for us to understand each other, and to figure out how to stop stepping on each other’s toes.” He flashed her a smile. “Well, they have claws, I suppose. We made some diplomatic blunders along the way, of course, but… with patience and conversation, we were able to coordinate our efforts at last. It helped that in the early days of our alliance they agreed to take our forms to facilitate communication.”

“Yes, we have encountered them as humans before.”

They reached the briefing room, finding Stedvak, Peres, Captain Uang and most of the two crews’ bridge officers already present, filling the room. Several of them rose to their feet in a mix of alarm and surprise at the sight of Species 8472.

Seven went to take one of the few remaining seats at the table and Axum followed to take the seat next to hers. No calculation was necessary to realize that they hadn’t planned for enough chairs for all three of their guests. Stedvak shifted on his feet as he assessed the situation. Understanding what was going on, Axum came to his rescue. “Oh, This One does not sit, do not trouble yourself,” he said as he gestured to the 8472 representative.

“This One? Is that its- his name?” Stedvak asked as he sat.

“What it translates to. As far as we know they don’t have proper names – just innate identities that all the others innately recognize,” Axum explained.

“Hmm,” the captain replied before shaking his head as if to dismiss a particular train of thought.

“How long have you been allies?” Captain Uang asked curiously as she leaned over the table. The gesture reminded Seven of Janeway.

Axum told them in more detail what he had told Seven on the way – stopping here and there when This One telepathically asked him to say something on its behalf – about how they had reached out and come to an understanding over time.

“Axum, can you tell us more about what exactly we’re stepping into here? What’s the state of affairs out there?” Commander Peres asked eventually.

Axum inhaled a long breath as he considered how to answer. “Well, Voyager has dealt several critical blows to the Borg over the years – starting with the development of the pathogen we still use to this day, which allowed me and dozens of others to recover our individuality. Only recently, we noticed that the Borg had become disorganized, frantic… Like a heritsa beast running around without its head. That’s when we realized that something must have happened to the Queen, or to the main hub in the Delta Quadrant. Knowing that Voyager was in that quadrant, we assumed that it was thanks to Voyager and her crew. This was confirmed only a short time ago, when I again made contact with Annika.” He gave her a brief look before returning his focus to his tale. “Since then, the Borg’s disorganization has increased exponentially, and we were able to consistently tamper with their link, spying and altering the paths of Cubes and Spheres. As far as we know, no new queen has been able to take control of the Collective mind, but the drones appear to still be linked through their collective desire for perfection and conquest.”

“How many ships are we talking about, here? Dozens? Hundreds?” Stedvak asked, and Seven realized that she had set her expectations of him so low that she found herself surprised by the man’s ability to ask relevant questions.

Axum took a moment to consider this, and Seven realized he was communicating with This One again. “In this part of the galaxy, only a few dozens remain. However, there might well be hundreds left in the galaxy.”

“Well,” Stedvak replied, “let’s start with cleaning up our yard first, then we’ll worry about the neighborhood.”

Axum frowned confusedly at this strange metaphor, and Seven couldn’t help exchanging a wry look with him.

“How do you hope of achieving this?” Axum asked. “We did notice that you had weapons effective in incapacitating the Cubes. In fact, they acted much as the pathogen you shared with us when we last met in Unimatrix 0.”

Seven looked at Captain Stedvak challengingly, and he gave her a reluctant nod.

“You’re correct,” Seven replied. “We have been endeavoring to find a more efficient and safer way to deliver the pathogen. The goal is to incapacitate the drones’ nanoprobes even as we incapacitate their vessels and their technology.”

Axum looked impressed. “Remarkable. Even as the Resistance grows stronger, most of us are reluctant to unnecessarily destroy life forms. This weapon of yours may well afford us the means of achieving our goal.” He leaned forward eagerly. “If we could permanently sever the link that connects drones together and to the plexus, then it would be the end of the Borg as an assimilating force.”

“We had hoped that destroying the queen and the Plexus in the Delta Quadrant would achieve this,” Seven explained, “unfortunately we did not account for the redundant networks binding together parts of the Collective into smaller units.”

“Those are the units you’ve been fighting,” Peres informed Axum and the other visitors. “That’s why they’ve appeared so disorganized. They still answer to a collective, but a collective without a leader.”

Axum nodded. “That is consistent with our observations.”

“However,” Seven pointed out, “we have yet to assess the weapons’ efficacy.”

Peres continued to explain. “Our sensors seem to show that the Cubes we hit have been completely incapacitated. But, whether any of the drones survived has yet to be confirmed. We can detect life signs on board, but we won’t know what that means for certain until we see for ourselves.”

Axum nodded pensively. “We can help you board the remaining Cubes. As you can probably tell from my appearance, we have had some success reversing the assimilation process in most drones we’ve captured. More importantly, we have devised a way of always keeping ahead of the Borg adapting to our weapons.”

Stedvak nodded. “Seven of Nine, you, me, and our guests will go check out one of the Cubes. Get the Doctor, we’ll probably need his assessment as well. And make sure that whatever we did to that Cube doesn’t contaminate you or our friends here. We’ll take two away teams. Captain,” he turned to Uang, “I’ll leave it to you to assemble your own away teams. We leave in 30 minutes.” Stedvak rose to his feet and left the room, Peres following him into his ready room – much as she had seen Chakotay do with Janeway countless times before.

Seven briefly wondered how the two of them were faring – how the trial was going, but she quickly stored the thoughts away. She entreated Axum and his companions to follow her to sickbay.

Axum looked around the ship curiously as they walked, in silence this time. Seven couldn’t help following his gaze to the ship design – how primitive it must seem to him. It had appeared so to her at first.

“The Terrans are still in their infancy when it comes to interstellar travel, but this vessel is more resilient than its technology would suggest,” she pointed out.

Axum startled out of his observations. “Oh I am not passing judgment, merely appreciating the order, and brightness of this starship. I was on a Cube for a long time, and to find oneself in a brighter, more cheerful environment, is always a cause for rejoicing.” He smiled, and his gaze lingered, as if he were hesitant to say more. “I confess,” he finally started in a lower tone, “I’m really glad to finally meet you in person, Annika. I never dared hope that I would see the day.”

“Neither did I.”

“How long will your vessels be staying in the Beta Quadrant?”

“Starfleet Command has ordered us to return after two weeks – not very long, I’m afraid.”

His smile faltered. “Oh, that is unfortunate.”

Seven hurried to go on. “They are merely being cautious. They want to ensure that this alliance is sustainable, before committing more resources. It is Starfleet’s hope that we can establish a more long-term relationship and make a difference. At least in this Quadrant.”

Axum smiled again. “You already have. But I confess – perhaps it is presumptuous of me – but I confess I had hoped we would have more time to get reacquainted.”

His gaze locked with hers, making her blood feel as though it were boiling in her veins. “As did I.” She shook herself and straightened her shoulders. “However doing so now would be inefficient. For now we must focus on our mission.”

He gave a nod, and Seven had the distinct impression that, even though he seemed disappointed, part of him found her evasive maneuver entertaining. She wasn’t sure whether that made her want to use force or a kiss to disarm him. It occurred to her that such contradictions had never presented themselves to her before, not even around Chakotay. She must be getting more in touch with her humanity than she had imagined, because only humans would trouble themselves with such trivial inner debates.

oooOooo


	14. Chapter 14

For several nights in a row now, Chakotay had struggled to get a wink of sleep. But last night had by far been the worst. Every time he closed his eyes, he’d found himself in that courtroom again. So he had tossed and turned in his small, uncomfortable bed, staring at the shadows on the ceiling, memories of the day’s moments flooding his mind unbidden. B’Elanna’s anxiety when she had first taken the stand. Takayla’s poised but relentless defense of him. Kathryn’s emotional and anxious eyes when he had first walked into the room. The jury’s stoic expressions. Admiral Larks’ smirk when he’d made a point. Chakotay’s first sight of his nephew sitting quietly in the back and his thoughts that Nim was way too young to be confronted to this type of thing – he should be outside, playing and having fun, not thinking about treason, the costs of one’s beliefs, or interstellar politics.

After the court had adjourned for the day, Chakotay had been escorted back to his cell, and since he was not allowed visitors during the trial, he had spent the evening and the night doing his best not to think, not to dwell on the torturous feelings that tightened his stomach into a permanent, nauseating knot; a brother’s pride and admiration for what Takayla was trying to do, hope that it might actually work, despair that it wouldn’t, and a flicker of shame for letting it come to this, for bringing this down onto Kathryn, his friends and family, when he had vowed to himself to make their burden lighter. He appreciated their presence at the trial – he could feel them sitting behind him like a wave swelling up to rise him above the horizon – but at the same time part of him shied away from it, didn’t feel deserving of such support. The truth was that he alone had brought this down upon himself, upon them, and upon Kathryn.

_No, this is bigger than you,_ a voice had that sounded like his father’s had whispered in his mind. _Stop being so self-centered, this is about friendship and loyalty, about community and caring for one another. You’re in the middle of it, yes, but ultimately it’s not about you._

At some point in the evening Ensign Tagashi had come to check up on him, but she hadn’t stayed long, and to his relief hadn’t tried to give him a pep talk or even discuss the trial at all. After that he’d taken up Kathryn’s copy of the Inferno again, and had tried to find comfort in the centuries-old words, and Kathryn’s note. But it only made him feel worse. So instead he’d spent hours trying to brace himself for a second day of sitting quietly, helpless to take matters into his own hands. That was by far the hardest part in all this – to let others take over while he was stuck immobile, a sitting duck for anti-Maquis sentiments among Starfleet. The fighter part of him struggled to stay still while the fists of retribution beat down on him.

By the time he was escorted to his seat in the courtroom on the next day, his sleepless night had left him edgy and frustrated, with an ashy taste in his mouth. As he crossed the distance to his seat, his gaze wandered over the anxious and familiar faces of Voyager’s crew – Maquis and Starfleet alike – and this time he found himself meeting Kathryn’s gaze when his eyes slid over to the front row. She was already sitting, leaning forward with both elbows on her thighs and her hands clasped together anxiously. She looked even more exhausted than he felt, and he gave her a mock reprimanding look.  

_Stop worrying about me, I’m fine,_ he tried to say.

She arched an eyebrow in response. Despite her anxiety, there was something of her wry sense of humor and mischief there, and Chakotay couldn’t quite bite back a smile at the familiar sight. Suddenly he felt lighter, and the knot in his stomach loosened ever so slightly.

To Chakotay’s surprise, Tuvok was Larks’ first witness. Apparently the commander was back in the Vulcan system, however, so officers had to set up a subspace transmission to hear his testimony. While they had never been the best of friends, Chakotay couldn’t help but wonder what Tuvok might have to say against him, and he couldn’t quite help the small pang of betrayal. However he took it back immediately, knowing that he couldn’t hold this against Tuvok. The Vulcan hadn’t asked for this, and he was just doing his duty. Logically, of course.

“Please state your name and rank for the record.”

“Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, Chief of Security on the starship Voyager.”

“Commander, how did you first meet the defendant?”

“A little over seven years ago, I was assigned with the task of infiltrating the Maquis in order to relate information to Starfleet. Unaware of my true identity, Mr. Chakotay took me on board his vessel.”

Larks nodded. “Commander, this is your log of Stardate 48846.3, can you please read it aloud for us?”

Tuvok frowned as his console beeped. He started reading in his usual monotone: “Chief Security Officer’s Log, Stardate 48846.3. The former Maquis on Voyager continue to be insubordinate, suspicious and undisciplined. Even though Commander Chakotay has attempted to curb their behavior, his success is difficult to evaluate. I continue to harbor some doubts as to his loyalty, as I had once heard him say that Starfleet was impeded by a moral code and protocols that would only be its downfall.” Tuvok looked back up at the monitor as he finished reading.

“Objection!” Takayla cried, “Hear say!”

“Overruled, this is a first witness account, I’ll allow it.”

“Commander, when did you hear the defendant say those words?”

“When I was working undercover on his Maquis ship.”

“Thank you, Commander. Your witness.”

Takayla rose to her feet and approached the large screen, much as she would a person actually sitting at the stand. “Commander, do you still maintain the opinions you stated in that log, which dates back almost seven years?”

Tuvok straightened, as relieved as a Vulcan could look to be asked the question. “I do not. Over the years on Voyager, the crewmembers I was referring to have shown time and again their valor and resourcefulness, Mr. Chakotay included. I have grown to respect each and every one of them, and my doubts have proven to be unfounded.”

Takayla nodded, her brows furrowed in concentration as she planned her next question. “Commander, in your time aboard the Val Jean, would you characterize Mr. Chakotay’s actions as particularly reckless or immoral? Or as especially fitting the lack of morals you heard him discuss?”

“On the contrary,” Tuvok replied calmly, “in fact his adherence to strict principles often surprised me.”

“Is it possible then, that he spoke the words you recorded in your log in sarcasm or in jest?”

Tuvok raised an eyebrow. “Though unlikely, it is a possibility, yes. I cannot in all logic ascertain his intentions or thoughts, only report their utterance.”

_Reasonable doubt_ , Chakotay thought to himself when he understood what his sister was doing. The truth was he couldn’t even remember ever saying those words. It was unlikely that Tuvok’s memory was at fault, so Chakotay must have said it at some point, though it didn’t sound like him, not even the man he had been before Voyager.

“One last thing, Commander. Yesterday it came to our attention that while he was the Val Jean’s captain, Mr. Chakotay ordered the rescue of Federation prisoners of war from a Cardassian labor camp. Can you attest to the veracity of this statement?”

“I can.”

“Why didn’t this information reach Starfleet?”

“I cannot speak to why the individuals we rescued did not inform Starfleet. However, I personally had intended to file a report to Starfleet as soon as we fled the Badlands. Unfortunately, I had no time to do so before our ship was transported to the Delta Quadrant. Subsequently other matters took priority.”

“Mr. Chakotay’s actions at the time, and during his time on Voyager, do seem to speak louder than his words, then. Thank you, Commander Tuvok.”

The transmission was ended and Chakotay let out a slow exhale as Takayla came back to take her seat next to him. Unexpectedly, she threw him a wink, and he had to bite back a smile at the gesture. He had to admit, this wasn’t such a bad start to the day after all.

oooOooo

The Borg cube was in complete disarray.

Their reconnaissance showed that the torpedoes had succeeded in severing the link between the inorganic components of the Cube itself and the drones, and even primary systems were down. Life support being one of them, the away teams would have to don space suits before they transported to the vessel. Once on board, the Doctor and his medical team would triage through the incapacitated drones and transfer those who were in greatest need of medical attention to Voyager’s sickbay, and the others to Aspire.

The plan was sound and simple. However, they had underestimated the scale of this operation. As soon as Seven and the other away teams transported, they realized that dozens, if not hundreds, of drones had been affected by the infected torpedoes and the subsequent deactivation of life support. Recognizing that he would be more valuable on Voyager, where he could participate in the emergency treatment and de-Borging (Axum’s word) surgeries, the Doctor requested to be transferred back almost as soon as Seven’s team comprehended the scale of the rescue operation.

Once the rescue operation was put in place, the away teams split into smaller units. Seven’s team, composed of herself, Axum and Captain Stedvak, was charged with recovering transwarp coils, while Captain Uang’s team of engineers was tasked with putting life support back on. The other teams all shared the same standing orders: 1) locate living drones and organize transfer to the ships, 2) incapacitate any drones that had not been infected with the pathogen, and 3) salvage useful technology.

Seven, Axum and Stedvak decided on a direction and advanced cautiously through the dark and smoky corridors of the Cube. The smoke from the attack and the quietness that it had left behind rendered the ship eerie, even to Seven. She almost wished they would encounter active drones going about their usual tasks, but they encountered none that were not incapacitated in some fashion. In fact, this section of the ship had been badly damaged by the impact of the torpedo, and the few drones that they saw were completely deactivated. Dead. They advanced cautiously, Seven with her eyes on her tricorder to identify energy and radiation signals that might indicate salvageable technology – in addition to potential threats.

“Sickbay to Captain Stedvak.”

In the eerie silence of the Cube, interrupted only by the sound of their own breathing in their suits, Stedvak jumped at the Doctor’s voice coming through his combadge.

“Go ahead,” he replied as they advanced slowly, their paths illuminated only by the beams of their hand-held lights, and the lights from their helmets.

“I request permission to use one of the cargo bays as an additional sickbay,” The Doctor said, “our current sickbay is filling up quickly.”

“That’s fine. Do what you gotta do,” the captain replied distractedly as they moved cautiously through the debris.

“Very well.”

The communication ended and they continued their cautious advance.

“Those torpedoes you used caused a lot of damage,” Axum commented, his tone tinged with sadness at the lives lost.

Stedvak misinterpreted his tone, however. “They sure did,” he replied proudly. “It’s what they were designed to do.”

Seven frowned. “The Doctor and I were told they would be designed to incapacitate, not destroy.”

“Well, sometimes casualties are inevitable.”

“While I understand this to be true,” Axum replied as he pressed on, passing the captain whose gaze had been attracted by a control panel, “this scale of destruction is not what I had in mind.”

They continued advancing slowly, heeding the debris that had fallen in the corridors, at times forcing them to retrace their steps and find another path.

They had been exploring for 45 minutes when they entered a large circular chamber with tables, large vertical transparent tubes filled with liquid, and alcoves lining up the walls. Both Seven and Axum stopped uneasily when they recognized it as an assimilation room – where organic species were fully assimilated and equipped with inorganic body parts. Luckily the room was completely deserted.

There was a sudden spike on Seven’s readings. “Some of the transwarp coils appear to be in the next room,” she stated as she studied the readings.

Axum nodded as he pushed ahead and Seven followed him as she kept an eye on her tricorder.

“I’m surprised the Federation would be willing to use Borg technology,” Axum commented.

“As explorers, they always look for ways to travel further and faster. Voyager made use of salvaged coils when we-”

A surprised curse followed by a cry of pain called Seven’s and Axum’s attention behind them. Stedvak had not been following them; instead he had wandered to the side of the room to examine the assimilation alcoves. Borg mechanical arms had shot out of the alcoves and trapped him inside one of the pods. Assimilation needles were already digging through his space suit and into his neck, and his body was jerking at the shock of the assimilation.

Seven and Axum jumped into action and in two steps they were there, Seven immediately using a hypospray dose to inject the pathogen into the alcove’s console, and Axum pulling the captain away as the needles retracted and Stedvak slumped down. His body was convulsing, his eyes rolling back into their orbits.

And then he stopped moving.

Seven quickly used her tricorder to assess his condition. He was breathing, but unconscious, held up only by Axum’s arms under his armpits. The needles had not only compromised his suit, but an assimilation needle had also entered his temporal bone, initiating the implant process. He was in shock, possibly even suffering from brain damage. His oxygen levels were dropping rapidly. “His vitals are dropping, we need to get him back to Voyager,” Seven stated needlessly before she hurried to contact Voyager, but got no response to her hail. She exchanged a look with Axum as she tried again. To no avail.

“Something in this room must be interfering with the signal,” Axum pointed out what Seven had already deduced.

By common and tacit accord, they hurried to stand, and Axum slung the captain’s inert body across his shoulder before they retraced their steps hurriedly.

“Hopefully the nanoprobes that were injected in him will keep him alive long enough for us to transfer him,” Axum commented.

“Yes, hopefully.” While Seven cared little for the man, she didn’t wish him to die. “I should have warned him not to approach the consoles,” Seven said as she led them down the corridors.

“You couldn’t have known that it was still functioning or that the sensors were in working order,” Axum replied.

“Perhaps not, but I knew he was inexperienced. I should have paid closer attention. If he dies-”

“He’s not going to die, we’ll make sure that he doesn’t.”

She gave another try at the combadge, but once again nothing happened. She took out her tricorder once again, the captain’s pulse was getting faint. She picked up the pace a little, and Axum followed her easily. Despite the stressful situation, she was impressed by his strength.

“You know Annika,” Axum said conversationally, “this is not quite how I pictured our reunion.”

Seven threw him a look wry enough to match his tone. “Perhaps when we’re done here, and the captain is safe, we can spend some time together,” Seven said quietly, feeling a strange shyness amidst the urgency of the moment.

Axum smiled through the strain over carrying the captain. “I was hoping you would suggest that. I hear fluidic space is nice this time of year.”

Seven tried her combadge again.

“Peres here.”

Seven exchanged a relieved look with Axum.

“Commander, I request emergency transport to Voyager, the captain is in need of medical attention.”

There was a brief pause, and Seven pictured him alerting sickbay and transporter technicians. “Understood, stand by for transport.”

oooOooo

While she wasn’t particularly good at it, Kathryn had never had trouble sitting still before. However she couldn’t seem to be able to achieve that now as she listened to Tom Paris’ testimony.

Even though Tom clearly meant to help Chakotay’s case, his testimony didn’t produce the desired effect. Though he displayed his usual charm, Tom couldn’t quite seem to convince the jury when he told them his experience as a Maquis and working with Chakotay. It didn’t help when Larks was able to turn against Tom the time he’d had to act up against Chakotay in order to uncover the traitor aboard Voyager. Tom must have felt it because he gave Chakotay an apologetic, crestfallen look when he walked back to his seat.

Obviously aware of this misstep, Takayla appeared nervous when she asked the court to call for her next witness: Kathryn herself.

Kathryn spared only one glance in Chakotay’s direction – she couldn’t let herself be distracted – as she made her way to the stand. Takayla advanced and gave her an encouraging, almost imperceptible nod, before starting her questioning.

“Please state your name and rank for the record.”

“Captain Kathryn Janeway of the starship Voyager.”

“How long and in what capacity have you known the defendant?”

“I’ve known Chakotay for just over seven years – he’s served as my First Officer on Voyager while we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant. And for the record,” Kathryn added as she redirected her gaze toward the jury, “he would have remained in this position had Starfleet offered him the pardon he deserves.”

“Captain,” the judge reprimanded before Larks could even object.

Takayla took over. “Captain, please describe the orders that took you to the Badlands, the day Voyager was taken to the Delta Quadrant.”

“We were sent to the Badlands to find the Maquis ship Val Jean, which had apparently vanished a few weeks before. We didn’t know at the time that it was already in the Delta Quadrant.”

“Did you agree with the orders to bring the Maquis to justice at the time?”

“Yes.”

“Do you still?”

“No, at least not with regards to the people who served on my ship.”

“Please explain, Captain.”

“I’ve come to realize that the Maquis were acting out of desperation. We should have helped them, listened to their concerns before it degenerated into the conflict it became, we should have protected our people better. The Federation let them down.”

“Betrayed them?” Takayla suggested and Kathryn couldn’t help but be impressed by the way she had brought everyone in the audience to the same conclusion: the Federation, and by proxy Starfleet, was also guilty of treason. The responsibility went both ways.

“Objection!” Larks complained.

Judge Harris gave a reprimanding look at Takayla. “Please refrain from leading the witness, Counselor.”

Takayla gave a nod. “My apologies, your Honor. I was merely clarifying the witness’s point.” She returned her attention to Kathryn. “Captain, seven years ago, you decided to join forces with the crew of Maquis who had been sent to the Delta Quadrant just a few weeks before Voyager went through the same ordeal. Why did you reach out to the Maquis then, despite the fact that you still believed in the righteousness of your mission to deliver them to justice?”

Kathryn leaned forward, taking the tone Chakotay had once teasingly described as her inspirational speech voice. “Because in all of humanity’s history, nothing was ever as unifying as the threat of something larger than ourselves, or as moments when we were faced with the unknown. It’s in those key moments that we’ve realized that the differences that once set us apart were trivial from a cosmic perspective. This is what happened to me in the Delta Quadrant. There were so few of us left, and so few of them, I quickly realized that neither of our crews would survive in the Delta Quadrant unless we set aside our differences and worked together. Given the fact that we’re here to discuss it today, I’d say it worked out pretty well.”

Takayla nodded. “After you and Mr. Chakotay agreed to join forces, why did you choose him as a First Officer? I’m sure there were Starfleet crewmembers who would have made appropriate choices.”

“A few,” Kathryn conceded, “however Mr. Chakotay had the most experience as a Starfleet officer, with the exception of Commander Tuvok. But my choice was also strategic, Tuvok had been spying on the Maquis for months, they didn’t trust him. But they followed Chakotay, and I knew I could trust him.”

“Why? You had never met before, is that correct?”

Despite it being the logical follow-up, Kathryn blinked in surprise at the question. She had never truly come up with a satisfying answer to that question herself, except to say... “I don’t know why, I just knew. Call it instinct, if you will. It took only a few conversations with him to realize that he was more principled and trustworthy than his intelligence file suggested. And the truth was, if this was going to work, I needed him and his leadership to bring the two crews together. Not only did he achieve that, but he also did it almost seamlessly.”

Takayla nodded. “Captain, you have advocated leniency for the former Maquis on your crew, Chakotay being one of them. Why?”

“Because in my book he’s already been punished enough. Think about it. The man lost his ship, he lost most of his comrades in arms, and has had to spend the last seven years wearing the uniform of those who turned on him when they should have helped. For seven years, he’s worn it, and more gracefully and respectfully than many officers I know.”

Takayla gave an almost imperceptible smile. “Your witness.”

Admiral Larks stood to his feet and approached Kathryn before he leaned his elbow on the rail surrounding her stand. If he was trying to intimidate her, it wasn’t working.

“Captain Janeway, did you really _always_ trust Chakotay as well as you just described?”

Kathryn hesitated, but then decided to go ahead with the truth. “No. There were a few rare occasions when our trust was shaken. But it was never broken. And I might add that it’s hardly unusual for a captain and a first officer to disag-”

“Captain, stick to the question, please. In fact, there was an incident just a few months ago, was there not? The Maquis took complete control of Voyager – a full-fledged insurrection. I present Captain Janeway’s log detailing the situation as evidence 47.A.”

“Yes, but that was only because the _former_ Maquis crewmembers had been brainwashed to act that way. Commander Tuvok himself was involved in that incident – that should tell you all you need to know. If you had read the full report, you would know this, Admiral.”

“But that wasn’t the only incident, was it?”

Kathryn inevitably thought back to that time Seven had almost succeeded in convincing them that they were plotting to betray one another. She and Chakotay had agreed to leave that doubt out of their logs, and Kathryn was reluctant to make it public now, so she struggled to answer without perjuring herself.

“Chakotay and I didn’t always agree, that much is true, but his willingness to challenge my decisions is what has made him such a valuable first officer. His character is such that I have trusted him – I still trust him – with my life, and the life of my crew. And anyone who knows me will tell you that _that_ is not the kind of trust I give to just anyone. He is no traitor. Let his actions speak for themselves.”

Larks gave a small smile and Kathryn realized too late that she had stepped right into a trap. “Like the time his ship destroyed the fields on Jarvin IV, starving the local population and forcing them away from their homes? Or the time his crew raided a Federation hospital for medical equipment and medicines, affecting hundreds of lives? Or the time he ordered-”

Kathryn raised her hand to interrupt him. “You’ve made your point. In times of war we all make difficult decisions, and while I don’t condone these acts, I also know that Chakotay has repented for them, and in my book, has already paid for them dearly.”

“I’m afraid that’s not for you to decide, Captain,” Larks replied sharply before he moved back to his table to grab another PADD. He handed it to Kathryn. “I present evidence 47.B. Please read, Captain.”

Kathryn glared at him for a moment before she redirected her gaze to the PADD. She recognized it at once, it was an excerpt from her log.

“Captain’s Log supplemental, Stardate 51003.2. Species 8472 bioships have returned to fluidic space at last. As a result of our temporary alliance with the Borg, we now have a new passenger on board: Seven of Nine. I hate to say it, but I’m deeply disappointed that Chakotay acted against my wishes while I was incapacitated. I know what it cost him, he’s told me himself that going against my wishes was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, and yet, it still feels like a betrayal.”

Kathryn handed the PADD back to Larks. She could see Chakotay hang his head from the corner of her eyes. She wanted to tell him that this was all in the past, that she had gotten over it long ago.

“According to your logs,” Larks went on, “there’s even a different occasion when you relieved him of duty, because he had _threatened_ to stop you from doing your duty, isn’t that so? We even have his admission to thoughts of mutiny. If you please,” he said as he gestured for her to read the next PADD.

“First Officer’s Log, Stardate 52923.4.” She threw a look at Chakotay, but his gaze was still downcast, his head bent and leaning his chin against his joined hands, as if in prayer. “I’m worried about the Captain,” Kathryn read uneasily, feeling like she was violating his privacy. “She refuses to see that her obsession to hunt down the Equinox and Captain Ransom will take her too far to return unscathed. She has even gone as far as resolving to the threat of torture, which I cannot in good conscience let happen. Under normal circumstances I would never consider it, but the captain isn’t herself, so I put this in my log so that there is a record of my thoughts, should the need for forcefully stopping the captain arise.”

“If I may, I’d like to comment on these logs,” Kathryn said once she was done reading.

The judge glanced between the two counselors, and seeing no objection, nodded. “Go ahead.”

“This incident with the Equinox was… Let’s just say it wasn’t my finest hour. I sincerely think that in this instance Chakotay would have been well within his right to mutiny. If you had included all of the logs about this incident, you would know that I told him so myself. But the bigger point is that in the end he didn’t do it, he never crossed that line. In fact he was more forgiving of my failings than I could be for myself.”

She would always remember how he had taken the plaque from her hands when it was over, Voyager’s bridge looking as wretched as Kathryn had felt. He had brushed the debris off the metal with his hand. _Let’s put it back where it belongs._ They had been speaking metaphorically about herself, about her own fall from grace, and she had been more grateful for his loyalty and forgiveness than she could say. She hadn’t deserved to be let off the hook so easily, not after what she’d put him through. And yet, he still forgave her.

“Your point has been noted, Captain,” Larks continued. “But I wasn’t done. You may have chosen not to see the former Maquis on your crew as such, but they certainly hadn’t forgotten. Is that right?”

“I can’t speak on their behalf on that subject.”

“Well, I can – let me present evidence 49C. Once again, this is an excerpt from your log, Captain, in which you relate a conversation with the defendant, which I believe occurred just a few months ago. _While I assured him that I no longer considered those crewmen and women as Maquis but as an integral part of my crew, Chakotay replied that while I may have forgotten, they certainly hadn’t._ My point is, what these pieces of evidence point to is this: once a Maquis, always a Maquis, and by that token, rebellious and not to be trusted.”

“Objection!”

“Don’t put words in the witness’s mouth, Counselor,” Judge Harris reprimanded accordingly.

But Larks merely nodded. “Withdrawn.” He flashed Kathryn a smile. “Thank you, Captain.”

oooOooo


	15. Chapter 15

Every biobed of Voyager’s sickbay was occupied with an incapacitated drone – some of them sounded angry and confused at being separated from the Collective, while others were still unconscious. Luckily, the Doctor now had a full contingent of nurses and physicians to help him deal with this crisis.

Seven and Commander Peres stood by Captain Stedvak’s biobed. The captain was lying prone on the medical bed in isolation from the rest. He remained unconscious, as his vitals had crashed during the transportation procedure. Luckily, the medical team had been ready for them.

“Good thing you got to him as fast as you did,” the Doctor told Seven as he came to join them to give his report. “A few seconds later and he would have had a Borg cortical implant inside his brain.”

“What’s his status?” Peres asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I was able to reverse the assimilation process and now that he’s stable I’ve started removing the nanoprobes from his cells.” The Doctor paused for a moment. “He’ll be out for a while, but his injuries are no longer life-threatening. He’s probably going to have a bad headache, but aside from that I don’t foresee any permanent damage.”

“Thank you Doc,” Peres replied as he patted the Doctor’s shoulder briefly. He motioned for Seven to follow him and they stepped out of sickbay.

“I just got word,” Peres told her as they walked, “Uang’s team was able to turn life support back on inside the Cube, which makes the transfer of incapacitated drones less of an emergency. And Hawkins’s team recovered salvageable transwarp coils. Starfleet has been apprised of the situation, and they want us to continue our military strike. As soon as the Resistance takes over the rescued drones and… do with them whatever they usually do with them,” he added with a frown (and Seven realized that she didn’t know what happened to the drones after this process either), “we’ll be in good shape to move on to the next battle field.”

“Very well, I’ll inform Axum of the plan.”

“I was hoping you would. You’ll probably find him on Aspire.”

Seven raised a curious eyebrow. They had parted ways when they had returned to Voyager as he had expressed a desire to check up on the status of his own crew. “Oh?”

“He asked permission to go tend to the drones there, especially those who have already been through Borg removal surgery.”

“I see. I’ll join him there.”

“Before you go, I’ve also been asked to give you a message from Starfleet Command: apparently they are preparing an official welcoming ceremony for the Voyager crew, which is to take place in a few days. They hope that you and the other members of the original crew will be able to return for the occasion. Apparently they were hoping to do it after you and the others had returned, but the scheduling went awry… and well, you know how these things go.”

Seven raised her eyebrows. She didn’t know, but she would take Peres’ word for it. How trivial such a message sounded in light of what was happening here. “Thank you for the message, I will relay it to the Doctor and the other crewmembers. However, returning to Earth now would be most inconvenient.”

“True. But with Species 8472’s help, or if we could equip Voyager or the Delta Flyer with those beautiful transwarp coils, it’s not impossible. Think on it and let me know what you decide. And for what it’s worth, I think you should go. After what your crew has been through, I think you should go – and I’m sure Captain Janeway would want you there as well.”

Seven nodded her acknowledgement, understanding that his insights were likely correct. “I will consider it.”

She found Axum in Aspire’s sickbay, quietly speaking with a former male drone. The rescued drone was in tears, with his head in his hands, but Axum sat in front of him, his expression sympathetic. The sight made Seven come to an abrupt halt. She watched Axum as he put a comforting hand on the man’s shoulder, his expression earnest and sincere. Seven felt a swell of admiration for him. This was a new sentiment where Axum was concerned; before and from what little she remembered from Unimatrix 0, she had always felt an attraction, a powerful pull toward him, as well as affection for his mischievous personality. But she could not recall admiration.

As if sensing her presence, he looked up and gave her a small smile. He squeezed the man’s shoulder and stood to meet her.

“I’ve never witnessed a drone in such distress before,” Seven commented. In fact Borg drones generally felt none of the emotions associated with individuality, such as remorse, guilt or despair. Or love.

“I see it often in drones when they are severed from the Collective. Sometimes they want to return to the Collective, but sometimes they are so relieved to recover their individuality the emotion overtakes them. And sometimes they remember what they have done, and weep in guilt and sorrow at the pain they caused.”

“And you comfort each of them,” Seven stated as she looked at him with new eyes, as if seeing him for the first time. Suddenly he looked somewhat older, more mature, a wiser version of the boyish man he usually was. It gave him an air of dignity that had not been there before. The swell of admiration increased.

“I do what I can.” He paused as he rubbed his forehead tiredly. “How’s the captain?”

“The Doctor assures us he will live.”

“That is a relief.”

“What happens to them? The drones, once they are recovered?” Seven asked, thinking back to Commander Peres’ comment before.

“We return them to their homes, if they so desire. Species 8472 has been of great help with that. But many of them wish to stay with us.” He glanced around the room. “I confess, we’ve never had to deal with so many of them at once before. At the moment our fleet is too small to carry that many. Your weapons are almost too effective. I have to start thinking about what we’re going to do with them when your vessels return to the Alpha Quadrant.”

“Perhaps we can find a suitable planet where they would be free to rehabilitate without pressure.”

Axum smiled as he gazed at her. “A safe haven for them to flourish and rediscover their individuality. What a marvelous idea!”

It suddenly occurred to her that this was exactly what Voyager had provided her: a safe environment for her to reacquaint herself with her human individuality. Even though she had resented it at first, she was now grateful to the crew and the captain for allowing her to become part of the crew.

“The logistics will be formidable,” she stated, “to be able to sustain a population of that size in a new settlement. You will require medical personnel, engineers, exobiologists and botanists. Geologists would also be valuable.”

He nodded, still smiling. “I’m sure we can figure it out. Of course,” he added with a mischievous grin, “it would be of great comfort to us all if you assisted us.”

Seven ignored the plea beneath his teasing tone – he truly wished she would stay longer. The thought lingered in her mind.

“The first question is,” he went on, recovering his serious expression, “how do we find a suitable planet?”

Seven arched a brow. “I believe I have just what we require for the search.”

oooOooo

Mea had not lost her job.

Much to her surprise, she and Ensign Montmorency had returned to work as if nothing had happened after the incident in Admiral Larks’ office. As if they had not witnessed their superior officer acquiescing to personal and vengeful motives in his persecution of the Maquis to Captain Janeway.

As surprising as it had been to witness the exchange, Mea couldn’t in good conscience be surprised by the Captain’s accusations. While she would have thought differently just two weeks ago, her eyes had now been opened to Admiral Larks’ failings when it came to his unrelenting quest to punish the Maquis. Had she not heard him speak disparagingly of them herself?

So, this was how Mea found herself in attendance of Mr. Chakotay’s trial, sitting near the witness stand, as per her assignment – rather than packing her office.

As a student of the law, Mea couldn’t help but be impressed by the defense. She was aware that Mr. Chakotay’s representative was his sister, but that took nothing away from her performance. Mea found herself admiring the quiet style of the dark-haired woman; she had a way of shining confidence but without pomp or vanity, and intelligence without intimidation. Such qualities were rare at the JIG’s office. If Mea ended up a fraction of what Counselor Takayla was, she would be satisfied indeed.

Despite Ms. Takayla’s talent with words, however, the trial felt like a tennis match. One moment the defense seemed to have the upper hand, but in the next moment the prosecution’s smash turned the set. By the end of the second day, Mea had no idea where the scale of Justice dipped. Captain Janeway’s testimony had been powerful, and yet in the end the prosecution had been able to use even her against Mr. Chakotay.

The court had adjourned after the captain’s testimony to allow the jury to review all of the evidence and logs that had been presented to them during the day. The defense had scrambled to provide the jury with the complete logs (since the prosecution had used excerpts without context) in time for their recess.

As Mea had accompanied Mr. Chakotay and his counselor back to the cellblocks, she couldn’t help but wonder what the defense’s next step would be. Apparently she wasn’t the only one wondering.

“What now?” Chakotay had asked tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose, as Mea had opened the meeting room for them.

“It might not actually be as bad as it looks,” Ms. Takayla replied, though her tone was far from convincing.

“I want to believe that,” Mr. Chakotay had replied, “and I think you want to believe that too. But we both know it’s not true. If Larks was able to use Kathryn against me, he could use anyone. And I know you’re running out of aces.” Chakotay had paused to look at his sister. “It’s time, Takayla. I need to speak for myself. Call me to the stand.”

Mea had stepped away to review the daily security logs that the security officer had given her, and applied her signature. However she couldn’t help but overhear the continued conversation.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because this is exactly what Larks wants. I have to give it to the man, he’s played this masterfully, because _this_ is exactly where he wanted you: desperate and afraid and willing to take a chance.”

Mr. Chakotay had sighed. “What have I got to lose at this point?”

Takayla had lowered a voice, but her tone was emotional. “Don’t you see, Chak? _Everything_. If this doesn’t go well, you’ll lose everything. And, to top it all, it’ll be my fault.”

Mea hadn’t been able to resist looking up at them. Mr. Chakotay had looked confused, if a little angry. “How would it be your fault, Takayla? You never joined the Maquis, you never did those things they’re accusing me of! Do you think I blame Kathryn for what Larks made her say? Do you think I blame Tom? Hell, I don’t even blame Tuvok! Whatever happens, I will only ever blame myself. _I_ made the choice. So please, call me to the stand. I need to defend myself.”

They glared at each other for a long moment, until Ms. Takayla suddenly turned her head to Mea. Mea shifted on her feet guiltily at being caught eavesdropping. “Ensign Tagashi, you’re a law school student and you know Admiral Larks, what do you think?”

Mea shook her head as stared between the two of them. “It’s really not my place to say, Ma’am.”

“Off the record,” Takayla had pressed, one hand on her hip, curiosity tingeing her otherwise annoyed expression.

Mea hesitated for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. “I think you’re right. Admiral Larks is hoping to get you to call Mr. Chakotay to the stand, so he must have something up his sleeve. That said, I also think that if you can anticipate what that asset could be, you also run the chance of defeating his argument, of beating him at his own game. In which case, it would be a win-win situation.” Mea had paused. “It’s a risk, but I would call Mr. Chakotay to the stand to defend himself.”

Brother and sister had exchanged a look before Ms. Takayla let out a long sigh and placed her briefcase on the table. “Alright then. If that’s really what you want Chak, we need to get to work and figure out what kind of dirt he might have on you. Because I’ll be damned if I let you go out there, and screw up everything I’ve worked so hard to establish.”

There was a ghost of a smile tugging at Mr. Chakotay’s lips as he shifted his gaze from Mea to watching his sister and counselor pull out her PADDs and drop herself into the chair.

Mea had excused herself after making sure that they didn’t need anything further. It had been a long day, so she had decided to go home directly. She’d found her aunt meditating amidst Vulcan lamps and candlelight in the living room, and Mea had decided to join her, to help clear her mind.

It had probably worked a little too well because the next day she fell back to sleep after her alarm clock had gone off, so she made it to the office with barely any time to spare. So it was with a rattled demeanor that she met Mr. Chakotay and his counselor at his cell. As flustered as Mea was, _he,_ on the other hand, looked perfectly calm, if even more weary than he’d appeared the day before. Ms. Takayla appeared anxious, but she was hiding it rather well beneath a grave expression.

This day of trial started with Admiral Larks calling in two individuals as expert witnesses, the first one a psychologist boasting of specializing in war psychology. Apparently he had conducted interviews with the few Maquis who were still alive and imprisoned, and had come to some conclusions as to the mental and emotional incentives for joining that movement. He made Mr. Chakotay look like either a pawn for grander masterminds, a spineless sheep who had had really no choice but to act the way he had; or a warmonger with sociopath tendencies, the kind of person who only found validation and pleasure in violence and conflict. Both of these portraits were so unlike what Mea had observed herself that she had well understood Captain Janeway’s angry scowl. Takayla’s question had destroyed the man’s credibility, however, when she asked if the witness had interviewed Mr. Chakotay. He hadn’t.

That had been the end of that.

The second witness had been a Bajoran diplomat during the conflict, and someone who could say a lot about the intricacies of the war and the Maquis’ role in it. His testimony was much more damaging, because he was able to propose multiple alternatives to the Maquis taking arms. It made the Maquis in general, and Mr. Chakotay in particular, seem like impulsive youths with no regard for the wiser grounds of diplomacy and interstellar politics.

By that point, Mea observed that both Takayla and Captain Janeway’s expression had turned grim. Janeway in particular looked as though she had swallowed something bitter. Despite all this, Mr. Chakotay never flinched, and Mea couldn’t help but admire his poise.

After the diplomat was dismissed, Mr. Chakotay exchanged a pointed look with his counselor, who stood to her feet. “Your Honor, I’d like to call my final witness. Mr. Chakotay himself.”

A murmur coursed through the crowd. Apparently brother and sister had not informed Captain Janeway, because shock suddenly overtook anxiety in her expression. She sat straighter, eyes wide, touching her fingertips together distractedly as her gaze shifted between Mr. Chakotay and his sister with a mix of curiosity and apprehension.

Mr. Chakotay walked to the witness stand and took his seat calmly, his hand trailing on the rail leisurely as he sat. He bit his lip briefly – perhaps the only outward sign of nervousness – before looking up at his counselor.

“Please state your name and rank for the record.”

“My name is Chakotay. For the last seven years I served as Commander and First Officer on the starship Voyager. The special commission and rank were granted by Captain Janeway upon both of our crews getting stranded in the Delta Quadrant.”

Takayla nodded as she walked up to his stand, as if they meant to share a private conversation. Their kinship was no secret, so it made the jurors lean closer, intrigued to be part of this family conversation. Leave it to the counselor to take advantage of humans’ tendencies for voyeurism. “Why did you decide to take the stand today?” She asked quietly.

Chakotay bit his lips again, then worked his jaw. “I’m heartily grateful to all my Voyager colleagues, and my captain,” he added with a brief look in Janeway’s direction, “who testified on my behalf. They know me in ways that I could never know myself. They’ve seen me mourn and learn over the last seven years, they know what kind of man I’ve become, and I hope they know the part they played in helping me become that man. However I also know that joining the Maquis almost ten years ago was my doing, and mine alone. So I’ve decided to take the stand today, because if you’re going to judge me for that,” he added for the jury’s benefit, “you should at least be able to hear my side of the story. Understand what that decision meant, and what it cost me.”

Over the next several minutes, he told the court about how, over ten years ago, he had heard of the growing tension between the Bajorans and Cardassians. Though he had been stationed in North America by Starfleet at the time, he had grown concerned about his family who resided on a colony near the border, on the edge of Federation space. For months, he had followed the development of the conflict from afar, learning what he could through Starfleet and unofficial channels. One day he’d received a communication from his father, announcing that the Cardassians were threatening to invade his home colony’s system unless they agreed to provide food for their fleet. Chakotay’s father had been part of a local resistance, which in time had joined the larger Maquis organization. Chakotay, though concerned, had preferred to take the side of diplomacy. That is, until he had learned of his father’s death. The man had died defending his home planet from the Cardassians.

“All I’d ever wanted was to be a Starfleet officer,” Chakotay explained, “to explore the cosmos, to discover new life forms and understand their history. But a different kind of duty called for me that day I learned of my father’s death.”

Chakotay had left Starfleet almost right away, and returned to his home planet. By then the Cardassians had succeeded in “persuading” the population to succumb to their demands, and when Chakotay saw the terror and anger that this tribute was causing for his people, it had confirmed his instincts that he could no longer just stand by. Meanwhile, the Federation had gotten involved in the negotiations, yet things were moving slowly. Too slowly. While the Federation played politics, Cardassians continued to massacre and invade and take what wasn’t theirs, including lives. So Chakotay had done everything in his power to hamper the Cardassians – raid their facilities, infiltrate their ranks, sabotage their ships, even cut off their access to dilithium by targeting mines in the area.

At this reference to the dilithium mines – the same ones Captain Janeway had confronted Larks about before the trial – Mea’s gaze had snapped to Captain Janeway before shifting to Larks to see his reaction; his head was bent over documents on the table in front of him, but Mea noticed how he suddenly went very still.

“I’m not proud of it,” Chakotay went on, oblivious. “I’m not proud of what I had to do then, and I’m not proud of dragging people I admire more than anything out here today because of those actions. But at the time I didn’t see another way out of this. Inaction would have been a greater crime.”

By then the Federation had declared the Maquis outlaws, and even though for him this conflict had never been about the Federation, he’d had to evade both Cardassian and Federation forces.

“You know the rest.” Chakotay concluded when his story got to the moment his ship had been flung to the Delta Quadrant he stopped.

For a long moment the room went utterly quiet as people processed the story.

“Was it worth it?” Takayla asked softly eventually, her tone reflecting the same emotion as the one that was palpable in the room. Chakotay’s tale had left few people untouched.

Chakotay had given a small, sad shrug, his brows furrowed together. “I honestly don’t know. In the end, the Cardassians got what they wanted, and most of the Maquis were killed. And yet, I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if I had done nothing to help my people.”

“Is your home colony still occupied?” Takayla asked, anticipating Mea’s own question.

Chakotay exhaled. “No. At least one good thing came out of that conflict: the Maquis and the local resistance were able to send them on their way. With the new treaty now in place, my home planet is back under the Federation’s protection, and I have every confidence that, should the need arise, the Federation will hold up to their end of the bargain this time.”

“Would you do it all again, if given the chance?”

Chakotay hesitated only for one moment. “Yes, but not for the reason you think. You see,” he shifted on his seat, leaning forward, “without me joining the Maquis, I would have never found myself in the Badlands, my ship would never have been taken by the Caretaker, I would never have met Voyager’s crew. And without that experience, without those people, I would have never understood the true meaning of peace. I probably would have died trying. So even though I regret the actions I had to take as a Maquis, I don’t regret joining, because it’s what led me to the most incredible, terrifying, enlightening journey of my life, and to the most brilliant and resourceful people I have ever met. They’ve made me a better man, and I like to think it’s from their influence that I have the courage to sit here today, and face up to my actions, and my ghosts.”

Chakotay paused briefly. “Look, I wish I could have a logical or rational argument to defend myself with today. But as a wise person has reminded me recently,” he added with a glance in Captain Janeway’s direction, “we humans are nonsensical most of the time, no matter how much we try to convince ourselves otherwise.”

Takayla continued to anticipate some of the rebukes and questions that could have arisen had the jurors been able to ask them, and Chakotay answered them honestly, openly.

At last Admiral Lark stood to his feet and approached the stand. Chakotay visibly straightened, as if bracing himself.

“It’s quite a tale you’ve spun for us. Maybe I should call back our psychologist to discuss father issues,” he added with a smirk. There was a snickering sound from the crowd, but the judge’s glare put an end to that.

“Be careful, Counselor,” she threatened.

Still smirking, he shook his head. “My apologies, your Honor.” He turned to Chakotay again. “I’d like to address one particular incident that you didn’t divulge in your tale.”

Chakotay’s expression seemed to say ‘bring it on.’

“Can you tell us what happened to a young man named Denkotah?”

Chakotay closed his eyes, as if he had expected it but hoped it wouldn’t come up. Mea understood from his reaction that _this_ was the thing, the card that Larks had kept up his sleeve. At the same moment, there was a soft gasp coming from the back of the room, and Ms. Takayla sprang to her feet.

“Objection! May I approach, your Honor?”

Judge Harris wearily gestured for both counselors to approach.

Mea couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Ms. Takayla seemed agitated, and Larks was gesticulating wildly in argument. After a moment, the counselors returned to their seats.

“I’ll allow this line of inquiry,” Judge Harris stated, “but thread carefully, Counselor.”

Larks nodded. “Am I allowed to ask the defendant who that man was in relation to himself? I believe it speaks to the gravity of the point I am hoping to make.”

“I’ll allow it,” the judge repeated, prompting an exchange of looks between Chakotay and his sister.

“Mr. Chakotay, who was this man, Denkotah? And how did you know him?”

“Denkotah was a young man from my home colony,” he answered on a long exhale. “I’d known him all my life. Eventually he became husband to my sister, and father to my nephew.” Mr. Chakotay’s gaze redirected toward the back of the room, where a dark-haired boy was sitting amid Starfleet officers.

“Let me repeat my earlier question. Can you tell us what happened to him?”

“Yes, he died.”

Larks approached the stand again. “Please describe the circumstances of Mr. Denkotah’s death.”

Chakotay worked his jaw for a moment. “Like many of my home colony’s sons and daughters, he was angry about the Cardassian demands on our people. Understanding his anger and need to take action, I…” he faltered and cleared his throat. “I convinced him to join the Maquis. He was eager to accept, even though my sister, his wife – who was then several months pregnant – disagreed. But, unlike most of us, he had no tactical or technical training, and my mistake was thinking his eagerness made up for his lack of proper training. So one day,” he swallowed, “we were planning a raid on a Cardassian stronghold, but at the last minute one of the soldiers who was supposed to provide tactical support was reassigned, so I took Denkotah instead. He died under enemy fire that day.”

There was a heavy silence.

“What happened then?”

Mr. Chakotay drew in a slow breath, as if bracing himself for the next part. “I took his weapon, and fired on every Cardassian who stood in my path until we got what we needed and took off.”

Larks’ expression brightened in triumph, while Mr. Chakotay’s was grim, as if he was nauseous. “Your witness.”

Ms. Takayla stood to her feet slowly, her hand on the table, and to Mea’s trained eye it looked as though the table provided actual support while she regained her composure. Then she straightened. “Mr. Chakotay, do you think you could have done anything differently that would have changed the outcome that day?”

“The outcome, I don’t know. I do know I let my anger and my sorrow take hold of me. After Denkotah died in my arms, all I could think about was how I was going to tell my sister the news. How she would have to raise a child on her own, because I had drawn her husband into the cause. So, could I have acted differently? Probably. I could have tried to keep our mission non-lethal, as had been my modus operandi until then. But who’s to say? Maybe different actions could have resulted in more casualties on both sides. The truth is, we’ll never know. And even though there were some Maquis who would have taken pride in such an act, I couldn’t.” He shifted, his tone taking an angry edge. “If the point of this whole line of questioning is to highlight flaws in my character, or show that, like any human, I’m capable of bad decisions, then let me say that I don’t need a jury or a judge or anyone else to remind me. I can do it perfectly well on my own. I’m haunted by this moment to this day, and I’ve had to learn to live knowing I had taken those lives, and that I am responsible for my brother’s death. I’ve had to make my peace with it. And so has my sister. I can only hope she can find in her heart to forgive me,” he added.

There was a short pause, and then… “I’m sure she already has,” was Ms. Takayla’s reply.

Despite the Vulcan influences over her upbringing, Mea struggled to keep her composure at the glance that passed between them. She wasn’t the only one; she noticed from the corner of her eye Captain Janeway dabbing at her eyes covertly.

Mea turned to look at the jury, and noticed that a few of them also looked shaken, though whether that would play in Mr. Chakotay’s favor still remained to be seen.

“I only have one final question,” Takayla asked, her voice returning to her usual tone. “You’re haunted by the lives you took during that conflict. Do you think the Cardassians hold such remorse over the lives they took?”

“Objection! Calls for an opinion!”

“Withdrawn,” Takayla replied before she returned to her seat.

“Thank, you, Mr. Chakotay,” Judge Harris said, dismissing Chakotay from the stand.

The two counselors then proceeded to make their closing statement. Both of them basically reiterated their main points about their position on the possibility of morality attenuating circumstances in treason cases. It was impossible to say where the jury swayed.

“This court is in recess until the Jury comes to a unanimous decision.”

The gavel echoed in the room, like a death knell.

oooOooo

 


	16. Chapter 16

“This one has all of the necessary parameters: a breathable atmosphere, a gravitational pull similar to that of other M-class planets, abundant plant life and water,” Seven listed, her eyes on the 3-dimensional display in Voyager’s Astrometrics.

“Is it inhabited?” Axum asked. They had been searching for a potential planet to set up a rehabilitation basecamp for incapacitated drones through the database in Astrometrics for over an hour now, and Axum was now leaning casually against the console.

“Yes, a small portion is inhabited.”

“We should probably figure out why the big portion is not.”

She had expected him to ask about the local inhabitants, but he made a good point. Seven gave an acknowledging nod. If they were to share this planet with its native occupants, it would be useful to know why the local agglomerations clustered in one particular area. “I will run additional scans.”

“Sickbay to Seven of Nine and Commander Peres,” the Doctor’s voice resounded through Seven’s combadge. “Your presence is requested in sickbay.”

Seven exchanged a look with Axum. “I will return shortly. You may continue scanning if you wish.”

“Actually I think I am in need of sustenance. Are your alcoves functional?”

“Have you not had fresh food since you were separated from the Collective?”

“No, I confess it’s been simpler to keep using the alcoves. That way we don’t have to worry about finding fresh food to sustain the crew.”

“A sound argument,” Seven conceded. “However, if you will wait for me, I believe you are, as my friend Neelix would say, in for a treat.”

He smiled. “Very well, I will yield to your superior knowledge. And continue scanning in the meantime.” He threw a look at the security officer in the corner of the room. “ _He_ will make sure I don’t get lost,” he added wryly, and Seven shared his look. It was merely protocol, but she understood his wry amusement.

When she stepped into sickbay, Commander Peres was already present, standing with the Doctor by Captain Stedvak’s biobed. The commander had his hand covering his mouth and for a moment Seven feared the worst. However as she got closer she saw that Peres was in fact attempting (and failing) to hold back laughter.

As she approached, Seven realized he was laughing at Captain Stedvak’s predicament: the captain was still lying in his bed with his eyes closed, but he was talking, a silly smile on his face. “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful,” he was saying, his words slurred as if inebriated.

Commander Peres snorted. “You think he’s dreaming he’s talking to his reflection in the mirror?” He asked the Doctor.

Seven frowned as she stepped next to them. “What is the matter with him?”

The Doctor looked sheepish. “He came to about half an hour ago, and complained about a severe headache, so I gave him something for the pain. However I _may_ have given him a little too much.”

Seven raised an eyebrow. The Doctor didn’t usually make mistakes like this, something could be wrong with his program. “ _May_ have?”

“He was complaining very loudly,” the Doctor explained as if it justified his action, resulting in Commander Peres’s shoulders to shake with laughter again.

“I do not see the amusement in the situation,” Seven told him.

He cleared his throat and straightened but his lips twitched. “Of course, you’re right. Although in my defense, if you had seen the ego he carried with him at the Academy, you would think this a fitting case of karma.”

“Why have I been summoned?” Seven asked as she redirected her gaze to the Doctor.

“Ever since he’s started this… delirium, he’s said a number of things that struck me as concerning. I immediately called Commander Peres, and we agree that the captain’s… ramblings, for lack of a better word, could actually be of some importance, especially for Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay. Well, Mr. Chakotay.”

As if on cue, Stedvak suddenly thrashed on the bed, his face shifting into an anxious frown. “No, you don’t understand, you promised me Voyager! You can’t take it back, you can’t, no…You don’t understand. I have to…” His words slurred to a mumble that Seven couldn’t quite catch.

“Things exactly like this,” the Doctor nodded pointedly.

“I don’t understand,” Seven said as she glanced between the Doctor and Commander Peres, who was now fully serious.

“Some of what he says is just gibberish, but it sounds like he’s actually been talking about the circumstances leading to his assignment to Voyager,” Peres explained, “and let’s just say it wasn’t entirely done by the book.”

“…first command and …” Stedvak mumbled incoherently, before he resumed, “you send me to the Borg!” he cried before he calmed again.

“Explain.”

Peres exhaled. “From what we could make out, it sounds like his father actually bribed someone in high command, likely an admiral, to make sure Stedvak would be the one to be assigned to Voyager for this mission. Though Simon hasn’t said why so far. But it’s kind of a big deal, because his father is the Starfleet Justice Inquirer General.”

“The very same man who is currently trying to inculpate Mr. Chakotay of treason,” the Doctor finished. “But I’m afraid there’s more.”

“Admiral Larks also apparently bribed the same individual to vote in favor of issuing that warrant for the Maquis’ arrest in the first place. The point is,” Peres went on, “that the captain’s testimony could incriminate his father for corruption, if we could convince him to make his knowledge public.”

“And maybe help Mr. Chakotay’s trial, if it’s not too late,” the Doctor finished.

Seven took a second to absorb this information.

Meanwhile, Peres turned to the Doctor. “The question is: how do we make sure that Stedvak confirms these allegations in front of a jury?”

“Well, on that front,” the Doctor added ruefully, “the security footage will be evidence enough. The question is rather whether Stedvak will own to his delirium.”

“And who we should trust with this information.”

“Well, that question at least is easily remedied,” Seven supplied. “We’ll give it to Captain Janeway.”

“I hate to sound paranoid here,” Peres replied, “but how do we make sure our message isn’t intercepted?”

“We’ll find a way to deliver it safely,” Seven replied. “In person if need be. Let’s reconvene a meeting with Axum and This One. It appears we’ll require Species 8472’s assistance once again.”

oooOooo

That night after Chakotay’s testimony, it had been impossible for Kathryn to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she would see Chakotay sitting in that witness chair, wearing that awful prison suit, justifying his choices and decisions, sharing some of the most difficult moments of his life. And though parts of his tale had been shocking even to her, all she could think about as she listened was how brave he was to take the stand. How courageous he was to lay his heart out, his _soul_ , for the world to see, for strangers and friends alike to judge and criticize. And his entreaty to his sister to forgive him… It had almost been too much for Kathryn to bear. In light of the revelations about what had happened to Takayla’s husband, their estrangement had suddenly made more sense. Chakotay would be well within his right to be angry with Kathryn for putting her nose where it didn’t belong.

Eventually Kathryn had just given up on sleep and had done everything she could to keep herself occupied. She’d finished unpacking her boxes, taken a bath, taken a walk in the deserted Starfleet Quad, tried to read, went to her building’s holodeck facility to get a good work out, taken another bath… To no avail. What her heart really wanted was run to the JIG brig, shut down that force field and…

And what?

Bust Chakotay out of his cell? Throw her arms around him? Show him how much he had touched her with his words and his courage? Kiss his guilt and pain away? Show him how much she loved him?

She had never acknowledged that before, not even to herself.

But she refused to think about that too. All of it was made even worse by the fact that she _couldn’t_ see him, not until after his trial. And even then, she might not get a chance.

_No_ , she told herself sternly, the jury would vote in his favor. They had to. She couldn’t fathom the alternative.

Since sleep was out of the question, she eventually settled with the documents that B’Elanna had found regarding Andrew Larks’ holdings on the border, especially the dilithium mines that the Maquis – perhaps even Chakotay himself – had destroyed. After all he had admitted to targeting mines himself. Miraculously, there had been no casualty on the day Larks’ particular mine had been destroyed – and Kathryn briefly wondered how the Maquis had pulled that off. The evidence that B’Elanna had gathered from DS9’s logs amounted to transaction records showing that Larks and his associates had been selling the dilithium to a number of entities near the station, including Starfleet itself, and multiple civilian merchants. There was also a report that Larks’ company had filed detailing the destruction of their assets, explaining to Starfleet why they couldn’t meet their supply contract.

Ever since B’Elanna had shared this paper trail with her, Kathryn had been convinced that the destruction of what must have been a lucrative venture gave Larks motive enough for putting out the warrant against the Maquis on her crew. Vengeance was as powerful a motive as any, and his reaction when she had confronted him in his office seemed to confirm her suspicions. However they still didn’t have anything to prove any criminal intent on his part, even less how this whole business connected to Chakotay’s trial. So Kathryn had decided to comb through the logs again, hoping to find something, anything, more tangible.

One thing that her mind kept going back to as she worked was that story that B’Elanna had recounted about the prisoners of war that Chakotay’s crew had rescued from a Cardassian labor camp just before his ship had been sent to the Delta Quadrant. It had no bearing whatsoever on Chakotay’s current plight, but her curiosity got the better of her. What had happened to these people? And why hadn’t Starfleet been made aware of their situation? After all, Larks had spoken the truth: by decree of that treaty there had been no prisoners unaccounted for. So had Starfleet Command lied about this, or had they been oblivious?

On a whim – after all she had several hours before sunrise – Kathryn decided to dig deeper. She started by perusing the public records and media outlets that would have discussed the rescue, but found nothing about that incident. After a while, she decided to communicate with Tuvok on Vulcan.

As was his customary practice in the evenings, he had been meditating, but he assured her that she wasn’t disturbing him. He asked about Chakotay’s trial and Kathryn updated him as best she could.

“I am sorry that my early prejudices were used against Mr. Chakotay in this fashion. In particular since I no longer harbor those opinions.”

“I’m sure he knows that.”

Kathryn asked him about the incident with the prisoners and Tuvok told her the story again, this time in more details. He remembered the names, species, and age of each of the people they had rescued, and he had even memorized their background stories. Kathryn took some notes, asked some questions or clarifications as she listened.

“May I ask as to why you are inquiring about this, Captain?” Tuvok asked when he was done with the tale.

“It’s probably nothing, but the fact that no one has ever heard of this nags at me. Well, even if there’s nothing amiss here, the least Starfleet can do is acknowledge their hardship. Thank you Tuvok.”

By the early hours of morning, she discovered that one of the women on Tuvok’s list actually now resided on Earth, so as soon as it was a decent hour, she left a transmission for her, letting the woman know she was interested in hearing her story, if she were willing to share it. It might not come to anything, but now that she’d gone so far, the least Kathryn could do was see this through. Besides, it gave her something to focus on other than her anxiety for Chakotay or her ever-present worry (at this point it felt like background noise in her mind) for Voyager and its crew.

By the time she made it to the court, she was functioning entirely on whatever energy caffeine was giving her. She met with B’Elanna and Tom (who had Miral with them today) in the hallway outside of the courtroom. They were standing with Harry and Nimkotay.

“Captain! The jury is still out debating,” Ensign Kim told her when he spotted her, and she joined their group.

“Is that a good thing?” Nimkotay asked as he looked up between Tom and Kathryn.

“I sure hope so,” Kathryn replied, though she exchanged a look with B’Elanna. All it told them, really, was that the jury couldn’t find unanimity, so whatever direction they were swaying, there was at least one juror blocking the vote. And it was impossible to tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

They waited for several hours, and they had to take turns making coffee runs and trying to distract Nim. He was a quiet boy, but Kathryn worried about just how quiet he had become, withdrawn. She suddenly felt a pang of guilt for not really considering how this must be affecting him. On a whim, she decided to take him outside for some fresh air and a change of scenery. They sat down on the main stairs leading up to the entrance of the building, looking out onto Starfleet Headquarters and the gardens of the main quadrangle.

Kathryn told him about San Francisco, about Starfleet, anything that came to mind really, anything to distract him (and herself). After a while he brightened a little and started asking questions, which Kathryn was more than happy to answer.

“I knew the story, about my father,” Nim started suddenly, his hand busy drawing lines on the ground with a twig he had found earlier. “But when I heard it again… and from my uncle…I thought…” he trailed off with a small shrug.

“What did you think?” Kathryn pressed gently, her heart going out to him.

He shook his head. “I don’t know… Mother always made it sound like my dad died a hero, but hearing the story from my uncle… It didn’t sound like he was a hero at all. Just… a regular man who got killed while trying to steal stuff from the Cardassians.”

Kathryn let out a slow exhale as she redirected her gaze to the busy Quad and the countless Starfleet and cadet uniforms scurrying around. “Oh I don’t know about that. I think both your father and your uncle must have been very brave to do what they did.” She realized as she said it that she meant it. “To stand up to the Cardassians, to fight for what they believed in? Think about it, they put their lives on the line to help the people of your homeworld, to protect _you._ To give _you_ , and the other children of your planet, a future where you would never know war, or fear.”

Nim considered it for a moment, his dark brows were furrowed in such a familiar way, Kathryn couldn’t help a small smile. “Well, I suppose… The war _did_ end before I was old enough to remember, so…” he reasoned.

“See? Then they succeeded. To me that sounds like something heroes would do.”

Nim nodded wisely before he gave a small shrug. “But, I still feel fear, sometimes.”

Kathryn studied his profile, the dark brows furrowed together, the thick eyelashes that had the striking effect of bringing out his eyes. “Are you afraid now? For Chakotay?”

Nim raised his eyes to hers and nodded swiftly, blinking away tears.

Kathryn put her arm around his shoulders. “Well, it’s okay to be afraid. I’m afraid too. But you have an advantage over me, do you know why? Because you come from a family of very strong and resilient people, whatever happens today, you’ll…”

“Stick together,” Nim finished automatically, as if it had been drilled into him. Kathryn bit back a smile, what she had been about to say was, _you’ll pull through._ But that worked too.

“Captain!” It was Tom who had run outside to alert them. “They’re reconvening.”

Kathryn helped Nim up the stairs before they hurried to their seats. Except this time Nim sat between her and B’Elanna. Takayla and Chakotay were already seated, and both of them turned back in their direction, and both gave an encouraging smile for Nim’s benefit.

Chakotay’s dark gaze slid to Kathryn and his lips parted, as if he wanted to tell her something. But he couldn’t do so over the distance that separated them, so he closed his mouth again and gave her a small nod instead. Kathryn returned it.

At that moment the jurors made their entrance and Kathryn took Nim’s hand in both of hers.

Judge Harris called the court to order and turned to face the jury. “Members of the Jury, have you reached a verdict?”

A tall woman wearing the blue colors of the science division stood to her feet, her expression grave. “We have, your Honor.”

“Please state your findings.”

The woman hesitated only for a moment before she took in a breath. “We find the defendant…”

Kathryn held her breath, her heart beating madly against her ribcage.

“Guilty… of the charge of treason.”

An outcry of disapprobation coursed through the crowd, and Kathryn heard her own voice joining the chorus. Her heart sank before it crunched painfully and she looked at Chakotay’s back – he had hung his head. But in truth Kathryn’s vision was so blurry with sudden moisture that she couldn’t really make out anything clearly. Her thoughts were just as numb, as she tried to make sense of it.

Judge Harris used her gavel to silence the crowd before she turned to Chakotay. “Mr. Chakotay, the jurors have spoken, and thus this court finds you guilty of treason by account of your active participation in the Maquis movement between the years 2368 and 2371. However,” she paused heavily and Kathryn held her breath, a sliver of hope forming inside her at the tone, “I disagree with the prosecution that there is no moral consideration to this case – or that this is a black and white issue. Therefore I’ve been giving great consideration to all the testimonies I have heard over the last few days, about your character, about your subsequent loyal service aboard the starship Voyager. My conclusion is that I happen to agree with Captain Janeway: it’s my judgment that you have already served part of your sentence in the Delta Quadrant, especially in light of the complete annihilation of the Maquis a few years ago. The losses you have suffered certainly feel like punishment enough. Therefore, given the attenuating circumstances surrounding your case, I hereby reduce your sentence from life imprisonment, to a lifelong dishonorable discharge from Starfleet.” There were more gasps from the crowd and Kathryn leaned forward eagerly, breathless.

“Note that this discharge comes with specific stipulations, and they are non-negotiable,” the judge went on, addressing Chakotay directly, “one: you are prohibited from ever inserting yourself in Starfleet affairs, on a starship or otherwise; and two, you are never to return to the border – with the exception of your home planet. Infringement of these provisions will bring us all back here,” she added with a gesture encompassing the entire courtroom, “and I will not look kindly upon a second offense.” She gave Chakotay a pointed look, as if to say ‘we understand each other, don’t we?’ She straightened before using her gavel again. “Court is adjourned. Mr. Chakotay, you are free to go.”

Kathryn could hardly believe her ears. All she could do was lean back against her seat in relief, covering her face with her hands. They were trembling. All around her Voyager’s crewmembers were suddenly up on their feet, smiling, shaking each other’s hands, telling each other how relieved they were, how incredible the judge’s decision was.

When she looked up again, Chakotay was standing and hugging his sister tightly. A quick glance to the prosecution table and she noticed Larks’ scowl as he quickly gathered his things and left the room, without sparing anyone a glance.

Nim giggled happily next to her and Kathryn returned her attention to him, grinning, before squeezing his shoulder. She gestured for him to go to his mother, and Kathryn followed him after giving B’Elanna and Tom a quick hug and shaking hands with other members of her crew.

By the time she made it to the front, Nim was already there, being squeezed tight against his mother, and his hair being ruffled by his uncle’s hand.

Chakotay looked up from Nim, his expression a mix of relief and disbelief, and his eyes immediately found Kathryn’s. Eyes blurry again, Kathryn shook her head in relief as she bridged the distance between them. She stopped just short of colliding with him and, tilting her head back to look at him, she put her hands around his shoulders and pulled him against her. His arms went around her, and he held her tightly. Kathryn laughed out loud and she felt him shake against her – though whether he was laughing or crying or just shaking from the adrenaline she couldn’t tell. For a moment he buried his face in her neck. She had to closer her eyes tightly at the relief and the added sensations.

They pulled back and Kathryn reached out to touch his cheek – not realizing she was doing it until her thumb was resting against his temple and her fingers found his soft hair behind his ear. He looked surprised by the gesture (almost as surprised as Kathryn herself felt), but he quickly recovered and covered her hand with his, squeezing her fingers.

After a moment Kathryn pulled her hand down, but he held on to her fingers.

“So what now?” He asked as he inhaled, his voice shaky with emotion.

Kathryn knew he was asking about more than ‘now,’ but she arched an eyebrow.

“First things first: let’s get out of here.”

He smiled.

oooOooo

 


	17. Chapter 17

Chakotay was still reeling from the final verdict and the judge’s decision: he was a free man.

He could still hardly believe it. He had done such a good job of convincing himself that he would spend the rest of his life in prison, the fact that he could just step outside that building unescorted seemed unreal.

After the court adjourned, he and his sister accompanied Ensign Tagashi back to the brig so he could get his things, change back into his civilian clothes, and sign some paperwork. The walk there and back was spent mostly in a dazed kind of silence (at least that’s how Chakotay had felt); Ensign Tagashi wasn’t particularly talkative on a good day, and Takayla was mostly lost in thought. Her expression was still solemn and dazed, as if she hadn’t quite processed that it was over either. Or maybe she was still reeling from reliving the pain of Denk’s death.

“You’re all set, sir,” Tagashi said as she handed him a box with his belongings.

“Thank you,” he replied as he took it. He paused as he tried to come up with the right words to express his gratitude, his gaze traveling to the contents of the box distractedly. Tagashi had shown him decency when he hadn’t felt deserving, and she had distracted him when his hope had faltered. “You’ve been very kind to me, Ensign. Thank you.” Seeing her shake her head dismissively, he smiled. “One thing is for sure, I know you’ll make a great addition to Starfleet’s Justice Inquirer corps one day – hell you might very well run the place in a few years.”

She gave a small shy, but mischievous, smile. “In which case I hope I never have to see you professionally ever again.”

Chakotay let out a small chuckle. “You and me both.” He stretched out his hand and she took it.

“It was an honor getting to know you, sir,” she said solemnly as they shook.

Chakotay nodded before he glanced at his sister and the two of them took the main corridor out of the cellblocks and up the stairs and through the grand, main hall.

That’s where they ran into Admiral Larks, who was clearly on his way out as well. Chakotay would have been happy to just keep going and pretend, like Larks seemed to be doing, that he hadn’t seen him. However Takayla had a different idea. She walked right up to the man and extended her hand for him to shake.

When Larks threw her a disbelieving glance, she smiled her sweet smile. “I don’t know how you do things here at Starfleet Command, but where I’m from it is customary and a show of respect to shake hands with the opponent once a verdict has been announced,” she said, her expression earnest.

Chakotay had to admit, he admired her ability to swallow her pride. He definitely did not share that family trait.

Larks stared at her, then glanced at Chakotay, then returned his gaze to Takayla, as if wondering if she was mocking him. But Chakotay knew his sister was serious, and he admired her for it.

At last Larks seemed to relax a little. “Of course. As it is here. Well done, Counselor,” he said with a brief nod, though it sounded as though he was speaking through gritted teeth. “Do extend my congratulations to Captain Janeway – I hope that the judge’s verdict will absolve me in her eyes of whatever horrible things she’s accused me of doing.”

Chakotay frowned in confusion. Though Kathryn had told him she didn’t trust Larks, she had never gone into particulars, or suggested that she might actually have knowledge or proof of any wrongdoing on the admiral’s part. Chakotay had to wonder, though, first: had Kathryn found anything specific, and second: why was Larks telling _them_ this?

Takayla looked as confused as Chakotay felt. They exchanged a look.

“We’ll be happy to pass along the message, of course,” she said, “though I have to say, whatever Captain Janeway might have accused you of, I am not in the know” she replied, frowning in confusion.

That seemed to satisfy the admiral. “Oh. Well, my mistake then. Forget I said anything.” He nodded at the two of them. “Counselor. Mr. Chakotay.” And then he walked away.

Takayla turned to Chakotay while he watched the man go curiously. “What was that about?”

“I don’t know,” Chakotay replied on a sigh. “And to be honest, right now I don’t really care. I’m tired of all these games. I just want to get out of here.”

Takayla smiled and nodded. They walked to the doors and before Chakotay knew it they were stepping outside. At the stop of the stairs Chakotay took a second to tilt his face up toward the late afternoon sun, appreciating the smells and sounds of San Francisco.

Of Earth.

Of freedom.

“I hope you’ve learned to enjoy surprise parties Chak, because _that_ , over there, sure has the looks of one,” Takayla drawled sarcastically.

Chakotay followed her gaze and sure enough, almost the entirety of Voyager’s crew and a few additional interested parties were now all standing in the garden area that lined the main Starfleet quadrangle.

Apparently while he’d been busy with Ensign Tagashi, Kathryn had rounded up their people and they had all flowed out of the JIG’s building. People were now gathered up into smaller groups, chatting animatedly, waiting. For him.

“There they are,” Kathryn suddenly announced as she took a step toward them but stopped at the edge of the crowd. Chakotay glanced at his sister with raised eyebrows, and together they went down to meet them. As they walked the crew applauded and Chakotay couldn’t help a shy grin as he gestured them to stop.

Before he knew it he was facing Kathryn and shaking her offered hand (trying his damnedest not to think about the feel of her hand on his face), and then hugging B’Elanna, shaking Tom’s hand… It went on and on for a long time, and Chakotay accepted his friends’ congratulations and good sentiments with as much dignity as he could muster.

All the while all he could think about was that he needed a little time to catch up, to process. He had never been fond of being the center of attention, and part of him longed for just a few minutes to catch his breath. Of course he was grateful for the crew’s presence here, and their happiness on his behalf, but… When at last he had greeted everyone, he excused himself from Harry’s company before he stepped a short distance away from the crowd.

He wasn’t entirely surprised to find his sister had beaten him to it. She was sitting alone on a bench, with a view on the quadrangle and the impromptu gathering. Since Takayla never did things the usual way, she was perched on the back of the bench, with her feet on the seat. Her gaze was distant, but there was something wistful and content in her expression now. He smiled when he realized they were both out here looking for the same thing: a few minutes away from the excited conversations and the occasional reminiscing about the ups and downs of the trial, because Chakotay had no desire to relive it!

Chakotay went to sit next to Takayla (the usual way). He smiled when he followed her gaze and saw that had an exceptional view of the gathering, but especially of her son, who was now engaged in some kind of chasing game with Naomi Wildman, his face brightened with pleasure and excitement. Chakotay leaned back to watch them as well. But he had barely settled before his eyes wandered, as if attracted by a magnet, until they found their target. Kathryn was in serious conversation with admirals Hayes and Paris. He couldn’t hear what they were saying from the distance, especially since they seemed to be speaking in hushed tones. It must be important.

Some important Starfleet affair that he was no longer privy to.

The sudden sense of loss tightened his heart. Scolding himself for his ungratefulness, he shook the thought away. He would have plenty of time to worry about where his discharge left him later; for now he should just enjoy the fact that he was free.

“You were amazing out there, Takayla,” he said quietly, his eyes still on the crowd. “I think… I _know_ our parents would have been very proud of you. I know I am.”

The corners of her mouth twitched upwards, but her gaze never left her son. “Thanks. Don’t ever do that to me again.”

He barked out a small chuckle. “I’ll do my best.” His eyes returned to Nimkotay. “He looks like his dad,” he commented with a fond smile as he took in how much his nephew had grown while Chakotay had been traveling though the Delta Quadrant.

“He has his chin and his smile,” his mother replied, “but the eyes and forehead are all our side of the family. People in town always say he looks like you.”

Chakotay was taken aback by the swell of pride that took over his heart.

“That poor kid,” Takayla added after a beat. Chakotay’s smile easily transitioned into a snort at the teasing.

“Earlier he asked me if you were coming back with us. I think he really wants to get to know you. Ever since you started sending out those Delta Quadrant stories, it’s been Chakotay this, Chakotay that. He really looks up to you.”

Chakotay dismissed the thought with a frown. “I’m flattered. But at the moment it’s a little hard for me to imagine how I could deserve it. I’d like to, though. Hopefully I can make it up to him.” The ghosts that Larks had made him face up to, the shameful things he’d had to reveal to the world, to his friends… He wondered whether he would ever stop feeling the shame.

“For what it’s worth, Nim could do a lot worse, role-model-wise.”

Chakotay exhaled slowly, letting his sister’s words sink in, like a balm on his wounded soul. “It’s worth more than you know.”

“I admit, at first I hated it. The thought of my boy going out to become a Starfleet officer like you…” She shook her head. “But I was prejudiced without realizing. And I’ve come to realize that what defines Starfleet is its people, not the other way around. And I see a lot of good people here today. So there’s hope.” He felt her gaze on the side of his head. “I meant what I said, you know. At the trial. I _have_ forgiven you. In fact I don’t blame you for what happened, not anymore. I have people in my life now that have helped me through it.”

Chakotay twisted to look up at her and was surprised to find her smiling to herself, a new kind of blush heightening the colors of her cheeks. Realizing what this meant – that there was _one_ person in particular, Chakotay furrowed his brows mischievously as he fully turned to face her. “What’s his name?”

Her eyes flicked to his quickly, but her smile only widened. Chakotay couldn’t remember seeing her look so happy, not since Denk had died. “Karad.”

Chakotay nodded teasingly. “I see, and do I need to pull out my rusty protective brother talk and serve it to this Karad? About never hurting my sister, or else?”

She snorted. “There’s no need, I assure you. He’s a quiet, kind man.” Chakotay watched his sister, smiling, as he considered her words. Denkotah had been kind, but hot-headed and bubbly, always looking for the next joke. Maybe Chakotay wasn’t the only who had grown wiser over the years, maybe Takayla had too.

“So, what should I tell Nim?” She asked, shaking herself. “About you coming back with us?”

Chakotay’s gaze instinctively returned to Kathryn, who was still standing with the admirals. Tom had now joined their discussion, and the concerned frowns that had darkened the admirals’ expressions a few moments ago had turned into something lighter. Though the air between Tom and his father appeared a little tense, as if the two men didn’t quite know what to say to each other. They would figure it out in time.

“Tell him I’ll think about it.” He sighed. “Hell, just a few weeks ago I thought I would spend most of my life in the Delta Quadrant… and a few hours ago I thought I would spend my life in prison.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she snorted, but her smile ruined the effect of her indignation. “Though I have to say, I’ve never simultaneously won and lost a case before…”

He smiled as he shook his head. “It wasn’t from a lack of confidence in you, it was just easier to brace myself for the worst case scenario. That way I wouldn’t be disappointed.”

“I get it.” Takayla had followed his gaze to the duo of admirals, one captain and one lieutenant, so he wasn’t surprised by her next words. “I do wonder what could possibly be keeping you here…”

Chakotay let out a sigh at her sarcasm. She was referring to Kathryn, of course, but to his way of thinking it wasn’t so simple. Because their relationship had never been simple – it had threads of true friendship entangled with Starfleet hierarchy, trust with duty, chemistry with fear and well-practiced restraint. Now that Starfleet was out of the question for him, the status quo that he had endured but which Kathryn had always upheld – the status quo that had in many ways defined their relationship – had been dissipated. Part of him rejoiced in it, in the way circumstances had removed those barriers, but… Would Kathryn accept him in her life without the safety net of protocol and chains of command? Would she accept what Chakotay, the man, could offer now that the Commander was gone? Now that they were back home, would he stand a chance against the likes of Mark Johnson, those men who needn’t worry about convincing her that they could be more than a rank and a friend?

“Well,” he replied eventually, “it might still be the case that there is nothing for me here, now that Starfleet is not an option…”

There was a moment of silence as Chakotay let his gaze take in the sight of his friend, his captain, and underneath that veneer, the beautiful, inspiring woman that she was. For a moment he let his mind wander and imagined what this moment would be like if they were more than friends. She would feel his gaze on her and turn to smile at him, she would walk up to him and he would put his arm around her waist to pull her close, then he would lean down to kiss her offered lips. She would taste of coffee and wild raspberries – her favorite berries from when she was growing up in Indiana.

“I doubt that. But maybe you should find out,” Takayla pointed out.

“I’m planning on it. When the time is right.” At that moment, as if feeling his gaze on her, Kathryn turned her head and finding brother and sister looking in her direction she smiled. She excused herself from her companions and made her way through the crowd towards them. Her actions were so similar to what Chakotay’s imagination had conjured up just a moment ago, he wondered whether _this_ might not also be a figment of his imagination.

“Let me share some sisterly, unsolicited, observations,” Takayla said in a lowered voice as she leaned forward to speak into his ear, “that woman would have gone to the ends of the galaxy to save you. Sometimes actions really do speak louder than words.”

“Shh,” Chakotay hushed her teasingly as Kathryn got within earshot, to hide just how well Takayla’s words had found their mark, taunting him with a truth he had barely allowed himself to accept or consider.

Kathryn stepped up to them before she turned around to look back at the crowd, following their gazes. As a commander, Chakotay would have stood and invited her to sit, and he had to fight the urge to show her the deference they were both accustomed to. But if he really was going to tell her how he felt, he had to do it as her equal. And he figured he should start acting the part now, to get them both used to it. To ease them both into a new kind of balance. So instead he slid closer to Takayla and patted the spot next to him. Kathryn smiled at him gratefully before taking it.

Kathryn chuckled when she noticed the kids. “Your boy sure looks like he’s enjoying himself. How long will you be staying on Earth, Takayla?” She asked as she crossed her legs and twisted around to look up at Takayla, leaning her elbow on the back of the bench.

“We’ll leave in the morning, as soon as I can arrange for a shuttle. Nim and I have duties waiting for us back home.”

“Of course I understand,” Kathryn replied, her expression bright and content, “but I hope you’ll consider staying a while longer! I was just told that there is going to be an official celebration to welcome Voyager home in a few days. All of the crew’s families are invited. You’re more than welcome to join us!”

Chakotay’s smile turned wry as he threw a sly glance at Takayla. “You can take holophotographs for me while you’re there,” he quipped, but Kathryn slapped his upper arm, making him let out a surprised chuckle.

“Oh no, you’re coming too.”

“Won’t that go against the judge’s conditions?”

“Not if I have anything to say about it! You were part of Voyager’s crew, and as such you’re invited! More than that, I declare your presence to be mandatory! If anyone has a problem with you being there, we’ll tell them you’re my date!”

Chakotay bit back a curse when he felt Takayla’s toes kick his thigh. It hadn’t hurt, but it had been enough to get her not-so-subtle point across. He sent her a glare, but he had to admit, it was hard not to smile at her own poor attempts not to grin. Though he knew full well Kathryn had been joking. After a second Takayla recovered.

“In that case, maybe I’ll stick around until then,” Takayla replied.

Kathryn looked genuinely happy. “Good.”

“What about Seven and the crewmen and women who left with Voyager?” Chakotay asked. “Are they going to be back by then?”

“Starfleet Command has already apprised them. Whether or not they’ll return for this I can’t vouch for. I doubt Seven will want to cut her mission short for some speeches and promotions.”

Chakotay raised his eyebrow as Kathryn bit her lips. Clearly she hadn’t meant to spill the beans.

“Who’s getting promoted?”

“Oh no, you know too much already!”

As she spoke Ensign Wildman weaved her way through the crowd, her expression brightening when she found Kathryn. “Captain! There’s a woman here looking for you. She asked to speak with you by name.”

Frowning in curiosity, Kathryn stood to her feet and the two women spoke quietly for a moment, and Chakotay exchanged a look with Takayla.

Eventually Kathryn nodded and gave Chakotay and Takayla a grave nod. “Please excuse me, there’s something I need to take care of. This might take a while, don’t wait for me.” She left with Sam.

“What was that about?” Takayla asked.

“My guess is, something I no longer have any right to know.”

She patted his shoulder sympathetically.

  
oooOooo

“Are you out your minds?” Captain Stedvak complained loudly as he sat up in his biobed, propped up against his pillows. Many nurses and quite a few patients stared in their direction, and Captain Stedvak lowered his voice. “You seriously want to drag me back to Earth just because of things I said while I was on pain medication?”

Seven stood at the foot of his bed, her hands clasped behind her. Next to her stood Commander Peres, and on the other side the Doctor. Axum was present as well, though he had preferred to help the nurses with the drones that still filled up Voyager’s sickbay rather than participate in this conversation, which he felt was not his place to attend.

“I can’t believe you guys! What about the mission? We’re not due back for another 10 days or so!”

“It wasn’t just innocent ramblings, Simon,” Peres told him quietly, as if he were speaking to a child. “We’re talking about some serious offenses here. I was there, I heard the words come out of your mouth with my own ears.”

“Guys, come on,” Stedvak cajoled, “we’re talking about my stepfather here. He might not be the cleanest man on Earth, but he’s not evil.”

“Why did Admiral Larks bribe another official to ensure that the Maquis aboard Voyager would be put on trial?” Seven asked.

“I don’t know!” At the disbelieving stares leveled at him, he shifted on his bed. “I’m telling you, I don’t know! All I know is that he fears the Maquis almost as much as he hates them! My guess is he believes the Maquis have something on him, something he’d rather Starfleet didn’t know.”

“Such as?” Peres asked.

“Who knows? Illicit trading, falsifying evidence, your guess is as good as mine.”

Seven shared a frustrated glance with the Doctor.

“Captain, you _must_ share your knowledge of Admiral Larks’ corruption with Starfleet Command,” the Doctor entreated.

“Why? You don’t even have any tangible proof! If Starfleet doesn’t believe me, it could backfire in very bad ways for me.”

“Think about it, Captain,” Peres started again, “if you cooperate, there’s a good chance Starfleet will be _very_ grateful,” he said with a pointed look, “after all _you_ didn’t do anything wrong. However if you refuse, you might be charged with obstruction of justice. And I’d say _that_ would definitely backfire.”

“And _you_ think about it, _Commander,_ you have no authority to tell me to do anything.”

“Perhaps he doesn’t,” Seven countered, “however _I_ do not have to answer to Starfleet. Therefore I have no qualms in ensuring that you do what we ask, by any means necessary.”

Stedvak stared at Seven with a mix of fear and surprise, as if trying to assess the likelihood of her making good of the threat, and to what lengths she would be willing to go to obtain what she wanted. His eyes flicked to her implant on her hand and she raised her eyebrows.

Let him believe the worst.

“What about the mission, I can’t just leave!” Stedvak argued, his tone growing desperate. “We’re in the middle of a military strike! At least let me complete this command!”

“How about a compromise?” Peres offered. “We can make a new recording of you making a detailed statement. Then Seven of Nine will take the Delta Flyer to deliver it safely to the appropriate hands. You can stay here with Voyager to complete the mission.”

It had been Seven’s idea to volunteer for such a trip, should the need arise. They had already discussed the feasibility of Species 8472 helping a smaller vessel travel back to the Alpha Quadrant. Though some of them were reluctant to use their valuable resources for such a trip, Peres had been able to convince them by implementing an official diplomatic protocol and proposing that some representatives of their species come as well to meet Federation diplomats.

Now Stedvak considered the suggestion. “I need to think about it,” he said eventually as he dropped back against his pillows.

“We don’t have much time,” Seven pressed, “my friend is on trial at this very moment, and your testimony could do much to help him.”

The captain gave a humorless chuckle. “All this so you can put away one criminal only to save another. How ironic.”

Seven’s anger flared, but Commander Peres put a halting hand on her arm. “Fine, just think about it for now. We’ll come back in a couple of hours,” he told Stedvak.

Seven was still attempting to control her anger as she stepped away and went to find Axum.

“Will he do it?” He asked as they stepped out into the corridor so as not to bother the patients.

“I don’t know. I’m starting to think that perhaps we should have left him in that assimilation chamber.”

Axum touched her arm sympathetically, making it very difficult for Seven not to react to the warmth it was emitting even through her sleeve. “Well, if it helps,” he started, “I _could_ hit him on the head, real hard, right here,” he touched his occipital bone. He was jesting and Seven found his good humor to be contagious. She smiled through her anger.

“And what good would that do, if he’s not conscious to speak to Starfleet?” She replied in the same tone.

“Hm, none at all I suppose, but can you imagine the satisfaction?”

Seven’s smile widened at the ridiculousness of his suggestion and his mirthful grin, and she felt laughter bubble up from inside her chest. She rarely laughed and found it to be a pleasing sensation.

His hand on her arm slid back to his side, but Seven caught it before it could retreat completely. The skin of his fingers and palm felt familiar. Seven let go of his fingers, but his eyes appeared to twinkle from her gesture. “So how about that sustenance now?” He suggested. “We can talk about the potential planet I found for our safe haven.”

“ _Our_ safe haven?” Seven repeated as she started walking, once again struck by the way he seemed to want to involve her.

He feigned a contemplative frown. “My apologies, you’re right, it was your idea, so _your_ safe haven.”

Seven smiled again. He had willfully misinterpreted her words and she arched an eyebrow. “Apology accepted,” she told him, feigning a haughty demeanor.

It was his turn to laugh. And Seven found she enjoyed making him laugh almost as much as she enjoyed the sensation herself.

ooo0ooo

The woman’s name was Camilda Loest.

Captured from a trade convoy to Bajor by Cardassian forces, she had spent two years in a labor camp on a Cardassian-controlled planet before Chakotay and the Val Jean crew had rescued her. She was a human and an engineer, not affiliated with Starfleet, and about Kathryn’s age, though something in her grey eyes gave her an older air, as if she had seen too much, or lived through more than one life. It occurred to Kathryn that this was probably exactly how it felt to her.

This was the woman on Tuvok’s list that Kathryn had contacted earlier that day, so when Samantha Wildman had alerted her to her presence, Kathryn had gone to find her just on the other side of the JIG building. Apparently Camilda had heard about the trial, and had realized that she might find Kathryn there. After short introductions, Kathryn had suggested they walk as they talked, and eventually they ended up sitting on a park bench not too far from the Quad, looking as children played in large modules or laughed in the swings.

Over the next hour, Ms. Loest told Kathryn of her experience in a Cardassian dilithium refinery – a fancy name for a labor camp where Cardassians forced criminals and prisoners of war into dangerous labor in the worst of living conditions. Camilda had skipped the gory details of her experience there, but Kathryn could read between the lines and understood the horrors she must have suffered. Camilda told Kathryn how, when she had first gotten her message that very morning, she had hesitated to respond – after all she had finally built a new life for herself, and to be asked to relive it all… But in the end Kathryn’s message had convinced her that if anything good could come out of this, she owed it to herself to speak up at last.

“I saw in the news that one of your crew was facing the JIG in court,” Camilda said, “the very same man who had rescued me and the others, over seven years ago. You see, I could never forget his face…the tattoo on his temple, or his name.” Camilda’s hand rose to touch her own temple, showing Kathryn the location of Chakotay’s tattoo, smiling fondly at the recollection. Pride in Chakotay swelled in Kathryn’s breast. How could she have ignored what a good and decent man he was, all these years? “And then I found out that Andrew Larks was prosecuting his case. It felt like a sign sent down from a higher power.”

“How so?”

“Because Andrew Larks is the reason no one heard about us, about our experiences and our rescue.”

Kathryn blinked in surprise. When she’d started looking into this matter, she couldn’t have imagined that it actually had a connection to Chakotay’s trial. Though now she could recall how quickly Larks had objected when Takayla had started the line of inquiry about the rescue.

“How?” Kathryn asked, leaning forward eagerly, still breathless from the connection, her mind reeling with scenarios.

“There weren’t that many humans in the camp, so we’d all come to know each other. And we noticed that unknown men from Earth would visit with the refinery’s managers on a regular basis. Andy’s men, people called them. At first we thought they were Starfleet diplomats negotiating for our release, but nothing ever came out of the men’s presence there. At least as far as we were concerned. One day Nella overheard them speaking. It turns out Andrew Larks’ mining company was one of the suppliers of dilithium for the refinery we were laboring at. We weren’t lawyers, but we all knew that commercial dealings with an enemy of the Federation was illegal.”

Kathryn stared at her as the pieces seem to finally fall into place in her mind. Not only had the Maquis destroyed his mine, but Larks had actually been selling dilithium to the Cardassians in what basically amounted to arms trafficking, since the Cardassians, like Starfleet, used dilithium to power their fleet. And these former prisoners had known about it!

“I don’t think Larks knew about us, not at first,” Camilda went on. “I have to believe that he would have done something about it if he’d known. But after we were rescued, one of his representatives showed up. Apparently Larks was now worried that we would talk and tell Starfleet of his involvement with the Cardassians in a time of war. So he offered us enough credits to buy both our silence and ensure a nice living on a planet of our choosing. None of us wanted to see how far Andy’s men would take their persuasion, so we accepted the deal. We were just happy to be free, and it seemed to matter but little that no one outside our immediate relatives and friends learned about us, then.” She smiled humorlessly. “Rumor has it that Larks used his assurance of our silence to strike a new deal for the Cardassians to sponsor a new mining venture. He had been in trouble with them because the Maquis had destroyed his mines, and he couldn’t fulfill their contract. And then a few years later he was appointed Justice Inquirer General. It didn’t seem right, but we kept our ends of the bargain and kept our mouths shut.”

Kathryn shook her head dazedly. “At this point I probably shouldn’t be surprised, but I am…” She shifted on the bench. It suddenly made sense though, why Larks had been so determined to see Chakotay in prison. Larks must have learned upon Voyager’s return to the Alpha Quadrant that Chakotay was on her crew (though she’d have to figure out how later), and knowing that Chakotay’s crew had been the one to rescue those people, feared that Chakotay would know the truth of his involvement with the Cardassians. That the people he had rescued would have shared their experiences with their rescuers. “If all of this is true, how could Starfleet not have learned of this when they vetted him for the position?”

Camilda shook her head. “Either they didn’t care, or they didn’t know. He was always careful not to do his dealings himself.”

And yet, B’Elanna had found documentary evidence of Larks selling dilithium to a number of parties. All they needed was a way to demonstrate that some of those transactions were actually with the Cardassians! Camilda’s testimony alone would provide substantial weight to it. They fell silent as Kathryn digested this.

“Your crewman, Chakotay? Was he sentenced to life in prison like the other surviving Maquis?”

Kathryn smiled, welcoming the rush of pleasure and relief that the question brought. “No, in fact he was just set free this afternoon.”

“That’s good. I’m glad. In my book he deserves a medal.”

“Camilda, would you be willing to testify, if I shared your story with trustworthy Starfleet officials?”

Camilda let out a long exhale, her reluctance obvious.

“I know what it would cost you. But it sounds to me like you and the others deserve so much more than to be silenced just because Larks has power and influence. Your story should be told, and your safe return should be celebrated, not hidden from public knowledge.”

After a moment, Camilda sighed. “Yes. I’ll testify.”

“Thank you.”

“Well, I need to go,” Camilda said as she rubbed her thighs and stood.

Kathryn nodded and noted Ms. Loest’s contact information before the woman walked away. After she left, Kathryn sat for a while longer, letting the final rays of sunlight caress her face as she processed everything she’d learned. The beauty in the warm colors in the sky seemed to clash with the horrors of Camilda’s story. At the same time, though, the bleakness of the tale made Kathryn appreciate the beauty of it all even more.

And for the first time, she actually took comfort in the fact that _she was home._ And more importantly, so was her crew.

~o~

After the informal interview with Camilda Loest, Kathryn didn’t return to the impromptu party in the garden outside JIG, but instead made her way directly to Starfleet Command. As much as she wanted to keep celebrating Chakotay’s release and forget about everything else, the Larks situation pressed on her mind, especially in light of Mrs. Loest’s story. Even though Kathryn believed every word Camilda had told her (what possible motive could she have to lie or make up such a story?), she knew all too well that she couldn’t legally take her testimony at face value. Because the rest of Starfleet wouldn’t pursue Larks unless they had tangible evidence, and multiple corroborating accounts. So contacting the other people rescued from the labor camp was a priority, along with updating Admiral Hayes on this new development. He had already been apprised of B’Elanna’s findings regarding Larks’ dilithium assets on the border (and the Maquis destroying them), but this new piece of evidence helped connect the dots to explain Larks’ behavior toward Chakotay. More to the point and more grievously, if Camilda Loest’s allegations of Larks’ business ties with the Cardassians during the war turned out to be true, then the admiralty would have grounds (and would be duty-bound) to launch a formal criminal investigation. This wasn’t only about Chakotay anymore, but about upholding the values of Starfleet and the Federation. Using her combadge, she contacted Hayes and asked him to meet her at HQ.

After sharing Mrs. Loest’s story with the admiral, they both agreed they should start compiling the evidence they had so far right away, in order to submit a formal request for an investigation to Starfleet Command in the briefest of delays. The task was daunting, so Kathryn decided to call in some reinforcement. Considering the sensitive nature of this file, Kathryn needed someone with knowledge of both the law and of Lark’s history. Ensign Tagashi therefore seemed an appropriate choice.

When Ensign Tagashi arrived, Kathryn thanked her again for her help before asking her what had been Larks’ mood after the trial. Did he seem to suspect anything?

Mea had shaken her head. “I don’t believe he does. I didn’t speak to him, but despite some obvious bitterness at having lost the trial, he seemed to be reverting back to his usual self.”

Kathryn had nodded. “Good. We need to keep this between us for now, if we don’t want to spook him before we present our case to Starfleet and the Deputy JIG.”

After that they updated the ensign on what they knew so far and the evidence they had to support it, and resumed working. At some point they ordered dinner and continued working over sandwiches and coffee.

When they finally decided to call it a night, Kathryn had to stretch her back and neck from spending hours bowed over documents and notes. There was still more to do, but at least they had made great progress in gathering the evidence they already had. In the morning Kathryn would meet with Hayes and Tagashi again to contact the other former prisoners of war whose names Tuvok had given her, and complete the file with their testimonies, should they share it.

When she reached her quarters, eager for the comforts of her bed, Kathryn resisted the urge to just drop herself onto the mattress fully dressed and let sleep claim her. Instead she forced herself to take a bath and do some light reading in order to unwind, and take her mind off Larks, Camilda Loest’s story, the trial, and Chakotay. It was only after she got out of the bathroom to get dressed for the night that she realized she had missed a video call originating from Takayla’s suite, and the caller had left her an audio message. She didn’t wait one second before asking the computer to play it.

Chakotay’s voice filled the silence of her quarters. “Kathryn, I hope you won’t mind me checking up on you, it seems I can’t quite let go of my First Officer habits. You just… disappeared earlier, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I hope it’s nothing too serious. Now, I know what you’re going to say, you’ll probably roll your eyes at my overprotectiveness, but I’d sleep better knowing that you’re safe. So call me when you get this, no matter the time. I don’t think I can sleep anyway.” He paused, and she heard his disbelieving chuckle. “What a day! What a seven-years! Call me when you get this.”

Kathryn smiled as she listened, deeply touched by his concern. She put on a robe over her nightgown before sitting down at her desk to return his call. It was well past 2 am, but he had told her not to mind the time. She decided to use the video option.

“Kathryn,” Chakotay greeted with relief when he saw her, his voice not much louder than a whisper. The lights were dimmed behind him, and all seemed quiet.

Kathryn raised her hand to stop his questions. “I know, I just disappeared earlier. I’m sorry about that. There was… something that required my attention.”

“Is everything okay?”

She smiled at the genuine concern on his face. “It will be. I’ll tell you about it when things are settled. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

Chakotay knew better than to press the issue. “Oh no. Actually Takayla and I were just enjoying a nightcap to give this day the sendoff it deserves.” He shifted the camera to Takayla who was sitting next to him. She waved at Kathryn, smiling, her other hand holding a tumbler.

“Good evening, Captain.”

Kathryn couldn’t help the pang of disappointment that she and Chakotay weren’t alone in this conversation, it felt like there was so much she wanted to tell him, but she quickly recovered. Let Chakotay and his sister have this moment. Besides, she was grateful that he had someone to celebrate with. “A well deserved one,” she agreed.

Chakotay moved the camera again so that it pointed at himself alone, and Kathryn heard Takayla excuse herself to go check up on her son.

“Any plans for tomorrow?” Chakotay asked, his expression purposefully light and conversational. “I was thinking we could do all those things we said we’d do if we ever made it back to San Francisco. Listen to the sea lions bark while they sunbathe on the pier. Watch the sunset from the Presidio. Catch a performance at the Solaris Center for the Arts. And that place… What’s that coffee shop you used to go to again?”

Kathryn smiled. “The Night Owl.”

“Right. So what do you think?”

There was a vulnerable kind of hope in his tone that he couldn’t quite hide. Kathryn felt it tug at her heartstrings. Oh how she wished she could just wake up tomorrow and do all these things with him! She smiled apologetically, hoping her disappointment came through honestly. “That sounds lovely, Chakotay. Unfortunately, this… thing I was working on tonight, there’s more to be done and I’m afraid it’s not something that can be delayed.”

“Oh. I see. Anything I can do to help?”

Kathryn smiled at his ability to be so selfless in spite of his obvious disappointment. “I’m afraid not. Not this time. But I’ll see you at the celebration the day after tomorrow?”

“Takayla, Nim and I will be there,” he promised.

“And tomorrow? What will you do with your first real day back on Earth?”

“Sleep in, for one,” he quipped, making Kathryn chuckle softly.

“I can’t recall the last time I slept in,” she commented wistfully.

“You should try it sometime.”

She grinned. “Maybe I will. Some day.”

He smiled “And then, I guess, I’ll spend some time with Nim and Takayla, show them the sights. Figure out what to do with the rest of my life. That kind of stuff.”

Kathryn chuckled again. “Ha! The small things…”

He shrugged before his lips quirked up into an amused smile. Oh how she loved that smile. “That’s right.”

They fell silent and Kathryn felt the beginning of a yawn tug at her jaw muscles. “Well, it’s about time I put this day to rest as well,” she mumbled through the yawn.

Chakotay nodded. “Sleep well, Kathryn.”

His deep voice and the intimate note in his tone sent a shiver down Kathryn’s spine. “You too, Chakotay.”

It occurred to her later, as she lay in bed, that nothing had been as successful at taking her mind off the day’s events than those warm eyes and teasing smile. With it in her mind’s eye, she could finally succumb to sleep.

ooooOoooo

Seven was confused.

Axum was seated across from her at the table in the mess hall, elatedly sampling all of the numerous dishes that Seven had ordered from the replicator. Hence the confusion: she actually found great enjoyment in watching him eat. This activity was a banal function of the human body, necessary to organic life, nothing more. Yet, she found hidden delight in the gratified sounds that various food items kindled in Axum, or the way he would close his eyes in pure bliss at a particularly flavorful item.

She was pondering this strange phenomenon, unable to keep herself from smiling even as she took a spoonful of a cacao-based dessert, when Commander Peres suddenly appeared next to their table. She had been so engrossed in watching Axum that she had missed his arrival into the mess hall.

Axum wiped his lips on his napkin, and Seven followed his gaze up to the commander’s amused expression.

“Sorry to interrupt your… meal,” he said, the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips at the dozens of plates Seven had laid out in a grid pattern for more efficient tasting. “I wanted to let you know in person. I just spoke with Captain Stedvak, and he’s agreed to record a statement about his father’s misconduct and bribery to Starfleet. The Doctor is making the recording now. Are you still willing to travel to Earth to deliver it?”

“Yes. Then I will start making my preparations for my journey back to Earth immediately,” Seven said as she straightened. “And we also must ensure that the diplomatic representatives of Species 8472 are ready to depart as soon as our transportation is organized.”

Peres’ eyes flicked to Axum before he returned his gaze to Seven. “Of course, but… You know what? A couple of hours won’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things. Finish your meal,” he ordered with a half-smile and a quick glance at Axum.

Seven frowned as he retreated. Wasn’t this mission of some urgency? She returned her attention to the plates and Axum, who was now toying with his fork distractedly. The silence between them suddenly seemed heavy, and Seven was at a loss as to how to remedy it.

“Will you return?” Axum asked eventually. Seven’s gaze snapped to his.

“Of course. I do not intend to linger on Earth,” Seven clarified. “In fact I fully intend to be back on Voyager before the mission here is over. Now that we have the transwarp coils, at the most I would be gone for two or three days.”

The smile that curved his lips looked forced, and Seven frowned again. What did he expect from her? As much as she wished she could stay here with him, there were few people they could trust, or spare, to make sure that Stedvak’s testimony was delivered safely to Janeway. She couldn’t gamble with Chakotay’s freedom, even if their relationship no longer extended beyond friendship. No doubt the Doctor would have happily done it, but he was needed here, to help with the drones that filled the ship’s sickbay. And Commander Peres was currently acting captain while Stedvak was recuperating from the assimilation attempt. Seven, on the other hand, was… nonessential. Especially now that she had fulfilled her part, and had made contact with Species 8472 and the Resistance. Commander Peres could take over in her absence.

“You understand why I have to go?” Seven asked, trying to understand Axum’s reaction.

He leaned back against his chair with a sigh, throwing his napkin on the table dejectedly. “I do. Of course I do.”

“Then why-”

“Because- because I was hoping we’d have more time. We were just reunited, Annika - against all odds, _we were just reunited_! I was hoping to have more time,” he repeated, his eyes suddenly intense and earnest as he leaned closer over the table.

Seven sighed and on an impulse reached out to touch his hand. He turned his palm so he could interlace their fingers.

“Then, perhaps… You should come with us,” she suggested. “Delegating your duties here for a few days should not be an issue, especially as the fleet needs to deal with the drones we have rescued before moving on.”

He studied her for a long moment, and Seven wondered why he seemed to be hesitating. Wasn’t his complaint that her going away would keep them from spending time together? Eventually he shifted in his seat and leaned closer over the table, his thumb drawing gentle patterns on the back of her hand. It was distracting, yet Seven didn’t want him to stop.

“Is your offer genuine?” He asked, his gaze locked on hers, as if he meant to read the answer in her eyes.

It seemed important to him that she spoke the truth, so she nodded. “Yes.”

A slow pleased smile brightened his face as he leaned back again, though without letting go of her hand. “Then I look forward to seeing this Earth I keep hearing so much about.”

Seven let a grin tug at her lips, though she couldn’t ignore the way her heart had seemed to somersault in her chest. “Don’t be so eager. It’s my understanding that there will be some kind of official ceremony to honor Voyager and her crew while we’re there – you may very well regret your decision then.”

He feigned a cringe. “Well, that does sound terribly daunting, but…I’m willing to brave the dullest speeches and the most outrageous pomp, to be by your side,” he added jestingly, his eyes dancing with humor.

“How valiant of you,” she drawled before she returned her attention to the plates in front of them. “Now, on to the next dish. Tom Paris calls this one ‘one of the cornerstones of 20th-century America.’”

“What is it?” Axum asked as he stared at the plate, a little confounded.

“It’s called a ‘hot dog.’ Though he’s assured me that dog meat is not an ingredient.”

“How peculiar,” Axum commented as he stared at the plate for a moment longer. Then he shrugged, gave her a lopsided grin, and took a bite.

oooOooo

 

END PART II


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s notes: Well, we’re in the homestretch now. If you’ve read my other stories, you know that I like to take the time to allow the characters to come full circle, and not just rush to the ending. So I hope you’ll indulge me some of the more superfluous parts in the following chapters. Not all of them are necessary to the plot, but after all this angst, a little fluff and romance are in order, and I make no apology for it! ;-) After all, this is still a “homecoming” kind of story! Hope you enjoy!

PART III: HOMECOMINGS

 

Chapter 18

Kathryn hurried through the Starfleet Command quadrangle, just short of breaking into a jog. The ceremony was scheduled to start in a few minutes, and she was very close to running late. Luckily, she thought wryly, as the captain of Voyager it was unlikely that Starfleet Command would start the ceremony meant to honor her ship and crew without her.

She had spent the last couple of days working on the Larks file with Hayes and Tagashi, until a few hours ago, when they had deemed it complete enough to submit to Starfleet on the following day. They had been able to add the corroborating stories of most of the other people Chakotay had rescued, and had even found additional transaction records pertaining to the mines. After they’d called it a day, Kathryn had rushed to her quarters to get ready for the official celebration.

Earlier that morning she had also told Hayes of her decision regarding the promotion to admiral: _that she respectfully declined_.

It had been tempting to accept. More tempting than she would have expected. However, she wasn’t ready to give up exploration yet. And she wasn’t ready to give up Voyager. Now that her decision was made, she couldn’t wait to hear back from Seven and make sure that Stedvak hadn’t blown Voyager to bits in some half-assed maneuver. Because she wanted her ship back. And she wanted her crew back.

It would be strange without Chakotay, there was no denying that. However, in her heart of hearts, she held on to the hope that maybe, by some miracle, he still felt something for her. That her realization hadn’t come too late. That maybe, she had been part of the reason his relationship with Seven had been ‘doomed to fail.’ And if that were the case, then she would be content with the knowledge that, even though his absence left a vacuum on the bridge, she would still benefit from his companionship when she came back home. In the best of ways.

When the Starfleet building serving as the venue for tonight’s celebration came into view at last, Kathryn slowed her pace and straightened her uniform and her hair. She smiled when she raised her head and saw a familiar figure standing by the door, waiting.

Her heart leapt in her chest at the sight of Chakotay. He was standing with his hands in his pockets, looking quite dapper in a deep blue shirt she had never seen before, and black slacks. A dark jacket was slung over his arm through the loop his arm created with his hand in his pocket. He looked around in search of something. Or more likely someone. She knew, somehow, that he was waiting for _her._

Something powerful swelled in her breast, pulling her toward him, filling her with need to be near him. The force of her attraction surprised her. It was as if now that she had admitted to herself the depth of her feelings for him, they refused to be ignored or pushed away. And now there was no denying the simple truth that she wanted him. Not just physically, but all of him – the thoughtful attentions, the sense of humor, the curiosity, the history, the laughter and the dreams. And she wanted to dark things too, to make them better, to soothe them away – the nightmares, the fears, the things he still repented for. She wanted it all. And she wanted them to create new memories together.

He smiled in relief when he spotted her, oblivious to her thoughts or the rush of her emotions. “I was starting to worry,” he told her, grinning, as he walked the few steps to meet with her halfway. “I figured maybe you’d been abducted or something.”

Kathryn raised an amused eyebrow, delighted that they could revert to their usual banter so comfortably. “Abducted?” She stopped just short of colliding with him and looked up to meet his gaze, grinning into his eyes.

His grin didn’t falter as he looked down at her, but his hands rose up to rest on his hips. He nodded playfully. “I hadn’t quite gotten to the how or why, yet, but I figured only something really important would be keeping you from showing up tonight. Or make you late.”

She smiled as she shifted to slip her arm though his, enjoying the softness of his shirt and the strength and warmth of his arm underneath. “You’re right, of course. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”

“Well, shall we?”

She nodded, and together they walked in to take their seats in the front row. The rest of the crew was already there, most of them sitting and talking animatedly amongst themselves or with members of their families. Kathryn smiled in surprise when her eyes fell on Tuvok. His wife was sitting next to him, and Kathryn acknowledged them both with a nod and a smile. Tuvok hadn’t told her he would be returning for this, and she was immensely glad to find him here, especially since traveling to Earth for this occasion wasn’t entirely _logical_. Her dear Vulcan friend was slipping…!

“I don’t see Seven, or the others who have gone with her to the Beta Quadrant,” she commented to Chakotay, with a slight pang of disappointment. Each and every one of her crew had made a difference, and she was sorry that some of them would miss a chance to get the public recognition they deserved. Her thoughts went to Neelix, who had been much more than a cook; he’d been their ambassador, the morale officer, and more importantly, their friend. She missed him dearly. Nevertheless, there was plenty to rejoice for here: Samantha Wildman reunited with her husband, and Naomi with her father; Harry sitting next to an older couple she assumed were his parents; B’Elanna, Tom and Miral; Takayla and Nimkotay sitting together a few rows behind them.

“You knew Seven might choose not to come back for this,” Chakotay reminded her, his voice no louder than a whisper as he leaned his head toward hers. The scent of him – of his clothes, of his shaving lotion, of his breath – the scent she had come to associate with Voyager’s bridge, filled her nostrils. She resisted the urge to breathe him in.

“I know,” she managed to reply, “but I was still hoping she’d recognize that she’s an integral part of the crew, and as such, that her presence here would be appreciated. The same goes for the Doctor, and the others.”

Chakotay nodded and with a quick intake of air, reached out to squeeze her fingers. Kathryn’s eyes snapped to his – he had rarely dared to do something like this (as innocent as it was), especially in the recent years. Kathryn suddenly had to swallow against the dryness of her mouth.

She was distracted from Chakotay’s warm eyes and touch when Admiral Paris climbed onto the stage, and approached the podium. Just when he was about to call the audience to attention, the doors in the back of the room hissed opened, and the sound was followed by quick footfalls down the aisle. Frowning at the commotion and the whispers coursing through the crowd, Kathryn shifted in her seat to better see what was going on.

She grinned when she saw Seven hurrying down the central aisle, a tall handsome (and nonhuman) man on her heels. Kathryn had met him before. Axum. And behind them, three of those of her crew who had joined Seven instead of taking the leave.

Kathryn beamed at this surprise.

Seven found Kathryn’s gaze and gave a nod as she and her travel companions took their seats across the aisle. And then Seven noticed Chakotay sitting next to her and her eyebrows rose in relieved surprise. In all the commotion of the last few days, Kathryn realized she had forgotten to let her know the trial’s final outcome.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Admiral Paris started, “without further ado, please join me in welcoming home the indomitable crew of the Starship USS Voyager.”

The crowd erupted in applause.

oooOooo

Seven had to admit, the ceremony wasn’t as tedious as she had anticipated.

In fact, she couldn’t hide her pride in Harry Kim, B’Elanna Torres and several others, as they were called to the stage and Captain Janeway pinned new pips on their respective collars. Or when the captain gave a speech about how the challenges and struggles that they had faced in the Delta Quadrant had not only brought the crew closer together, but also demonstrated their resourcefulness, their perseverance, and ultimately (she added in jest), their patience in their captain. She thanked them for their support and their trust. She spoke with emotion of the people they had lost, and of the new friends they had made, glancing at Seven and Axum briefly. And when she finished her speech by stating how proud she was of them all, and of knowing each and every one of them, Seven had been more touched than she cared to admit. The captain had always been an engaging orator, and Seven admired her ability to take her audience from mirth to deep emotion with only a few words.

Seven was also exceedingly relieved to find Chakotay among them. Presumably, if he were here tonight, then it followed that he was a free man. He wasn’t wearing the Starfleet uniform, she noticed, and she wondered just what had happened at his trial.

All through the speeches and promotions, the evidence Seven carried in her satchel – that small piece of technology that contained Captain Stedvak’s statement about his father’s corruption – seemed to weigh heavily where it rested in her lap. She had gone to great lengths to ensure that it fell into safe hands – Janeway’s, as it were – and she was impatient to get it to her. Even though Chakotay clearly no longer needed the assistance, Seven had to assume that the knowledge she carried remained important, at least to Starfleet. A part of her, the part that was aware Starfleet didn’t fully trust her yet, was glad for the opportunity to show her allegiance. Or at the very least, show that her former Borg nature was not a threat to them. It was surprising to her to realize that she cared.

After Peres had told her that Stedvak had agreed to make a statement, Seven had quickly convened a meeting with This One and others of his kind – the representatives who would accompany them to the Alpha Quadrant for the diplomatic sessions – to organize the journey. Even though Species 8472 offered to bring the Delta Flyer back to the Alpha Quadrant the way they had brought Voyager and Aspire to the Beta Quadrant, Seven and Peres decided instead to use the transwarp coils that had been recovered from the incapacitated Cube. Knowing that Starfleet engineers were eager to get their hands on them (drooling, was Peres’ metaphor – or at least Seven hoped it was a metaphor), the commander had decided to send two of the coils along with the Flyer: one to allow the Flyer to return to the Beta Quadrant after they were done on Earth, and the other to hand over to the drooling engineers.

Pleased that this path would save them the energy and materials they would otherwise spend on opening singularities, the Species 8472 representatives had agreed to follow the Delta Flyer into the transwarp conduits. However their paths would diverge once in the Alpha Quadrant. While the Federation was eager to open diplomatic relations with Species 8472, Seven sensed that they feared them even more. So the diplomatic meetings were to be held on a Federation deep space station not too far from the border with the Beta Quadrant.

The journey had taken several hours to organize, and to ensure that the transwarp coils were functional. And then it had taken several additional hours to travel through the transwarp conduits all the way to the Alpha Quadrant.

Three additional crewmembers from the initial Voyager crew had decided to join Seven and Axum in order to attend the festivities, so the Delta Flyer had little room for intimate conversations. However over the duration of the journey Seven and Axum did manage to get some opportunities for limited privacy and to get reacquainted outside the shadow of the Borg, usually when the rest of the crew went to the back to rest, leaving the two of them at the consoles. They both talked a great deal, and her own loquaciousness had surprised Seven, since she had never been one to ‘chat,’ as Neelix would say. However there was something about Axum, about the way he talked freely of his feelings and his fears and his joys, that was liberating. In Axum there was none of the restraint she sometimes felt in humans, nor was there in him any of the useless concern about what others might think. Therefore Seven found herself opening up to him in ways she had only occasionally done with people from Voyager. They talked about their respective experiences with the Borg, escaping the Collective, about what they had been up to since Unimatrix 0. Seven told him about Voyager, its crew, the friends she had made, the struggles she had faced. She even told him about Chakotay, and her conviction that though she had felt affection for him, they had been ill-suited in the long term. That deep down, her heart had already been taken (to use an Earth metaphor – in fact she’d had to explain to him how some humans believed love resided in the heart instead of chemicals in the brain). She told him about Chakotay’s struggles (since at the time she had been unaware of the outcomes of the trial) and why delivering Stedvak’s statement mattered so much to her.

As a consequence of this time spent together and the renewed assurance of their compatibility – in their convictions, their hopes, their ambitions – it now felt entirely natural to Seven to have Axum sit next to her at this ceremony, or have him speak companionably with the rest of the crew when they were all invited for a buffet and cocktail once the ceremony was over. He was far more talkative and at ease with strangers than Seven could ever be, so at some point she had to give him a pointed look to get him to follow her to the small group of people standing in Captain Janeway’s company. Chakotay was standing a short distance away, talking with (the newly promoted) Lieutenant Commander Torres, Lieutenant Paris, Icheb and a dark-haired woman who had her hand resting on the shoulder of an equally dark-haired boy. Chakotay smiled and raised his hand in greeting when he felt her looking at him. Seven replied in kind. Icheb also smiled at her from the distance, and Seven found herself impatient to learn of his progress at the Academy.

“Seven!” Captain Janeway said when she saw her and made her way to greet her. “I’m so glad you made it! Mr. Axum, what a privilege to see you again, under less harrowing circumstances this time.”

“Believe me Captain, the privilege is all mine,” Axum replied gallantly with a slight bow of his head.

“Now, I want to hear all about your mission,” the captain went on eagerly as she gestured for them to step a little away from the main crowd to a quieter corner. “How did it go? How is it going with Species 8472? I’m assuming it went well, since you were able to return so quickly? And why isn’t the Doctor here with you?”

“It went well. The relationship is developing satisfactorily. The Doctor sends his regrets, but he asked me to tell you that he _couldn’t possibly abandon his duties for a party_.” At the captain’s bemused frown, Seven exchanged a look with Axum, who merely nodded encouragingly. “There are many things to tell you Captain, but before I give you a full report… I didn’t merely return to attend this… ceremony. I’ve come bearing a more urgent message. It concerns Admiral Larks.”

Janeway blinked, her surprise making her recoil slightly. “Admiral Larks! There is no escaping that man!” She declared exasperatingly, and Seven understood she meant metaphorically. Captain Janeway sighed, pursing her lips unhappily, bracing herself. Given the sensitivity of this issue, she gestured for them to go outside so as not to be overheard. Axum opted to stay behind and keep sampling the buffet items. “Excuse me,” Seven heard him ask a waiter as she and Janeway retreated outside, “do you know where I could find _hot dogs_?”

“Alright, let’s have it,” Janeway said, crossing her arms, when they were standing beneath the night sky, high above the ground, on the large balcony that extended from the ballroom. The air was cool, but not uncomfortably so.

Over the next several minutes, Seven summarized the contents of Stedvak’s allegations against his stepfather. She then told her how she had hoped to bring this evidence as soon as possible so as to help Chakotay’s case, not realizing that he had already been discharged. By the end of Seven’s tale, Janeway’s frown had deepened and she let out another sigh, this one a mix of annoyance and weariness.

“I won’t bore you with the details,” Janeway explained as her hand fisted over the small drive containing Stedvak’s holorecording, “but it turns out this is not the only allegation against the man I’ve heard over the last few days. This answers some of the questions we had, in particular how Larks seemed to know so much about Voyager, and how he was able to get his way with the admiralty. Thank you for bringing this, Seven.”

“Of course.”

After this, Seven took some time to report on their mission to the Beta Quadrant, how they had made contact with Axum’s Resistance, and their overwhelming success in rendering the drones ineffective. She told her about how Captain Stedvak had barely escaped from assimilation, and how the Doctor had his holographic hands full trying to save all of the drones. She told her about her imminent return to the Beta Quadrant, and though Janeway looked eager to go with her this time, to take over her ship from the incompetent hands of Stedvak, something more than her leave seemed to hold her back. So Seven assured her that while Stedvak wasn’t particularly competent, Commander Peres, on the other hand, had things well in hand. Though he had a rather puerile sense of humor, he was agreeable to work with and had proven himself a competent commanding officer.

“And Axum?” The captain asked with a sly raise of the eyebrow.

Seven felt herself flush. “Well,” she cleared her throat. “The last few days have confirmed what I told you once. He has always been more than a friend. There is something about him…” She frowned as she struggled with her own confusion. “I can hardly put it into words.”

“I hate to break it to you, Seven, but that sounds a lot like love.” The captain smiled at Seven’s expression. “I hope that doesn’t mean you intend to stay in the Beta Quadrant?”

Seven frowned. She hadn’t planned this far ahead. “I’m unsure. I… I would need time to consider before making such a decision.”

“Well,” the captain said as she touched her arm, “I’m happy for you, of course, but… You would be sorely missed. I know I speak for more than myself when I say we would be sorry to see you go.”

“Thank you Captain. But with the new transwarp coils at Starfleet’s disposition, the Beta Quadrant doesn’t appear as far as it once did.”

“Even so. Voyager wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Seven let out a small smile. “As it hasn’t been without you, Captain.”

Seven then announced her intention to return to the celebration to check up on Icheb and congratulate Chakotay and the newly promoted officers. Captain Janeway, for her part, sighed and reluctantly announced her intention to find Admiral Hayes to apprise him of the new evidence. “Alright, let’s just be done with it!” She exclaimed as she stepped away, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

oooOooo

Chakotay leaned his forearms on the balustrade as he stared out into the night. The music from the ballroom was muffled out here, and if he focused he could actually hear the wind ruffling tree leaves far below. He welcomed the solitude of the balcony, as it gave him a quiet place to think while still enjoying the effervescence of the party. It had been a long time coming, after all.

Kathryn had disappeared on him again.

For a while he had enjoyed watching her work the room; laughing with a high-ranking officer here, shaking a cadet’s hand there… The flush in her cheeks and the twinkle in her eyes making him smile, because it revealed how much she loved this kind of thing. The protocol. The pomp. The small talk. And of course, the well-deserved recognition of her achievements.

Then he saw her approach Seven, and when he looked again moments later, she had disappeared. Again. Just like she had the day of his release.

Which was why he was out here, thinking. He wasn’t brooding or anything like that. But he did wonder about her behavior, because with everything that had happened recently, he wasn’t sure where he stood with her anymore. At least, as painful as it had been sometimes, when she’d been his captain there had been no confusion. But now…

On the one hand, she seemed to take pleasure in his company, and not just as a friend or colleague. When they had reunited earlier, and when he’d taken her hand, he could have sworn that he’d seen his hopes and passion reflected in her eyes. And the truth of his sister’s words, about Kathryn going to the ends of the galaxy to help him, about her actions _meaning_ something, continued to echo in his mind. She had put her life on hold for him, she had traveled to his home planet to bring back Takayla, she had allowed another captain to take her ship, to take _Voyager._ All this so she could stand by him.

And yet…wouldn’t she have gone to the same lengths to help _any_ member of her crew? Her loyalty and dedication to her crew was something he had always loved about her, and he wholeheartedly believed she had it in her to do for the others what she had done for him. Add to that how she had brushed him off when he had suggested they spend the day together... Oh he believed her when she said some important matter had kept her away – he had seen the anxious frown on her face when Sam Wildman had come to get her that day in the garden – and yet, he couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she was trying to let him down easy. Of course-

“If you’re out here to avoid dancing, you’re busted, mister!”

It was as if his mind had conjured her into existence. Despite the turmoil of his thoughts, he couldn’t help but smile as he turned his head to watch Kathryn make her way to him. She was grinning, exhilarated as if some heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders since he’d last laid eyes on her, and Chakotay marveled at the way it lit up her expression, even with her face backlit.

“I’ve promised your many fans out there that I would bring you back,” she added as she reached his spot and imitated his position, leaning her arms on the handrail. Chakotay watched her as her gaze wandered to the night sky and out to the dark mass of the Bay in the distance. She leaned her chin in her hand. Her smile was happy and content, as light as he’d ever seen her. A remarkable change from the last few weeks. He vowed to himself that from now on, he would try to bring out that smile as often as he possibly could.

He cleared his throat. “As a matter of fact, I hate to brag, but it so happens that I’m a decent dancer,” Chakotay replied, keeping his tone playful. “Takayla can confirm as to the veracity of my statement.” At her arch look he chuckled. “Our parents insisted dance lessons would teach us to respect others and how to compromise. I’m not sure the compromising part worked in my case, but I guess it was worth a try.”

“Well!” Kathryn exclaimed as she stared at him, blinking, as if seeing him for the first time. “How did I not know this about you? To think, you could have demonstrated your skills during one of Neelix’s talent nights!”

He gave her a sly glance. “And _that_ is exactly why I made sure you never found out.”

She laughed. “Keeping secrets from your captain, huh?”

“Oh I’m sure there’s lots of things we don’t know about each other.” It sounded much more serious out loud than it had in his head. He shifted to face her, and extended his hand in an invitation, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

Kathryn looked startled, her eyes widening and her lips parting ever so slightly, but she took his hand, slowly, her eyes locked with his. Chakotay savored the feel and the weight of her hand in his as he tugged her closer, resting his other hand lightly on her waist. The mere sensation of her waist under his palm sent a thrill through him – he could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times they’d shared that kind of contact over the years. They started to sway to the rhythm of the music from the ballroom and – much to his surprise – she let him lead. Knowing how even that small thing must go against her natural desire and ability to command, Chakotay smiled to himself.

“Well,” she replied to his comment at last, sounding a little breathless despite the lightheartedness of her tone. “I, for one, enjoy a good mystery.”

He chuckled. “Oh is that what I am, then? A mystery?”

“Mmm,” she agreed. “Case in point: what could you have possibly been doing out here by yourself?”

“Enjoying the fresh air and the moonlight on the clouds. I never realized how accustomed I was to having stars outside my window until I was stuck in a windowless cell.” She tensed, so he hurried to continue. “But, on the bright side, if this,” he emphasized with a gesture toward their joined hands, “is to be my punishment for facing the Federation, I figure I could do much, much worse.”

Kathryn shook her head, and when she spoke her voice had lost most of its playful undertones. “Nice try, but I’m not buying it. I know you, Chakotay. True, at first I was inclined to think that Judge Harris’ sentence was nothing, given the alternative. But now I realize she knew exactly what she was doing. She knew a dishonorable discharge would be just as harsh as imprisonment for an honorable man like you. She’s pinned you down perfectly. Don’t deny it. I’ve seen how painful this has been for you.”

Chakotay gave a rueful smile that she couldn’t see. “And here I thought I was a man of mystery.”

“Have you decided what you’ll do?”

He let out a long sigh. “I don’t know yet. For now, I’ve decided to go home with Takayla.”

There was a short, stunned pause and her step faltered. Luckily his hold on her was solid – light, but solid. “For how long?”

“I don’t know. It depends.”

“I see.”

But she didn’t see. She couldn’t see, not unless he explained what he truly meant: that it all depended on _her._ That she alone would keep him here – it only took one word. That he had loved her for as long as he could remember, even when there was no hope of her ever returning his feelings. That he wanted to grow old and grey by her side, that even if he searched millions of galaxies like this one, he would find no one who could take hold of his heart like she had. He would find none to whom he would give it as willingly, or as completely.

But he suddenly found himself uncharacteristically tongue-tied. Because even though a part of him had been sick and tired of the status quo between them, another part would rather be part of her life as her friend than screw it all up by asking more of her. By asking something she couldn’t give. The thought of losing her, of risking their friendship, scared the hell out of him. It always had.

While he was trying to just take the leap, she spoke, her breath tickling his neck. “I take it from the plus-one Seven brought with her from the Beta Quadrant that you and she…”

Chakotay shook his head, his hold on her fingers tightening slightly, happy to reassure her in that at least. “You must know it’s been over for a while now.”

“How do you feel about that?” Her voice was low, raw.

He twirled her to the rhythm of the music as he considered her question. When she returned in his arms he inhaled, in so doing taking in the intoxicating scent of her hair, of her skin, heightened by the moisture rising from the Bay. His hand on her back slid further around her, bringing her a little closer against him. “Fine, actually. Relieved. Happy for her.”

She shook her head. “You’re more generous than I would be in your place. To think that she just left when you needed…when you needed your friends the most.”

Chakotay shook his head. “I don’t think my feelings were as strong as you imagine.”

“Is that why it was doomed to fail? I remember you saying that…”

He nodded, remembering the conversation all too clearly. “Yes. That, and…”

“And...?”

“Let’s just say, I don’t think either of our hearts were ours to give,” he replied cryptically, still working on gathering the courage to be blunter. To lay it all out. “I think for her I might have been a kind of experiment,” he added. She pulled away far enough to see his expression. “I’m not bitter about it,” he reassured her, “quite the contrary. This whole thing, with Seven, but also with the trial, made me face up to a lot of shameful things.”

She shook her head sympathetically. “Nobody is perfect, Chakotay. We all make mistakes, and when we’re put in a command situation, it’s our job to take the fall, or the credit, if we’re lucky. _You_ know I’ve certainly made my fair share of mistakes.”

His gaze was earnest and searching as he listened to her words. “Still. This whole thing made me take a good look at my own life. I didn’t like what I saw.”

“What did you see?” She whispered curiously, her eyes still searching his face.

“A man who had grown complacent when he should have fought for what he wanted. A man who, in a fit of loneliness and rancor, convinced himself that he could find happiness and peace away from the one source who had, somehow, unwittingly, already given it all to him. I saw a man who had fooled not only himself, but those whose needs he had vowed would always come first.”

Her expression shifted into a mix of wistful regret and hope as she heard his words and understood his reference.

"I lied."

Chakotay blinked at the unexpected segue. "What are you talking about?"

"On Voyager, when you asked me why I was upset to learn about you and Seven. I lied."

Chakotay sighed, he’d almost forgotten about that conversation – the mother of all awkward conversations.

"I _was_ upset,” she went on, “but it wasn't from any concern for the crew. I was upset, because…"

Chakotay held his breath, his heart suddenly beating madly against his ribcage.

"Because, I realized that you'd… given up."

He frowned, confused. "Given up? Given up on what?" Surely she hadn’t believed he’d given up hope of them ever returning to the Alpha Quadrant? Because he never-

"On _this_. On us."

Chakotay blinked, stunned. Without realizing he stopped swaying. He couldn’t stop an incredulous huff from passing his lips. " _I_ had _given up_? How- Kathryn, you've always made it clear, you with your parameters, that you couldn't be with someone under your command! As far as I knew there was nothing to give up on! Trust me, if I’d had the slightest idea, or the slightest hope that you would reciprocate my feelings for you, I would have never- I would have waited for you, for as long as it took!" The words came out in a tumble, as if all of his old frustrations were pouring out of him. It was far less eloquent or romantic than the words he had been building up the courage to say, but they were just as honest.

She shook her head dejectedly. "Chakotay-"

"I'm not saying I ever expected you to go against Starfleet protocols or put your personal happiness above your duties as a captain but, still, how the hell was I supposed to know that-"

"I was scared."

That took the wind out of his sails. He exhaled, staring at her as if it would help him understand. ‘Captain Kathryn Janeway’ and ‘scared’ were words that rarely went together in the same sentence, at least to outside observers. And yet, here she was, admitting to it. "Scared of what?"

She gave a small shrug. "Of appearing weak. Of losing the crew's respect. Of losing myself. Of losing you."

Chakotay searched her eyes, appreciating what she was saying, but also the fact that she was opening up to him at last, and how much this must be costing her to let him see her this vulnerable.

“And now?” He asked gently, even though his heart was beating madly in his chest.

“Now…” she repeated breathlessly before straightening and meeting his eyes. “Now I’m done being afraid. Chakotay…”

He wasn’t sure what she was pleading him to do – and he didn’t think she knew either. She was so close, Chakotay couldn’t resist glancing down at her mouth, wondering how her lips would feel against his, against his skin. But he was still uncertain as to whether or not she would welcome it – because he couldn’t make the mistake of assuming he understood what she meant in case he assumed wrong. This was too important. She was too important. So instead he took advantage of her distraction and, in sync with the music, he nudged her away from his body, unraveling their arms as she spun until their arms stretched to their maximum, held together by their joined hands in the middle. Her surprised chuckle of delight made him grin before he pulled her back to him. And when she returned to her initial position, he leaned forward to dip her. Her surprised yelp and following bark of laughter rippled through her even as she tightened her grip on his shoulders.

As pleased as he was for making her laugh, this silly move had a consequence that Chakotay had neglected to anticipate, though: he suddenly found himself staring at the pale extent of her neck, so enticingly inviting while she let her head fall back. Trusting that he wouldn’t drop her. Suddenly he realized how closely together this position had brought them; her breasts pressed against his chest, one of her legs instinctively hooked around his. His lips and his nose were a hair away from her neck and his shallow breath against her skin turned it to gooseflesh. It would only take a small dip of his head for them to make contact. To leave a hot trail of kisses from her jaw to the hollow of her neck, where her uniform collar would stop his advance. The urge to bridge the small gap was almost overwhelming.

As if sensing the change in him, the charge in the air, the sudden heaving of his chest against hers, her laughter abated. “Chakotay.” It was a faint whisper, a raspy wisp of air crossing her lips in something between a plea and a warning. He couldn’t quite tell which.

And because he couldn’t tell which, Chakotay recovered himself just long enough to slowly straighten them both back up. He kept her close against him, both of his arms around her, hands splayed flat against her back. He could feel the sudden mad rhythm of her heartbeat beneath his palms, an echo of his, and her hot breath against his neck. While he was still dragging his eyes back up from her neck to her face, his breath shallow, her fingers traveled from his shoulder to the short hair at his nape.

He was about to tear himself away from her when she shifted ever so slightly. Just enough. Her hand put a gentle pressure on his nape to turn his face toward hers, and suddenly her parted lips pressed against his. Surprised and elated in equal measure, he breathed her in for a moment, marveling at the contact, the warmth, the sweetness, the restrained passion in the shallowness of her own breathing, and the electrifying contact where their tongues barely touched. Kathryn was _kissing_ him _._ And then he moved, raising one of his hands to cup her cheek as he shifted the angle of his face. His lips moved against hers, slowly, purposefully, eliciting a moan from deep within her. Her taste was even sweeter, even more intoxicating than he could have ever imagined. He wanted more, he needed more. He kissed her again, this time taking advantage of her parted lips to deepen the kiss. He shivered as her nails gently grazed the back of his skull on their way to his jaw. Once her hand settled on his cheek, her fingers grazing, caressing, they both pulled away, breathless. Chakotay continued to hold her close to him, reluctant to let her go. Their eyes met in a mix of wonder and desire.

She smiled, her eyes sparkling, as her gaze traveled over his face, as if trying to commit his features to memory. When her eyes returned to his, he leaned his head to touch hers, greedy with the need to have her close, to maintain this intimate bubble around them, their breaths mingling in the small space between them.

“Stay.”

“Come with me, Kathryn.”

They had both spoken together, and they chuckled a little dazedly, their chests still heaving.

“Go with you?” She asked, her voice wonderfully husky, rich with desire. _He_ had done that, he realized with no small amount of wonder. And pride. “To your home planet?”

Grinning, he pulled back slightly, letting some of the light from the ballroom illuminate her face. “Why not? Not forever, just for a few days, while you’re still on leave. We could take some time for ourselves. A well-deserved vacation. And hey, it would be a great opportunity to go on that camping trip we had to cancel a few years ago,” he added injecting playfulness back into his tone. “There are green mountains thick with mist. Rumbling waterfalls. Beautiful sandy beaches. It would be fun.”

There was a lot he wasn’t saying, but he desperately hoped she understood how much this would mean to him, how much he needed her to say yes.

She arched an eyebrow. “Don’t take me wrong Chakotay, you’ve always had an unnatural ability to make camping sound appealing,” she drawled, echoing conversations they’d had years ago. In another life, it seemed. “But I was on your home planet just a couple of weeks ago. There was _snow_ on the ground.”

Chakotay resisted the urge to say something about sharing body heat and instead leaned a little further back, realizing the tension between them was slowly reverting to the kind of magnetism that had always bound them together. “That’s because my hometown is located much higher on a plateau, several hundred meters above sea levels. The foothills and the coasts are much warmer. And beautiful this time of year.”

She seemed to hesitate, and it gave Chakotay pause. Maybe he was going too fast. Maybe he’d gotten carried away from the passion in her kiss. Just _that_ was a big step for them, no matter how natural and _right_ it had felt. So, to give her an exit if she needed one, he retreated a little more. “I understand if this is too much too fast. And it’s okay. I was planning on coming back to Earth in a couple of weeks anyway, so we can-”

“Oh no,” she interrupted, her expression back to its more typical mischief as she slowly moved closer again, snaking her arm around his shoulders to bring him closer. Chakotay’s smile returned at her playful demeanor. “You’re not backing out of this. I just got hung up back at ‘vacation.’ That sounds truly wonderful. Even if it’s out in the woods camping without a bathtub.” On the last words she kissed the corner of his mouth softly and Chakotay grinned, his doubts fading a little more with every playful touch of her lips grazing his cheek. Spirits help him, she truly wanted this! He could hardly believe that it was real. And yet, here she was, pressed against him, her mouth a breath away from his, and with no apparent intention of letting go.

“Oh I’m sure a bathtub could be arranged,” he replied in the same tone. “I built one once, you know. And they say the first one’s always the hardest.”

“You’re making it sound better by the minute,” she drawled as her mouth hovered and slid to kiss him fully. He was just getting into this playful, teasing kiss when she suddenly pulled back again.

“Oh no.”

“What?”

“I can’t leave just yet.”

“Why the hell not?”

“It’s about-” she stopped herself. “It’s about that thing I’ve been so busy taking care of lately. Something big will happen over the next few days, I think, and I’d like to see this through.”

“Oh. I see.” Disappointed in spite of his best intentions, Chakotay took a step back at that, disentangling himself from her at last, and leaning back against the railing. “Can’t you throw me a bone? At least tell me why you can’t tell me about it?”

Chakotay could see the hesitation dance across her face. Her eyes darted to the ballroom briefly before returning to his face.

“Alright. But not here. Let’s find somewhere quiet, away from those uniforms.”

Intrigued, Chakotay followed her back into the brightness of the ballroom. As Kathryn led him toward the exit, he couldn’t help but grin as he watched her wave, nod and shake hands on the way – a perfect little Starfleet social butterfly. It was still incredible to him that Kathryn didn’t seem to care at all that he had lost the uniform, since Starfleet was so important to her. Even though _he_ felt different, it didn’t seem to make a difference to her at all. Which, all things considered, was probably a good thing, but it was still surprising to him. They left the ballroom and took the turbolift down to the ground floor. As she leaned back against the lift wall, arms crossed, she sent him a sly glance, biting on her inner cheek in deep contemplation.

“What?” He asked, smiling. He couldn’t quite stop doing that, he realized.

“I’m trying to decide.”

“What?”

“Whether I’m glad you’ve kept your secret talent hidden from me all those years.”

He only had time to laugh before the turbolift doors opened. From there she led him outdoors. As they walked Chakotay commented on her moving speech, prompting them to talk about the ceremony and the promotions. She told him how the admiralty had offered _her_ a promotion a while back, but in the end she had decided to turn it down, for now at least. At some point she looped her arm around his, and he pulled her closer into his side.

They stopped when they were past Jefferson St and found a bench looking out onto the piers. It was busy despite the hour with entertainers, strolling couples, food stands and even tourists. But no Starfleet uniform in sight, which was apparently what she had been looking for.

They settled on the bench, her playful expression now sobered into something grave and serious, something befitting the heaviness of her revelations. Then she told him everything.

She told him what B’Elanna had discovered about Larks, about his prior business involvement with the Cardassians in a time of war, how it actually might have been _his_ dilithium mines Chakotay’s Maquis crew had destroyed. She told him how she had contacted the prisoners he had rescued from the dilithium refinery, and how Larks had bought their silence to ensure that Starfleet never knew about them, or about his contracts with the Cardassians. She mentioned how, that day of his release, she had met with Camilda Loest, who had spoken of Chakotay with fondness and gratitude. Chakotay remembered Camilda as if it had been yesterday that he’d taken her away from that labor camp, and he was relieved to know she had been able to build a new life for herself.

And then Kathryn told him how Larks had allegedly pursued the Maquis – persecuted them, really – because he had learned of a crew of Maquis who had rescued prisoners from the dilithium refinery where Larks sold his dilithium, and he had feared what they might know about his dealings with the Cardassians. Kathryn further told him how Larks had hoped to manipulate her into bargaining away Voyager in exchange for Chakotay’s freedom, because Larks had intended the ship for his stepson, Captain Stedvak. Kathryn looked apologetic when she related her visit to Larks’ office.

“If I’d taken the deal, you would have been free right there and then,” she said quietly, her guilt plain for him to see in her eyes.

Taking her hand, Chakotay quickly reassured her that she had done the right thing by throwing Larks’ deal up in his face. That he couldn’t have lived with himself if he’d known Kathryn had given up her beloved ship for him.

What Larks had told them when they had met in the hall after the trial suddenly made more sense to Chakotay, though he still wondered why he had told _them_ this. Had he been trying to gage whether Chakotay had known about all this?

While it remained unclear as to why Larks had wanted Voyager specifically, Kathryn speculated that it had been entirely opportunistic. Larks had seen an opportunity to enhance his own standing through his son, and he’d taken it. Seven’s evidence of bribery of at least one admiral to get Stedvak in Voyager’s chair seemed to add weight to that. She suspected that Larks had been hoping the command of a reputed ship like Voyager would give Simon Stedvak what he needed to get recognition, and stop being… well, the laughing stock of Starfleet captains for having his father step in on his behalf. In other words, he had been trying to kill two birds with one stone: get rid of the Maquis who could potentially rat him out, and get his son a prestigious command.

It took Kathryn a while to tell him everything. And then they fell silent. The lapping sound of the water and nearby conversations floated to their ears. Chakotay rubbed his upper lip, procesing everything he had just learned. The irony, of course, was that Chakotay had known nothing of all this. He’d had no clue as to the identity of the owners of the mine he and the others had blown up – only that some of the dilithium had ended up in Cardassian hands in one way or another, and that they’d had to stop it. At the time he had assumed it was from raid, not from illicit trading. And the people he had rescued had kept their words to Larks and hadn’t told Chakotay or his crew about Larks’ involvement. The real irony was that if Larks hadn’t pushed for Chakotay’s arrest, chances are none of this would have come to light. There was karma for you.

Chakotay shifted until he was half turned toward Kathryn and he could lean his arm against the back of the bench to touch her shoulder lightly. “It sounds like you were right,” Chakotay told her. “You knew something was up even before you had any real evidence. Good thing you went to get Takayla.”

Her eyes snapped to his at that. “You don’t blame me for going behind your back? For putting my nose where it didn’t belong and meddling in your family affairs?”

“How could I? That pretty nose probably saved me from a life in prison. Besides, I’ve always trusted your instincts.”

When her face brightened into a relieved smile he realized this had been weighing on her.

“Kathryn, why didn’t you tell me all this sooner? Is it because the judge said I couldn’t get involved in Starfleet affairs anymore? Or is this information classified somehow?” Though he was grateful and impressed of the work she had put into bringing this affair to light, a part of him was concerned for her. He knew too well how obsessed she could get with those who had wronged her or her crew, and he was concerned that this thing with Larks would consume her in the same way, if she let it. But if she’d shared all this with him sooner, maybe he could have tempered her obsession.

Her expression turned apologetic. “No, it’s neither of those things. The truth is, I felt you had enough on your mind already. First with the trial, and now… I just wanted you to be able to finally move on, to put this whole thing behind you, and to never have to think about Andrew Larks ever again. You’ve done your part. You’ve served the time. You shouldn’t have to trouble yourself with this anymore.”

“But you should?” He countered with a pointed look. “You shouldn’t feel like you have to bear this burden alone, Kathryn.” As he said the words, a memory of his father’s spirit telling him the exact same thing flashed through his mind and he almost laughed at the irony. It had only taken all of this for Chakotay to finally understand what he’d meant. “You don’t have to feel like you have to protect me. I know you were only trying to spare me, but trust me, I can take it.”

Her lips quirked into a small smile. “That’s never been in doubt, Chakotay. You’ve been so incredibly brave…”

He dismissed the compliment with a quick shake of the head. “I still mean what I said. A lifetime ago, it seems,” he added with a dazed exhale. “When I vowed I would do everything in my power to make your burdens lighter. But what I failed to mention then, is that you have to let me.”

“Well,” she conceded with a quick tilt of the head, “that’s never been my strong suit, as you know better than anyone. But how about this: I promise I’ll do my best.”

“Fair enough.”

“If you promise to do the same.”

He chuckled. “Okay.”

“Good.”

“Good.” They shared a look and Chakotay looked around. “So what do you think, should we go back to the party? People will be wondering where the _rising star_ of Starfleet disappeared to,” he teased.

But instead of standing to her feet, she slid closer to lean against him, her hand coming to rest on his knee. “This rising star says let them speculate awhile longer. For now, let’s just sit here for a while. And plan our camping trip.”

oooOooo


	19. Chapter 19

While Chakotay wished he and Kathryn could have sat on that bench by the pier the whole night, it wasn’t very long after they finished the conversation about Larks that they started to feel the chill seeping in with the fog. They agreed to walk back to the party, since neither of them had had much chance to really enjoy it before. Their conversations remained light while they walked, as if their hearts had quotas on the number of revelations they could safely handle in one night.

Once back at the party Kathryn returned to her mingling. Every time someone said: “Ah, Captain Janeway, there you are!”, Chakotay couldn’t stop himself from sending her an amused look – to which she replied with an arch look of her own. His comment about her being the rising star of Starfleet hadn’t been far off the mark!

Chakotay stayed by her side at first, enjoying those shared looks and secret smiles, but Kathryn was constantly accosted by crewmembers, well-wishers, and old acquaintances. So eventually he excused himself to do some mingling of his own.

“I never got to apologize for screwing up my testimony,” Tom told him at some point, his expression apologetic, after B’Elanna had transferred Miral into Chakotay’s arms.

Chakotay smiled at the baby’s curious dark eyes while he bounced her gently against his shoulder, as if he’d done it a thousand times before. “Don’t worry about it, Tom,” he reassured him. “Admiral Larks knew what he was doing.”

“It was my fault,” Takayla added, “I should have prepared you better for cross-examination.” Her eyes darted instinctively to Nim who was back to running around with Naomi, playing some imaginary game that only they could understand.

Chakotay shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that your hearts were in the right place, all of you. And for that I’m eternally grateful.”

They conversed easily for a while, interrupting here and there for a turn on the dance floor.

Eventually Seven came to speak to him. She came alone – a rare occurrence, she and Axum had hardly left each other’s side all night – and Chakotay shared a smile with her when their gazes traveled to Axum, who was in deep concentration sampling the buffet tables. Chakotay had officially met the young man earlier, and he was pleased to see Seven so happy. It wasn’t particularly obvious, but Chakotay had come to know her pretty well, and he saw the signs with delight: the flush on her cheeks, the eagerness with which she struck up conversations with their crewmates, and a lot of smiling.

“He seems to have developed quite an appetite,” Seven stated with an arched eyebrow. Chakotay heard the wryness of her tone, but didn’t understand why the statement seemed to amuse her in that way.

“Things seem to be going well for you,” Chakotay commented as he studied her, the pleased and fond smile on her face as she followed Axum with her eyes.

“And for you,” she replied as she turned to him. “I was relieved to see you here, free.”

Chakotay nodded, biting his lip briefly. “It came at a cost,” he added as he gestured to his civilian clothing. But, he mused as his gaze traveled to Kathryn, it had come with some pretty amazing perks as well. As if sensing his eyes on her, Kathryn turned her head and smiled over her shoulder. Chakotay felt his own smile widen, and he bit back a chuckle when she discreetly rolled her eyes at her interlocutor, who, by the looks of him, was some kind of high-ranking Starfleet bureaucrat. He briefly wondered whether she was silently asking him to save her from that conversation.

“Most good things seem to come at a cost,” Seven commented, a little wistfully, and Chakotay’s eyes snapped back to her. She had followed his gaze to Kathryn, and Chakotay realized that she understood much more of human emotions than she let on. But also that she wasn’t talking only of his situation, but hers as well.

“I suppose you’re right. What is it costing you?” He asked quietly, studying her response, before taking a sip from his wine.

She frowned as she inhaled. “Nothing so far. But I see different paths ahead of me, and each could cost me much. Voyager. The friends I have made here. Or Axum.”

Chakotay nodded. “That _is_ a high price. But I’m sure you’ll make the right decision, whatever it is. And whatever you decide, you know we’ll support you.”

She smiled, but her smile was still troubled. As if sensing that they were talking about him, Axum returned to Seven’s side, smiling, an impressive assortment of food items piled up on a plate.

“When do you go back to the Beta Quadrant?” Chakotay asked.

“Tomorrow,” Seven replied. “I find myself restless, knowing that Voyager is pursuing this mission in our absence.”

Chakotay nodded knowingly, trying his best not to think about the fact that, from now on, this restlessness, the helplessness that came with being left behind, would be his lot.

“And I’m anxious to return to my post,” Axum added, “I trust my lieutenants with many things, but it is asking a great deal of me to trust them with my ship.” In spite of his joking tone, it was obvious that he took his responsibilities seriously and that his concern for his people wasn’t feigned.

Chakotay smiled, his eyes darting to Seven. “It must have taken something very important to take you away from it.”

Axum smiled knowingly as his gaze traveled to Seven as well. “Exceptionally important.”

“Good,” Chakotay nodded, meeting Seven’s eyes. She smiled at his approval. “Well, you’re not due to leave for a few hours, I recommend trying the dance floor. It can be very…titillating.”

Grinning, Chakotay gave Axum’s upper arm a strong pat before moving on to save Kathryn from that bureaucrat. She gave him a grateful look when he approached her again with a playfully formal request for a dance, and a challenging grin. She rose to the challenge, of course, with an arched brow of her own. Though it was as tantalizing now as it had been before to hold her in his arms, this time he made sure to maintain a proper distance between them. On one hand, though a part of him wanted to scream his happiness from the rooftops, this was all too new to share with anyone just yet. And on the other hand, he didn’t want to risk Kathryn’s standing among her peers – she might not care about his discharge, but her superiors and colleagues might. Though she gave him an amused look at this propriety, she played along. Though that didn’t keep them from having a good time.

It was very late, or very early, when the party eventually faded to a stop. The musicians packed their instruments, the dancers donned their discarded jackets, and hired personnel came to clean up the room.

By then Chakotay had been quietly chatting with the few people of the crew who had not gone home already. B’Elanna and Tom had long taken Miral home, so that left Kathryn, Seven, Axum, Harry, Tuvok and his wife, Icheb, and Takayla. Nimkotay was fast asleep on a nearby chair, oblivious to the sounds around him. Between Seven’s mission, the news of the ongoing diplomatic talks with Species 8472, Icheb’s first few days at the Academy, Tuvok’s return to health, and everyone’s stories of their homecoming, they had plenty to keep them going, until it was only them remaining. And even then it was as a group that they left the ballroom and stepped outside. The first stars of morning were bright in the sky between the few clouds, and there was even the beginning of a lighter hue on the horizon, announcing the first hints of dawn. Chakotay had picked up his sleeping nephew to take him home, and now Nim was totally passed out against his shoulder, his mouth slightly open. The feel of the boy so trusting against him stirred something protective within him, and he tightened his hold around the boy’s thin frame. The downside, however, was that he couldn’t quite give Kathryn the good night he’d been longing for.

She approached him nevertheless, and Chakotay leaned toward her a little to give her his full attention.

“I’ll see you in a few hours? Before you leave?” She asked quietly so as not to wake up his precious charge.

They had agreed earlier that Chakotay would leave with his sister as planned, later that morning. Kathryn would then meet him on his home planet as soon as Larks’ file was taken off her hands.

“Of course,” Chakotay replied.

“Good,” she let out, relieved.

He smiled gently, one corner of his mouth tugging upwards, as he leaned his head a little closer to meet her eyes. “Try to get some sleep, Kathryn.”

She smiled at his words and touched his arm affectionately as she nodded. And then they went their separate ways to get some sleep before Chakotay’s departure with Takayla and Nim.

They met again a few hours later at the interplanetary terminal. Kathryn weaved her way through the crowd just as Chakotay, Takayla and Nimkotay returned from getting their transportation vouchers.

Takayla was the first to move toward Kathryn, opening up her arms in an invitation for a hug. Though he shouldn’t have been surprised that Kathryn had managed to charm even his sister, Chakotay was moved to see them get along so well. It was ironic that what had brought them together had been his own mistakes. They spoke quietly before they pulled back and shook hands warmly.

Kathryn turned to Nimkotay. “And you, young man, are you looking forward to going home?”

Nim shrugged, his expression sullen. “I’ll have to catch up what I missed at school. I’d rather stay here and see more of Starfleet Command.”

Kathryn exchanged a quick, amused, glance with Takayla and Chakotay before returning her attention to Nim. “I’ll tell you what,” she said as she bent over to be at eye levels with him. “How about next time you come for a visit I show you Voyager? I’m sure my assistant – you remember Naomi, right? – I’m sure she’ll be happy to give you a tour. How does that sound?”

He shrugged again but this time there was excitement in his expression that he couldn’t quite conceal. And eventually he giggled, nodding. “Okay!”

Kathryn straightened up to meet Takayla’s gaze. “That is, if your mother approves, of course.”

“Only if your assistant gives _me_ a tour too.”

“Deal.”

Exchanging a glance with Chakotay, Takayla put her arm around Nimkotay’s shoulders to lead him away. Kathryn smiled as she waved and watched them go. And then her eyes met Chakotay’s.

He opened his mouth to say something, but the words suddenly failed him. There was so much he wanted to tell her. He had barely got any sleep these last few hours, his head had been too full of the previous night, and his heart had been too tight with anticipation and a strange kind of irrational fear that she would eventually realize what she was doing and run away screaming in the other direction. Despite the fact that deep down he knew her too well to doubt that her kisses had meant something, and something profound, the doubts lingered. Especially in the light of day.

“You’ll contact me when you get there?” Kathryn asked as she stepped closer.

“Of course. You’ll let me know how it goes with Larks?”

“Of course,” she echoed with a small smile.

Chakotay nodded. Kathryn suddenly bridged the gap between them and kissed him softly, just a light pressure of her lips against his. Chakotay sighed against her mouth, and one of his hands let go of hers to come and cup her cheek. He searched her eyes when he pulled back.

“Am I right in taking that as a sign that you’re not having second thoughts? About joining me in a few days?” He asked, his voice low.

She touched his cheek, and then leaned in to kiss him again. She flashed him a crooked smile. “You know me better than that, Chakotay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He let out a quick smile before his brows furrowed together. “Kathryn,” he started again, more seriously now, his eyes cast down to their fingers, “there’s something I’ve been meaning to say, about Andrew Larks’ case…” He looked up, his expression now fully serious. “I know that you have some personal incentive to see to it that his crimes don’t go unpunished, with the backhanded way he went about getting what he wanted.” He raised his hand to stop her denying his need for concern. “You’ve been known to hold a grudge in the past, Kathryn. And just over the last few days, you’ve spent almost every waking moment working on his case – I know you have. I’ve seen the hold it’s been having on you. And that hold will only keep growing, unless you stop it. Unless you don’t let it consume you. So all I’m saying… all I’m asking, is that you let it go. When it’s time.”

She sighed. For a moment she looked as though she might argue, but she closed her mouth again.

“I promise,” she told him, her expression earnest. “Can I ask something in return?”

Chakotay nodded curiously.

“I get the feeling that, for some reason, you have it in your head that you should be ashamed of everything that’s happened. The trial. The discharge. Your past as a Maquis.”

Chakotay exhaled uncomfortably, wondering how in the world she could see right through him so easily.

“But _I’m_ not,” she went on. “I could never be ashamed of these things, Chakotay, because they’re part of who you are. You know what Camilda Loest said when I told her you had been released?”

Chakotay shook his head, even though her question was rhetorical.

“She said she was glad you were free, because in her mind you deserved a medal. And I agree. I could never be ashamed of you, or of what we have. So all I’m asking… is that you let _that_ go.”

Chakotay drew in a long breath, his throat suddenly tight. “I promise.”

She gave a satisfied nod. Chakotay glanced over her shoulder and noticed Takayla was gesturing him that it was time to go.

Chakotay looked at Kathryn again. “I’ll see you in a few days,” he said before leaning in to kiss her gently.

He stepped away, rearranging his bag over his shoulder. She held on to his fingers as long as she could, and Chakotay’s heart tightened in an emotion that was half sorrow for leaving, and half joy that she was as reluctant as he was. “You better believe it.”

“Don’t forget your sleeping bag,” he threw over his shoulder playfully. With one last grin, he let go of her fingers and stepped away to catch up with his family.

oooOooo

Kathryn sat back in her chair, her gaze directed not at Captain Stedvak’s holographic projection, but to the people who were doing the watching: members of the admiralty, the Deputy Justice Inquirer General, and other Starfleet officials tied to high command in one form or another. All were here to listen to Kathryn and Admiral Hayes present the evidence incriminating Admiral Larks.

Earlier that morning, after she had bid Chakotay goodbye at the terminal, Kathryn had met with Ensign Tagashi and Admiral Hayes. After a short conversation about how to proceed with the new set of allegations that Seven had given them, they had decided to call in an immediate meeting to present the case in person instead of simply submitting the file to Starfleet Command. Making it public in such a way would make it harder for any remaining Larks co-conspirators – if there were more than the one admiral Stedvak had identified by name – to sweep this whole thing under the rug. Despite the short notice, everyone had answered the call.

Once everyone had settled around the table, Kathryn and Admiral Hayes had presented in detail the entirety of the evidence against Larks to them, in so doing making a strong case for the launch of an official investigation into the admiral’s past and current affairs, including all of the Maquis trials he had prosecuted over the years.

And now, every one of the attendees listened with rapt attention as they joined Captain Stedvak’s holographic projection on a holographic version of Voyager’s briefing room. Stedvak looked tired and pale, as if he was still recovering from his encounter with the Borg assimilation chamber, and his voice shook slightly as he spoke. When he finally finished his statement and the holoprogram ended, an uneasy silence, and quite a few sighs, ensued.

And then everyone turned to Admiral Saanvi Avuyasha, who was shaking her head, her eyes wide in a mix of incredulity and growing fear. When Kathryn had told Admiral Hayes and Ensign Tagashi that, according to Captain Stedvak, Avuyasha had been the one Larks had bribed to swing the votes in favor of his machinations, she had been met with disbelieving glares. But Hayes had quickly accepted that Avuyasha had played him for a fool, and his expression had darkened. Kathryn herself had been surprised as well, however this revelation had made sense for various reasons. For instance, Admiral Avuyasha had been the one to sign off on Kathryn’s request for personal leave, so it would have been easy for the admiral to share that information with Larks. And it _had_ been Avuyasha who had assigned Captain Stedvak to Voyager.

Admiral Hayes now stood, his expression grim. “Admiral Avuyasha, given the allegations made by Captain Simon Stedvak regarding your willing participation in acts of corruption, we have obtained a warrant for a search of all of your assets.”

“Hank, this is preposterous!” Avuyasha pleaded as she jumped to her feet. “Are you really going to believe the ramblings of this… this eternal adolescent against my word, after all these years we’ve been working together?”

“I’m afraid it’s not a matter of belief, Saanvi,” Hayes replied calmly, sadly. “Either you’re guilty of what he accuses you of, or you’re not. And balking against the search warrant can only point to the former. So I suggest you comply. If he really is making this up, then you have nothing to fear.”

Avuyasha’s eyes turned wide as they darted around the room, looking for any signs of support. But she would find none here. Not from Hayes, and definitely not from Kathryn.

“Escort the admiral to a secure room,” Hayes ordered and two security officers took Avuyasha by the elbows to lead her away. Though Avuyasha continued to shake her head, she didn’t make a scene.

After she went through the doors, the room fell silent again.

The Deputy Justice Inquirer now rose to her feet. She cleared her throat as she stared at the many faces looking up at her. “Well,” she said with an incredulous exhale, “I’m still processing everything you’ve told us today. It’s a lot to take in. But I’m grateful to Captain Janeway and Admiral Hayes for bringing this sad affair to our attention.” She straightened. “On behalf of the institution of Justice Inquirer General, I recommend a formal investigation be launched into Admiral Andrew Larks’ past and current affairs.”

Hayes turned to the next person down the table. “Admiral Paris?”

“I agree with the Deputy Justice Inquirer. And on behalf of my department, I further recommend Larks be relieved of duty effecting immediately. I believe we have grounds for such action, at least.”

Hayes went around the table, and everyone acquiesced. When they were done, Hayes nodded again. “Thank you all. I, along with Captain Janeway and our young associate Ensign Mea Tagashi, will continue to monitor this case closely. But as per protocol, we hand over the official investigation to you,” he added as he turned to one of the Starfleet High Command officials, who nodded somberly.

The meeting was adjourned and Kathryn rubbed her face tiredly as the attendees rose to their feet and exited the room, often in hushed conversation with one another. She felt like she hadn’t slept in days. Probably looked it too. Perhaps Chakotay had been right about her obsessing over this. Maybe she really needed to let it go if she wanted to find the kind of happiness and peace she was looking forward to with Chakotay.

“Well,” Hayes said wryly, “it looks like there’s another opening for a promotion to admiral. Are you sure you won’t reconsider, Kathryn?”

Kathryn smiled but shook her head. “Oh no. I’m perfectly content in a captain’s chair for now. And actually,” she added, pausing in the middle of gathering her PADDs and notes to look at him, “I’d like to withdraw myself from further involving myself on this case. I’ve given enough of my precious time to that man, I’m more than ready to wash my hands of him.”

Both Hayes and the ensign seemed a little taken aback, staring at her in surprise, but Hayes nodded eventually. “As you wish, Kathryn. Well, thank you both for your hard work.”

“You can thank us by buying us a drink,” Kathryn quipped with a crooked smile as she slung the strap of her bag over her shoulder. “I think we deserve one, wouldn’t you say, Ensign?”

~0~

After one drink with Hayes and Mea Tagashi, Kathryn had stood to her feet, bid them goodbye, and left the lounge. She’d checked her pocket watch: 4:16 pm. Perfect. That left her plenty of time to make it to her second scheduled meeting of the day.

By the time she made it to the agreed-upon rendezvous point – a grass-covered park with tall trees providing shadows for the weekenders gathered there – Kathryn forced herself not to pace. Instead she tried to imagine what Chakotay was doing at this very moment. Since it had only been a few hours, he would still be settling on the shuttle that took him home. She wondered whether he was thinking of her, too.

A dog barking nearby caught her ear, and sure enough, when she looked up in that direction there was a familiar Irish setter straining against her leash to get the man behind her to go faster.

Kathryn couldn’t help but grin at the sight of them. When they were close enough, Mark waved at her, despite being dragged into a reluctant jog, and let go of the leash. Mollie ran the last few meters to Kathryn, wagging her tails and making little cries of over-joy as she circled around her legs frantically.

Kathryn crouched down to a squat to better pet her and caressed her dog’s soft ears, and Mollie replied by getting in a couple of well-placed licks on her face. “How’ve you been, girl?” Kathryn asked softly, chuckling, her heart squeezing in something that was halfway between joy and pain. Mollie now had patches of white hair around her eyes and her muzzle, making her look like she had a white beard. And reminding Kathryn that seven years had passed. How long did that make in dog years?

“Now I know which one of us you missed the most!”

Kathryn grinned as she looked up and found her ex-fiancé looking down at her, smiling, panting a little from the forced exercise of being dragged into a jog behind Mollie. Kathryn stood to her feet, her hands still trying to get the dog to stop circling around her legs in pure canine merriment.

“Hello Mark,” she greeted as she stepped closer.

She’d had no idea what she would feel at the sight of him: regret? Longing? Sorrow? Bitterness? But it turned out it was none of those things. She was simply glad to see him, just like she would be happy to reunite with old friends and family. By the expression on his face, he felt the same, and she saw none of the awkwardness she’d heard in the message he had left her.

“It’s great to see you, Kath,” he said, leaning forward to kiss her cheek, and Kathryn was surprised that it felt alien to her. He didn’t linger, and didn’t even look awkward when he pulled back to continue smiling at her. His eyes traveled over her face a little incredulously, as if he still couldn’t believe she was there. As if they’d just run into each other by accident and he couldn’t get over the coincidence.

“You too. Thanks for agreeing to meet on such short notice.”

He shook his head to dismiss it. “Oh of course. I can’t stay long, Lydia and I have some plans in a bit. But since I’ve heard your ship had made it back, I’ve been looking forward to seeing you.”

Lydia, his wife.

Kathryn examined her feelings at the thought. But there was no trace of jealousy. Just an honest desire for their happiness. Was it possible that she had truly and really completely moved on?

“I can’t stay long either,” she said. She needed to start packing.

To go camping.

_Camping._ Her poor father must be turning in his grave! She had to admit though, that the thought of some uninterrupted time with Chakotay continued to make her heart beat wildly in anticipation. Her skin still felt feverish from not having been touched in the way it had desperately wanted the night before.

“Well then, shall we?” Mark said as he gestured for them to walk.

Kathryn grabbed Mollie’s leash and they started walking slowly, without a clear destination.

“Tell me, how does it feel to be back?” He asked after a moment. “After all this time. How long’s it been, seven, eight years?”

“Seven years,” Kathryn confirmed. Again, maybe she should be insulted that he hadn’t been counting the hours and the days and the years since she’d been gone, but she felt none of it. “It feels… good. Exhilarating. And strangely anticlimactic,” she added wryly. “Don’t take me wrong,” she went on, “I’m glad to be back, of course. And I’m proud of the fact that I was able to get most of my crew back home, but…”

His tone was suddenly weighted when he spoke. “I know. Even if you just spent the last seven, eight years doing everything in your power to come back, I venture it’s not going to be very long before you set off again. You’ve always been married to Starfleet and the thrill of exploration, Kathryn. I’ve always known a part of your heart would always be up there, among the stars.”

Was that true? She didn’t think it was, at least, not anymore. True she missed Voyager, and she missed the challenges and the satisfaction that came from new discoveries, but… with Chakotay waiting for her to get back to him, and the life she wanted for them, she could actually see herself settling down in a sedentary life by his side. Maybe not now, but… eventually. Because she knew his presence and companionship would fulfill her just as much as Starfleet did. So why hadn’t she felt that way with Mark? She’d loved him dearly, and yet, part of her had always needed something else to keep her satisfied. Something that at the time she could only find among unexplored nebulae and unknown binary star systems.

“Mark, for what it’s worth… I am sorry.”

He frowned, confused. “For what? It wasn’t your fault that you were stranded, was it?”

It was a rhetorical question, but Kathryn bit her lips, and raised an eyebrow.

His confusion cleared and his expression faltered. “Oh. I see.”

“I should clarify. It wasn’t my fault that we were sent to the Delta Quadrant, but it _was_ my decision that got us stranded there.”

“That sounds like an incredible story.”

“It is, but it’s a long one,” Kathryn replied as she stopped walking and crouched to pet Mollie again. The setter was panting happily, her tongue drooping out of one side of her mouth. Kathryn smiled at the sight.

He checked the time. “Then maybe we’ll keep it for another time. I’m afraid I have to go already.”

Kathryn rose to her feet again and returned his smile. “Right.” She handed back the leash to him and he took it.

“I thought maybe you’d want to take her,” he said. Was he offering that she take Mollie back? Or was he afraid that she _would_ take her?

“Oh no, you’ve taken care of her when I left her behind, she’s yours now. I wouldn’t want to put her through that ordeal again next time I’m deployed.”

He nodded, and Kathryn realized he was pleased. So he’d grown to love the dog after all! “Well, until next time, then,” she said with a slight bow.

“Until next time.” He started pulling on Mollie’s leash gently, but Mollie planted her paws into the grass and pulled toward Kathryn again.

He raised his eyebrows. “Okay, how about shared custody?”

Kathryn laughed as she kissed Mollie’s nose and whispered a ‘go’ command in her ear.

Mark smiled when he retreated, Mollie trotting along happily. Kathryn sighed contentedly.

Awkward meeting with Mark: check.

And it hadn’t been half as awkward as she’d expected.

~o~

When Kathryn got home afterwards, her heart much lighter and her head full of thoughts of Chakotay, an unexpected surprise was waiting for her in the lobby of her building.

“Katie, honey!”

Kathryn froze for a moment as her mind caught up to the information her senses were giving her: her mother and sister were rousing from one of the couches by the main desk, waving happily and pulling on luggage as they approached her.

How could she have forgotten about her mother’s plans to visit?

“Mom!” She met them halfway and embraced her mother. And then she turned to her sister Phoebe and hugged her tightly as well.

“We wanted to surprise you,” her mother said, all the while studying Kathryn’s face carefully, as if making sure she was in one piece. Kathryn suddenly felt like she was 10 years old again, returning home from an exploration in the woods to her mother’s concerned glare, asking where she’d been and checking her for injury. Admittedly her mother’s concern had not been unwarranted, as Kathryn had had her fair share of scrapes and broken bones.

“Surprise me! Oh you’ve certainly managed _that_.”

Several minutes later, Kathryn stepped out onto the balcony adjacent to her new quarters and handed her sister a glass of wine. “There you go Phee-phee,” Kathryn said. Phoebe had always hated that contraction of her name, and when they were kids Kathryn would use it just to rile her up (in retaliation her sister had called her Alley Cat – thankfully _that_ hadn’t stuck). But now it had become kind of a long-standing joke between them.

“To my sister’s safe return,” Phoebe toasted as she raised her glass, and they both took a sip. Kathryn joined her by the railings and leaned against it. Was it only the night before that she’d done the exact same thing next to Chakotay? It seemed like ages ago already.

They chatted quietly for a while as they sipped their wine, both of their gazes out toward the historic site of the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance. Their mother had insisted she cooked them dinner – she was “happy to do it, it was no trouble, now both of you, get out” – so Kathryn had folded, more than happy to leave her pristine kitchen into her mother’s care. Meanwhile, Phoebe filled her up on the gossip from Indiana and talked about her work, her two children, her husband, catching Kathryn up on every detail she had missed over the years. Phoebe had always had a chatty, free-spirited, artsy disposition, and Kathryn enjoyed listening to her and watching her expressions shift across her face. It reminded her of their later teenage years, just before Kathryn had left for the Academy, when they had actually started getting along.

“So I heard Mark got married,” Phoebe remarked eventually.

Kathryn nodded around a sip of wine as she turned to rest her elbows against the railing behind her. “Hmm, yes. I’ve heard that too.”

“That must have hurt. You were so sure he was the love of your life.”

“It did hurt at first,” Kathryn conceded before shaking her head at the second part. “What a silly notion.” Today had proven that. And she now felt lighter from that knowledge, as if there was truly nothing keeping her from moving on with her life anymore. And start afresh with Chakotay.

Oh but she couldn’t wait until they were together again. Kathryn hadn’t gotten the chance to really tell him just how deep here feelings were, to tell him that – perhaps too simply put – she loved him, and it pressed on her. But there was more than that in her need to see him. She couldn’t shake the feeling of his warm hands against her back, the feel of his body pressed close to hers as they danced the first time, the intense heat of his lips against hers, the way the desire had sparked so naturally, almost comfortably, between them. A natural byproduct of years of a deep friendship and undeniable chemistry. And now that she’d had a small taste of it, of that side of him that she had always done her utmost not to fantasize about, the anticipation was pure, delicious torment.

“Are you planning on seeing him again?”

Who were they talking about again? Mark. Right. Kathryn avoided her sister’s gaze, her expression saying it all.

“Oh you already have!” Phoebe leaned forward eagerly, as if preparing herself for a juicy story.

“It’s not what you think,” Kathryn rectified, defensive against her sister’s obvious glee. “I’ve moved on from Mark. A long time ago. In fact-” she stopped herself, for some reason reluctant to bring Chakotay into this conversation. Even though she and Chakotay had known each other for years, a romantic relationship with him felt new, like their feelings were just in their infancy. And like any fragile newborn, her instinct was to protect them, cocoon them away from the rest of the world. Especially from her sister’s tendency to tease her about her romantic affairs. She had spoken to truth when she’d told him she wasn’t, and could never be, ashamed of him, so her desire to keep their burgeoning relationship to herself was born out of pure selfishness on her part. But of course her sister knew her too well.

She stared at her with newfound interest. “Ahhh. Who is he?”

Kathryn smiled despite herself, and something in her expression must have revealed something important, because Phoebe’s teasing smirk sobered into a curious, but gentler smile.

“His name is Chakotay.”

“Chakotay,” Phoebe repeated softly, as if trying out the syllables of his name on her tongue. “Tell me about him.”

Oh, where to begin? She felt like she knew him inside out, and yet she couldn’t find just a few words to describe him. He was kind, passionate, attentive, humble, brave, he preferred reading to holonovels, he had a wonderful sense of humor, he wasn’t afraid to fight for what he believed in, he took his coffee with too much sugar, he was as much philosopher as he was soldier… the list went on and on.

“He’s…” Her words faltered as her thoughts traveled to him, imagining him sitting with his own sister and nephew aboard the shuttle. Her heart went out to him, and for a silly moment, she imagined him sensing it across space-time. “He’s so many things, I don’t know where to start.”

Phoebe grinned, but her expression was still gentle. “Wow, you’ve got it bad.”

Kathryn had to agree.

“Well, I hope I’ll get to meet him some day. He must be quite the person to be worthy of you.”

Phoebe had never been one to compliment her, so Kathryn gave her an emotional smile as she reached out to squeeze her arm, touched. “I’m sure you will. Maybe after the _camping_ trip he’s talked me into doing with him,” she added with an exaggerated roll of her eyes.

Phoebe laughed after her mouth gaped open in surprise. “Camping! Oh, don’t tell our mother, she’ll have your skin for doing this for him when you would only go kicking and screaming when we were kids.”

“Well,” Kathryn replied as she pushed herself from the rail with an impish glance, “between you and me, the rewards are likely to be much more agreeable this time around.”

Laughing together, they quickly responded to their mother’s call that dinner was ready. Just like in the old days.

oooOooo


	20. Chapter 20

When Seven and Axum returned to the Resistance at last, Captain Stedvak was back in the captain’s chair on Voyager, and Peres back as his First Officer. In their absence the Starships and the Resistance vessels had traveled deeper into the Beta Quadrant on their way to intercept a Borg cube whose location had been delivered through intelligence from Species 8472.

“Permission to step onto the bridge,” Seven asked formally as she exited the turbolift. Had it been Captain Janeway in that seat instead of Stedvak, she would have simply given an acknowledging nod. However, with the dour look Stedvak settled upon her, Seven realized it might be in her interest not to appear too…hostile. Clearly he resented her for coercing him into delivering his father to the authorities. Though she knew little of fathers’ relationships with their offspring, she thought she could empathize. Somewhat.

Stedvak nodded once in response to her question before returning his gaze toward the viewscreen. He still looked pale, with deep circles under his eyes, as if he hadn’t fully recovered yet. Or perhaps this ordeal had been made worse somehow by the happenings with his father.

“I trust your mission has been accomplished to your satisfaction?” Captain Stedvak asked without turning to look at her, his question dripping with sarcasm.

Seven met Peres’ gaze briefly and nodded. “It has.”

“I’m so glad,” Stedvak replied caustically, his tone flat.

Seven inhaled slowly to school her annoyance as she exchanged another glance with Peres.

Over the next several hours, she focused her attention on her bridge duties. They encountered the Borg exactly where the Species 8472 scouts said they would, and they soon coordinated with Axum, Captain Uang and the other Resistance vessels to get into position to intercept.

Their small fleet had the advantage of surprise and tactical planning this time, so the battle ended much sooner than their first skirmish had, and with no casualties on their side. In a much efficient manner than before, the away teams were deployed to the incapacitated Cube, while medical personnel stood by to receive more drones to assist. Most of those who had been severed from the Collective in the first battle had already been returned to their system of origin (thanks to Species 8472’s willingness to do so) or integrated into the Resistance, according to their wishes. However there were still many who required more time to recuperate from medical procedures, and the two Federation starships were still near full capacity. So the fleet’s pace was significantly impeded by the de-borged drones’ slow rate of recovery.

While traveling on the Delta Flyer, Seven and Axum had discussed in more serious detail the logistics of setting up a safe haven for de-borged individuals. It had started out as a barely an idea, but now the need for it certainly felt more urgent. So a plan was actually taking form in their minds as well as in the physical world: Axum had already dispatched a scout ship to the planet he and Seven had flagged in the Astrometrics database in order to assess the feasibility of establishing a colony there, and to approach the native inhabitants with the proposal. Meanwhile, they would have to proceed as before. She was told that the Doctor had been working with Aspire’s own Chief Medical Officer on setting up a portable medical facility, equipped with all the necessary tools and apparatus, that they could take to the Borg Cubes directly, instead of transporting the drones here. It was an ingenious idea and would likely lighten the strain on their life supports while they set up the safe haven.

Voyager’s sickbay was once again at full capacity when Seven walked into the room, hours after their second attack on the Borg had been accomplished.

The Doctor’s expression brightened into a smile when he noticed her. “Seven! Welcome back.”

Seven smiled as she followed him to his desk. “Thank you. It’s good to be back.”

“How did it go?” He asked, lowering his voice.

Seven nodded. “According to plan. I’ve delivered the recording to Captain Janeway, so it’s in her hands, now. I also bring good wishes from the crew, and some news.”

She told him about the outcome of Chakotay’s trial, and even reported on the status of many of the crewmembers who had since reunited with family members. She told him about the celebration she had attended, the promotions, and how Captain Janeway had specifically mentioned him in her speech.

“Oh? What did she say?” He asked with no small amount of curiosity, mixed with pride.

“That you had extended well beyond your program.”

“And?”

“That’s all.”

His face fell. “Oh. I see. I should be grateful to even be mentioned, I suppose.”

Seven smiled as she unclasped her hands and opened her fingers, revealing the blue box Captain Janeway had entrusted her with. “But she did ask me to give you this, on her behalf. And on behalf of Starfleet Command.”

“ _I have something for the Doctor,”_ Janeway had said before they had parted, the night of the celebration. _“Please give him my regards, and this.”_ She had pulled out a small, blue box bearing the Starfleet logo out of her pocket and handed it to Seven. _“I’m always a little reluctant to boost his ego, but in this case it’s well deserved.”_

Now the Doctor’s eyes darted down to the box and back to Seven’s eyes, his expression clearing as he realized Seven had been teasing him about the speech. Seven raised her eyebrows in encouragement, and with a small, dazzled smile, he reached out to take it. He opened it slowly, and exhaled in a mix of gratitude, pride and emotion as his eyes settled on its content.

“Captain Janeway had hoped to give it to you in person at the ceremony,” Seven explained as the Doctor delicately took the medal out of the box, to feel its weight in his hand. “She wished to show her appreciation for your exemplary service.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

Seven raised a cynical eyebrow – that might well be a first. “Well, luckily you still have ample time to figure it out, before Captain Janeway returns among us.”

He nodded, still touched by the captain’s symbolic gesture. “Thank you, Seven.”

Seven nodded again, before leaving the Doctor to his contemplation and his patients. Feeling that her mission was accomplished to the captain’s satisfaction, now was time for Seven to regenerate. She hadn’t done so for several days, now, and she was starting to feel the drag from lack of rest.

Besides, the alcove’s ability to clear her mind would be most welcome at the moment, when decisions about her future seemed to weigh on her, in ways they never had before. She had given a lot of thought to Janeway’s words the night of the ceremony, especially to her assumptions that Seven might well remain in the Beta Quadrant with Axum. It was true that a part of her balked at the thought of being separated from Axum indefinitely again. And yet, she couldn’t quite consider leaving this ship that had become her home, and the crew that had become her family, either. To leave deeply-rooted relationships for something so new seemed illogical.

When her regeneration cycle ended, Seven felt reenergized but she was no closer to a decision. She arranged to meet with Axum. She faced a conundrum, and Axum was the only one who could help her resolve it.

As per her indications, he found her on Voyager’s holodeck. His expression brightened in curious wonder as he took in the holographic environment of Sandrine’s, the smoky voice of the female singer at the piano, and the strangely dressed extras at the pool tables or the bar. His brows furrowed together curiously when he finally reached her by the large glass doors that led to a patio filled with wrought-iron tables and chairs. “What’s all this?”

Seven smiled. “I hope you won’t mind the frivolity of joining me in this holoprogram, while our fleet is tending to the new incapacitated drones.” She said, a question in her tone, as she pushed herself from the doorframe. “I thought we could use some respite away from the bustle.”

“Holoprogram?” He repeated as his eyes scanned the room again. “Are you saying these aren’t real people?”

Thinking of the Doctor and his struggles to be considered as a person, she rectified. “They are photonic projections programed to mimic human behavior.”

“Remarkable! With this kind of technology, we could potentially recreate Unimatrix 0!”

Seven hadn’t considered it before, but he was right, especially now that they had almost unlimited access to Borg technology. But this was not the conversation she wanted them to have now. She touched her hair with uncharacteristic nervousness. She had let it down for this occasion, and she felt strangely self-conscious. “Perhaps we should sit.”

He followed her distractedly, still occupied with taking in the décor. “What is that they’re doing?” Axum asked and Seven bit back her annoyance at his lack of focus. Instead she followed his gaze.

“The game is called ‘pool.’ The objective is to use the cue to strike all of the balls of the same kind into the various pockets around the table.”

“Ah! It looks a game of great precision and skill. Have you tried it?” He said as he returned his gaze to her again. Finally.

“Several times.”

He was going to say more, maybe even suggest that _they_ play a game now, but Seven stopped him by touching his wrist. “Axum.”

He blinked, and focused on her at last, for the first time noticing her earnest expression. He shifted into his seat to better face her. He cleared his throat in apology. “Please, go ahead.”

Seven took in a steadying breath. “I’ve asked you here, because…” she frowned as she searched for the right words to convey her emotions. And her puzzle. “Because this time we’ve spent together. Over the last several days…”

He smiled encouragingly, shifting his hand to clasp hers.

“I have found it greatly enjoyable.”

He nodded, his eyes meeting hers, his own expression earnest now. “So have I.”

“And I feel… quite at ease here, with you and the Resistance. In fact it feels a lot like part of me _belongs_ here.”

His expression brightened in relief and his lips tugged upwards in a quick smile. “I was hoping you would.”

“However,” she swallowed, “it also feels as though another part of me belongs _here,_ on Voyager. As much as I wish to stay with you, and work alongside you to bring about Safe Haven, and continue the fight against the Borg… My feelings, as irrelevant as they should be, tell me I’m also not quite ready to leave this crew, or the home I have made for myself aboard this ship. Not yet.”

He sighed, rubbing his chin. “I see.”

“I confess…” Seven went on softly, “I have never felt such lack of clarity before, much less desired two irreconcilable things at once. I am at a loss.”

Axum met her eyes and sighed again, taking her hand in both of his. “I appreciate how torn you must be feeling, Annika. And though, yes, I admit I was hoping you would want to stay here, with us… with me, I also understand why you would feel some reluctance. I feel connected to my own ship in a similar way as you are to Voyager. I understand. And I also know it wouldn’t be fair of me to make you choose. So I have a proposition, if you’ll hear it.”

“Please.”

He frowned with sudden heaviness as he gathered his thoughts. This was the man she had witnessed with that drone, a few days before, the man who had won her admiration with his kindness and depth of feeling. He licked his lips before meeting her eyes again. “With your help, and Species 8472’s help, the Beta Quadrant will soon be free of the Borg as we knew them. Soon there will be so few of them connected together, individual Cubes will be rendered harmless. When that happens, we will have succeeded here. And when that time comes, I will appeal to Captain Janeway and her superiors at Starfleet Command, to take our Resistance to the Alpha Quadrant. I know the Federation of Planets has suffered great losses at the hands of the Borg, so should the Federation agree to our creating a more formal alliance, you and I would be in a position to reunite again. In the Alpha Quadrant. In that way, you would not have to leave the crew in order for us to be together.”

“You’ve been in the Beta Quadrant all your life – you would give up the familiarity of your natal system?”

“I would. Well,” he added with his more typical grin, “so long as I can also get an uninterrupted supply of Earth’s delicacies by the same token.”

Seven felt a smile tug at her lips. “I’ll make sure to instruct Captain Janeway to include this stipulation when she presents your proposal to her superiors.”

He chuckled softly before returning to his softer tones. “Like you, my _home_ hasn’t been a specific location for quite some time, now, and considering what I would gain by it, it would be no great sacrifice for me to continue my nomadic ways in the Alpha Quadrant.”

She searched his eyes as for a moment. “And in the meantime?”

“Well, we have now recovered several transwarp coils, and it follows that we will not have to rely on Species 8472 as much for transport. They will now be able to join our fight, if they so wish, rather than focus their energy on localization. To have them fight with us will greatly improve our fleet. But the transwarp coils also change things for us: we wouldn’t be as far apart as we once were, despite the great distances that will remain.”

“True. However we will both be occupied with our respective missions, and will not often be in a position to see each other, even if we are both in the Alpha Quadrant.”

“True.” He conceded, his voice turning soft and enthralling, as one of his hands reached out to gently touch a lock of her hair, his eyes meeting hers earnestly. “But until then, we have a few more days before you are called back to Earth. Perhaps we should just make the most of it. While we can. And when we see each other again, we will only pick up where we left off, as we did in Unimatrix 0. And we will continue to do so until we no longer bear to be separated.”

Seven searched his eyes, lost in his voice, the dark pink of his lips, the words of truth that passed those lips to enthrall her, pull her in.

Without further hesitation, she leaned in to kiss his lips tentatively. They were just as she remembered from Unimatrix 0: soft and warm and deeply arousing. It was as though their kiss was an extension of their conversation, one that now also involved their mouths and lips and hands. He shifted and came to sit next to her, sliding his arms around her. Seven sighed at the pleasurable sensations that assaulted her senses, but also at the deep longing within her, that was simultaneously happy and painful.

They pulled back for a moment, searching each other’s eyes. His expression was intense and passionate, and she could feel his chest heave against hers, his hands now just above her waist.

“Computer, remove holodeck characters. Leave the music. Lock the door.”

The extras disappeared around them.

Axum looked around them briefly. “Remarkable!”

She smiled and his eyes returned to hers.

After a brief pause of looking into her eyes, searching, he kissed her again. Seven had a strange feeling as his hands touched and his lips seduced, that they had kissed like this before. And it occurred to her that they _had,_ when they had carried out a romantic affair in Unimatrix 0. And though her brain didn’t remember it, it was clear now that her body did. It responded to his every touch and kiss and sigh naturally, instinctively. So Seven turned off her mind, and let her senses take over as she slid closer to him, and deepened their kiss.

ooooOoooo

Chakotay’s return home made more noise than he had anticipated.

Not that he’d expected rotten tomatoes thrown at his face, but he hadn’t really imagined that people from his community would care one way or the other about his return. But he’d been wrong.

He hadn’t set foot in his sister’s house (which had been their childhood home before it had been hers) for more than a few minutes before the next-door neighbors stopped by, graciously bringing with them home-baked treats. And then _their_ neighbors rang the bell. And then the neighbors from down the road.

And all of them were happy to see him.

The well-wishers hailed mostly from his parents’ generation, and Chakotay had the distinct feeling that, though they meant well, their visits also amounted to some good ole neighborly nosiness. Chakotay amused himself imagining the rumors spreading around the neighborhood like wildfire: _Ouh I hear Kolopak’s boy has returned! They say he’s lost a leg or two in a duel against a space beast! Oh but I’ve heard he’s seen so many wondrous things that he’s turned blind from the beauty of it all! I hear a beautiful enchantress has stolen half of his heart and keeps it on her castle in the sky…_ Well, there would be _some_ truth to that one, at least, he’d thought wryly.

Needless to say, he had to exchange more than one amused glance with Takayla as they patiently bore the flow of well-wishers pouring through her door over the first few days of his arrival.

But even though he made light of it, deep down he was touched that they remembered him at all, that when he told them Voyager’s story, his role in it, and their final skirmish with the Borg, he could see real pride in their eyes. And even though he told them how he was now dishonorably discharged from Starfleet (he couldn’t accept their pride unless they knew the full story), he was moved when they dismissed that part as if it were some kind of insignificant detail.

And that’s when he started to realize that maybe it was. That maybe he could actually fulfill his promise to Kathryn, and let go of his shame.

And he also came to realize that part of the reason his return made such an impact was because he was one of the few of his generation to have returned, be it from fighting for the local resistance, from directly challenging the Cardassian occupiers, or from joining their voices to the Maquis battle cry. As such, he now understood, he embodied all the fallen sons and daughters who had not been as lucky as him. He felt it especially acutely when Denkotah’s parents stopped by, bringing with them a container of Chakotay’s favorite mushroom soup and none of the rancor Chakotay would have expected under the circumstances. It was humbling on too many levels to count.

Aside from meeting with all these people, Chakotay also used his first few days back to revisit his old haunts. He could feel his parents’ presence, welcoming him, surrounding him, wherever he went, and he let that feeling sink in, filling him with peace. He also took every opportunity to get to know his nephew. Every day Chakotay walked Nimkotay to school, and they played catch or velocity or some other game in the afternoon. Chakotay found he truly enjoyed the boy’s company, and he loved teaching him the things that his own parents had taught him as a boy. He also met Takayla’s new partner, Karad. He was Denkotah’s opposite both in appearance and in temperament, but Chakotay could see that his sister was happier when he was around. And Nim seemed to like him too. That’s all the reassurance he’d needed before welcoming him to the family.

And he spent a great deal of time thinking, about both his past and his future. Kathryn, of course, took up a large portion of those thoughts, and he often wondered what she was doing at that very minute. But even though Kathryn was a major part of his hopes for the future, there was more to it too: he needed to figure out what to do with the rest of his life. He needed to find an occupation that would keep him busy and content while Kathryn took Voyager on new adventures without him. The last thing he wanted was to become resentful of the circumstances – or worst, Kathryn herself. So he spent a great deal of time thinking about his options, about what would truly make him happy. And when he was done thinking, he put together a concrete plan of action to ensure that his discharge from Starfleet would actually _become_ an insignificant detail in the grand scheme of things. Suddenly it didn’t seem like such a bad thing anymore, but actually became a rare opportunity for a second chance. Realizing how lucky he was to get one, Chakotay wasn’t about to let it slip by.

All the while he also made sure that everything was ready for Kathryn’s impending arrival. She’d contacted him briefly that night after his departure from Earth, letting him know that she may be delayed due to a surprise visit from her mother and sister. Chakotay had reined his disappointment; he’d spent years loving her from afar, without daring to hope that she would ever return his feelings, he could bear a few more days, especially knowing that the delay was for a good cause. So instead he’d told her to enjoy the time with her family, and to just join him when she was ready. There had been deeper meaning to that as well, because he wanted her to be sure that what he had to offer (which was only himself, at this point) was what she wanted.

So over the next few days, he’d kept himself busy making sure she would enjoy her time here. He’d driven the rover to the foot of the mountains to check up on the sites, and made sure that all would be ready for her. Back at the house, Takayla and Nimkotay watched him do this, do that, fix this, paint that, with identical amused expressions. But he willfully ignored them. The manual nature of the work helped him focus his mind away from the sense of anticipation that made him feel giddy. And a little nervous, if he was honest with himself.

Really, he scolded himself, he’d lived through too much to be nervous about Kathryn joining him here and finally letting their relationship evolve, but he was. Because the heart never grew old. He decided to channel his nervousness into his long-held commitment to let her needs come first, to let her decide the pace of their relationship, and go from there.

“Since when are you such a handyman?”

Chakotay startled, looking up from the old-fashioned door handle he was trying to adjust, a screw trapped between his lips while both of his hands were busy holding everything in place. Takayla was standing in the corridor, an amused smile on her face as she chewed on berries.

Chakotay removed the screw from his mouth and screwed it in its intended place, smiling. “Something I must have picked up in the Delta Quadrant, I guess.”

She stepped closer and extended her hand to offer some berries. He plucked a couple from the bowl and tossed them into his mouth.

“Not only has the prodigal son returned,” she teased, “but he’s returned transformed!” Chakotay chuckled at her tone, though they both knew there was some truth to this. The last seven years had changed him, they had made him into a better, a wiser, man. At least he hoped. “When that’s done, a couple of floor tiles in the hallway need to be replaced and the fireplace needs sweeping.”

“Okay. I’ll get to it right after this.” Chakotay nodded, realizing only when he looked up and saw her mirthful grin that she was only teasing him. “Very funny.”

She sat down next to him, smiling. “You know Chak,” she said as she examined his handy work, “she’s used to living on a starship, I’m sure she’ll be able to survive the house for a few days without you renovating the whole place beforehand.”

Chakotay grinned to himself. “Who says I’m not doing this for my sweet little sister and her family?” He replied, throwing her a challenging glance.

Hew eyes narrowed. “Oh nice try.”

He chuckled again, then gave a small shrug. “I’m just trying to keep busy,” he confessed, “and if I can do something nice for you all by the same token, even better.”

She nodded and reached out to help him hold the plate in place while he finished with the installation.

“So, the mountains, huh?” She asked conversationally. “Didn’t you always hate it when our father took you on his expeditions in the middle of the jungle, or the woods? I mean I know you’re looking for a romantic getaway, but Captain Janeway doesn’t strike me as the camping kind of woman.”

Chakotay grinned again, a little amazed that Takayla had pinned her down so accurately. “Oh she can hold her own in situations when her survival or the survival of her crew is at stake, but you’re right. She’s not particularly fond of letting go of the comforts she’s accustomed to. Which is why we’re going to the cabin – though she doesn’t know that yet. But this trip… it’s something we-” he faltered, for a second hesitating to divulge anymore. Chakotay had never told anyone the details of their bittersweet quarantine on ‘New Earth,’ and he was fairly certain Kathryn had kept them to herself as well, in particular just how close they had grown, and just how close she had been to letting go. But now that they had new, sweeter and less bitter memories to make together, this secret period of their relationship didn’t seem like it needed to be so secret any longer. “You see, a long time ago, we’d made plans to go exploring this river on an M-class planet we were stranded on,” he explained, recalling the plans he had drawn up to build a canoe, and how excited Kathryn had been to go explore. “But we never got a chance to do it.” He gave a small shrug. “Doing this now seems like it would be a good way for us to start getting rid of all the Starfleet duty, protocols and obstacles that have always stood between us.”

“How so?” Takayla asked curiously. Chakotay tested the handle. It worked.

He paused while he put his tools away. “Because out there, in the wilderness, she’s not going to be in command of anything, she’s not going to be a captain, or Starfleet, or any of that. She’s not going to be the one who has to fix everything. It’s just going to be… Kathryn.”

“And you’re just going to be Chakotay?”

“Exactly.”

“You already _are_ just Chakotay.”

He threw her an exasperated glance. Was she being dense on purpose? By the glint in her eyes, she was, and having a great time doing it.

“Hopefully that’ll be enough,” he muttered and Takayla’s face fell when she realized she had unwittingly touched a sore spot.

“You will be. You _are._ And I’m not just saying that because you’re my brother and you’ve been fixing up my house.”

Chakotay’s smile returned to his lips. “Thanks.”

“Still,” she said as she pushed to her feet and held out her hand to help him up, “if I were you, I’d just take her to the opera.”

Chakotay chuckled again, though he had to say, it wasn’t a bad idea. Both he and Kathryn knew he wasn’t particularly good at the things his people had long taken for granted, but if he wanted to impress her (which, deep down, he always had), perhaps he should think about a back-up plan. Just in case.

oooOooo


	21. Chapter 21

Kathryn looked around her as she made her way to the doorstep of Takayla’s house.

The snow had melted since she had last stood in that very same spot, and though it was still crisp, there was something of spring in the scent of the wind blowing across the plateau. But now she remembered what Chakotay had told her, that it was warmer where they were going. She looked out in the distance, as if she could see beyond the horizon. It was a clear, beautiful day, and she noticed for the first time the dark outline of mountains in the distance. Even though it was her second time here, she was still struck by the rough majesty of the landscape around her.

When she reached the doorstep, she paused, gathering her nerves. As she stood there, she couldn’t help but compare her current nervousness with the feelings she had felt a few weeks ago.

At the time she had been nervous to be standing there too. She’d been deeply worried about her reception here, and about Chakotay’s fate. She had been confused about his relationship with Seven and his words that it had been doomed to fail.

But the nervousness that Kathryn felt now was entirely different. It was born of anticipation and impatience and excitement. And though the independent and the admittedly rusty part of her that had grown used to being in a relationship was still skittish at the thought of exposing herself so completely to someone else, to take that step and lay her heart out, it wasn’t all-encompassing anymore. The knowledge that Chakotay still had feelings for her, that he may well have never stopped having feelings for her, that they would be in this together, helped her get over any doubts she might have had.

The sound of footfalls crunching against gravelly ground behind her made Kathryn pause and look over her shoulder.

Chakotay paused mid-step where he stood a short distance away, evidently surprised to find her standing on the paved path to the house. “Hi,” he greeted while he recovered. His breath came out in a white puff of mist. He was dressed for the weather, and his cheeks and ears were a little rosy from the cold. Then his face brightened into a wide smile. Dimple and white teeth and twinkly eyes, this smile had it all.

Grinning, Kathryn dropped her bag and lunged forward, retracing her steps toward him, her eyes locked with his. He stepped forward to meet her halfway, pulling on his gloves to free his hands as he strode forward.

Good, because Kathryn had a sudden urge to feel his touch on her skin.

She didn’t slow down when she reached him, but instead threw herself against him and her arms around his neck. She had dreamed of doing that ever since he’d been escorted off Voyager – a lifetime ago it seemed – and she was determined to make up for missed opportunities. He actually staggered back from the impact and Kathryn felt him chuckle as he secured his footing. Then his arms went around her too, holding her tightly against him. She breathed him in, burying her face in his collar. His warmth and scent surrounded her and she couldn’t quite hold in a sigh. How could she have ever thought she only felt friendship for this man, when it was clear that she could barely bear being separated from him even for a few days?

He touched her hair and Kathryn pulled back to look into his eyes. She wanted to kiss him. Desperately.

His lips twisted in his trademark teasing smirk. “So I take it that you finally got-”

She didn’t let him finish whatever mischief had been about to pass those lips. Instead she pulled him down to her and kissed him hungrily, with all the pent-up passion that she’d accumulated recently. His skin and his nose were cold against hers, but his breath and his lips were warm and seductive against hers, and then against her chin. Her hand came up to touch his cool cheek, enjoying the beginning of stubble she found there, and they pulled back.

His eyes were like embers, dark but shimmering with a strange spark, pulling her in. He tightened his hold on her briefly before they pulled back. “I thought I’d be picking you up from the terminal. Was your trip okay?” He asked, some serious concern seeping into his tone.

She smiled at his thoughtfulness. “We got in early so I decided to surprise you. The trip was fine. Remarkably uneventful. I was even able to get some sleep at last!”

“Good,” he acknowledged as his warm gaze traveled over her face, “you never got enough rest, when we were on Voyager.” He fell silent, and Kathryn wondered whether he was thinking about the fact that he wouldn’t set foot on the ship again. She certainly was. He shook his head, his smile returning, as he tugged on her hand. “Let’s go inside, it seems I haven’t quite re-acclimated to the cold yet. And I know Takayla and Nimkotay are eager to see you.”

Over the next few hours, Kathryn was pampered with attention from Chakotay and his family. They gave her coffee and food and a warm fire to sit by as they conversed about what they’d been up to since they’d last seen each other. It was good to see them again. Takayla was a changed woman from the first day they had met – she still had a sarcastic sense of humor, but her eyes now twinkled with lively wit and happiness. Hours into their conversation, they all had dinner together. Kathryn would often meet Chakotay’s eyes across the table, seeing how pleased he was that they could all sit like this. The subdued gravity that had slouched his shoulders slightly since his arrest and trial was now replaced with quiet merriment and… peace. Warmth suffused inside her at the sight of him looking so at ease. She had always found him attractive, but there was something about him now, as he smiled, teased and laughed, that enthralled her. It was in the twinkle of his eyes, in the dimpled smiles, in the way the candlelight turned his skin into bronze, and in the deep looks he sent her way whenever he felt her gaze on him.

She longed for some moments alone with him, but Kathryn was happy to rein in her impatience if it meant spending another hour listening to Chakotay’s banter with his sister. The two made for a remarkable duo, and Kathryn smiled to herself imagining what it must have been like when they were children.

Kathryn had expected that they’d all have a quiet night in, so she was surprised when Chakotay announced he had plans for the two of them, that he was taking her somewhere – that is if she wasn’t too tired from her journey. Now burning with curiosity, Kathryn had reassured him that she was fine, so he had tactfully suggested that she changed into something more formal – but no Starfleet uniform. So Kathryn had gone to change in the guest room where he’d dropped her bags earlier. Honestly, she hadn’t brought any formal wear (weren’t they supposed to go camping?) so she pulled out the nicest dress she had with her. She freshened up and applied a touch of makeup to her face. It would have to do.

When they met again in the living room, Chakotay had changed as well, and was now wearing a dark suit. He smiled when he saw her, then offered his arm.

As they made their way, Kathryn was bursting with curiosity. She asked him countless times where it was he was taking her, but he didn’t budge, grinning at her instead, greatly enjoying her torment. At last they entered into some sort of theater in the heart of the largest agglomeration near his childhood home. He had her close her eyes before they went any further, and even covered her eyes with his hands as he carefully led her forward. He led her down a set of wide steps, and eventually had her settle down into a chair. There were people all around her, chatting and laughing. Was that _Italian_ she was hearing?

“Can I open my eyes now?” She asked again, grinning in excitement.

“Not quite yet,” she felt his breath against her cheek and she turned into him instinctively.

And then the brightness dimmed, the voices hushed, and Chakotay removed his hand from her eyes. Kathryn opened them.

And gasped.

They weren’t in just any theater, but sitting in the box of a richly furnished and old-fashioned concert hall or opera house, lit only by candlelight and a large chandelier that hung low from the ceiling. Below them, between the first rows and the stage, the orchestra musicians tuned their instruments, there was a pause, and then…

The sound of trumpets playing the first poignant notes of Giuseppe Verdi’s Nabucco traveled to her ears – and straight into her heart.

Chakotay was watching her expression intently, as if trying to decipher what she made of his surprise. She stared at him in wonder, then looked around her. Everyone was dressed beautifully – if rather old fashionably – while the splendor of the opera house caught her unawares.

“Where are we?” She whispered into his ear to be heard amid the notes of grand overture.

He grinned, pleased with her reaction. “La Scala, Milan, 1842. The world premiere of this opera. Well,” he corrected with a small rueful shrug, “a holographic representation, at least.”

Her heart swelled and she grasped his hand tightly, lacing their fingers as she returned her attention to the stage.

The performance was magical, just as the premiere of this opera in Milan must have been, back in 1842. And though it was a holodeck program, Kathryn got so into it that she stood to applause with the rest of the holographic crowd at the end, tears of emotion pooling in her eyes. Kathryn was touched beyond reason when they exited the room and walked back into the lobby. Chakotay went to speak to the holoprogramer, shaking his hand, before he returned to her side.

“You did all this,” Kathryn stated as she took his arm again, staring up at his profile in wonder.

“Well, not single-handedly. Did you enjoy it?”

“Did I enjoy it?” She repeated emotionally. “Chakotay that was- it was beautiful. Thank you.” She threw a look over her shoulder as they exited through the main doors. “I didn’t realize you had a holodeck, here,” she commented.

“Oh yes. We have electricity too, you know.”

She slapped his arm affectionately and he chuckled good-humoredly in response. “It’s not what I meant.”

“I know. Actually, for many years during the war this holodeck was mostly used as a training facility. Let’s just say that, when I asked the technicians about putting together a 19th-century opera performance, they were a little rusty on programing something so… non-lethal.”

Kathryn grinned as she snuggled into his side more closely. “Well it was wonderful, I never would have guessed.”

“Good.”

They discussed the performance some more as they made their way back to Takayla’s house, sharing their favorite moments, and speculating on whether there was any historical truth to the 19th-century Italians using the Chorus of the Hebrew Slaves as a symbol of independence in the face of the Austrian empire.

Everything was quiet back at the house by the time they returned, so Chakotay and Kathryn settled in the living room, enjoying the warmth and hypnotizing dance of the fire in the fireplace. At last she was able to tell him about her visit with her family, and he told her about how humbled he’d been to see so many of the community members come to welcome him home. She told him about her brief reunion with Mark, and though he tensed slightly when she first mentioned her ex-fiancé’s name, she quickly told him every detail of the conversation, as well as her impressions of it, to assuage any of his concerns. Because _this_ was where she belonged now. Sitting snuggly next to him. She asked him about his childhood favorite spots, and he promised to take her there in the morning, on their way to the foot of the mountains.

It was the last thing she heard before she fell asleep, tucked against his side.

~~0~~

When Kathryn next opened her eyes, she found herself in an unfamiliar bed, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. She blinked, and then recalled that she was in Takayla’s guest room. She was still fully dressed, and Kathryn smiled ruefully as she realized Chakotay must have carried her here last night. It was a miracle that she hadn’t woken up at all – or a testament to how safe and carefree she felt here, with him. It occurred to her that he never would have done something like that as her first officer. Though it felt natural and familiar to get closer to him, they were truly entering uncharted territory here. The explorer in her felt a thrill of excitement at the thought.

After taking care of her morning routine, Kathryn followed the sound of soft voices to the kitchen. She found Chakotay standing behind the counter and Nim sitting across from him.

“Safety kit,” Nimkotay said, reading from a list.

“Check,” Chakotay replied as he put a small box inside a larger crate.

“Water replicator.”

“Got it.”

Kathryn smiled at the picture they were making, and Chakotay looked up at the sound of her feet against the tiles. He smiled in greeting and watched as Kathryn went to sit next to Nim at the counter, not wanting to interrupt their task.

“Coffee,” Nim listed before he gave Kathryn a smile.

Chakotay winked at her as he grabbed the coffee and put it into the crate. “Check. Wouldn’t want to forget that one.”

“Plates, cups and utensils.”

“Check.”

“That’s it, Uncle,” Nim declared as he looked up from the list. He stood to his feet and went to hug Chakotay’s side briefly. “Have a nice trip!”

“Thanks for your help, Nim. Now you better run off because your mom will have my head if I make you late for school.”

Nimkotay nodded, grinning, as he hurried to pick up his bag from the floor. “Bye Captain!”

“Bye Nim!” Smiling, Kathryn returned her attention to Chakotay as he closed the crate and put it on the floor. When he straightened he leaned over the counter to meet her eyes, a twinkle of happiness in his eyes. It was an enthralling sight. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Kathryn replied, unable to tear her eyes away from his, loving the way his hair was a little ruffled, as if he’d just woken up.

With a quick smile, he leaned closer and Kathryn met him halfway for a gentle kiss. It was chaste enough, and yet it still managed to curl her toes.

“I slept in,” she commented, incredulous – and a little guiltily.

“You did,” he agreed, smiling.

“It felt as wonderful as I remembered, but you could have woken me up.”

He shook his head. “No need, we’re not in a hurry, are we?”

“I suppose not. It’s strange, not having that constant tug in my stomach, urging me to find a way to get home. It’s strange not having anything specific to do at all,” she admitted.

Chakotay smiled as he pushed himself off the counter. “You do know that _is_ the definition of a vacation, right?”

She chuckled. “It’s been so long, I guess I must have forgotten!”

He grinned. “Breakfast?”

He set to work. Kathryn enjoyed watching him work around the kitchen as they talked about unimportant things, like how well she slept, or the plans for the day. They had agreed that night they had sat together in San Francisco that they would start by driving to the foothills to set up camp, and then, weather permitting, they would go exploring the river with kayaks. They would bring food with them to eat on the way, and they would then return to their base camp before dark.

When they were done with breakfast and coffee, they packed the rover and Chakotay made sure the trailer with the kayaks was secure. At that point Takayla exited the house to go to work and she checked Chakotay’s work before giving them a mischievous smile. “Have fun, and do try not to get the captain lost, Chak,” she teased.

“Very funny.” Chakotay replied.

And then Chakotay and Kathryn drove off. Kathryn sent him a teasing glance from the passenger seat. “You do know where we’re going, right?”

He smiled, his eyes twinkling as he briefly looked away from the road to glance at her. Yet Kathryn’s breath hitched in her throat at the seriousness behind his teasing expression when he spoke. “The only thing I know is where I’d like us to be, Kathryn… but as for finding the road to get there, I don’t think it’s something I can or should do on my own. Not without a copilot.”

Kathryn smiled at his innuendo, knowing full well that he wasn’t talking about the road, but about _their_ future. She reached out to touch his shoulder and neck. “Well then, better set a course, Chakotay. I’m told I’m actually decent at finding my way home.”

He grinned, and shifted gears.

~~0~~

“Chakotay, look!”

Chakotay stopped paddling, letting his kayak drift with the current, as he looked in the direction Kathryn was pointing at. A stag-like creature was peacefully drinking from the river a few meters downstream from their position.

Chakotay smiled at the expression of wonder on Kathryn’s face. She had stopped paddling her kayak as well, her double paddle resting across her knees. This had been a great idea, Chakotay decided. It was a beautiful sunny day, and as expected, the weather was much warmer here, and the natural beauties of his childhood home seemed to come and greet them as they paddled their way down the river. And Kathryn seemed to be enjoying herself, adjusting to the relaxed tempo of their exploration much better than he’d expected for someone so used to being busy all the time, and to doing things on a schedule.

“It’s such a… proud-looking animal.” She turned her head to look at him. “Are there many of them on the planet?”

Chakotay nodded, bending forward a little to rest his arm on his knees. “Thousands, I would say. Folks in town hunt them.” At her horrified expression he clarified. “For food, mostly.”

“Of course I understand, but it always makes me sad to think about that.” She tilted her head as she lifted her paddle again. “Have you ever hunted them?”

“My father used to take me when I was a kid, but I’ve always hated it. I think that’s what made me into a vegetarian.” Chakotay straightened and resumed paddling.

There was a pause.

“A vegetarian? Now you wait a second!”

Chakotay grinned to himself, but kept on going, forcing her to catch up to him.

“Since when have you been a vegetarian, Chakotay?” She asked from behind him.

“Oh I’d say 30 years, at least.” Chakotay bit back his grin as he twisted in his kayak to look at her. She looked mortified.

“So, all these times I cooked you a roast… you decided it was a good idea not to say anything.”

“You _were_ my captain, I wasn’t about to criticize your cooking. Especially not the one thing you could actually make.” He tilted his head as he considered it. “Well, when you didn’t burn it, that is.” She made a face at his teasing, and he grinned. “Besides,” he added as he paused so she could catch up to him. “It was replicated, I knew no animal had been killed in the process.”

She shook her head incredulously as she studied him. “What else haven’t you been telling me, all those years? We’ve already covered the dancing, anything else you’d like to get off your chest?”

In spite of her joking tone, Chakotay couldn’t help it, his grin faltered. He looked away to recover. The river current had started to increase somewhat, he knew they were close to the spot he’d been wanting to show her.

“Chakotay.”

He sighed before looking at her. Her expression had lost its teasing edge as well, and she was looking at him with that vulnerable expression that had always gripped at his heart.

“Why didn’t you tell me about you and Seven?” She asked, her voice just loud enough to carry over the sound of flowing water.

Chakotay sighed again. “Cowardice?” He suggested before he shook his head. “I suppose I dreaded your reaction. And I suppose, I felt guilty.”

She frowned. “Why? You have every right to be happy. If being with Seven had made you happy, I would have understood. Or tried to.”

Chakotay shook his head. “But it didn’t. I fooled myself into believing I was happy for a while, but it didn’t last very long. And I felt guilty, because… Because I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, Kathryn, and even though I never expected you to return my feelings, a part of me felt I was betraying you. Betraying both of us. And I was terrified of seeing that look on your face.” Chakotay let out a humorless chuckle. “The one that’s on your face right now.”

She shook her head as if to shake off her pained expression and looked down at her lap. Chakotay bit his lips, searching for the words that would take them back to the easy camaraderie and light flirting that had characterized their interactions so far. Chakotay directed his kayak nearer to the bank. This would be a good spot to disembark.

“Well,” she started again, suddenly, and Chakotay was surprised to find a small smile tug at one corner of her mouth. She threw him a look as her kayak glided next to his. “I suppose you weren’t the only one hiding things.”

Chakotay frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“My feelings for you. I never told you I love you either.”

Chakotay smiled, locking eyes with hers. “No. You sure didn’t.”

While he was distracted his kayak hit the sandy riverbank and screeched to an abrupt halt, almost making Chakotay topple sideways. When he looked up at Kathryn again – as she slid her kayak gracefully next to his and disembarked – she looked all too pleased with herself, and he grinned. And just like that, they were back.

“Why are we stopping?” She asked as they pulled their kayaks further up the riverbank. He grabbed the bags with their food with one hand and interlaced her fingers with the other.

“You’ll see.”

“Is that another one of your surprises?”

“You could say that,” Chakotay replied mysteriously as he led her along the river.

He could still recall her expression when he’d shown her the first of his “surprises” earlier. Every time they had spoken about this camping trip, he had purposefully downplayed the level of comfort of their accommodations – to enhance the surprise – so she definitely had not expected that their “camping” would in fact entail sleeping within the comforts of his family’s cabin, with a view on the river.

So Chakotay had been delighted to see the look of pure delight as he’d given her a quick tour of the place. He had worked on it a little over the last few days to make sure everything was in working order. And Kathryn had looked pleased (and more than a little relieved when she saw it had all the conveniences of a house). Chakotay had seen the hunger and anticipation in her eyes, but he’d playfully ignored it, reminding her of their plans to explore the river before dark just as she’d been about to kiss him. It had taken every ounce of willpower to tear his gaze away, and the knowledge that she wanted him had made it very hard for him to concentrate on anything else. But he wanted to take his time. He wanted to seduce her, not just her body, but her mind too. He had waited a long time for moments like these, for just the simple opportunities of spending uninterrupted time with her, and he wanted to enjoy it all.

As the path took them a little inland and into the woods, Kathryn pestered him with questions about their destination. _You can’t stand it, can you? You’re like a little kid, wiggling._ Chakotay grinned at the memory. At last their path curved toward the river again, and Chakotay helped her down as they climbed down suddenly steeper terrain. The roar of water was the first hint, but it was only when they reached the edge of the river and the vegetation cleared that Kathryn stopped before the view, and beamed.

“Oh, this is beautiful.”

The waterfall was a few meters high, but very wide, and the water gathered into a series of turquoise pools at its feet. Little rainbows sparkled in the mist created by the rising of water particles into the air, and colorful insects buzzed around the tall grasses and flowers along the edges.

“What are you doing?”

Chakotay flashed her a grin as he finished removing his boots and socks, rolled up his pants, then pulled his shirt over his head. He bit back a smirk as her eyes fell to his chest before she averted her eyes. When he was ready, he grabbed their bags of provisions and stepped carefully onto a submerged, flat, stone. The water was cold around his feet, but not numbing. It was like he’d remembered it.

He extended his hand. She looked at it for one long second, and Chakotay wiggled his fingers teasingly.

“Is that part of your surprise, too?” She drawled.

Chakotay just raised his eyebrows, challenging, his hand still reaching out for her to take.

“It’s too cold, what if we get hypothermia?”

He chuckled. “I’ll build us a fire afterwards,” he countered. Besides, he’d made sure she’d brought a change of clothes precisely for this occasion. Though if all went well she wouldn’t even get her clothes wet.

“Yes, but will you be able to start it?” She deadpanned.

“Ouch,” he replied in mock pain at the reference, and she chuckled. He could tell she was starting to sway.

“There’s gotta be lots of leech-like creatures in there!” She argued, still chuckling, her last attempt.

“Only little ones,” it was Chakotay’s turn to deadpan, straight-faced. Her expression was priceless, and he couldn’t hold the laughter back. “And you call yourself an explorer.”

“Fine!” The way she was fighting a smile belied her reluctant tone. She removed her shoes, socks, rolled up her pants to her knees, and removed her long-sleeved shirt and used the sleeves to tie it around her waist. Chakotay tried not to stare at the sight of her barefoot and in a tank top (he’d failed to account for the fact that two could play that game…). She took his hand at last and Chakotay gripped it securely. He didn’t want her to fall or injure herself on the slippery rocks.

He led her on a path of submerged stones leading directly toward the waterfall. He felt her pause when they neared the rushing wall of water, but he tugged on her hand reassuringly. And just like that she kept on following him, trusting him. On the last stone before they hit the rocky wall of the waterfall he paused and turned to help her step onto it. This brought her close, infinitely close, and his breath caught in his throat as their eyes met. She was giving him that hungry look again and her cool hands came to rest at his waist. Chakotay swallowed against the rush of excitement that coursed through him. But instead of giving in, he smiled and stepped back as much as the stone allowed and reached out his arm through the water, making it splash against his face, searching for…

Yes! The setup he had built a long time ago was still in place. He pulled on the rope and a sturdy plank of wood appeared from behind the water curtain, diverting the water and creating a dry passage underneath the waterfall. Behind it was a large cave, and Kathryn gave him an astounded look before he urged her along. He stepped in first then turned to help her up. It was cool and dry inside and he quickly rubbed his arm and hair to get dry as best he could. He grinned at Kathryn’s surprised expression while he put his shirt back on.

“How did you know this was here?”

Chakotay set the bags down and knelt to pull out their food items, laying them out on the piece of cloth he had brought. “I used to come here before I joined the Academy. It was the only place I felt comfortable reading all those Starfleet manuals. It was here I prepared for the entrance tests, away from anyone who disapproved.” Including his father.

Kathryn nodded as she walked around, reaching out a hand to touch the rocky walls, as if she could touch history itself. _His_ history.

“When I was in that cell,” Chakotay said as he opened a bottle of a local fermented beverage, forcing his tone to be conversational, cheerful, even, to show that he had started moving on from that experience, “uncertain whether I would ever see the light of day again, I couldn’t shake away those two regrets...”

Kathryn listened with a curious smile, though it had a hint of sadness too.

“The first one was that I would never see this place again,” he said as he looked around, smiling fondly at the way the sunlight filtering through made the water curtain glimmer, or the way the reflected light bounced on the dark walls of the cave and across Kathryn’s face and hair. “I’ve never shown it to anyone before.”

“No one?” She asked, her incredulity hiding some deeper emotion.

He held her gaze. “No.” He cocked his head. “Well, aside from a girl or two.” She gave him an exasperated look and he grinned, pulling on the bottle stopper to open it. “I’m joking. This was my fortress of solitude. No girl was allowed here,” he went on, straight-faced, as if it was too obvious to even mention.

“Clearly you’ve changed your mind. I’m honored,” she replied in amusement.

“Oh I’m bending the rules, here, Kathryn. Just for you,” he continued teasingly, enjoying her smile. “You’ve always had that power over me, you see,” he explained as he poured them both glasses. “To make me want to improve myself. To be worthy of your approval, and your friendship. When I first met you, I remember thinking, ‘if we ever make it back, I’ll show Captain Janeway my cave.’ That’s how long I’ve known you were special, that you would have a central role to play in my life. And here we are.”

“Here we are.” She agreed, her smile a little watery, as she took the proffered glass. “And the second regret?”

He studied her for a moment, the curve of her eyebrows, the beautiful blue of her eyes, the lock of hair that refused to stay behind her ear, and the small smudge of dirt on her cheek that made her look all the more endearing because – just like he’d told his sister – this was just Kathryn. Not Captain Janeway, but _Kathryn_. Chakotay reached out to gently wipe it away with the pad of his thumb. “That I never told you how I felt. Back in the cell, all I could think about was what a mess I’d made of things. With the whole Maquis thing, but also with Seven. I’m deeply sorry that I hurt you. You’re not supposed to hurt those you love.”

She let out a small sigh, her brows furrowed in a pained expression. “It did hurt at first, I can’t deny that. But mostly because I didn’t understand.” She raised her eyes to his again. “But I would have tried to let you go. If you’d asked me to.”

Chakotay let a wry smile touch his lips. “Somehow I don’t think I was ever in danger of doing that.” Shifting so he was facing her, he raised his glass. “Here’s to you not giving up on me.”

She replied with a smile of her own. “Here’s to you not asking me to.”

He chuckled softly and they clinked.

“Which reminds me,” he started again after they’d taken a sip, “I’ve been meaning to give this back to you.” He set down his glass to rummage through his bag. “I should have given it to you before I left, but I forgot,” he explained as he handed her the book.

Dante’s Divine Comedy.

She met his eyes again briefly before taking it. She smiled as she opened it and her fingers slid over random pages.

“I’ve kept your note,” he told her, a little sheepishly.

Her smile widened. “I intended you to. I hope the book was of some comfort to you,” she added as her hand caressed the creases on the cover.

He exhaled. “It was. To know that you were out there, trying to get me out of that mess….” He smiled. “My very own Beatrice, showing me the way out of hell and into heaven.”

She shook her head at his teasing, either to dismiss the compliment or to shake the memory of his trial away he couldn’t tell. She put the book into her bag distractedly. “The thought of you being taken away from me…” She shook her head again. “I couldn’t fathom it. It was beyond my ability to bear.”

Chakotay was moved by her disclosure, but he forced a teasing smile to his lips. “I believe it, you were ready to drop me off on some planet!”

She snorted and chuckled, then gave him an apologetic look. “Not my finest hour.”

Chakotay grinned, genuinely this time. “Oh I disagree, it was quite touching.”

She laughed and Chakotay resumed laying out their picnic on the cloth he’d brought to that effect. After a while of watching him work, she looked at him again.

“By the way, I did as you suggested. I’ve stepped away from Larks’ investigation. You were right,” she continued as she swirled the contents of her glass distractedly. “I’ve done my part. Now it’s up to Starfleet to decide what will happen to him.”

“Good. How did it feel? To let that go?”

She gave a lopsided grin as she considered. “Pretty damn good, actually. Liberating. I hadn’t realized how much it weighed on me until you said it.”

Chakotay’s lips tugged upward. “I believe you, I can practically feel those tensions leave you even from here!” He teased. Though he really _had_ noticed how she had slowly relaxed over the last 24 hours. She had slept so soundly last night that she hadn’t even stirred when he had carried her to the guest room.

“That’s too bad,” she retorted, straight-faced, but her eyes lighting up with her typical teasing expression, “I was rather hoping you’d give me one of those legendary shoulder rubs.”

Chakotay almost spilled his glass of wine when his hand suddenly misjudged the distance to his plate. He threw her an embarrassed glance to check whether she had noticed.

Obviously she had. She leaned closer and patted his shoulder teasingly. “That’s payback,” she told him archly. “For the shirt.” Her hand stilled against his shoulder, suddenly reminding them both of how easily desire seemed to spark between them now that they allowed it. He met her eyes as her fingers trailed down from his shoulder to his arm, her touch feather light, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

Chakotay caught her hand, his eyes locking with hers. The intense look in her eyes pulled him in despite of his best intentions, and he found himself glancing at her parted lips. And then something opened up inside him and he bridged the distance to kiss her hungrily, the kind of kiss that they had been building up to since their first kiss; a kiss born out of years of unacknowledged desire. She responded with a moan and Chakotay kneeled up to better pull her closer. She matched his position, and wound her arms around his neck as her lips opened to his. He was lost in her taste and her scent and the feel of her. Of their own volition, his hands trailed down her sides to wander beneath the hem of her tank top and her shiver rippled through her so powerfully he felt it. In retaliation, with her mouth still caressing and teasing his, her hand suddenly moved down his chest to work on the first button of his shirt. He pulled back to catch her hand before it traveled any further.

Despite the voice that shouted to him he was the stupidest man that had ever lived to stop her now, this was not how he wanted their first time to go. So, panting heavily, he met her eyes, dark and dazed with desire, and smiled. “Not here. Cabin.”

Breathing just as hard as he was, she grinned at his lack of eloquence, but nodded. With more willpower than he knew he had, he stood and helped her up. He couldn’t help stealing another kiss before he pulled back to gather their things hurriedly. Chuckling now, she bent down to help him and they shared a look as they threw the rest of their food back into their bags. When they were done, Chakotay helped her out of the cave and they retraced their steps as quickly as they dared on the slippery stones. At one point Chakotay almost slipped, but he recovered his balance when she caught his arm with both her hands. They shared another look (half-amused half-annoyed with the slow pace) before moving on. It wasn’t long before they reached their kayaks, and still laughing at the silliness of their situation, they jumped into their respective embarkations.

Chakotay had never paddled so fast in his life, and though going upstream slowed them down a bit, they still made it back to the cabin in half the time it had taken them to reach the waterfall.

When they were done pulling the kayaks up the small landing area, they gravitated toward each other again, and their lips clashed as soon as they were within reach. They picked up where they had left off and Chakotay groaned when her cool and slightly wet fingers resumed working on his buttons.

“Are you trying to keep me from taking this inside on purpose?” He chuckled, but then he groaned again when their lips parted just long enough for her to push his shirt off his arms. Chakotay started walking backward, their locked lips pulling her along with him.

A low chuckle passed her lips and reverberated through her chest. “I don’t know, am I?” She panted, her breath hot against his chin just before her lips left his to trail down to his neck.

“I guess you’re about to find out,” he croaked as he pulled back long enough to bend down and fling her over his shoulder like a potato sack. She yelped in surprise and laughed as Chakotay bridged the last few meters to the porch and made his way up the stairs and through the door, grinning.

As soon as they were inside the cabin, he set her down gently and pulled her to him again. Still grinning in exhilaration, she raised her hands to touch his head, digging her fingers into his hair.

“Good thing I’m not your captain anymore, I could have had you walk the plank for such impropriety,” she teased.

He grinned, though he felt the truth of her statement – the first part of it, in any case. “Good thing, indeed.”

“Very good thing,” she whispered. And then she kissed him again.

ooooOoooo

Kathryn found Chakotay outside, already dressed and standing on the cabin porch, his back to the door and his shoulder leaning against the beam in a relaxed stance. The sunrise was amazingly beautiful, and she understood why he’d left the warmth of their bed to come and greet it.

Quietly leaning against the doorframe, wearing her robe against the morning chill, she took a sip of her coffee, just watching him watch the sunrise.

To think that just a few days ago she had known nothing of the deep sense of peace that being with Chakotay could bring her. As his captain she had barely allowed herself to fantasize, so it was only recently, as she had realized the depth of her feelings and they had grown closer, that she had really started to really wonder what it would be like to break down those barriers. The fun, exhilaration and satisfaction parts – she had expected. But never in her wildest dream could she have imagined such fulfillment, too. Not only physical fulfillment, but spiritual too. Sex with Chakotay felt like a communion, a way for their souls or their spirits – or whatever you wanted to call that part of their consciousness– to communicate beyond words. Even now, as she studied the backlit outline of his silhouette, she could feel the tug inside her, as if they were now linked together by an invisible bond. Never in a million years could the pragmatist and scientist in her have imagined that something like this was even possible. And she wanted to spend the rest of her life continuing that conversation, that journey toward discovery, with him. She wondered how in the world, how in the _universe_ , she had not recognized his true worth and the depth of their connection before. Though, all things considered, her ignorance had probably been a blessing back on Voyager.

But how the hell was she going to cope with being away from him when she returned to Voyager and he was forced to stay behind? She sighed softly.

“Trying to stop the sun from rising with your mind, are you?” She teased quietly as she pushed herself from the doorway to join him. Just a few hours before, he had said something about a part of him not wanting their trip to end. She had agreed wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, she was already expected back on Earth. And though she cherished every moment she spent here with Chakotay, away from her worries, she knew she couldn’t avoid them forever. Besides, a part of her was still eager to recover Voyager from Simon Stedvak.

Chakotay chuckled, the soft sound diffusing warmth all over her heart. He sent her a sly look as she stepped next to him. “You know, there _is_ someone with the power to do just that, and he happens to owe you a couple of favors, as I recall.”

She raised her hand to stop him. “Ah! Don’t say his name out loud,” she warned teasingly and she leaned her head toward him to lower her voice, “he might actually show up, like some wicked, magical creature that appears when its name is spoken. I don’t want him anywhere near this,” she added as she gestured between the two of them.

He chuckled again as his arm went around her to pull her closer into his side. “Fair enough.” He shifted to better face her. “In that case, I guess we’ll just have to accept the coming of dawn as mere mortals do.” He leaned down to kiss her lips softly.

She raised an eyebrow when they pulled back. “Not bad at all for mere mortals.” She returned her gaze to the landscape, the yellow sunrays bouncing off the surface of the river, the slight mist that lingered along the river’s edges.

“What were you thinking about just now?” She asked curiously as she peered up at his profile, the tattoo that had become such an integral part of his identity.

“Just taking it all in, I guess. It feels good to be back here. As a kid I would have much preferred to stay at home and look at my well-used books about Earth’s space exploration program than come out here. But now I’m glad I was able to make my peace with this place.” He turned his face to look at her. “You being here has made it all so much easier.”

A cold hand of fear touched her heart for a moment. “Have you decided what you want to do?” She asked, unable to keep her sudden concern that he would want to stay here from making her voice shake slightly. Over the last few days, Chakotay had been silent about his thoughts on his future, and Kathryn had refrained from asking, not wanting to pester or pressure him. But now that the day of her return to Earth was upon them, she had to know.

“As a matter of fact, I have.” He stepped aside to half-sit against the porch wooden railing so that he could face her. “In fact my mind’s been made up for a while. I’m going back to Earth with you.”

Kathryn fought the urge to sigh at the wave of relief that coursed through her.

“Before you joined me here,” he went on seriously, “I sent out my application for exoarchaeology programs in most of the higher education centers in San Francisco. With my past and my discharge from Starfleet I expect some difficulties getting in, but I’ve already garnered Admiral Hayes’ promise of a good reference, should I need it to get admitted.”

Kathryn raised her eyebrows in surprise as she processed his words. “Admitted? You want to attend as a student?”

He gave a nod, his expression serious. That’s when she realized that he hadn’t told her sooner because he had been dreading her reaction. As if that would change anything of her feelings, or her wishes for the future! As if that could make her think any less of him! It was actually quite the opposite!

“If I really want to be an archaeologist and a teacher,” he explained, “I have to get some professional training first. Hopefully I can speed through the program, what with my experience in the Delta Quadrant and the credits I accumulated when I was at the Academy.”

Kathryn stared at him in wonder, impressed by his bravery. To start over…! “If they could see even half of what I’ve always seen in you, Chakotay, they’d be idiots not to take you in, with or without a reference.”

“Thank you.” He cocked his head to study her curiously. “You’re not weirded out by this?”

She let out a small chuckle. “No.” She stepped up to him. With him sitting she had to tilt her head down slightly to meet his eyes. “In fact, how many Starfleet captains can boast they’re dating a college student?”

He laughed as he pulled her closer with his hands on her waist, his fingers hooking under the sash of her robe in a promise (or a delightful threat?) to untie it soon. “I didn’t realize that was something worth boasting about,” he teased as he tilted back his head to better meet her eyes. He pulled gently on her sash to bring her closer. “Does it follow that _I_ get to boast of dating a Starfleet captain?”

“That would only be fair,” she replied good-naturedly, enjoying this banter.

His expression shifted ever so slightly, becoming almost shy when he next spoke. “And how about if that same student, hypothetically speaking, boasted of being _married_ to a Starfleet captain? Would that be something the captain in question would be willing to consider?”

Her eyes widened slightly, but her mischievous smile only deepened. She knew he wasn’t proposing, not really, not _yet,_ and admittedly she was grateful that he asked for her opinion before actually landing the question. That way it wasn’t a unilateral decision on his part, but something they would work out together. When the time was right.

“Oh I’d say the odds are high,” she replied.

“Yeah?” His eyes twinkled.

“Very high.” She cocked her head in feigned consideration. “But then again, if the couple in question were to wait for a bit, he might even get to boast of being married to an _admiral_.”

“That does sound so much more impressive,” he agreed in the same tone, straight-faced. He slowly pushed himself off the railing and stood, stepping closer to her as he did.

“But until then…” She started again, her voice raspy to her own ears as she felt the warmth and strength of his body against hers, his fingers as they made slow work of her sash, and his breath against her chin. “And before we leave this place, isn’t there one last thing we’ve been meaning to explore a little more?”

He seemed a little confused – intrigued, but confused. “Was there?”

She nodded emphatically. “Oh yes. I believe it’s in the bedroom,” she told him with a pointed look.

His eyes flashed with a hunger she now knew very well. “I guess it couldn’t hurt to gather a little more data before we leave,” he agreed in the same tone. “It helps to be thorough.”

“Precisely.” Never leaving her eyes he took her hand, and she followed him inside.

ooooOoooo

_A/N: Finally!! ;-)_

_As a side note, I always thought it funny that Kathryn kept “burning the roast” for her weekly dinners with Chakotay, even though Neelix once told Harry that Chakotay was a vegetarian! In fact one of my favorite J/C scenes in the whole series is when Chakotay finds Kathryn sitting on the floor with her replicator taken apart in Shattered (incidentally my favorite episode), and her line about once calling the replicator a glorified toaster... Anyway, it’s probably one of those small inconsistencies that often creep through in long-running series, especially one with so many changes in the writing and executive producing teams, but I thought I would use it to my advantage here and have some fun with it!_


	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, here we are folks, the epilogue! Thank you all for your patience, I hope the conclusion has been worth the angst and my overall wordiness!
> 
> I’d like to give special thanks to everyone who has commented, kudoed and subscribed! I mostly worked on this story over the summer and for some reason I struggled quite a bit with it, so it’s incredibly rewarding to know that there’s still a vibrant community of writers-readers in the STV-J/C fandom who have enjoyed the journey! And knowing that at least some people enjoyed it definitely makes up for the numerous writer’s blocks and rewrites! 
> 
> So without further delay, I hope you enjoy…

**Chapter 22: Epilogue**

“What time are you meeting B’Elanna and Tom?” Chakotay asked as he poured freshly brewed coffee into two mugs.

Though he had officially settled in only a few days before, Chakotay was already comfortable around Kathryn’s kitchen – probably more so than she was, since he’d been doing most of the cooking since their return from his home planet. On their last day at the cabin, he had mentioned in plans of getting a place of his own in San Francisco, and she had given him a puzzled look, her hands stilling on either side of her suitcase.

“ _What in the world for?”_ She had asked, and Chakotay had smiled.

_“I didn’t want to just assume that I would be staying with you. We’re both independent people, I thought you might need your space for a time, while we… you know, adjusted.”_

She’d raised an eyebrow, her smile turning flirtatious. _“Oh I think we’ve_ adjusted _just fine.”_

And just like that, the decision that he would stay with her had been made. And if he pretended needing some additional convincing, she hadn’t seemed to mind postponing her packing for a bit longer.

In retrospect, it was hard to believe that he’d once held any doubts about somehow not being enough for her without the promise of a career in Starfleet. The confidence that she showed in _them,_ the tenderness reflected in her eyes, the words of love on her breath whispered in his ear in the throes of heat and passion… All of it had proven to him that he had underestimated her, and the depth of her feelings for him. He should have known better than doubt her, or himself. Relief was the only thing that had crossed her face when he had told her of his intention to go back to Earth with her, utterly uncaring about everything he had worried might come between them.

Their bond had only seemed to grown now that they were back in San Francisco, so that it now seemed the most natural thing in the world to be making breakfast in this kitchen with an incredible view on the Golden Gate Bridge (the perks of being a captain, he assumed), while Kathryn was getting dressed in the next room.

“Half an hour,” Kathryn replied to his question as she exited the bedroom, snapping the last buttons of her uniform in place. After spending the last few weeks with her away from anything Starfleet, there was something strange and a little bittersweet in watching her return to her Starfleet captain persona – her hair carefully styled, her eyes and lips highlighted with make-up, the professional bearing of her shoulders. But he had long known that he loved this part of her too. How could he not? Starfleet was second nature to her.

A couple of days after their return from his home planet, she had donned her uniform for the first time in a couple of weeks to go greet Seven and Voyager who had just then returned from their mission. Kathryn had come back enthused about the Resistance’s success, her future role in it, the Safe Haven Project, and Axum’s desire to bring the fight to the Alpha Quadrant once the Borg in the Beta Quadrant were no longer a threat. Chakotay had watched her excitement with mixed feelings; on one hand, he was truly happy for her that she would be restored to her rightful place on Voyager’s bridge, but on the other, he could already foresee just how much he would miss her and worry about her when she left on a new mission of her own. But he had always known this was how things would be, so it was best to stop anticipating and just enjoy every moment he did have with her. Besides, Chakotay was more than willing to suffer her absence if it meant that she was happy.

Chakotay handed her the black coffee and she smiled her gratitude before leaning in for a kiss. When she pulled back, Chakotay noticed the part of her collar that bore the pips was folded inside her uniform, so he straightened it. When he was done he met her eyes with a smile, and quickly touched the softness of her cheek with the back of his fingers.

“Careful, I might get used to you taking such good care of me,” she teased, squeezing his hand briefly.

Chakotay feigned some confusion. “I’m fairly sure that’s the plan.”

She chuckled briefly. “Are you sure you won’t reconsider joining us?” She asked as she made her way to the table, where Chakotay had laid out breakfast, taking a sip of coffee along the way.

“I’m sure,” Chakotay replied as he added two spoonful of sugar into his own mug. “Maybe I _should_ be there, but I feel it would be petty of me to show up, as if in triumph. But that’s not me. The hate was all on Larks’ side, and I don’t need to attend his hearing to make my peace with what happened.”

She threw him a glance as she sat at the table. Chakotay joined her. “Then I’ll be petty enough for the both of us. I’m afraid I can’t be as forgiving as you are where that man is concerned.”

Chakotay gave a small shrug. “It’s not so much forgiveness as… practiced indifference.”

“But aren’t you mad at him, even just a little bit?” She asked curiously as she buttered her piece of toast.

Chakotay smiled at her tone before he sighed. “No. I _was_ , though – when you told me how he had paid off Camilda and the others for their silence, or about his business ties to the Cardassians. I can’t forgive him for sympathizing with the Cardassians when they were terrorizing my people and countless others. But, I’m trying to put it all behind me.”

Moved, she reached out to touch his hand. “And that’s why you’re much stronger than I am about all this.”

“Besides, even if I wanted to attend,” he added when she pulled back her hand, “you know I have a meeting with the chair of anthropology at Cochrane University this afternoon-”

He was interrupted by a beeping sound coming from the computer system alerting them of an incoming message. Kathryn rose to her feet to go investigate, since there was a good chance it would be Starfleet-related. Chakotay focused on his breakfast. A moment later a PADD appeared in his line of sight.

Chakotay’s eyes followed the hand holding it all the way to Kathryn’s face, and he looked at her curiously.

“I believe this is for you,” she said, her expression carefully neutral.

Frowning with curiosity and a touch of dread, Chakotay wiped his fingers on his napkin before he took the PADD from her. It was a letter.

_“Dear Mister Chakotay,_

_we are pleased to inform you that your application for admission to the Archaeology Program at the Cochrane University at San Francisco for the academic year 2378-2379 has been favorably reviewed by our Admission Committee…”_

“Congratulations,” Kathryn said, smiling widely now, as she moved to stand behind him and leaned forward to circle his neck with her arms, her ear and cheek brushing his as she peeked at the letter over his shoulder. “That was your first choice, wasn’t it?”

Chakotay chuckled in stunned surprise and squeezed her arm. “Yes, it was! That was awfully quick!”

“Well, it’s obvious they only took one look at your qualifications and decided they wanted you in their program! They’d be fools not to jump on the occasion! But maybe I’m biased,” she said before she kissed his cheek, and Chakotay grinned, still staring at the letter. She patted his shoulder, smiling, before she straightened and returned to her seat.

“So what do you think the department chair wants to talk to you about, if you’re already admitted into the program?” She asked curiously.

Chakotay tore his eyes away from the letter once again to look up at her. “I have no idea!”

“Well you definitely have to go to that meeting now. And you must join us afterwards and tell me everything! I’m sure everyone will be happy to see you! We could all get dinner together.”

Chakotay grinned mischievously. “Oh _now_ you want me to go to that meeting? Just a few minutes ago you had forgotten all about it.”

She met his amused look with a chuckle. “Well, you wouldn’t want to miss any important information about the program, now would you?” She said, partially hiding her grin behind her mug.

Chakotay chuckled. “Why Kathryn Janeway, such incorrigible curiosity!”

“To be rivaled only by my love for you!” she replied in the same dramatic tone and Chakotay chuckled.

“Oh nice save, Kathryn.”

She laughed.

oooOooo

Mea couldn’t help bouncing her leg nervously.

Admiral Hayes sat next to her, practically immobile from a remarkable ability to remain calm. The assembly room was just starting to fill up. Mea recognized the Deputy Inquirer General and _her_ deputies as well as many high-profile Starfleet types. However most of the expected people had yet to arrive, including the former Admiral Larks himself, who had been put under house arrest while the investigation was under way. But his absence at this time was to be expected, as he would be escorted through the front side door at the same time as the review panel. Mea had to admit, she was rather glad that this particular escorting duty hadn’t fallen on _her_ today.

Her eyes caught movement toward the back of the room and she couldn’t help but stare as Captain Stedvak entered the room. He made his way to the front warily, looking like all the world like he hadn’t slept in weeks. Despite the pale skin and sunken eyes, he was well-groomed, and to Mea’s surprise, he wasn’t wearing the Starfleet uniform. His expression was grave but calm. As if somehow, he had come to grips with the way his life had been turned upside down recently. As if he’d been freed from the burden of keeping up appearances. Freed from his stepfather’s yoke, perhaps? Strangely, Mea had never seen him look so…honest, and young. At that moment he was actually likeable.

Admiral Hayes rose to his feet to shake Stedvak’s hand when the captain reached their bench, both men’s expressions solemn. Mea nodded at the captain and he returned it with a gravity she had never expected to see in him.

While he spoke quietly with the admiral, Mea returned her attention to the door, waiting to see who else would be attending. Next entered a dark-haired commander that Mea had never met before, and behind him… the Voyager contingent. They made for quite a sight, and there were many elbow nudges among the attendees as Lieutenant Commander Torres, her husband, and several of the former Maquis who had taken part in Mr. Chakotay’s trial slowly flowed into the room. Chakotay himself wasn’t among the group, though Mea couldn’t say she was surprised. He had never struck her as a vengeful or begrudging type, though she was sorry that she wouldn’t see him today, if only to see how he was faring. A medical officer whom, Mea realized, was Voyager’s EMH walked in last with Captain Janeway. The captain was in quiet conversation with another woman – a civilian – whom Mea recognized as Camilda Loest. She would be testifying today.

Captain Janeway detached herself from the group to come and greet them. She gave a formal nod to Captain Stedvak who returned it quietly. Eventually he left to talk with the dark-haired commander Mea had noticed before.

Captain Janeway turned to Mea and the admiral, and shook their hands in greeting. For the first time since Mea had met her, the captain looked well rested. There was a kind of joyful restlessness about her as well, an eagerness that Mea could only attribute to happiness (though it was subdued given the circumstances of Larks’ hearing). She wondered what had brought up the change – besides the obvious of having succeeded in giving Mr. Chakotay back his freedom.

“Captain Janeway, I wasn’t sure you would make it. I thought you were still enjoying a well-deserved leave?” Admiral Hayes commented.

She smiled, her eyes twinkling. It was subtle, but Mea could see how it lightened her expression ever so slightly. “I was, Admiral. I thoroughly enjoyed the vacation,” she looked like she was biting back a smirk at that, “but I figured it’s about time I get back to work. I can practically hear Voyager call my name.”

“Of course, of course,” the admiral replied good-naturedly. “And how is Mr. Chakotay? Has he heard back from the anthropology departments? I hope my letter wasn’t over the top!”

Was it Mea’s imagination or did the captain’s cheeks flush ever so slightly?

“He’s well, though he sends his apologies for not being able to be here today.” she added. “He just found out he is accepted at Cochrane University. He’s asked me to thank you for the reference, Admiral.”

“Good, good,” he replied and Mea smiled to herself. The good admiral did have a habit of saying every word twice.

Captain Janeway turned to Mea. “And he asked me to give you his best regards, Ensign. Which reminds me, a little bird told me that you had applied for an internship with Takayla next fall?”

Mea exchanged a look with the admiral. The whole thing had only been confirmed the day before, clearly Captain Janeway still kept in touch with Takayla to have found that out so quickly. “That’s right, Captain. I think there’s much I can learn from her.”

Captain Janeway smiled approvingly. “I think so too.” She looked back toward her crew. “Well, I should go grab a seat. You know, it’s actually kind of a relief not to have any part to play in today’s hearings, and to just be here as a humble, but concerned citizen.”

“I’m sure it is,” Mea replied before she could stop herself.

Captain Janeway winked at her before touching her shoulder reassuringly. “Good luck,” she added with a raised eyebrow before she turned and walked away.

Mea let out a long sigh as she redirected her attention forward, to where the committee would be sitting. What was happening today, her presence here, she suddenly realized, was going to be one of those defining moments of her life. Somehow, she knew without a doubt that when she was old and grey, she would look back to _this_ day, this moment, as the beginning of her adult life. It wouldn’t be her joining Starfleet, or her getting her diploma. It would be _this_.

Right here.

At that moment the Committee entered, followed by Andrew Larks, and Mea drew in a long, steadying breath. Though she was nervous, she was ready for it.

ooooOoooo

Fog hung in the air and not even the first sunrays of morning could penetrate the mist, giving San Francisco and the high-rises of Starfleet Command the look of fantastical and slightly eerie towns of novels and folktales. As she walked, Kathryn realized she was shivering a little from the bone-penetrating dampness in the air. The stillness around her didn’t help with her nerves, and without realizing, she upped the pace.

She was nervous.

She had woken up this morning feeling like she was back on the day she had boarded Voyager for the first time, almost eight years ago, with butterflies in her stomach and uncontrollable eagerness to prove herself. She was a different person now, a different captain, and she no longer felt the need to prove to herself and everyone else what she was capable of. But despite all this, the nervousness remained. She had listened to Chakotay’s soft and deep breathing for a while as he slept next to her, and found that matching her breathing to his helped a little.

Chakotay now walked alongside her in silence, matching her pace without comment, the strap of her bag slung over his shoulder. She stepped closer to draw from his warmth and legendary grace under pressure.

He smiled at her and started to say something as he threw her a glance, but he stopped and did a double take when he noticed her expression. He stopped walking and halted her own steps with a gentle hand on her arm and a hint of incredulity in his smile. “Kathryn, you’re not nervous, are you?”

She let out a wry chuckle as she scratched her forehead. “It’s silly, I know. But I am.”

The incredulity mingled with confusion – and a hint of amusement. “Why? You’ve been through much worse without so much as a flinch. Why has your first day back on Voyager got you so worried?”

She shook her head as she looked around herself. They were only a few steps away from the entrance to the terminal, from where she would transport to the orbital docking station, and then to Voyager. Starfleet uniforms were starting to pop up from the fog around them as they went to work, paying no attention to them, or Chakotay’s civilian attire. “I don’t know. I can’t seem to shake it. What if…” She stopped herself.

Chakotay sighed empathetically as he reached out to squeeze her shoulder. He bent forward a little so to catch her eyes. “It’s not going to happen again, Kathryn,” he said quietly, and she let out a breath, more amazed than she should be that he had seen right through her.

“Of course I _know_ that.” She shook her head as she let out a tired chuckle. “I don’t usually scare so easily.” She met his eyes, and his expression softened even more at the fear that must have shone through. The fear of being separated from him in the same way she had been separated from Mark. Stranded at the other end of the galaxy with no way of getting back home except ride on the back of her own will and resourcefulness. She couldn’t bear it if it ever happened again. She had learned to let go of Mark, but Chakotay… It would just break her.

He stepped a little closer until all she could see were his features, his dark eyes and warm expression. His hands on her upper arms were warm and she realized that she had stopped shivering. “Okay, then think about this,” he argued matter-of-factly, “if, somehow, Voyager got stranded again – which it won’t – this time you wouldn’t be alone out there. You’d have your transwarp coils, and Uang would be there with Aspire, and Axum’s fleet. And not forgetting Species 8472. They’d have you back here within a day. And if _that_ didn’t work, then I’d jump on a ship without so much as a glance behind – Starfleet rules be damned – and I’d meet you halfway, no matter if it takes years.”

He was right, of course. Seeing it in this light, suddenly she realized how truly ridiculous her fears were, and she felt lighter. The tense knot in her stomach loosened, to be replaced with excitement. Through her emotions and gratefulness, Kathryn felt a chuckle bubble up in her chest and she let it out at last, shaking her head. She reached out to touch his cheek. “So, no getting rid of you no matter where I go, huh? Good.”

Realizing he had succeeded at reassuring her, he straightened and took a step back. “Now, let’s see Captain Janeway,” he commanded as he gave her an assessing lookover. Kathryn blushed under his attentive gaze, but playing the game, she cleared her throat, tried to school her amusement into a more neutral expression, squared her shoulders, and placed one hand on her hip.

“Yep, there she is,” he said as the amusement returned to his eyes and he grinned. “Bravest, fiercest woman I know.”

Her smile broke through and she reached out to put her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. “I’ll miss you.”

She felt him sigh against her. “I’ll miss you too. Stay in touch as long as you can.”

“I will.”

“Give my best to everyone.”

“Of course.”

He pulled back and dislodged the strap of her bag around his shoulder to hand it to her, and she swung it over her own shoulder.

“Anything you’d like me to bring you back from the Beta Quadrant? Seven says they have dark matter to die for.”

He chuckled, but shook his head. “Just you, back safely.”

“Got it. See you in four weeks.”

“Four weeks,” he agreed. “I’ll be in this very spot, waiting for you.”

“Try not to have too much fun while I’m away,” she added with a grin. While Kathryn would be heading out to the Beta Quadrant, Chakotay had had an offer from the Chair of the department to participate in an archaeological survey, which would allow him to start accumulating credits and ultimately help him complete the program sooner. Chakotay of course had jumped on the occasion, especially as the timing of his travels coincided perfectly with Kathryn’s deployment.

With one last smile and tug on his hand, Kathryn nodded to herself. It was time. And now that he had eradicated her fears, she felt the thrill of a new mission build up inside her. She was born to do this, and she was infinitely grateful that Chakotay loved her for it.

Making sure that the pocket watch he had given her for her birthday back in May was in her pocket, she made her way up the steps.

oooOooo

“Captain on the bridge!”

Seven smiled as she stood to attention with the rest of the bridge officers. Captain Janeway came to an abrupt halt as she stepped out of the turbolift. She met every one of the officers’ eyes, her eyes betraying a sudden rush of emotion.

“At ease,” she said when she had recovered, a smile tugging at one corner of her mouth. She touched Seven’s arm as she made her way to her chair, then nodded at Commander Tuvok and Tom Paris as she stepped down the stairs. She stopped when she reached Commander Peres, who still stood at attention, despite her command.

“Commander,” she greeted with a nod and gestured to the chair next to hers. The one that had belonged to Chakotay before it had been his. Peres replied with a rather nervous nod of his own before he sat down.

Seven had been present when Captain Janeway had asked Peres to retain his position as First Officer, on the day Voyager had returned from its first journey to the Beta Quadrant. Captain Janeway had come to greet the crew, though Seven suspected she had also wanted to see for herself that her vessel was undamaged.

_“Commander,”_ Janeway had asked _, “what would you say if I asked you to keep your position as First Officer on Voyager?”_

The commander had blinked rather humorously. _“I’d say it’s an honor I could not refuse, Captain.”_

The captain had smiled. _“Good. I expect you to be ready to report on the bridge on the 24 th.”_

His face had broken into an amazed smile. _“Aye, Captain.”_

And as simply as this, Commander Peres had been integrated into the Voyager crew. Though Chakotay could never truly be replaced, Seven was confident that Peres would blend in well with the crew.

Standing now before her captain’s chair, Janeway pulled out a small object from her pocket, an old-fashioned watch, and looked at it for a moment, her fingers delicately tracing the engravings. Seven wondered whether Chakotay had given it to her. An hour earlier, as Seven had made her way across Starfleet Headquarters to report to the transporter room, she had witnessed what had looked like a tender moment between Chakotay and the captain. The two of them had been standing a short distance of the steps of the building, very close together, whispering, oblivious to the bustle of activity around them as people walked in and out of the building. There had been nothing unusual about their postures per se, as the two of them had always seemed to stand close together. However, what had stopped Seven from walking forward to greet them was the way Janeway had laughed at something Chakotay had said, and shaking her head, she had touched his face. It hadn’t been the touch of a friend, but that of a lover.

Seven had stopped and retreated. Knowing them both as well as she knew anyone on Voyager, this development had not surprised her. In fact she was glad of it. Her own recent experiences with Axum made her understand all too well how difficult it was to part in such a way, however, so she had opted not to interrupt their farewells.

She and Axum had only been separated for a few weeks, yet she had dearly missed him during that time. They had communicated using the alcoves, and though it had been better than no communication at all, it had hardly compared to having him physically by her side. Despite all this, however, their arrangement suited her. For now.

During their virtual conversations they had furthered their plans for Safe Haven, and thanks to Captain Janeway’s lobbying to her superiors, Starfleet had agreed to sponsor the project. They would be sending resources and people to assist in the early stages of the project. In fact, the first contingent was probably on their way to the designated planet now, to meet with some of Axum’s people and get the first phase of the project started.

With newfound resolve, Captain Janeway suddenly straightened and put the watch back into her pocket before she took her seat, her expression returning to her typical commanding presence. It was good to see her in this position again.

Seven couldn’t help thinking back to her last conversation with Stedvak, the day of Voyager’s return, when he had told her of his intention to resign from Starfleet. It had come as a surprise to her, given all the trouble he had gone to get Voyager in the first place (though, really, it had mostly been his stepfather’s doing). However, the recent events had made him realize he _didn’t even like being at the head of a tin box traveling through the vacuum of space,_ or so he’d told her when they had found themselves in the turbolift together. She had refrained from telling him that the materials composing Voyager’s hull did not include tin.

_“For what it’s worth,_ ” Stedvak had continued, not quite meeting her eyes, _“I apologize for my behavior toward you. You saved my life. I could have handled things better, I think.”_

_“Apology accepted_ ,” Seven had replied simply, understanding from his expression how much it had cost him to say those words.

They had parted – not quite as allies, but not as enemies either. She had learned afterwards from Commander Peres that Simon Stedvak had gotten a contract as a holophotographer for one of San Francisco’s large news outlet. Seven had been unable to stop her eyebrows from rising in surprise at this turn of events. Who would have known the man had such interests or aptitudes? Hopefully doing something he truly enjoyed would make him happier and less of a burden on those around him.

“Lieutenant Commander Torres, how are we in Engineering?” Captain Janeway asked with a smile directed at B’Elanna Torres who stood at her console in the back. Her hands rubbed the armrests on each side of her even as she spoke, as if she was getting reacquainted with the feel of it. Or caressing a pet.

Commander Torres smiled in kind. “The transwarp coils are in working order, and the warp core is ready to be powered up, Captain.”

Janeway nodded. “Good. And our youngest recruit?”

“Sleeping soundly in the nursery, I’ve been told. Something – I should warn you all – you probably shouldn’t get used to,” B’Elanna added with a smirk.

Janeway chuckled. “Duly noted. Well, let’s take advantage of her sleeping for now.”

“Sound decision, Captain,” Tom Paris agreed from his seat at the helm.

Though bringing a baby on board for this mission was far from logical from Seven’s point of view, the captain had agreed to take Miral Paris with them. It was a compromise they were willing to make to have B’Elanna Torres and Tom Paris back with them, the captain had argued – and accordingly the crew had taken every precaution to increase the security and tighten emergency protocols.

“Lieutenant Kim, Commander Tuvok?”

“Ready, Captain,” the two officers replied after checking their consoles.

“Seven,” the captain continued, “do we have our rendezvous coordinates with Mr. Axum?”

“We have a course, Captain.”

“Alright, then! Lieutenant Paris, fire her up.”

Tom grinned. “Aye Captain.”

Seven took in a deep breath as she watched the displays on her console, and beneath her feet, Voyager hummed to life.

 

The END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whew! Thank you for sticking through with this monster of a story and reading to the end! I hope you’ve enjoyed the journey! I’ve certainly enjoyed sharing it with you all! I would often find myself grinning stupidly to myself when I worked on the final chapters, and I sincerely hope the affliction has spread to at least some of you ;-) 
> 
> And if you’re wondering what happened to Larks, I will let you be the jury and decide.
> 
> Now I’m afraid this story has sucked my muse dry for now (there’s a Halloween-esque mental image for ya!), but I’m always open to prompts and suggestions! If you have an episode tag or a J/C moment that hasn’t been done or that you’d like to read my take on, feel free to message me! I can’t guarantee I’ll write it (or if I do write it, that it’ll be done quickly), but I’ll definitely give any serious suggestion my sincerest consideration!
> 
> Thank you, and until next time!

**Author's Note:**

> You’ll notice I’ve taken some liberties with Chakotay’s past for the purpose of this story, especially his relationship with his sister – who I believe is only mentioned in one episode (Author, Author). It has been pointed out to me that in the novels Chakotay’s sister is named Sekeya. Obviously I haven’t read the novels, and I don’t know if they’re considered canon or not, but for the purpose of this story, imagine this is an alternate storyline.
> 
> I’m also taking some liberties with Starfleet’s judicial system with the introduction of the Justice Inquirer General (it’ll come up soon enough) as a kind of analog to the US Navy JAG corps (an entirely fictitious version, mind). So I hope you’ll forgive these liberties, and hopefully I won’t stray too far from the spirit of the characters and the Star Trek universe. I should also point out that I have not seen DS9, so I apologize in advance if I steer away from the canon Maquis storyline.


End file.
